Aa
Fear of Gynecological Exam
Over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager, my mother forced me to have an abortion. It was my first visit to the gynecologist. I haven't been to the gyn in over 10 years because just being there produces severe panic attacks, and sometimes self-injurious behavior. Has anyone ever had this happen to them? I know that nobody LIKES going, but now I am having abnormal bleeding between periods and pelvic pain and I just can't bring myself to go. Tried therapy...didn't work. So what now?
I'm trying to find a Dr. That can use blood and imaging or sedation for exams.... I hv fear since an abortion ten years ago where I was thrown out in the middle for crying. I am trying to concrete at thirty five so I must do something. Any ideas. Houston Rx area.
Can't they run blood and imaging tests instead of hands on? IF anyone knows please respond. I have a fear of the pelvic exam too from abortion years ago but am now trying to conceive but can't handle a stranger poking and proving. I can stand needles or anything .Anyone have info on a Dr.? Houston area
I´m not sure wether Im releaved or more unhappy about reading your questions but one thing I do kno is that Im not the only one-thank god. Im squeamish and I act extremely "ridiculously" every time I go for any kind of these tests. One test I had back in England, well, the doctors made me do it myself because I was under so much panic and crying continously. The other day was my very first smear with an appointment in a Spanish health centre. Every thing was going through my head, the difference in language (which I guess isnt the main problem as Im rather fluent these days), moreover: the fact that its normal to have 3 people in the room, the other fact that because Ive missed my period (still praying that it comes soon) they were shouting in a rather unsympathetic way if I thought I was pregnant before my smear, they thought I as getting pissy with them because I as nervous and they didnt really understand why I was acting like a baby....the list goes on. But anyway, they managed to get me in the chair and I was breathing deeply with anxiety. I have to agree with some of the people in this forum that, because Im so low down in the chair without being in control I star to have the panic attacks. The women couldnt do it and I began crying uncontrollably, thinking I might die if I never go through with this thing. (My auntie died recently of cancer of the cervix because she didnt go for smears and all the Spanish docs could say to me was, well "all the better for you to let us look at you". They dont understand and they think its so easy for women like us (and for someone who lost someone so dearly to me) but what they didnt know untill I said to them is that I cry when I see a bit of blood on TV, thats how "bad" I am.....So one doctor gave me Valium (2little blue tablets) for my next visit. They told me to put 1 under my tongue half an hour before the exam so it would sedate me but Im worried about having another emotional performance like the other day with more hours of uncontrolable crying and finally not being able to go through with it...... Anyone know how effective Valium is? Its my only hope because having someone at the side of me is not going to work...I need to be in control. Thanks for your messages guys, I was crying reading some of them as I feel the pain too.
I am an adult already had a child and yet still get anxious at just the thought of a GYN exam...I get extremely anxious , I cry and half the time getting the speculum in is nearly impossible to the point of frustration for the provider....it is so embarrassing for me that I get like this ......part of the problem is I get embarrassed about my behavior I know its no big deal to have a GYN exam but I cant seem to control the sense of dread that over comes me when I go.....I really was thinking I am the only one with this problem ......in many ways its comforting to know I am not. I had a GYN exam today and almost didn't get to complete it everything in my body said run. I ask the doctor to let the medical assistant in the room just so she can hold my hand and hold my leg because I involuntarily close them making it worse...the doctor going to have to give me one pill like valium before I can do this again next time .....its just to much for me....I am home now and anyone would think I went through some type of trauma ...I still feel so upset so anxious.........I am a nurse I seen a surgical procedure where they removed a gigantic tumor and the leg was completely gone.....been present when eye sitting top of a friend head after a horse kicked it out.....was present and assisted a neighbor who was shot and screaming for help I went to him not thinking if the gun man was still....he had bullet hole in his head through his eye and 4 more shots in the abdomen but I did leave his side while all the other women where screaming..... so I am not a squeamish nervous scary cat person....I seen stab wounds...I had an infected thyroglossal tumor in my neck and the doctor came to me with a gigantic horse needle .....I am not exaggerating..... and I let him stick it in my neck with out anesthesia so he can drain the infection...I didnt move or cry..........yet this very common exam that most women can do with ease and simplicity I perceive and experience as a traumatic nerve wrenching event....I have no problem with sex ......my partner and I have great sex with out any drama from me.......yet I can not do a GYN exam without crying.......I know something happened to make me like this but can't and won't discuss it.....I can say that the doctor makes all the difference...I have had only two female doctors who where so great that If I knew where they where I would fly there just so they can do my exam.....my first great experience was with a provider in missouri her husband and her had a practice together and she saw how nervous I was and without me saying anything she began helping me to relax by talking about my son....then she relaxed my legs muscle in the inner thigh....... she first did an exam without the speculum and even that she did with great care relaxing the muscle there first...then when I least expected it she placed the speculum ever so gently and kept talking to me and never judged me and before I knew it it was over......I was even afraid to tell her what was hurting me but she was so good at what she does she told me where it hurt and she says I can tell it hurts and its ok for you to tell me she said your not imagining the pain you have a tumor there .......my previous GYN had told my husband for years that I imagined the pain and it wasn't real......even now thinking about this great doctor... I want to hug her ...I pray she is well where ever she is and wish with all my heart she could still be my GYN but I no longer live in missouri......any way hope that all the ladies out there who have this problem know your not alone and I pray you find the right provider who will help you get through this exam with out judgement or criticism...........PS for give all my typos and bad grammer writing in a hurry
I had HUGE anxiety regarding these visits and kind of wonder if I'll be rescheduling my next appointment for a later date! If I'm having too stressful a month, I might just postpone, though not too long a delay! If things are going well in the weeks before my visit, then I'll be in a better mood & more relaxed, easier on everyone!
I ignored some red flags, especially pain on my right side, so finally was referred to a gyn. She was a little impatient, raising her voice at me at times, but it didn't stop her from saving my life in a 5 hour surgery two days later!
Turned out I had a 20 pound ovarian mass--Ovarian Cancer Stage A. (And I thought it was just winter weight gain! Others thought I had a hearty appetite. I looked like I was pregnant but tryed to hide it with one size fits all clothing. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me ... still I dragged my feet overly long in getting myself checked out.)
Now I have to be checked more closely.
One suggestion I have is that gratitude, (even prayerful gratitude), for the skills of the gyn/surgeon can help to lessen some of the fear. Even a little less fear probably helped me through the exam, though I was a big baby and still had to hold the hand of one of the office staff! This is true with a lot of other difficult visits such as the dentist ... Gratitude knocks out fear a lot of times, (though not always)! I felt a lot of pain in the visit, so half cried and nearly screamed a couple of times. But the visit is very, very short.
I think some kind of sedative is a good idea for those patients like myself who are very fearful ...
There sure are a lot of us who feel just the same way!
I just have to tell myself that it's not a torture session, and that my own fear could have killed me! The doctor certainly wouldn't! This doctor I feared the most--a gynecologist--actually saved my lifed with her great knowledge and skill when it came to having surgery.
I ignored some red flags, especially pain on my right side, so finally was referred to a gyn. She was a little impatient, raising her voice at me at times, but it didn't stop her from saving my life in a 5 hour surgery two days later!
Turned out I had a 20 pound ovarian mass--Ovarian Cancer Stage A. (And I thought it was just winter weight gain! Others thought I had a hearty appetite. I looked like I was pregnant but tryed to hide it with one size fits all clothing. I wondered what the heck was wrong with me ... still I dragged my feet overly long in getting myself checked out.)
Now I have to be checked more closely.
One suggestion I have is that gratitude, (even prayerful gratitude), for the skills of the gyn/surgeon can help to lessen some of the fear. Even a little less fear probably helped me through the exam, though I was a big baby and still had to hold the hand of one of the office staff! This is true with a lot of other difficult visits such as the dentist ... Gratitude knocks out fear a lot of times, (though not always)! I felt a lot of pain in the visit, so half cried and nearly screamed a couple of times. But the visit is very, very short.
I think some kind of sedative is a good idea for those patients like myself who are very fearful ...
There sure are a lot of us who feel just the same way!
I just have to tell myself that it's not a torture session, and that my own fear could have killed me! The doctor certainly wouldn't! This doctor I feared the most--a gynecologist--actually saved my lifed with her great knowledge and skill when it came to having surgery.
I went to the gyno ONE time. They made me feel like crap. I have severe anxiety and when the nurse realized I have had sex before she made me sound like I was a *****. During the breast exam I got nervous and covered my breast when she was finished checking and she said with an attitude "let me do my job". I was so embarrassed. A couple of years ago I went to get tested for STD's (all negative) I was an emotional wreck. The dr told me I had a deep vagina!! WTF?! Anyway, I haven't been to a gyno in about 5 years and I really have no clue when I will go again. I have PCOS and should go, but I am terrified to be embarrassed again and made to feel stupid.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Women's Health Community
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.
