Feeling like I'm going crazy, need advice

[Firefighter's wife]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. I'm needing some help. Lately I've been depressed and I don't know why. There's nothing going on in my life that would even be making me depressed or even angry but for the most part I've been angry. Thats how I act when I get upset. When I feel like crying I get mad instead. The only thing about this that bothers me so much is that I've recently just gotten married. My husband is a very loving man. He is very patient with me when I get in my moods. But I know that I hurt him because he feels like its his fault and that he's doing something wrong. I know its not him, but its him I;m taking it out on. I have no doubts about him or that I regret that I married him. I just don't know what the cause of this is and I really need some help and going to a psychiatrist won't help. Already tried that. I feel alone. I feel like I have no friends or anyone I can talk to. Can anyone help or at least talk to me so I don't feel like I'm all alone. Just to set the record straight before I'm asked I am not suicidal nor have I conteplated suicide. I just need to talk to some down to earth people that understands the struggles of everyday life.

[alanna51]

Hi, I want you to know you are not alone when it comes to these emotions. I am on this site for the same reason, I have started feeling depressed recently and it was triggered by a fear of losing my loved ones again.

I have in the past lost the family I knew, to death and sibling rivalry and it drove me almost to suicide. I find since then, I have become over protective of my grandchildren and watchful of everything I say to my children, for fear of losing them.

I have always been able to cope in the past but I find this to huge to handle and I constantly feel vulnerable. I find being an empty nester and living alone doesn't help, you feel like your job is done and you're no longer needed, that you have become invisible.
I would like to see more dialogue and less texting and computers so we can start relating to one another again, it worked in the past and we didn't have to contend with the isolation that comes with the latest technology.
It could be that something as far back as your childhood has been triggered off and is causing your depression, once you can identify what it is you can start to heal. I wish you luck, if you need to talk I will be happy to listen if it's helpful to you. So remember you are not alone there are tens of thousands of people out their in our boat who are unable to tell family for fear of driving them away. Take care Alanna

[jrtbebabe]

I feel horrible.   I feel suicidal at times.  It's worse like a week before my period.   I'm married and feel so sorry for my husband, he is usually very supportive but I am afraid to have kids when I feel this way and I am scared I am going to loose him because of my inability to control my sadness and anger.  I have recently lost wieght and have been taking much better care of myself and thought I was doing better but lately I've felt worse than ever.     What do I do. I used to smoke but I quit a year ago but now I drink too much.  I'm not a heavy dinker, but it's turned into a nightly thing because I feel so lonely.  What do I do?

[bigelbows]

it could be some old emotions that being married is bringing up for you. some childhood things. you might need to look into that. it's just a thought. if you felt ok before and depressed since marriage. it could be existentialist: you look for something for happiness and then when you get it, you feel, is that all there is?  and life feels a bit empty.  could try doing something creative like painting or dancing or doing some charity work to do good on this earth

[k_jana]

Would you like to ry something herbal that works for lots of people? It is called Rhodiola Rosea. The herb seems to add spice to life -- feelings of joy, pleasure, and excitement. Many formerly depressed or anxious patients have told us how Rhodiola rosea has enabled them to be happy again, to connect with other people, to feel grounded. To begin with, by helping to calm an overactive stress response system and replenish depleted energy reserves, the herb enhances our ability to tolerate stress -- the primary cause of depression and anxiety. And just like conventional antidepressants, Rhodiola rosea boosts the levels of neurotransmitters that play a critical role in regulating mood, energy, and the ability to enjoy life -- only without the negative side effects. Try it and let me know, it usually works within few days.

[krabbykake]

You need to get involved in things that make you happy.  You need an outside life and something you can call your own.  Something that gives you drive in the morning to get out of bed and motivates you.  This could change everything as simple as it sounds, it works.
You have nothing to lose and the world is just outside your door. I know because I thought something was missing in my life and before I knew it I was divorcing my husband.  It wasn't him, it was me.  I was mad at myself for not going after my dreams and letting stupid, small things hold me back always with some old excuse.  
Try it, this could change your life. :-)

[Firefighter's wife]

hi everyone. thanks for the post. Maybe I should have been a little more clear. Yes I've suffered from depression for a long time. I have sought psychiatric help many times. nothing seems to help. I've even been on perscriptions. Its like I get angry all the time. Thats my problem more than anything. And since some of you that posted comments have a husband thats a firefighter then you know what its like to be at home or alone a lot of times. That makes it even worse. Now don't get me wrong, I love what he does and I know that it makes him happy, it just gets lonely sometimes. I think thats my main problem is not having friends and being alone all the time. Thanks for the advice please continue to give it.

[PGB]

Hey.  Just looking through all these posts and your name caught my eye. As the wife of a firefighter myself, and someone who also suffers from depression & anxiety let me say I understand completely.  If you want to talk (or vent) I'm here. Take care & know that you are not alone.  You are not the only one who feels this way sometimes.....

[islandprincess]

hey girl.....it has been a depressing moment in the island here 4 me to.........i'm arranging my marriage for next yr to my fiance of 3 yrs & we're suppose to get land brought which we haven't seen yet....his sister who's trying to help us keeps borrowing money from our savings for the land & never payed back.....then at my job my contract ends December this yr.......i would need a new job ASAP to get money saved up for our wedding & new home.......Then my parents are giving me a hard time making me want to move on my own.....plus the feeling of still wanting a baby is driving me crazy.......then as i saw your name it reminded me of when my fiance had signed up to be a firefighter & they scracthed his name off....if he was a firefighter we would have a better life right now.......:(....so ur not alone in this depression time...u have it way better than some of us trust me.........

pr!nce$$

[shanfowler]

Find another Psychiatrist, perhaps one that does counseling as well. I have had depression and OCD for a long  time and I had to go through several doctors to get it right.

Even if you just see a counselor that can be very therapeutic in of itself. Get a journal, write your thoughts & track your moods. When you are feeling good, write what makes you feel good, favorite things, people to call. You can reflect on this when you are feeling down.

[kenziesmom]

Has this happened before?  It could be seasonal.  A lot of people feel depressed when the winter months begin.  Lack of vitamin D (from the sun) has been proven to have that effect on some people.

[Aruba417]

You said you've recently gotten married. I have to tell you that for awhile after I got married I also got like this! It went away after awhile. But I would get up at night and just cry for no reason. Heavy sobbing cries! And I would get VERY angry and throw my shoes around my room like a kid throwing a tantrum over something my hubby did or didn't do. And it was never his fault. I think it was the post-wedding blues. I read about that on theknot.com.

I was being treated for anxiety, which I'd had long before we got married, but I think those meds helped the depression because one day I just wasn't feeling like that anymore. Weird. Good luck and God Bless!!!

[babygirl414]

right now i am extremely depressed also im so depressed that i have thoughts of suicide once in a blue moon but not seriously, but mine is so bad that i am actually numb. i just lost the guy i love so much you wouldnt believe. i am sorry to hear that this is going on after gettin married, you should be overly happy well i would suggest taking something like the other person said i know they do help trust me. i mean i dont feel comfortable talkin to people who are going to write everything down and nod, thats not me but i would strongly advise meds at least for a while and see if they help but if you need someone to talk to i am here for you. i wish you the best of luck with everything though

[nalla]

Do you feel this way all the time or just certain times of the month? I get that a week before my AF. My Dr. said it's PMDD. If it's all the time you may have some kind of hormonal imbalance. Go see your Dr. and talk to him about it. He may be able to recomend somebody that you could talk to and/or get you on some meds. I understand what you are going through. I am very depressed right now, but I know the reason. I am here if you want to talk or vent or just whatever. I'm sorry you are going through this.

[lucylocket2]

Hi, my name is Lucy. I live in WV. Now, You have a friend. You'll meet a lot on here. There are a lot of women who get this way. i am not one to advice taking pills for problems, but they do help. When i get that way it feels like the world is on my shoulders. You need to sit down and look around you. Be thankful for everything you have. Remember to, God won't give you anything you can't handle.I would advise though to go see a medical doctor. there are so many things he /she can do to help you. It took a lot for me to go. Try to take up a hobby or do yoga. I wish you luck and I'll be thinkin about ya. Have a good day!

[AnnieBrooke]

I would try a different either psychiatrist or psychologist -- not everyone "clicks" for the needs of every person.  Also ask about one of the antidepressants such as Zoloft.  You don't want to lose your wonderful husband over this when help is available.  Good luck!!!