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I am having my first OBGYN appointment. Can she tell if i have had sex?
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No.  Even if your hymen is broken, she will not be able to tell from this if you had sex, because women can break their hymens from all sorts of activity like sports and excersize.  But if you pop up with an STD, then the cat is out of the bag.  Blessings - Blu
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The other thing is, even if your doctor were to be able to divine that you are no longer a virgin, she could not divulge this information to your mom.  Just be sure you don't have your mom in the room, and anything you tell your doctor or she finds out, is confidential.  Pelvic exams are awkward and peculiar enough, there is no point in having Mom in the room.  She (your mom) should understand; she herself probably doesn't invite you into the room when she is having one.   If you let your mom know you want to do this alone with only the doctor and nurse, as long as she is not suspicious of your reasons (and having a pelvic exam and wishing for privacy in such a moment is reason enough) she should be willing to wait out in the waiting room.  She (your mom) cannot force her way in if you ask that she not be there.
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The first two posters are correct about privacy.  The only things clinicians can disclose without your consent are things like certain STDs to health officials (NOT your parents), and suspicion of abuse, also to certain authorities.  Also, any clinician worth their salt will kick your parent out while they do the physical exam if you're a teenager, and will wait to ask you about things like sexual history until after your parent has left.  And no, unless you have an STD or are pregnant, the doctor cannot tell if you are a virgin or not.

However, it is a SPECTACULARLY bad idea to lie to one's physician about anything, because it impedes their ability to give you good care.  Even if you lie to everyone else, tell your doctor the truth.
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