Women's Health Community
I seriously need reassurance, my labia minora is NOT NORMAL
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to women's health issues, including bone health, gynecologic cancers, genetic testing, heart disease, infectious diseases, work issues, mammograms, reproductive health, sexuality, domestic abuse and sexual violence.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

I seriously need reassurance, my labia minora is NOT NORMAL

I think my vagina is very very ugly. the labia minora is a darkened color and it is almost 2 times longer that the outer lips. My boyfriend is a lot more experienced than i am. I've only been with one other guy before him. He says that i am "different", but won't admit whether it turns him off or not. But our sex is still great. i've seen pictures and videos of other people's vaginas and it only makes me feel uglier.
Please tell me that there are others out there with the same "problem". i wish i had a pretty little pink one like the girls in porn clips; but i do not want surgery. We love eachother very much and i don't want this "isseue" to ruin our sexlife due to my lack of self esteem. Big sisters..please help!
Related Discussions
139 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
everybodys are certainly different there is no normal looking vagina those ones you see on the movies are porno stars they have everything perfect other wise they wouldent be in the job beleive me more people then not have this problem not that its a problem your not the only one that thinks that though.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
ya know what? and this is my opinion! show me a vagina that IS pretty! vaginas are not the most attractive part of our bodies. i often wonder why men think they are so attractive. what you describe sounds like a typical vagina to me! i am not sure why you think yours is so unusual? i don't know your age but it does seem as if the area darkens as we get older. i always think it looks like a hunk of medium to rare roast beef!

men are very visual. if you feel confident and sexy with yourself and eager to show him, he will think its sexy no matter what it looks like. your're fine.
Blank
79258_tn?1190634010
No, no, it IS normal. There's enormous variation in color, size, shape and texture of labia... I believe it was Betty Dodson who said labia are like snowflakes - all are different, and all are beautiful. Some are very thick, some are very thin, some are practically non-existant, some are long, some are black or gray, some are pale pink... it's all over the map. I am quite sure that however yours look, they ARE beautiful. You might check out the book Femalia, by Joani Blank, for some great photos of labia. And check out Betty Dodson's site - not only does she have lots of vulva illustrations, but she is SO sex-positive and accepting, it would help you feel better about yourself. Also, there are tons of websites with photos of women with large labia. Many, many, MANY guys (and women) find it an enormous turnon ;-)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Mine changed as I got older, darker and after a baby, have similar length that you are describing - so PLEASE don't feel strange or alone. I can't remember when, but when I noticed the changes from a smaller and less colored labia minora to what it is now I felt it was not attractive either, and wondered what was up. It was like it got stretched out... which is probably partly true I guess - 9 lb baby was no piece of cake to push out!

Enjoy yourself and your body... Todo
Blank
120255_tn?1197070547
There is a book called "Femaila" that I encourage you to check out.  It's a collection of pictures of vaginas, nothing else.  It's artistic, not pornographic and the point of it is to show how different they all are and that there is no normal.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Have to tell ya -- I even took out a mirror and did a check (haven't looked down there in awhile)after reading your post and medium-rare slice of roast beef category for me it is as well! My thought is you may be more in the norm/avg category as far as size, color and shape than you realize, but I'm no expert here!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i would like to thank all of you for taking the time to leave me a message. i am feeling a lot better and most important- i feel a lot more pretty and for once "normal".

Thank you guys!!! :-)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm going through the same problem also except maybe worse .I'm very insecure about my vagina and think that it looks too "loose" and "darkened" on some spots. The most embarrassing thing is that im too young for this problem (just turned twenty years old) Between the ages of ten and twelve years old, it was incredibly itchy "down there”. Because I was a child, I would just constantly relieve it until eventually my right labia kind of "popped out" and became so incredibly loose that it no longer itched. The itchy problem was solved but once I turned thirteen years old, I had realized what I had done. As the years went by it got a little worse through just wiping myself and masturbating (I’m only human). Just recently I lost my virginity, but my boyfriend was really annoyed with the "don't look and don't touch with your hands or tongue policy." I was annoyed with myself to and still am. And ever since I lost my virginity the problem got a hundred times worse over night. Not only does my vagina look terrible, but it is also starting to feel uncomfortable and hurt a little bit. At least before I could ignore it most of the time but now that I can feel my biggest insecurity, I am constantly reminded of it. I’m too embarrassed to tell my mother, and I’m going to be humiliated when I go to my first gyno check up this month. Even if I did speak up about it, there is nothing that can be done. I can't afford the expensive surgeries and I know that my mother's insurance won't pay for it. I regret so much of not speaking up as child when my vagina was obviously irritated. So now I have this life long problem that is ruining my sex life and relationships with men. Do I know what you're going through? Are there others like you out there? Yes and I'm one of them.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
girls- you need to google around the internet here's a site for example that shows some pictures www.sexylabia.com its a little pornographic- but you'll see that you're normal...
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm 22 and when I was younger I felt the same way only because the only other vaginas I saw were my little middleschool boyfriends playboys they would bring to school( kids...) I was terrified of becoming sexually active because I swear I thought mine had to be disfigured and not "normal" when I finally did have sex with my boyfriend I did the same and didn't let him really look or touch down there which now that I look back on it killed the experience haha... but eventually in my search to be normal I looked up pictures of vaginas and they mostly all looked something like me and when I researched surgery for it honestly I think the surgery makes u look waaay more abnormal...the best thing is to be confident and know u are normal because there is no specific way to look and if ur boyfriend is so mature and experienced himself he would also know this...by the way they're  hardly ever light pretty pink like u see in movies....just relax it'll get better it did for me
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i read masturbation and sex can't make it worse?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Masturbation, itching, sex...nothing can literally change the outer appearance of anyone's vulva, unless someone were to hang weights on them for long extended periods of time.  I don't know of anyone who does that...

I have longer labia minora too, and I will be the first to admit I had the same insecurites everyone else has had.  They were too long, to dark, too whatever...and guess what?  It was all in my head!  You all have got to understand that labia and vulvas are a lot like noses.  Not one of them is the same, but they all have the same parts.  Every female on the planet has the same parts, the exact way those parts are shaped vary TREMEDOUSLY from woman to woman.  

I don't usually recommend anyone to look at porn, but search the word "labia" in google!! DIREGARD THE LABIA SURGERY SITES. All they want is your money to "fix" your perfectly gorgeous labia.  

If someone doesn't like your labia, they don't deserve a beautiful, exotic woman in the first place!  And I can tell them that for you!  

PS.  I am getting married this next May, and my fiance and I have already discussed my pouty lips.  He can't wait to have them all to himself every day and night!  

=] Keep your chin up! You ARE NORMAL.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am only fifteen and I am really worried. I am just about getting into a proper relationship now but there's no way I would have sex now because I am embarrased of my labia minora. I have gone so far to show people and they have said its fine but it looks really long compared to others and I am a virgin. I have talked to my best friend but it was really hard, I don't think she really understood. Can anyone help me please?! I would be so grateful! Thanks, EJB.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hi, I am a guy and let me tell you one thing first....variety is the spice of life!

Now, you are different, all women are different and that is the excitement men receive from different women.....you just need to make sure your man is done with his wandering years though.

I have seen the full spectrum of lips.  all dark, all light, light with dark edges, non existent lips, larger than normal clitoris.  The are all nice; that is the bottom line...they are all nice!

Now, I prefer to see the female anatomy vice not...so the more the better.  Again, I do not prefer the little to no lips but they will suffice.  Variety is the spice of life.

btw, i am married and i do not engage in that "variety" thing anymore...but there was a time when i did....it was after my divorce from a cheating spouse who had a darked edge on her lips (i hate that now for obvious reasons!)  My current wife has the entire region darker as well but does not have the black trim on the edge.  She has normal size lips but a larger than normal clitoris.  Regardless, I love my wife and that is what makes her special...what sets her apart.  I crave her body parts and cant live without them!

You are fine!  In fact I would say beautiful but out of respect for our partners I will refrain!
Blank
568659_tn?1256143582
what an awful thing to say, jack ***
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
What a loser.
That person obviously has only been with one person or none.
Even on porn they sizes and colours are different.
Everyone is different!
I think my clitoris is a little bigger than normal, but my boyfriend likes it.
Be more confident and love yourself.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
rub your labias on your boyfriends face...he'll definately love it trust me,boys always gets turned on by the sweet aroma of our feminity. try it...it'll work,keep posting
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
hi, and i think i'm going through the same thing as you. except i'm a bit behind, i'm 15 and have noticed for a few years that my right labia minoria just kinda popped out one day. i don't recall scratching it obsessivly but something is deffinately strange. i want to talk to my mom about it but would be way too embarassed. the left side looks completly normal and can't understand what happened.  the right side looks pretty gross to me and multiple times i've tried to tuck in the weird little flap but i know that no matter what i do if and when i ever with a guy and he's down "there" i know it'll come untucked or whatever and the only thing i'll be thinking about is what he is thinking and if he thinks its gross.  i feel like i ruined my future sex life and its killing me.  if anyone as any tips or advice please let me know!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am also 15, and I'm not sure when, but one day my labia minoria just popped out. Since then I've been very insecure about it, and wondering if it's normal or if I'm just a freak. I have had sex, and the guy didn't seem to mind, but I'm still not sure. Does anyone know what causes people to have large labia minoria?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Please, please, please do NOT worry or concern yourselves, girls & women, boys & men, with the appearance, structure, or form of your body. Lips, clits, penises and vaginas are the standard issue with the corperal form into which your mortal soul comes into the world. The CHOICES we make have the impact on the world in which we live.

The size, color or smell of your sexual organs have nothing to do with anything, unless you are ill. We should all concern ourselves with our behavior instead of how our bodies appear. Hey, Lads & Lasses, we are only on this world for a short stint. Let's make the most of it. I pray that we can all be kind to each other & treat our family members right.

Alice. I am a UK ***** who doesn't understand why EVERYONE just doesn't do what's right. Sigh.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am also 15, I have large labia,
and I love them.
They are wonderfull, trust me a girl with just a plain old slit would be bored of oral sex...
I can't get enough. Maybe it's bad for me to say that at this age?
but when you find someone who truly loves you for who you are (and they are part of who you are, absolutely beautiful) he'll be happy to even be in bed with you!
just be proud of what you've got, because no one else has one quite like yours and come on - if we were all the same then men wouldnt care who they married or slept with.. in fact I don't think they'd even bother.

And if anyone still has issues with thier labia I would quite happily show you just how nice they are!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have noticed, in my experience, that women with large Labia Minora (Inner lips) also have larger clitorises.  For me, personally, I find this to be more of a good thing than a bad thing.  Sure, you can go and compare yourself to those air-brushed ******* in Playboy, and get down about how yours looks, but before you do, why don't you have your significant other go compare themselves to Peter North or John Holmes.  That will make them feel sufficiently insufficient enough to realize that they, themselves, are not as well endowed as they wish.  Fact is, NO woman's bodies that I have ever seen (and this is coming from someone who worked in exotic dance clubs for several years, as well as having been around the block a few times) is ever 100% perfect.  I have seen women with "perfect" breasts, but unattractive labias, and I have seen women with text book privates, but unattractive breasts.  I've seen some who are generally good all over, and some who are generally bad all over.  Fact is, it is our personal imperfections that make us perfect to someone out there.

My wife is young.  I was her first, and her Labia was large before we met.  She felt that she was different, and was worried that something was wrong with her, but, when I first saw her nude, and liked I saw, she was relieved.  You, as well, will find that your guy will not only "not mind" your large lips, but, if will find that they are more than useful in giving pleasure.

I've been with women with all sorts of body types....  if every one were the same, life would be boring.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hi, I'm 29 and have had the same problem when I was younger. Only I wasn't so worried about it then (I did ask my Mom back then and she said hers were like that, too) and I am definitely not worried about it now! One side of my labia minora is way bigger than the other and hangs out and the other isn't. I always thought this was kind of cool and I used to kind of "play" with it a lot - I got the feeling I was making it more prominent by doing so - but hey, my body is my body.
I really think it's nothing to worry about - nobody ever thought this was unattractive or even mentioned it. Because it isn't. And I'm married, so plenty of experience there.
So just enjoy your labia for what they are - and trust me, no boyfriend is  going to care. They're going to think it attractive, most likely.
Anyways, to bak9591: You describe some discomfort, like pain and itching. You might have a vaginal infection of some kind. Yeast infections are common and unpleasant. If that still continues, you should probably ask an Ob/Gyn for advice - I had a yeast infection when I started the pill and it was very annoying.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
up until this moment I had no idea that I wasn't the only one! I am 17. I'm definitely in the category of dark and long but before today I had considered myself in the category of 'bound to be a virgin forever' because every time I got close to a guy I'd panic, not because I was uncomfortable with being close but because I was uncomfortable with myself, I thought it was some kind of mutation. I have felt this way since I was about 10 or 11. I feel like I actually have potential for a real relationship now, one that will begin without me being certain it has to end.
Now if I ever have a daughter I'll make sure she knows that whatever she looks like down there is absolutely perfect!
Thank you everyone for lifting this weight off me and, as I read, many other girls as well!!
Take care of your bodies, whatever they look like!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
i don't actually know what my "problem" is. i looked up pictures of enlarged labia and it looked like well... "me"?. it sorta "popped" out about a year ago when i was 11/12 (this is so embarrassing) but back then i didn't think it was different. you know i never talked about my "area" but as i've gotten older when i look in the mirror in underwear it looks like something like a bump underneath. i checked myself out completely the other night and i saw it i was like !! nooo. what in the world is that? i told my best friend (who is trust with my life) and she said she didn't have it so i knew then it was something 'different' because i am only young i haven't had any sexual interactions etc... but i'm worrying about future. i've tried to push it back in a few times and didn't work. its so ugly i don't want anyone to see it. i find it hard to hide though because of swimming lessons in school and on holiday, i feel like you can see the outline when i wear tight shorts for P.E. so i wear 'towels' to like flatten it out even when its not my time of the month. it causes no discomfort or pain i only notice it when i'm alone getting changed. it really brings my self esteem down, not like anyones going down there for a few years it still bothers me, i slipped it in a conversation with my mum earlier and she said try look it up. so i did and she told me to leave a while to see what happens. i finally got it off my chest but i still feel horrible about it.  can anyone suggest anyway to do something apart form surgery? ive been reading it happens to 50+ women and stuff but like i'm nearly 14 is this right? i would feel better if one of my friends had the problem too so i wouldn't feel alone. im a self concious person anyway and this is definately not helping me. i want to feel NORMAL!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am also one of those girls who have large inner labia.  And I also felt insecure about it when I was a young teen. Please understand it is not a "problem" or "abnormal" I am 18 now and my boyfriend and I have been together 4 years and recently moved in together.When we first started dating I was really nervous that he would not find it attractive. I think that most people feel this way for some reason or the other... Too large labia, too much hair, shape/color of nipples. Guys are just as guilty, they worry that they are too small or too hairy, uncircumsized or crooked. I found that my boyfreind was worried becuase he wasn't as big as the guys shown in pornos (even though he is normal sized) But now we kind of laugh about it, and it seems redictulous that we both felt insecure just becuase we aren't built like porn stars. But remember, porn stars are like models, about 2 percent of people actually look like them, so really they are the ones who aren't "normal"

Large labia are genetic, My sisters have them also, and the idea that large labia are caused by masterbating (masturbating) or anything else you do is redictulous, and not true.

I feel as if we are victims of hollywood's obsession with perfection, and it ***** during the teen age years becuase kids can be very mean, mostly out of ignorance, but as people grow up they mature and with that they learn to accept and appeciate themselves and others.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Don't worry, I'm 39 years old married twice, my labia minora is kind of big too  and like you when I was a teenager I thought I was deformed. Good news every woman is shaped different, if it doesn't help of affect you sexual relations is normal, that's what the doctor told me. Besides, men love it they said is exotic. Guys absolutely love that chunky part of me. So dont worry
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
im 14 and i have hanging labia minora, i dont remember when it started, i thought it was because i was materbating, i want to get rid of them without surgury, i actually wanted to cut them off myself, i know i should love my body and accept it, but i can't its disturbing.. i really want them gone! i dont want to tell my mum, because thats just awkward and i wouldn't know how to start the conversation with her either, i just want them gone... my boyfriend and his mates always talk about girls vagina's and who they've done sexual stuff with, and if i did sexual stuff, with my boyfriend he'll go and tell his mates, then ill get laughed at. how do i get rid of them???
Blank
1022857_tn?1251692343
hi
i want to konw  >> what is the natural size of labia minora' ??

2 sm  or  what ?
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I wish my wife had your labia minora.  Hers are very small, but I'd much prefer it if they were large.  

Keep what ya got!  I don't think you know how lucky you are!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
every vagina looks different. there is not "right" shape or color. people just prefer different ones. its like choosing blonde or brunette. If your boy friend doesnt mind then who cares??!! stop compairing your self with porn stars! they are fake fake fake!
as long as yours does the job and is clean and healthy, then it doesnt matter how it looks.
Btw, even men have this issue.. most guys have weird looking penises. some have it pointing to one side or the other.. some have it pointing upwards and some curved downwards. some have long thin ones or short thick ones.. they all vary. I doubt your boyfriend has a perfect looking penis. Dont judge your vagina because he is not judging his penis...
enjoy the sex but keep it safe! use a condom because there is nothing worse than getting an std.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Hi everyone. I am 35 and have had enlarged labia ever since my early teens. It has always bothered me, but never became an extreme issue until my last boyfriend. During particularly nasty fights I have endured comments such as, "shriveled up hamburger meat", "rooster thingies", "ball sack", "hermaphrodite", "shriveled up old man ****"......  I am now scheduled to have surgury on January eighth at the tune of $5,200. I will let you guys know how it goes!!!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi

its sounds embarrassing but i need a woman's advice,,im 26 years old now ,last 16 years ago i accidentally bump my vagina into a saddle seat area of a bicycle when i tried to sat on it, it is so painful and it bleeds and i noticed my labium has swollen,,i dont want to tell my mom coz i felt so stupid,,but now im so bothered because it doesnt look normal...,and the color of it is some kinda brown/gray  or darkened.

my ex saw it when we did have sex thrice and it was my first time doing it,it is so painful  thats why he didd'nt  inserted his whole P**** only the tip of it..and he did a withrawal.
so when we did break up he did kiss and tell it to his friends about my labia,,and nasty things about me..i was so depressed because of it..he even told me that im sterile,,
do enlarged and dark labia affect my motherhood in the future,of course every woman's dream is to have a baby someday ,,thats why i am so worried about it.
i dont know what to do, will i do the hot warm bath too??
before i consult a doctor can i possibly know your opinion?what it is?
by the way my menstrual is normal..its  just the labium size that i worried about,

pls help me

thanks
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I have the same larger labia, and have had three kids so lots of time in a gynecologists stirrups and he has never said that I had any problem down there.  I never really have been insecure with it just kind of curious if I was the only girl out there like this, but kind of figured I wasn't since the many different doctors never said anything to me about it.  I just have learned to adjust myself around in sex if it does get uncomfortable for me.  That guy was a jerk and you will find one who will love being with you no matter what, but if you have major pain during sex and are very concerned with idea of not being able to have kids you really should go see a gynecologists.  It isn't really that bad and the doctor could answer a lot of questions you have and anyways we girls are suppose to be getting yearly exams after 18 or whatever age you become sexually active.  BTW I am 30.

Hope this helps
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi and thank you for replying Blamommy,

Ive been waiting for feedbacks from my post..and you did make me feel  relieved.

i have this question,,before you have 3 kids do you already have this larger labia??or after your pregnancy?? i dont know why bumping my labia to a bike will cause the enlargement of it,,it is confusing,,because some of the reasons from google are from giving birth, puberty, inherited...but i cant find that an accident will cause of the enlargement..

i believe to myself im not sterile because my EX did'nt really push his thing inside me,,when im crying and hurting there. i also think my hymen is not yet broken,,i hope im still a virgin,,this time im giving it to the right one and to my future husband.and before i get married someday i want to clear my issues down there..it really stress my mind ,,so tomorrow my best friend (already a mother) will accompany me to  her trusted doctor,,honestly im so scared but i have to ,,for me  to save my life from being always worried and to prove to my ex that  im not disabled and have an injured vagina (he really is a jerk)

i will let you know what's the doctor's opinion after tomorrow..

thank you very much

and God bless!!!
Blank
1161702_tn?1277417331
I think you just have to learn to love your vagina...I try to learn to love everything about myself...and there is no certain way your vagina should look, because everyone is made different...
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi Sisters!!

I just had an external check up and a pelvic ultrasound a while ago....
i told the doctor about everything that happen to me...and she said that my labia is normal..its not warts,,its not cyst,,vaginas have different shape and colors she said..i also asked her if there are medicines, creams that will maybe lessen the large labia, she said none because it is part of my genital..i should not worried about it , and enjoy my life..there's a Guy that will love and accept me from who i am so i should trust  myself and live my life to the fullest...i dont have abnormalities to ovary,cervix,uterus,,,so she is sure i will be a MOm someday..
i asked her if she recommend surgery like labiaplasty,,she said its okay (will be confine 1 to 2 days)but why would i want it?,my labia is normal i should not be insecure she said...the pain from the sex is normal because im a virgin before we did it..but unfortunately a penis inserted inside the vagina is not a virgin anymore she explained,,(i was just hoping)...at least im ok , im normal,, and my worries are Gone,,,i even cried to my doctor because of the stress that brought it to me for 16 years..funny but its true..now im relieved..

so i hope this will help you a bit girls

God bless our Health!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
OMG!!!! I cannot believe what I'm reading! Are freakin crazy! I, and most guys and girls that I know - we love large labia! Love it, love it, love it! As a matter of fact - It's almost a must-have. It's so damned sexy and hott. It makes for great sex. Girl's  please don't let any guy tell you otherwise.
If you're young and inexperienced, please wait! You'll soon realize that you have a Diamond, and young guys are sometimes just intimidated - afraid that they don't know what to do with it.
I wish every woman had what you have!
And stop asking doctors, it's not a disease, it's art!
Ask real men!

A Black Man whom love Large Labia, ski slope boobs, and white women.
Muaaaahhh!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Hi, I am a woman who has had large labia, they were pink but quite large and uncomfortable, it affected my self esteem but did not stop me from loving sex, last year I had a labia plasty for under 1000 in a private hospital, it didnt hurt at all, I had no pain afterwards which I think is a miracle to be honest, I looked after the area very well afterwards, I have to say it was the best decision I ever ever made, i am so much more confident now and I didnt do it for a man I did it for me, I love my new vagina its not perfect but its soooo much better.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
my vgie looks like an uneven black brain and hangs down just enough to annoy the way top of my inner thighs, they look like shriveled up nut sacks that lost the majority of their sperm, Not to mention my clit is like a dark pink penis with no point (head) just a neck line and it's all very soggy looking to me. It all gets very plumped (completely enlarged) when aroused. looks as big as a ******* vgie. My ex that I feel was completely gay, said big thick and long la-bias like mine looked horrible, said he would rather have an butt hole in his face (so I farted on him...). Also he showed my naked body (video footage and pictures after drugging me) to my brother!!! My ex said I am ugly down there and everywhere, my brother always defends him and stares at me weird now, they showed my naked  body to all their mean friends and said nobody will ever want me...(  I feel so hopeless and undesirable. If a guy doesn't like the look of any vagina and would rather see a butt hole, does that mean he's gay?

Because everyone has an ***, but only real women have real vagina! Hope this makes everyone feel better, you are more beautiful than you think.. trust me. B^(

So confused and hurt.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi girl!!

i feel for you...i also experienced those harsh rude words from my EX,and spread about my labia to his friends and his present girlfriend w/c  is now pregnant ,and it came to the point that i want to kill myself because i felt so worthless as a woman..i was depressed and not eating anything for days after i knew what he did..
but when  i consult a doctor about my labia and tell me im a normal woman,,im enlightened and felt good..you see a guy like our Ex's are the one who's worthless,,,they dont know the meaning of love,,,they  should love us because of what we are  and not because of our vagina...and im sure they will receive their karma soon..they are the true gays of this society...no real man will do and say such things ...ungentlemen guys are the true gays for me...so cheer up girl...

i hope you feel better
Blank
1198364_tn?1265200603
to all thats posted, thankyou for sharing your experiences.

i was always a bit prudish with any oral sex, i cant remember when my labia "popped out", i was always embarrassesed about my downstairs and quite shy in bed.
when i was 17 i had my 1st child, a natural birth but i tore, and needed stitches, i cant remember what my lips looked like before i had my baby, never really looked before i had him, but now 1 flap >.< is longer than the other,
im married now, and have 4 kids in total, the last 3 were born by c section so didnt pass the normal way :)

i agree with all the comments about labias being varied and like noses or other features all are different, but even now at 31 years old i still tuck mine in and have a look to see what they would look like if i looked like a "normal" porn star hahah! :p

to the younger girls, dont feel ashamed about yourself, if you have a boyf and he disrespects you because of your lady bits he is SO not worth knowing and you should kick him to the curb big time.

ive been wondering for ages if mine are normal... cant afford surgery, dont really want to ask my mates about theres, so its nice to find this forum.

in conclusion all i'd like to add, is that my husband loves me, lady bits and all and absolutly loves oral sex, which makes me feel confident that if he loves it that much they must be a turn on, right.

anyway lifes too short to beat yourself up about eye colour, boob size, spots, stretch marks, and flaps.
enjoy your life, live while your young, dont hurt anyone along the way, be good and you will have a happy confident life. xxx
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i am 40-something and since i hit puberty i had large, dark protruding inner lips.  i was told i was "different" by many men and a couple of ob-gyn's!
i was tormented and humiliated and felt so undesirable by men. they stare at porn for hours.  most of those women have surgeries to reduce there labia minora.  and i have always felt that men have some sort of perversion for a female genitalia that resembles that of a childs!!
anyway, a few years ago i found out about Betty Dodson.  Google her.  She set me straight!!!  it's not ugly or abnormal to have different shape, color, texture, inner lips!!  vulva's are all different and all beautiful and NEVER let anyone tell you differently!  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Im so happy i found this.
Mine is exactly the same. It sticks out and got darker.
I dont recall it happening but i hate it.
I am only 15 and i have got series with my boyfriend.
We have only done oral but im scared for him to touch me or anything.
Because most teenage boys watch porn what if he expects me to be perfect pink and small.
Im really nervous. What if rumours spread.
Its easy for men to say they dont mind, but a 16 year old has a different view. someone please help!!
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I am a guy who absolutely loves (giving) oral sex. I spend a lot of time down there, and although my relationships have all lasted a long time which cuts down on the number of woman I've been with, I can confidently say that I've been with my share of woman. I can tell you as a lover of vaginas (of all shapes, colors, and sizes); my preference would be larger (in any way; ie: puffy, long, hanging, swollen, whatever) labia minoras. Maybe it's just an oral thing, but there is nothing better than going down on a woman with a large labia minora. The larger, the more attractive and desired.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I commented on this subj earlier today, and since then, I've talked to several of my male friends. We are all in agreement (out of the 11 guys I asked today) we all love your vajay-js no matter what shape they are; however, the preference for all of them is larger labia minoras. I asked my friends to clarify just to be sure they understood what the labia minora is (you'd might be surprised to know how little most of us guys know about your parts), and they all described the perfect labia minoras as ones that hang/stick out of the labia majoras when not spread apart. Different colors ara also preferred; whether it looks like someone spit out a piece of hubba-bubba, or folded up roast beef...it is ALL good.

Please ladies, stop feeling self-conscience or negative about your larger than what you think are normal labia minoras. If your guy doesn't like them the way they are, (PLEASE) don't get an operation, just get a new guy.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I agree with Florida PI if you look at people on the whole we are all self concience and think of it this way if we all were identical wouldn't life be boring? I have dated  quite a few women of different decents and each one was unique and not just down there. Every person is different and if some guy is quirked by you not looking like what he expected  then drop the freak because he is evidently selfish, judgemental and there is probably not enough room for you in a relationship with him because the world revolves around him. I can understand where large lips may be uncomfortable in tight clothing but as for being self concience well please dont be. most of the men I know are turned on by a woman that has a muffin wether the muffin has one inner lip larger than the other does not matter to most men, as for the boys that point their finger and make fun of you well they are just that a boy, so do you want to be with a boy or a man? Most men that are interested in pleasing their mate intimately will not care if things are not perfectly symetrical, they are interested in being with their partner and pleasing their partner. If the guy has a hang up let him own his hang up and walk away, dont own it, it is not your issue to own, it is his. Besides people that are fast to point the finger usually are insecure about their own sortcomings and cause a direction for attention so that they are not the focal point. no one is perfect, some men have one testical smaller than the other, some have just one some have 3 ( tight underwear must not be fun) so please remember if someone is making you feel inadequate walk away, he is not worth your time, life is short to settle with a s&*thead. As some have pointed out what you feel is ditractive others find attractive in you. So unless you are vain, remember everyone is self concience of themselves about something. There is nothing more rewarding to a man than to see his partner with that relaxed glazed eye look when they let go during that moment and he also knows that his partner will take care of him for his kindness. A boy in a mans body may never get to that level so why waste your time? Walk away and let yourself find the partner you deserve.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm a 21 year old male with an extensive sexual background. Not to sound conceited or make myself sound cooler, but I feel that I'm a very attractive guy, 6' 3", dark hair, turquoise eyes: everything. But I too fit into the pool of "I'm too small." This is parallel to your thinking of your labia being too ugly or large. Honestly, I LOVE large labia. Without the labia, the vulva just isn't the same to me. I grew up learning the sexual anatomy and technique through high quality pornographic material. Basically, this type of pornography lead myself to believe I'm very insufficient in bed, in bodily shape, and in sexual technique. The media stuns our own sexual appreciation and realization. As a result, even if we didn't view pornography on our own, our peers when we're young often speak FOR the media and make us feel even worse. As a guy, especially a young one, who still obsesses about the body-centered sexual behavior instead of the person-centered behavior, I feel it's better to worry about your emotional health and keeping your love for someone than to worry about what you look like. The best sex I've had is with my close, meaningful relationships. And I can honestly say, other men even worse looking than I have admitted they don't find them that attractive, but to me, they are the most gorgeous and sexiest women I've ever met; they stole my heart.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Im 15 and feel like i am abnormal. I have a relationship and the boy went and told everyone i had a 'ham'. People would stare and laugh and now i ahve lost all my confidence and have not had a relationship since. I have no confidence i avoid realtionships and i avoid body talks,. I have seen 4 doctors now each of who will not send me to a gynocologist as i am 'normal' I know we should love our bodies but i feel so emotionally and physically down about it all. I have tried DIY surgery, trust me never again. I really, really need some advice. I have lost all my conidence. I feel so down about it and really want a good decent relationship with someone who understands me, it seems i never will. Please help me. :(

Emja
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I have the same problem. It all started when I was young. One day, I went to the bathroom and when I looked down, I saw it. I started to freak out because I thought it wasn't normal. I kept it from my mother for years and never told her the truth because she always mad a huge deal about these things. In other words, I was embarrassed. I remember when I was in health class one day and we had to learn the female anatomy. Just seeing the picture of the anatomy made me feel insecure because that's not how mine looked. However,  later in years I found out what I'm experiencing is normal and it happens to many females.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
hey, i am 17 years old and i also i this 'problem' i noticed it when i was about 9 and ever since its been drving me crazy , i hate it andi really dont want it looking the way it does , its not small, its rather large , i dont find it nice looking at all. and if i dont think how is a guy supoised to . i just wanna know if this it commen for alot of girls or if onyl the odd one gets it. its always on my mind and i dont think it ever will.i just wanta noraml looking one. if never told anyone about this ever! i really want to but im scared what illbe told back.iv been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and hes never said anything about it but iv never asked him so i dont know. i just dont get why it looks the way it does. i mean im scared if one day me and my boyfriend break up ill be to nervou and scared to be with anyone else because i dont think guys like it , id like to remove it but i dont think i an afford it. i wish i had a friedn with the same problem, i dont kno if i do cause iv never asked, but i just feel as if im wrose. and some guys might like what there seeing with my cloths on but once there off they might get wrosed out :(  .
i just want to have a nice virg. it really bothers my selfasteam and it has snice iv been 9 years old. anyone know what i should do ?
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Aright, listen. This goes out to all you girls and women.
I'm 23 and male. I've talked about this stuff with the guys. You wanna know what's up? Here's what's up:

Some guys do make fun of this or that type of vulva appearance. "Dude, her inside ones were huge! They hung out all gross and blah blah blah." That's just an example too; pick pretty much anything about what you have between your legs right now and I guarantee you some guy in the first three decades of his life has told someone he doesn't like it in the last week somewhere on earth.

Now think of how many total jerks you meet. There's a world full of them out there. If one said that that show you like ***** or that new pencil you got isn't cool or that your brand new first car was a piece of junk, would his opinion matter in the slightest. Ignore those jerks, they don't know squat.

Keep yourself clean and hygenic, whatever that means for you. (Doctors recommend against douche, but I'm not gonna tell you what to do with your body) Past that, chill out. Don't get surgery, don't obsess. Here's why:

Out of all guys I've talked to about the topic of vaginal appearance, I can think of a couple people who said anything about someone's vaginal appearance being an important turnoff. Moreover, the few I can think of were idiot people who will say anything at a party or in a group to get some attention.

"But I'm really scared because this and that blah blah..."

Listen, if you're convinced it's some kind of disease, ask a doctor. Believe me, the doctor has been asked far more embarrassing things, even if it's a male doctor. Odds are the doctor will walk away feeling really good about having been asked, because most doctors love dispelling hurtful myths about stuff like this.

"But I itched it or I injured it or it just popped out one day and....."

The appearance changes as your hormones change in your growing process. You don't have that kind of control over the appearance of your vulva. Injuring it could change the appearance, but it'd hafta be pretty severe; the body is pretty good about healing stuff up in that area. To actually affect the size and/or shape of your stuff, you'd hafta repeatedly and regularly stretch it over a long period of time (like months, so don't come in with "I played with it for an hour, did I break it?")

"You seem like a nice guy. Tell me what kinds you like so I can judge myself against them."

(Okay, maybe that's giving me too much credit, but here we go...)

I don't have a preference. I prefer whatever appearance my current committed sexual partner has. I am attracted to confident women who acknowledge that a relationship is a continual battle to improve ourselves and each other, to learn, grow, and become better people and partners. That said, here's the skinny:
My current gf (of 8 months) has just about middle of the road size in all her vulva's features. She shaves herself down there and has for years. It turns her on and she thinks it makes cleaning up after a period easier. If you wanna try it, look up stuff online about it; IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU WANNA MESS UP. My gf only shaves every couple days and lets it grow stubbly in between to avoid ingrown hairs.

My previous gf had very small everything. She didn't shave, and her hair naturally just stayed in the bikini area. Her clitoris was so small that even with everything pulled up and open as far as possible and even with her aroused (which increases the size, if you didn't know) it was barely the size of a pin's head. Also, she had little bit of a mustache going on. She was super-embarrassed about that. She thought she was the only girl in the world who had dark hair growing from her upper lip! Chill out, ladies, that stuff happens. If you have it, odds are your mom or some other female family member does too. Just ask what they do about it. Serious. You could try goin online, but there's a lotta crazy stuff out there online.

My first gf had a pretty big clitoris, and her hair would grow down to merge with her leg hair a little. One of her labia was kinda medium size and only stuck out a little when everything was all closed up. The other was much larger, curled, and dark gray. She was SUPER self-conscious about it. I was totally stoked, both to have the privilege to see it and to have the opportunity to make her feel better. She eventually asked her doctor about it, and it was nothing. That's just how she looked. Also, she always wore boardshorts with her swimsuits and was super-ashamed that her hair didn't just stop at the margin of her bikini. I said "why do you think they sell so many of those bikini trimmers, silly person!" I also said "You don't gotta change it for me, but if you wanna change it for YOU, I'll help you look into it." She eventually tried shaving the whole thing for a while, then started keeping some because it was too labor intensive.  

I was very sexually attracted to all of these women. Take oral sex advice from watching porn, not what-should-I-look-like advice. Well, maybe not even that. Also, especially not duration-of-sex advice. Average desired sex duration for guys and gals from insertion to completion is something like 8-10 mins. That's with the foreplay though. Seriously, seriously, STOP WORRYING. Your hair's gonna fall out.

Wanna be attractive? Eat healthy most of the time. Get exercise a couple times a week. Have interests you're passionate about and pursue them. Make yourself into the person you want to be. These are the most important things for attracting the right guy. It'll just sort of happen. I promise. This other stuff? Doesn't matter.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have a longer labia minora too and I thought it was weird at first cause I'd look at playboy bunnies and they just looked kinda sucked in and then mine protuded out of my outer lips but I've learned to live with my vagina and during oral sex...
trust me, I think a longer  minora is better cause it feels so ******* gooood and such a turn on when a guy ***** on it. haha
I've always kind of thought it has resembled a flower and i've noticed mmine changes with arousal it will turn a bright pink-reddish coloor and normally it's a lighter pink and i've learned to find it beautiful, and i'm different as well... we all are so never worry about it being ugly.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I also have long inner labia but mine are kind of pale which makes me worry because I think they should have some color. They have been that way since puberty. I was very self conscience about it for a very long time. But I have learned to accept myself the way I am. They do get in the way sometimes and it kind of hurts when I wear something tight cause it pulls on the skin. I have thought about surgery in the past but it is too expensive and I think the vagina doesn't look natural after surgery. My husband used to tell me stuff about it when he was mad  at me but now that he has erectile dysfunction he stopped  noticing my flaws.  So I told him you see, no one is perfect.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I'm also 15 years old and im gettin ready to start the dating thing. I have always been the girl that stays away from guys because I always got nervous and shy around them, because I've always had self esteem problems. now i am doing better and i am going to start talking to this guy and I am just scared that once he sees my labia minora he wont like it or he'll tell everyone about it because I have a large one. im a virgin and im just kinda scared all together. help ne one?
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
just gotta say i've got this problem and it got to the stage i did try and cut it off with scissors, just gonna say DONT TRY AND CUT IT OFF a pain shot through my whole body and i've never experienced any more pain, luckily i didn't experience any scarring and it went back to how it was before, i would love more than anything to have surgery and thats the first thing i will do when i'm 18 and have money, all you men can say how much you love it and stuff? but really i'm fourteen and at fourteen till like eighteen all that is 'supposedly' perfect and i've come close to sexual experiences but always pretended i'm on my period or something to avoid it, but yeah completely agree with you all, just gotta say, more than anything just don't try cutting it off :(
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I too have one longer inner labia lip. My problem isn't that I think my neathers aren't beautiful, but the longer lip is constantly rubbing on my panties or outter labia and it's incredibly painful!!! I've had to give up a significant amount of physical activity (like running and soccer) and its getting to the point where it hurts just to walk...I don't know what to do short of surgury...please help! This is ruining my life but I can't stand the idea of mutilating my genitals!
Blank
1433225_tn?1283417999
You all need to worry about any of your different female sex (outer &/or inner organs shape or look, because the most important thing is:
1. The health (standard skin health).
2. The function (urinoir dispenser, reproductive, pleasure).
3. The maintenance (standard health management according to the area's condition).
4. The aplication (serving the only husband is the safest to avoid STD, HIV, AIDS, & damage due to extreme use).

Every nature creation, including in genetic factors, must have special aim. Nothing is 100% similar.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Ok... this makes me feel a lot better. I'm 17 and had never really looked down there. I've done everything with a guy except sex.... one of mine is bigger than the other and darker (not by a lot, but still). i showed it to my two very close girl friends and they told me that it looked nothing like theirs which made me want to stay a virgin for life. after reading this i feel a little better, but i'm still really humiliated by it. to me it looks sooo disgusting and i don't want to let it affect my sex life in the future :( will it keep growing, and  if so is there any way to stop it!?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Im 22 I have long labia that sticks out quite abit! ive been really insecure about it for years now!  I know it sounds weird but i always try too tuck them in! especially when im about to have sex with my partner.
It upsets me to think what my partner thinks of them..weve never spoken about it but put it this way he doesnt like going down on me much and he hardly ever touches it.
i really want surgery but i cant afford it :( i know all my friends havnt got long labias for a fact! and i dont personally know anyone who does which upsets me more...is it a rare thing or are their alot of girls who have it too?
it rubs on my clothes and everything and i get thrush and water infections alot which i think is down to it. has anyone had the op and how did they feel about it afterwards?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I personally think it looks gross. And very uncomfortable at times. Your insurance is more likely to cover the surgery if it's for health reasons, rather than cosmetic. Go to your gyno and tell them how painful it is. GET SURGERY and stop complaining about your ugly vaginas. I'm not saying they aren't 'normal'.  I am saying you can make them prettier. All these people saying to love yourself for who you are are annoying. It's like listening to a fat person saying they love the way they look. They are lying! You don't like the way you look and neither does anyone else. Put down the donut and go to the gym.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
you are seriously a jackass. for one vaginas really aren't "pretty" to begin with...and for two people who are BORN with a larger labia minora is a little different from people being lazy and getting fat. if you are seriously telling fat people to get up and go to the GYM but telling people with a large labia to have surgery, you could have at least suggested the fat people to get liposuction since surgery is obviously the answer for everything to you, you nitwit. no one gives a crap about your rude oppinion or wheather you like the looks of it...quit acting like your simple minded opinion matters here.obviously you are the one who isn't satisfied with the way YOU look or else you wouldn't take the time to cut down others.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
You should check out sexylabia.com and scarletteen.com. It has articles and pics for girls/women who have questions about what's "normal". The sites are completely safe. One of them also helps explain why Playboy photoshops their pics. Hope this helps
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Girl :) it's okay. I have a large labia minora too, I think it's ugly too... Cause all these girls I've ever seen have smaller ones, while mine is large.. But just embrace it. You were born with it and aren't the only one with it :)
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
im 15 and honestly i can say it wasn't till like i was 11 when i realized something "isn't right" my labia minora just popped out and i wasn't really concerned about it till i got about 14 and now 15 and yes i am sexually  active but it took me a long time to build up some courage to undress in front of my patener and when i did he didn't seem to notice we've been together for a yr now and he recently asked if he could go down on me but im not sure bc my labia minora is slighty large but pink lol....i did ask him what his opinons were about me down there and he said he liked me just they way i was and he wouldn't change anything about my body tht i was BEAUTIFUL!!  he wants to go down on me but i dnt kno i mean he has fingered me and i lost my virginty to him so should i just build up the confidence i did whn we were having sex and whn he was fingering me and let him go down!!!.... i've thought about getting surgery down there but not sure i mean it does hurt sometimes depends on wht activity i do...my partener is moving soon and long distance relationships don't work im just afraid i won't find another guy who excepts and apperciates my body just the way it is!!!!!
Blank
1563919_tn?1295117682
when a girl is confident and acts like she is hot and sexy.. then what ever i see is hot and sexy.  CONFIDENCE is attractive!   from this guy (26M) i can tell u once i'm physically attracted to a girl, then " IN LIKE" wit her personality, i'll b happy to b intimate wit her.. but its always more fun when she is confident and treats herself w/ respect.    if u feel sumthing negative from US (guys) its not ur cream pie but it might be how you serve it!!     pink or brown large or small it doesnt matter @ all
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I too have very large labia minora about 2" long.
My issue is that they cause me so much pain.
I became very aware of them when I started having sex in my teens.
I am now in my 30s, married to a wonderful husband that loves my whole body and my large labia minora.

I think that in general most men love all types and sizes of vaginas but are most likely not even thinking about the size of your vagina.  
Men love your entire body.
Also remember that a man's penis and balls can come in many shapes and sizes too.
Men are more concerned about pleasing you and making you feel good, that's usually their main goal.

But I understand your pain.
I do think that if your labia minora hurt like mine from hanging out then you should have Labiaplasty.
Though I think it's ridiculous that insurance companies won't cover this procedure because it's under cosmetic surgery.
Sometimes having that extra exposed sensitive skin hanging out can be very painful.
My labia minora get caught in tampons, my jeans rub on them, lace underwear causes irritation and swelling, walking, running and even sex can be painful.
A good example is like having your tongue hanging out of your mouth and you can't put it back in so your tongue gets dry, itchy and irritated.
Having large labia is kind of like that too. The natural vaginal juices that come out, can't moisturize that loose hanging skin therefore they get dried out become very painful.

I think that if your labia cause you servere physical or even pyscological pain then you should get it handled by surgery. I plan to have it, I wish I had found out about this surgery earlier in my life, instead of trying to deal with this pain everyday for the last 15 plus years.
Just like a woman who has large breasts that cause back pain might have reduction surgery.
If it's something that bothers you so much and causes pain, then you should talk to someone about your options so you can live the rest your life a happy and confident person.
After all it is your life!!





Blank
Avatar_m_tn
ok folks, I just went to the doc this past week and he even commented that mine are getting longer. I am 42 and my kids are 19 and 21 and I cannot figure out why they have all of a sudden decided to start getting bigger and he could not answer me either, at first I thought it was my imagination but apparently not. I have been with the same GYN since I was 17 so he knows what I look like down there.  He said he can fix it cause I may need to have surgery for something else and while he's there it can be taken care of.  My husband says he is in no way bothered by it and unless they pinch in my panties they dont bother me, but I do think they are ugly and basically I look like I have a pair of dried up testes down there.  They were always longer but this is rediculous.  I am so annoyed with my body for turning on me.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
It seems to me that most men like large labias and find it very sexy, while we (women) want them to be small. I wonder why...I can only relate to myself and since I´m bisexual and have been with quite a few women sexually I know what I prefer. I like them small...my own aswell as my girlfriends. Large labias scare me for some reason. I don´t think it´s attractive. I wish I could say otherwise...I´m thinking that I´ve probably been influenced by porn from a very early age and therefor feel more familiar to "that look". Goes to show how damaging porn can be for young girls since it gives us the wrong image of what is normal and what is not. I´m now 30 but I remember when I was a teen...for the longest time I didn´t think I looked normal. I had nothing to compare myself with but to the girls I´d seen in porno movies and magazines. It was not until internet came along and I started dating girls that I realised there was nothing abnormal about me. But it was very destructive to have these thoughts about my own vagina for so many years, and so unnecessary. And still as you can see, I´m stuck with this opinion that small labia is prettier...
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Guys, ive come to help you out! i'm fifteen and ive been troubled with this since i was about twelve, however this is not because there both long it is because one is normal and one hangs down by about an inch (i hate it) and i cried about it alot, i tried to cut it off with scissors, and didnt feel normal but then the reason i was most upset is becasue it was starting to cause pain, i thought nothing could be done so i didnt want to say anything but after about a year of pain i told my mum and she was so supportive, however i still thought nothing would be done about it, so she took me to the doctor and he said he didnt need to look and i would be sent to a gycologist or something at the hospital which was local as doctors dont know much about it. I went to her about a week ago and i dont think ive ever been so scared! however i went in and she was nice and shes seen so many so im not embaressed (this was on NHS) but she had a look and said that surgery would benefit me alot. she said mine was more of a skin tag but she said in general there very careful as to who gets it as they dont want to give it for cosmetic reasons. she said that it would be good for me though and she said i can have it in 6-8 weeks (not long at all) and its a very simple operation which would be over in a morning in hospital, she said the risks were extremely low however women are sometimes not happy as there vaginas still arent 'perfect' enough but if you want your idea of perfect you'd have to pay. she said i wouldnt be able to do sport for two weeks but and the stitches dissolve away, has anyone had it done who can tell me what its like? and also i dont want to tell my friends so anyone got any ideas what to tell them? you may all say your vagina is beautiful but i could never acept that and i know that i'd never be happy so for me just leaving it and trying to love it was not the answer x
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I have been in the same boat all my life!  I was very unsure of myself in sexual situations because I was embarrassed.  Then I found my husband who is extremely turned on by me, just the way I am.  I found confidence and he loves that even more!  That's the way you were made and my advice is learn to love it!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hey i also have the same prob as you. I also feel ugly, but once i have read of ya'll comments i feel somehow much better. thanx girls
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
yes sweetie there is.Your issue is completely normal. I have had the same issues since i was 14 and never let anyone go there. I am married now and it is still hard for me to open up because I feel like he is just looking at it in disqust and it would just kill me to think he was repulsed by me. But.,,I did alot of research and you can take my word for it or research it your self. There have been studies, blogges and articles writtin on this. My conclusion of every since one I have read...which were alot!  It was always the same answer, Men dont care what your vagina looks like, large lips, small lips, brown or pink, they are just so happy to get in there, they dont care about it. This is about your insecurity and the good thing about that is...it is curable. fake it till you make it.Just as I did. Put on some confidence, and let him explore you with your eyes blindfolded the first time. ask him to go from head to toe and tell you what he loves about you. Then you will hear how he feels and it will give you some reassurance that your vagina is beautiful to him because its YOURs!
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Women are different just like their bodies no two are exactly the same.
You use Adult magazines and videos as the "measure up reference here,
it isn't the best of reference guides because of airbrushing and photo shop
make the imperfect look perfect. Now as far as videos are concerned these
women are chosen for their photogenic qualities and not just necessarily facial
looks,  boobs and butts. They are even scored on the presentibility of their
vaginas,labia and *****,(Read cheeks and orifices,Too) This is an unfair evaluation
media because they are culled like sheep and chickens because of this very
situation. Being an objective male in touch with the feelings of my partners I have
experienced the Artist's palette that includes Labia major and minor. My knowledge
shows that women like wine get better with age.  Now Labia minora or the inner
lips are affected in many ways. Childbirth, age, medical instances, exercise. Yes
I said exercise. Any time you move that muscle or muscles you are exercising
the muscles around,near and within the PC  region Large labia are a blessing in
some cases and a bane in others. The hindrance happens when sexual activity
occurs these areas become extremely engorged with blood and very sensitive to
touch. Larger Labia sometimes get in the way of successful sexual expression.
Huh? what is he saying? Yes ,they can get pulled into the vagina and cause pain
irritation and  the inability to enjoy sexual penetration. Lubrication is the key here.
A dry vagina is like making it on the beach in a wind storm.
Discoloration comes with activity, the more you use it the more it changes
it's color. These tissues can get bruised, even scarred  from vigorous
activity. Using sexual aids can cause scarring and lack of sensitivity
Too much of a good thing can make the real thing a bad thing.  But in the
long run, all in all the female vagina is a work of art. None are ugly, just
each has it's individual beauty. Keep looking down, it isn't an embarrassing
thing to do. Be aware of any changes, these are signs of things going on
within your body albeit good or bad.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I'm facing the same problem , i'm 16 years old and for as long as i can remeber i've noticed that my labia minora is alot larger and looser than usual , it is very wrinkly and saggy . i feel so embarresed about this that i insist on having sex in the dark and try as hard as i can to make sure that my boyfriend doesn't see it , although he already has done and  says he loves me the way i am , i still feel really insecure about it , i dont know what to do , i don't think i could continue like this as it's beggining to ruin my boyfriends and my sex life . i've heard about the Labiaplasty surgories  but haven't got any idea about the costs . I dont know what to do or who to talk to about it . I Need help x x
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I'm also 15 and have the same problem. when my ex-boyfriend wanted to have sex with me, I felt uncomfortable 'cos based on what i have seen on some porn sites, theirs are soooooo like in a normal size. I was feeling so insecure that time (til now, rather). I told him about my habit when i was like, 10-11 years old, i think, my vagina's so itchy those days and i think it caused my loose labia minora. He said that it was a turn-off for him. And I just let it go. Anyway, after I read the comments, I was so relieved. I'll just embrace mine and be thankful for it. :)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
wow the same thing these girls were saying was my problem since age 7-8 and up... i first noticed this when i would masturbate, i was molested by a family friend and only 3 people knows this not even my mom knows this... so growing up i thought it was my fault and thought this wasn't normal.... i hid it for years and then in 2008 i got sexually abused and was choked and beatened nearly to death which made me even more self conscious about myself... recently i found this site after breaking down to my boyfriend of 1 yr and 6 mnths which lives in Jamaica that i have something to tell him but i was too embarrassed which was the most secretive that i dealt with for years.... i finally told him that one of my labia is larger than the other and i never felt better and like an understanding boyfriend he told me he understands and loves it :D so girls don't be to hard on yourself  
Blank
1676952_tn?1304527910
im fifteen aswell and i too was very self consious about my labia too. but after going on various websites (************.com) and other health blogs like this i feel so much more confident and normal
on my first gyno app i asked if it loked normal she explained there basically is no normal but she said that there nothing wrong with me .you are beautiful the way you are :)

and to all the large labia loving men .i love you ;) mwa
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
ok, im 13 years old and have the same problem it itches sometmes its a little purple and it hangs but i thought it was frm masturbating because im a virgin. i know that theres something to help it guys because one girl said that she used a cream and it no longer hangs so theres something out there guys and if NOT I THINK ITS TIME WE ALL START ACCEPTING OURSELVES FOR WHO WE ARE IM STARTING TO BUT IF THIS CREAM REALLY works ill be so happy..
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I doubt it will honey. Changing yourself isn't that easy - it may just hurt you and possibly give yourself an allergic reaction if your skin doesn't agree with the cream and it isn't perscribed.

I think all of this talk of changing vaginas isn't healthy. We are women and come in all shapes and sizes, and they are all beautiful. It's hard to digest that you look different than they do in the porn mags but everyone does. The media propogates a look that none of us can attain. The style is to have a vagina that looks like a baby's. All tucked inside, shaven etc. That's not cool.

And the idea of a surgery personally makes me cringe. If it brings physical discomfort then maybe medical proceeding can be looked into for your beautiful labia, to stop pain. But simply because you think it "looks weird" is a product of a society that doesn't celebrate women's bodies. And we should. These conversations should be more regularly had in more public areas.

I'm trying to learn to love my vagina as it is. Each and every part and that's what we should be doing. Especially the younger ones on here. The fact that you even have to post here rather than talk to your mothers is crazy. I know it's hard to take but unless you're in physical pain your vagina is NORMAL and most likely HEALTHY and many guys have already posted that they like them - any shape way or form.

Seriously, beautiful. Like flowers and butterflies. All you have to do is let yourself believe the truth.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
You know this is what you were born with, and it's what God gave you. If some guy has a hang up with what your vagina looks like that's their problem. It's nothing to be ashamed of, they come in all different shapes and sizes, and there's nothing to be ashamed of. There's no need for surgery to make it look different, just keep what you have.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I stumbled upon this site looking for advice about a whole different issue! My labia minora are small and I actually feel like I look like a small child! I shave all of my hair off there because I feel so much more comfortable and clean, but sometimes I feel like the inner lips should be bigger. My boyfriend says he loves them small, but when we watch porn together, he does get turned on by the girls with bigger lips, so I guess it just don't matter either way with most guys so we all just need to stop worrying and learn to be happy with what we have!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Sure do.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Seems like people are lightening their vaginas these days. I have never heard of such a thing, but I guess it would be on topic. Seriously...

http://www.******.com/vaginal-bleaching.html
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Luckily there's a fix for the discoloration... There's this cream called divine derreire...it's a do it yourself bleaching product && it's specifically made for down there..when I found out about this I was like who in there right mind would do that..but I've been using it for about 3 years now & it's my favorite product in the world..it only took like between 3days && a week && my vagina was so pretty && pink...my boyfriend loves it..it's completely safe and its under $50 it comes with a body wash as well for down there..it's the best && it's made me a million times more confident it bed..I have no problems showing him now..if you'd like before && after photos for u only tho lol as a woman I'd be happy to show u..message me I hope u try this out it's my life saver:)
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Yes, I always thought mine were too big.  when I close my legs, a little bit comes out.  Now I've come to think it's cute, so does my boyfriend.  It just makes you feel so insecure with all these ads of Labia Minora surgeries to "fix" it.  Yeah, right, I do not want to be mutilated.  Give it up for the thick labia girls....Hoot Hoot!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I also used to work at a strip club and saw allllllllll....Yes, there were some like mine and I thought it looked cute.  unless it is painful, would leave things be.   My guy likes different things...Like I will let it (hair) grow out like the 70s, change it up.  He's down, like something different.  It's TOTALLY normal, trust me!!!!!!  maybe even better!!!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Eww, I was reading this, and I think the men that say crude things about his girl's vagina is a loser... She can find any guy who will think she has the BOMB DIGGADY
Blank
1750871_tn?1311939080
I must say, I am pretty glad to have found this website and read through almost all comments. I have been dealing with this insecurity for about 7 years (The odd size of my labia minora) and have often cried about it because it happened after a traumatic molestation, which I figured was the cause of this. I am 17 year old now, and it has taken me this long to gain enough courage to search this. I have always wanted to have the chance to talk it out, but I have always felt too embarassed to mention it even to my best of friends. This issue has always made me to insecure around perfectly good guys I have come across and made me lose my chance. I now have a boyfriend whos going off to the Marines soon, due to my convincing myself that I deserve a bit of happiness too, dont I? Thank you all for writing your similar stories and for your positive thinking. I am happy to know Im not alone after all!
Blank
1750871_tn?1311939080
I must say, I am pretty glad to have found this website and read through almost all comments. I have been dealing with this insecurity for about 7 years (The odd size of my labia minora) and have often cried about it because it happened after a traumatic molestation, which I figured was the cause of this. I am 17 year old now, and it has taken me this long to gain enough courage to search this. I have always wanted to have the chance to talk it out, but I have always felt too embarassed to mention it even to my best of friends. This issue has always made me to insecure around perfectly good guys I have come across and made me lose my chance. I now have a boyfriend whos going off to the Marines soon, due to my convincing myself that I deserve a bit of happiness too, dont I? Thank you all for writing your similar stories and for your positive thinking. I am happy to know Im not alone after all!
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I Dunno what a Labia Minora is? But I'm kinda worried about the things around the hole,I'm only just turned 13 and I can remember them being itchy when I was about 10, so I just played with it to get rid of the itchyness but Now I regret it 'cause the left side is a LOT longer than the right side, I'm really embarassed because all my friends are talking about sex, and So is my boyfriend, But I can't talk to anyone about this cause I'd be too embarassed :/ Please Help. Anyone, I Read this forum and It's re-assured me quite a lot but I wasn't sure if It's normal for someone My age? Thankyou
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I have the exact same problem! I'm 18 and so insecure about it! no matter how many blogs or articles I read about how it's normal....I just feel that when I start being sexual active that my partner will find it atrocious...and nothing seems to change my mind that my labia minora is normal!  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
have the same exact problem which makes me so self conscious. I been going out with my boyfriend for a year and six months. I recently lost my virginity, and had sex with him four times after that but I position the labia so he wont feel it . He hasn't noticed, at least he hasn’t said anything but we no longer have sex due to how uncomfortable I feel  and its putting a lot of stress in our relationship. , I wont let me touch me or go down on me due to this. I don’t want him to get turned off. And get disgusted. I don't think its normal and its gets so uncomfortable.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
What you describe is not in the least bit abnormal. Large vaginal lips are fairly common. Men tend to love them. If they cause discomfort or pain, they can be 'trimmed' during outpatient procedure, but I would never reccommend that. Mine protrude about 4 cm from my vulva, but I have accepted it, and my husband actually prefers my anatomy. We are both in our fifties and have a great sex life.

I think the media, advertisers, and 'hollyweird' are largely to blame for this bold-faced LIE that there is some standard of beauty or normality to which all of us should be compared. It makes me angry that normal, healthy girls and women cannot feel good about their bodies because of this .

If you will look at the number of females in the above thread alone speaking about this fear, it seems highly UNlikely that you are in a minority. Get to a doctor and please don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask him. Just don't feel bad about the way you are.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm a man who knows lots of other guys. Suffice to say, men LOVE women with large labia.  It fact, the ones that hang out are more of a turn on by far. Most people engage in oral sex to some degree.  Men are very "visually" oriented and when we see the labia protruding, it's an incredible view.  The more it is visible, the more we are turned on.  I mean, think about it.  We love to see women's private parts. I assure you, a man who says something negative is in the minority.  Maybe he's even a bit strange because a woman with just a "slit" (especially shaven) looks like a little girl. That's not a turn on for normal men. Normal guys like young, pretty girls with protruding labia we can suck or nibble on when we get down there. It's just way more interesting and I KNOW I speak for the masses.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
There is NO POSSIBLE way one sexual encounter or molestation could cause your labia to be "abnormal" down there unless there was severe mutilation (eg: cutting, etc) involved.  You probably became aware of the specific shape because you noticed yourself down there (or maybe the person made remarks about your genitalia) making you suddenly aware of what you looked like.  Again, this actually provides evidence that men LIKE the lips to be very visible.  I feel bad this happened to you, but rest assured that lips that stick out, are curvy or wrinkly....or are just real visible are PREFERRED by guys. That's why they make a big deal about it. Little cracks or slits are for the few that have that "little girl" fetish because it does look like a baby. That's more weird and scary, honestly.  I a real man likes a woman that is born with a more meaty crevice, and there's NO WAY that happens from one encounter. Accept yourself as you are and know that men just LOVE all labia...the more the better.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
The bottom line (and here's the irony).   Porn films showed many women who were "small" down there because they mistakenly thought that men wanted to see something that wasn't common. Thus, the industry tried to show what looked like "little girls" who had less perceptible genitalia. It is NOT a fair representation of reality.  Most women have some form of lips that protrude beyond the outer lips....all are unique and very few are like the ones you see on the porn films.  Porn just sells, no matter what, so they thought that is what men wanted to see.  It was actually the weirdos that wanted to see "the little girl look".  More "hard-core" magazines became successful because they showed more than Playboy.  It shows that seeing protruding labia was indeed what men wanted to see. It's considered harder core porno because that's what men WANT to see.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thank you ! I appreciate your words.
Blank
1814948_tn?1316925327
what should i do to make labia white?is it possible to change it white from black ?but without surgery....
n yes i want to know about its smell too..my boyfriend told me that it is having very strong smell..what to do for that please help me..
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
to all the ladies without seeing you im sure you are just beautiful. im a 28 year old male who has lived a full life, ive had numerous partners and seen that there is no 2 vaginas that are the same. i belive that in this society that companies say they can fix our problems but there was never a problem. to say your labia is too big too small that is like saying red is the perfect colour. i prefer to appreciate all the colours for thier beauty likewise with women. if any guy complains about your vagina they are only looking for sexual gratification and he is not worth it. my wife has certain insecurities that i try to make her feel better about, to me she is perfect but you wont find her in a magazine and thats cool. she is a real woman and me im not perfect but i have accepted me for what i am the scars, stretch marks little receding hair line i can continue but you get the point. when i look at her i dont see any flaws just the things that make her different from the next girl. i wont tell you not to do a procdeure because if it makes you feel better and more confident then i guess it makes sense for you but i hate the fact that books and tv , shallow ***** pick apart every piece of someone they think can be improved, never focusing on the beauty only negative. i love only one woman but i still enjoy the beauty the rest of you bring to the world dont change. be confident there is some one that will love you forever for who you are.  ps im not the best at spelling so keep that in mind.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks!! for the  great and genuine  male feedback !!! in reply to the various posts.
Really much appreciated...by all the women  on the planet

Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm the same way. I can relate to how you feel. I've even asked my doctor about cosmetic surgery to reduce them. I am glad now I did not go further w/ that but... I just wanted to say I TOTALLY understand. I wish I had some words of comfort other than "you are not alone".
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I'm the same way. I can relate to how you feel. I've even asked my doctor about cosmetic surgery to reduce them. I am glad now I did not go further w/ that but... I just wanted to say I TOTALLY understand. I wish I had some words of comfort other than "you are not alone".
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
There are many great comments on this blog.  If you are young, everything is new and difficult to manage.  Psychologically, emotionally and sexually.  It's just plain tough.  It takes some time to get used to yourself.  Personally, I love big lips.  Every woman is unique and beautiful.  Learning to accept yourself and enjoy yourself is the number one thing to tun a man on.  Everybody wins this way.  Your differences make you FANTASTIC!  Give yourself some time and try not to trip out on it so much if you can help it.  I had a wonderful girlfriend once with two completely different shaped boobs.  It's one of the things I will always remember and appreciate about her.  Her labia extended all the way to her anus.  I asked about it, curious, and she just told me that's the way she is.  Topic over.  What a great person and body to experience.  It's fun.  Bodies are fun.  Remember that and appreciate it.  It's Ok. If anybody says something different just let it roll past you.  Guys aren't always the smartest or reeking in tact.  Ok, generally stupid and bad communicators.  Don't let it get you down.  Concentrate on enjoying your body and your experiences first and bring that to someone you trust.  If it's casual sex then let them deal with you enjoying your life.  It makes for a better experience for everyone.

If sexual abuse is a part of your history that does not change what I have stated prior. My mother was abused sexually and she was able to not only able forgive completely but move on to a different experience of life.  This was not my experience but I do admire her tremendously for her work.  It will be work but you are not alone and it is possible to heal.  

All my blessings,

Matt
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I love all sizes of labia but I really love large labia the most. They are sexy and beautiful. Your labia are part of your sex organs. They also serve a purpose of protecting the inner vagina. Vulvas and hair, eye colors are all individualized. They are all normal for each person.

Use lots of lubrication when masturbating or having intercourse. It will make them feel so good and enhance your sexual pleasure.

From a man who loves all labia!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i also hav labia manora.and wen i was abt 10 my friend saw it and also thought it was abnormal.so did every1 else dat knew i had it.dey called it a 'rose' bt sed it 2 b insulting.i was so humiliated.up til 2day im stil self-concious.bt im learning 2 live wid it.,everyday i grow stronger in spirit.tryna appreciate my body
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I'm 27 I have a very darkened pubic area and my lips hang down very low. It upsets me that men think of labia like mine as worn out because of too much sex because this is nonsense! I do get self conscious but I also love them.  You should watch amateur porn instead of porn stars and you would realize that we are actually the normal ones! My boyfriend doesn't mind them. The only reason I would consider surgery is because they don't always fit into skimpy knickers not because I'm embarrassed about my body.  
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I'm 27 I have a very darkened pubic area and my lips hang down very low. It upsets me that men think of labia like mine as worn out because of too much sex because this is nonsense! I do get self conscious but I also love them.  You should watch amateur porn instead of porn stars and you would realize that we are actually the normal ones! My boyfriend doesn't mind them. The only reason I would consider surgery is because they don't always fit into skimpy knickers not because I'm embarrassed about my body.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I pretty much have the same exact problem but  im only 15. and it was pretty much the same for me.. i have not lost my virginity but im just a little wimp about telling my mom. she has so much debt and telling her would make things worse. i am very insecure about myself as well and i hate even talking about havign sex with guys because even when i get into the whole idea i have a feeling that it wont work out and i will in the end get hurt and embarassed. then i act weird and the guys never talk to me anymore. :[ but i did have the itching problem as well
Blank
1853129_tn?1319533683
IT IS MOST DEFINITELY NORMAL! All vagina's come in different sizes and colors. Just keep in mind that porn stars do surgery and bleaching to their vagina. Don't worry, you're not alone, my labia is dark also and I've never had a guy complain about it. I'm sure what matters the most to men is what your vagina feels like not what it looks like! :) Hope that made you feel better.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Whoa. To say that everyone in porn is perfect if disgusting.  There is no such thing.  Everyone is different and unique.  And everyone has different things that do turn them on.  It bothers me that people sit around talking about how gross hair or labias are... it's just a symptom of our sick society.  Yes, main stream porn, if there is such a thing anymore.... does tend to show a specific type of woman, head to toe, and yes there are not many large labias represented in these cases.  But your first mistake is comparing yourself to anyone else, let alone porn.  You are you, she is she, and I'm me.  We are all different, and the sooner we accept that, and accept ourselves, the sooner we can appreciate the things that make us more unique or special.  And I, personally, love hair, and a large labia.  And I challenge the people who talk poorly of such things, because I don't think I should feel weird for liking what I like, and I'd hate for someone to overhear and feel bad about themselves, thinking that there's something wrong with them or that they should try to be different than they are.  I prefer a WOMAN.  WOMEN have hair, and WOMEN over done worrying about whether or not they look like the other girls.  WOMEN are strong, and secure in who they are.  Love yourself, first and foremost.  Put your self worth in what someone else thinks, even if you love that person, and you'll live a miserable life.  There is NOTHING wrong with you and your vagina is NOT a problem.  Anyone who treats you differently in any way because of it, really needs a reality check, and you could pity them and their skewed perception of the world.  They are missing out on so much in life shying away from things they haven't seen or experienced before.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
im only 22 and i heard that the look of the labia and shape is due to having a lot of sex, is that true?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
If it makes you feel any better.... I have the same problem as well.... I eel ugly because of it as well and therefore I don't let people touch me :/
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I am a man. I have never seen an ugly vagina.
I've seen many vaginas in the flesh & thousands more in photos. One of the reasons guys go down on girls is to get a closer look. Most of us do think they are lovely.
Personally I have a preference for bigger lips. If anything, it stops you from looking like a child. Your labia grows as you mature, so it is highly likely they are much bigger than you remember when you were 12. (remember your breasts & pubes grew too).
Often the labia have a darker pigment near the ends. Often one lip is larger than the other. It really doesn't matter & is not something to be concerned about. The larger the lips the more pleasure there is for you when we lick them.

Please love your body as we do. Do not obsess about it, it is highly likely you are very normal. Remember it is the variation that makes us all interesting. Do not expect to be identical to every other girl. If one breast is slightly bigger than the other, that is OK too.
Remember, Smiling makes you much more attractive & approachable :-)
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
You're fine, mine is like that too and I love it. If you want to look at real people and be reassured, there is a website www.****.com where you can see what REAL labias et al look like. If your inner labia is differently coloured and darker that's normal too. Pornstars get their things bleached (yuck, yuck), but maybe also because of health and hygiene reasons, haha. Hope you feel better, Heather
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
DW sista :) my problem is somewhat like yours but to do with the outer 'lips' of my vgna :) its all black and long O.o not to mention I'm Asian :< but everyone's vagina is different and it doesn't matter what color or shape it is. Just make sure that you keep your hygiene levels up over the top and everything should be fine:D
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
The beauty of not knowing is that you never have to worry about it. I was never sexually active until my first boyfriend who is very experienced, at age 29!!!. Since i didnt know the difference i was myself and with no insecuruites. He seemed to compliment my labias over and over and finally for the first time i looked at myself down there. And it looked dark and not pretty (to me). (in my opinion i think all vaginas are weird lookin comapred to the penis....hence the attraction...men find vaginas beautiful) But since he had been complimenting it i assumed it truly was beautiful. So the insecurities are brought upon by worrying about it. So my opinion is that out of sight=out of mind=no insecurities=a beautiful vagina.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
i feel the same way. i feel like mine is so ugly and i dont want any guy to see it. my mom has been wanting me to go to the Gino and im to scared to go cause i dont want them to look at me and think im gross and dusting that i look like that and i have a problem. and it makes me cry cause i feel so different from everyone and i just want to look the same
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
i feel the same way. i feel like mine is so ugly and i dont want any guy to see it. my mom has been wanting me to go to the Gino and im to scared to go cause i dont want them to look at me and think im gross and dusting that i look like that and i have a problem. and it makes me cry cause i feel so different from everyone and i just want to look the same
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hey girls, I found this page by googling, because I have a very similar issue. I lost my virgity 5 months ago with my fiancé, and we have intercourse regularly. But despite that fact I'm still very self concious about my vigina (vagina). I always beat myself up about how I look, because I tell myself that nobody else could look like this. My vaginia has on really long flap compared to the other on the inside. It sticks out the outer lip and it makes me so incredibly self concious. My fiancé  Has never once had anything bad to say about it, but it still makes me nervous. He wants to try oral sex, but im just to nervous to let him go down there. I feel ugly and unattractive, but im not sure if i did it to myself or not. I have never said anything to anyone about this,fly fiancé unfortunately doesn't know this either. When i was five years old i was kind of molested. Not raped!Just rubbed up on, down there. Since then I have always rubbed up on myself down there, just because it felt good. I wouldn't let anyone else touch me, but I would do it to myself. I was incrediably nervous about guys touching me, that i never really dated much. I got my first real kiss when i was 16, (that's how nervous I was to let a guy touch me) So now I feel like its my fault that one of my vigina (vagina) lips is longer than the other? I have never been to a Gino, because I'm scared something really is wrong with me and they  will treat me like im a freak or something. I dont want to ruin my sex life with my fiance, but I'm just too self concious whenever he wants to try something new. i just want to feel normal. Everything I've read on here has made me feel a little bit better but I'm still worried. Someone please offer a word of advice.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I'm 19 and I want to have sex with my boyfriend but im embarised because oneside of my labia is stretched and darke while the other is tight and I guess lighter in color. My biggest fear is even if he doesn't see it at first he will feel it. Its so bad Im scared to even let him touch my vagina. Would my issue be a complete turn off for a guy
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Right on!!! I am a 49 yo mother of 5 children and never considered my vagina might look different than someone elses. And you are SO right! They are ALL ugly. I think. My god, wait til the hair starts turning gray and falling out. I shave the hell out of it now but never did before and just now find out how gross that was so being married a long time can have its benefits I suppose beyond a lifetime partner. Penis' are ugly too. The only toime a guy is going to see it is if he is performing oral sex and all he is interested in is making you feel good...
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I am old enough to be your mom...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not do this to yourself. ANY of you girls. I remember being insecure about everything when I was ya'lls age and can't imagine how bad it really would have been if airbrushing and photoshop was around back then. You guys are comparing yourselves to Playboy models that have been "fixxed" in their pictures. All a guy wants IF he cares about you is to make you feel good.And if he is out for himself, nothing about you will matter except that you are a living breathing woman for the few minutes he will be around... If you are not a virgin, he wants to be the best you ever had. My childhood sweetheart had a penis that seriously bent 45 degrees. Yes. It looked...and felt...like an L. So we are not the lone rangers...men have issues too and you will be amazed at the things you will encounter as you explore your sexual sides. What I DO KNOW FOR A FACT is that men ARE visual and a confident woman is a complete turn on so please do not go into any sexual encounter with any insecurities.  It will show and that WILL turn him off. He could care less about anything else unless you surprise him and you are really a guy. That might be a problem, lol.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I'm a guy who found this comment thread when looking up labia for my girlfriend's wellbeing. Firstly, I fell in love with the woman, not her genitals.

When we first had sex and I discovered her flowery labia, at first I was surprised, and then immediately intrigued because she was a bit different and therefore more interesting, less common and unique to me. I soon learned that she had a little embarrassment about it, could not enjoy wearing a sexy thong, and I set out to show here how wonderful her full, flexible labia were.

I won't go into enough detail to make this comment an abuse of the website, but:
With her, I am twice as turned on to oral sex. I love to gently roll them aside, pull them slightly with my lips and enjoy their texture.

When making love, they hold onto me, and we both enjoy seeing how they caress me on withdrawal. In short, I love her genitals and her long, velvety labia. If you have such gifts, please be happy with what nature has given you. Being proud of them will also show confidence and make your lover(s) glad you have developed uncompromising awareness of your femininity.
Men,(and perhaps many women) appreciate a sexually confident woman.

Be kind to yourselves. Forget about what you believe is 'normal' because you are. Love your body, because it's what you have. Love your body because it will encourage the enjoyment of all you can do.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Uff, i read all those more than 200 posts! have to admit how much more man knows about us woman! all men's comments were as dessert :) bravo to gentlemen! while we ladies want something from our childhood still... TILL right time comes and we discover why those big inner lips are needed!!! and i'm sure - your days are front of you: it's so much fun & pleasure what woman can receive from man!!! Creativepaddler described it very well:))) no need to repeat what man can do with labia! LADIES, IT'S WOWWW and for man it is most important that you are truly pleased & excited! :)

I'm in 30-ies. and honestly i only lately discovered that actually vagina and penis are big Creator's art and in a special way beautiful and masterpiece for having love. I thought like mostly women that why we have such 'ugly' vagina and labia?mine is bigger too, and now i love it!!! could not imagine that in my 20-ties! Relax our minds and enjoy what nature gave when right time comes!;)

Yes, don't loose virginity (both genders) without thinking, waiting and preparing! in young age you can get only mental traumas what you don't need in your life! You are a human not an experiment for someone!
Girls can be so cold or vulgar or sharp that young man can be easily hurted and get scars for life... And the same vise versus - what boys understand in young ages about woman's intim organs & needs?? let them develop and get mature as MAN when he is ready to show love you deserve! He don't need to learn anything on you and collect experience!!! When 2 halves meet they are perfectly anatomically made for each other and instinctively knows what to do and enjoy sexual growing&discovering process together! No need to be perfect because with all your many "faults" u are already perfect for each other.

Lucky girls who found these posts - look , how many we thought something is wrong with us!!! but no, it's just missing knowledge... ALL VAGINAS & LABIAS ARE OK and kind of lottery what we are getting with all tastes, smells, textures... just follow of course everyday's hygiene & respect:) Young ladies i understand you get shock with body's changes, shy to talk about this topic and many years keeping inside worries, scare & missing confidence.
     It's my case too... i lost virginity in 18 (now i would say early!) with long time bf, he was good young man at the same age but in sex he hurted me without realizing so much by asking what i have 'there' and why... i suddenly felt like sick & abnormal but before i did not even imagined that something is 'wrong', i did not know what it is, just is! We had some more intimacies and i knew he loves me and accept me the way i am but inside i had pain that he would wish me a different! and soon from my side our love ended but It closed me for many years to go in new relationship because i got shy! i felt sexy always but protected that area as prison. Later i discovered men don't wonder what it is... but i just couldn't get relaxed inside... i always quit guys after having 1-3 sex times and not because something went wrong but because i was scare to be hurted & laughed at, and i naturally run away from relationships. Till....... one man/bf touched them and immediately got excited with shiny eyes and said oohhh, i want kiss u there pls now!!!!!... he did it with such love and joy that we both discovered new levels of intimacy. I first time open up to someone and said how i felt about my body... he was shocked and appreciated a lot that i told him and loved & got crazy even more for my big labia by lucking, sucking, pulling etc, that was heaven for me! :))) We are no longer together for other reasons not sexual, but i finally love totally all my body, don't want cut anything and so happy for what i have and don't want any other labia than i have! Now i'm super confident:))) And glad for peace inside i have... and want give my vagina, my labia, my boops, all me only to my husband! less sexual memories u have from previous partners better for you both!!!
God bless all women & men
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
and bytheway, for men indeed have different penis as we ladies have labia! :)) - different sizes, forms, textures, angles, even colors! Wouldn't you love your man with any penis??? you would not want other penis as he have! because it is his unique penis!
you care not one specific detail but all in common, mostly his/her PERSONALITY, character, values, attitudes, charm, lifestyle...

If we are so worried about our labia you can only imagine how worried are men for his important 'friend'... but they keep it deep inside!
Women are responsible to show how much we love the way they love&pleasing us :)
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Me too! I'm 21 and for my entire life up until now I thought that it was abnormal. I just found out that it was normal today when I tried to search about it to see if I could have it removed. You don't know how relieved it makes me to find out that practically every other woman has it as well. Seriously they ought to talk about this to girls in school. Both protrude by like 2cm-ish since before I hit puberty (age 10), actually for as long as I can remember, and I have always felt it was strange and felt self-conscious about it. I have even avoided making any relationships with guys because of it and felt that my entire future life was going to be lonely on the marital front because of it. I am crying tears of relief right now. Why does no one tell you stuff like this? I now feel so overwhelmed that I have spent my young life worrying about nothing and being made to feel self-conscious, ugly and fat by stupid sexualised media and by the fact that I have felt like such a FREAK for AGES when I am in fact ENTIRELY NORMAL
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
OH MY GOD!! I'm not the only one. FInally someone who knows exactly how i feel, and i am only 19!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I just have to say that I can't believe this thread has been going on since 2007!

I did not know so many women and girls were faced with this insecurity. I always thought I was normal until my early teens when I saw an episode of Howard Stern with a guest who had gotten surgery on her vagina. They showed a photo (obviously bleeped out) and Howard Stern went crazy making negative comments about her vagina pre-surgery. The comments he was making was describing me!! Ever since then I have been self concious.

But, admittedly, at 26, I have been with lots of men...more than my age. I have NEVER, not once, had a guy say anything. My labia are very large. Both lips hangout. They always have, there was no "itching" or anything "popping" out as some of you have said. I have been to the gyno many times as ALL OF YOU YOUNG LADIES SHOULD DO IF YOU'RE HAVING SEX!!! and they have never mentioned it.

I also waited till much later than most to have sex because of my insecurities. I'm glad now because it protected me from having sex too soon. (15 IS TOO SOON!!!) However, you are all normal and special, and if a guy is going to complain, he is not worthy. I don't expect these words will make it any easier, but just know many women, older than you, have had the same insecurities and we all push through it, and manage to get on with our lives.

Also know many guys are just as insecure about their penis size. I dated a guy for 3 years and during fights I would say he had a small one. I would later recant. He definitely was not small. But every time, no matter what, even if I was joking, he would get offended. That was the same for others as well. So, just remember he might just as insecure as you are!!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Same problem, exept mine is not a diff. Color! I'm a little insecure bit not to worried I mean vaginas are gross looking anyways.. what's a little bit of extra skin gonna hurt? Lol
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Relax Little Missess.  Love yourself.  You are normal.  You are beautiful.  Your man will love you and appreciate those labia.  He will love to see them, he will love to play with them, he will love you for you, all of you,  just as you are.  You need to learn to love yourself.  Labia come in all sizes and it is totally normal for them to be darker than the surrounding area.  Stop stressing about it.  Nothing to be ashamed of.  It really is normal.  It really is beautiful!  I can say this with no reservation because I am a man.  Have a great day!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
im the exact same way and nothing to be worried about cuz i thought that  was the only one and it started for me when i just started to turn 12 but your not alone...
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Are you even still with this guy after six years?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Me to:( I'm only 15 and I'm going through it already, I've never had sex or even masterbated and its happenening to me:( I can't stop crying about it, I'm to embarrassed to talk to my mum or boyfriend about it... What do I do:(
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Talk to your Mum she will do all she can to support you. My daughter has the same issues and we have looked into it together, she knows that it is normal and that no two people are the same, your Mum will know you are upset and she will be worrie about you. If you can talk with her you could both go to your GP together that way you will have her support and you can both ask questions.

As a Mum I think we would all rather know what was upsetting our children so we can help.

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I have the EXACT same feelings about mine. I've had one boyfriend jokingly teased me about it,, not realizing how self conscious I was. I would like to get surgery just so that I would feel better about myself, but I am in college, barely able to pay bills, and don't have health insurance. But one day I will probably have it done when I can afford it... I've been to a gyno once a couple years ago, and they said I was normal... But I still feel like to some guy, I'm just gunna be "the girl with the ugly vagina"... For now, I guess I'm just trying to reassure myself that it's normal. Unless you get surgery, I guess that's all you can do.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
as a medical doctor, i recommend you speak to your GP.  There are conditions that can be very easily and readily treated (lichen sclerosis) that dont require surgery and can be relieved.  sometimes it is relief to hear what you have is ok and normal.  go and see someone, mum doesnt need to know but there are hundreds and thousands of women in the same boat.  most get on with life never thinking anything is different, others are troubled.  

take care and be proud
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
WOW im sooooo happy that i found this site because for like 12 years ive been feeling like mine is not normal or there must be something wrong with me because mine to is on the large side and is not the pretty pink so i must say after reading this i feel soooooo much better about myself THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
WOW im sooooo happy that i found this site because for like 12 years ive been feeling like mine is not normal or there must be something wrong with me because mine to is on the large side and is not the pretty pink so i must say after reading this i feel soooooo much better about myself THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Women's Health Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
How to Silence Your Inner Critic an...
Apr 16 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eaters: How to Silence Yo...
Mar 26 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
1344197_tn?1392822771
Blank
Vaginal vs. Laparoscopic Hysterecto...
Feb 19 by J. Kyle Mathews, MD, DVMBlank
Top Women's Health Answerers
1527510_tn?1392304944
Blank
Carly1306
United Kingdom
136956_tn?1363091289
Blank
ticked
Mississauga, ON
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
msniki412
New York , NY
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
arlandonbloom
CO
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
5840009_tn?1395493115
Blank
ROSYouralright
PHUKET, Thailand