I too feel like IM loosing it

[justme879]

Hey everyone. Plz no judgements. Im 20 I graduated from college. I am looking for a job. Im marrried but he lives in another country and im trying tpo get him here. Do to the recession its difficult for me to find a job. But I feel so f*cking depressed.me and hubby are always fighting I put him down and call him names. and he just takes it. i feel like i have no frends. im jealous wen i see other happy ppl . im angry as hell i had suicidal thoughts but know that i will never go through with it because im sane. i think about my grandparents (who are in my home country and who i dont see often ) dying  and i cry a lot for that. i see that my mom is aging and and coming to a realization that we all die .. and its very emotional for me. i dunno i just cry all the time. wen im alone .. i dunno wat is wrong with me ?? im too young to  feel like this.. i dont want to have any kids because i feel like they will just be strangers to me and use my body to grow, get out, and go about their life...I am sick of young girls having babies all the time with no worries in the world of how they're gonna pay for them. I just hate this.. I wasnt always like this but I just cant seem to find stable happiness... i hate this materialism that we live in we forgot wat things are real and wat are fake.. i just think that the world is confused..pleaze help..

[vhc09]

what helped me was finding fellowship with others of my religious faith. plus i believe that after we die we will see all those who died before us again and that their spirits are watching over us. you are feeling the world as a cruel, meaningless, lonely place right now. i know how that feels and it is horrible. but it doesn't have to be that way. i can tell you have great qualities but feel unappreciated. hang in there. i will be praying for you.

[Pcogale]

PP has some good advice.

It does sound like you need to see someone.  You probably need some help.  It sounds as though you may be depressed and may require some medication such as antidepressants (bear in mind these can take 2-4 weeks before you see an affect) as well as some counselling or therapy.

[Penny70]

It sounds like you could use someone to talk to. Have you seen or ever used a therapist? I think it could be helpful. It sounds too like you need to get out and meet people and keep busy. If you don't have a job how about volunteering somewhere where you can do something productive and feel good about yourself, and the rest of the world.
Penny

[MOMY29]

well thank god ya dont have kids!!! I feel the same way and I have 3 kids n no work since having the baby in oct. I just hold on to my faith that God will make a way for me. I also do d same to my fiance and I hate myself after. I wish I could stop I hope you find happieness within your self when you do things will get better.