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Severe PMS
I have been with the same woman for 10 years. She is 35. Over the last 5 years her PMS has gotten worse and worse. Suring her PMS she has moodswings that can go from nice cuttling person to a angry, paranoid one within seconds with no apparent trigger.
During those episodes she has tried to end the relationship for any reason ranging from "I don't love you any more" to "I have been trying to end this for years". She also tends to critizize and pick a fight over insignificant issues.
I have kept track on when the PMS starts so I can try to be as supportive as possible but recently this hasn't worked either. Her irrationality during those days has become incresingly troubling.
Needless to say that in between things are just fine as long as I don't remind her about her PMS behavior.
I cannot recommend for her to see anyone about this without getting in further trouble.
What should I do to save my relationship?
During those episodes she has tried to end the relationship for any reason ranging from "I don't love you any more" to "I have been trying to end this for years". She also tends to critizize and pick a fight over insignificant issues.
I have kept track on when the PMS starts so I can try to be as supportive as possible but recently this hasn't worked either. Her irrationality during those days has become incresingly troubling.
Needless to say that in between things are just fine as long as I don't remind her about her PMS behavior.
I cannot recommend for her to see anyone about this without getting in further trouble.
What should I do to save my relationship?
Maybe you cant save it...I am wondering if there are greater problems than just PMS! The fact that she doesnt want to fix her problem tells me that she doesnt see a problem....
You are in a bad spot. You are a guy, that is the first bad thing. No woman wants to hear a guy say get your homones in check. :) Which I believe you realize this.
She is probably going into perimenapoze (ms). Is her mother alive or does she have a sister that you can talk to about this and have them mention it.
Here's something you might do. She needs to stay away from sugar and caffeine during that time, and also she needs to be taking some B vitamins.
Heres something else. She doesn't take midol does she? In some women it has been discovered midol makes the woman more moody. Not in all women but in some. Don't know why?
Is she on the pill, if so she probably should get off of it. Some women become complete @@@@@ with it. I was one of them, and I realized it and stopped taking them. I was better though if I took them at night before I went to sleep.
My advice to you is STAY AWAY. I am guessing that it is usually one major blow up each month at that time. If that is the case, get someone else to be her punching bag.
I believe though that she feels bad after this happens.
When I was on the pill and acted this way, I felt so stupid and dumb afterwards.
If she is on the pill, that should be your first thing to get rid of.
She is probably going into perimenapoze (ms). Is her mother alive or does she have a sister that you can talk to about this and have them mention it.
Here's something you might do. She needs to stay away from sugar and caffeine during that time, and also she needs to be taking some B vitamins.
Heres something else. She doesn't take midol does she? In some women it has been discovered midol makes the woman more moody. Not in all women but in some. Don't know why?
Is she on the pill, if so she probably should get off of it. Some women become complete @@@@@ with it. I was one of them, and I realized it and stopped taking them. I was better though if I took them at night before I went to sleep.
My advice to you is STAY AWAY. I am guessing that it is usually one major blow up each month at that time. If that is the case, get someone else to be her punching bag.
I believe though that she feels bad after this happens.
When I was on the pill and acted this way, I felt so stupid and dumb afterwards.
If she is on the pill, that should be your first thing to get rid of.
I suffer bad PMS( although if I eat alot of chinese food that month I don't get any PMS! Go figure?) I usually know it's coming because I start noticing it creeping up on me - sore bloated breasts, a general hate for the world and anyone (except my family) in it. I literally feel like I'm going bonkers.
What troubles me about what you say is you're never able to talk about her behavior after PMS is gone. I can admit I'm moody during these times and pick on everyone for the slightest thing - I seem to lose patience during PMS - and talk about it and if while I'm being moody and my partner says something I try to be more aware of my behavior.
I wonder if she suffers from bipolar disorder as well? I know you've been together a long time but if she's not interested or doesn't think she has a problem and constantly says she wants to break up, I'd be inclined to call it a day and find a more loving and supportive partner. Until she is willing to seek help your life is going to be a misery and seriously what she is doing is abusive emotionally.
You need to sit down with her and have a serious talk, lay all your cards on the table no matter if she doesn't like it. You have to get through to her how this is affecting your relationship. If she wants to break up accept it, she's probably going to expect you talking her out of it I assume, don't. When she realises that you've agreed to the break up she might start reflecting for the first time on whether she really does want to break up. She's probably using that as a way to hurt your feelings.
I had a boyfriend that use to always break up with me then take off for a few hours with me in tears begging him not to go while he drove off and later come back and make up. This behavior went on for years until I got fed up and stopped the tears and begging and agreed to break up - He never did it again!! LOL Reverse psychology.
What troubles me about what you say is you're never able to talk about her behavior after PMS is gone. I can admit I'm moody during these times and pick on everyone for the slightest thing - I seem to lose patience during PMS - and talk about it and if while I'm being moody and my partner says something I try to be more aware of my behavior.
I wonder if she suffers from bipolar disorder as well? I know you've been together a long time but if she's not interested or doesn't think she has a problem and constantly says she wants to break up, I'd be inclined to call it a day and find a more loving and supportive partner. Until she is willing to seek help your life is going to be a misery and seriously what she is doing is abusive emotionally.
You need to sit down with her and have a serious talk, lay all your cards on the table no matter if she doesn't like it. You have to get through to her how this is affecting your relationship. If she wants to break up accept it, she's probably going to expect you talking her out of it I assume, don't. When she realises that you've agreed to the break up she might start reflecting for the first time on whether she really does want to break up. She's probably using that as a way to hurt your feelings.
I had a boyfriend that use to always break up with me then take off for a few hours with me in tears begging him not to go while he drove off and later come back and make up. This behavior went on for years until I got fed up and stopped the tears and begging and agreed to break up - He never did it again!! LOL Reverse psychology.
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