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morning ladies,how do i help my bf????....i want him to check his sperm count but he doesn't want to go, I don't want to seem that i am pushing him to go, b/cuz the last time i mentioned it he was pissed (men & there egos). Anway, he claims the reason for us not conceiveing is that he needs booster drinks to build his sperms. I don't want to discourage him, b/cuz he mighten bother to go to the DR....So i'm leaving him to drink his stuff have him believing it could work....quiet honestly i know that's not going to help...but i want some advice on how to encourage him to go & get much better advice on what he needs......i need some marriage advice please..help !!! one island love....:)
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Avatar_n_tn
If he was a real man and wanted a baby so bad then he would do this one little test for YOU! To keep you from being poked and proded.  Tests for women are so much more difficult.  If he wont go for this one little test then I would serously consider how much he actually wants a child and a marriage.  If you are willing to go thru all these tests then he should be too.
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Avatar_n_tn
at the risk of sounding old fashioned...what ever happened to getting married and THEN trying to have a baby???

i agree, he is either embarrassed about low sperm and feels less of a man or does not want a baby right now.
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Avatar_n_tn
geeze....i am SOOOOO 10 minutes ago! guess i need to get with the program here. i'm just 37 going on 27. owell, hence the reason for broken marriages, single parent homes, and children without their dads (usually). sorry just venting here.
not saying this is the posters case but typically when someone posts about their "BF" and them "TTC", it scares me for the future.
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Avatar_n_tn
I think that if he wanted a child as badly as you he would do the semen analysis. Maybe he does not want a baby as much as you right now.
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Avatar_n_tn
i'm not blaming him only, but like you said it's easier to rule him out first then if it's not him then i would do what i have to do....he is ready for a baby & marrage even more than me sometimes..(he he, he) *shy smile*, he said he thinks it's him, but jus believes booster drinks would do the trick instead of just going for the dr's help.....that's his belief not mine
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Avatar_n_tn
Not to be harsh but if he does not want to do a semen analysis he never will. You may just have to face that relaization and come to terms with not having children if he is in fact the one with the fertility problem.
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Avatar_n_tn
i think just leaving him alone & after awhile he'll go on his own when he realize it doesn't work...:)
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Avatar_n_tn
I have no clue what a "booster" drink is but if it truly affected the sperm count don't you think we would have all heard of it and men all over the world would be on it making their super-sperms???  A booster drink is not going to help a low sperm count and if he has a high count but there are defects it certainly will not help.
Why not concentrate on your future wedding and ttc after that??
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Avatar_n_tn
i understand everything what you're saying by the old fashioned way, which is to have a baby after marrage...which is alot of sence....not that we didn't say we wouldn't prefer it that way. Just i'm beginning to get the baby itch *he he* (smile) & it's just wierd that after so long with out contraceptive nothing at all....not even a M/C....i think we should at least know.
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Avatar_n_tn
who is dis: oh he's now  to try this drink thingy :(, b/cuz for some reason i think he said it worked for other men

Harley: i have after this months AF i'm more focused on wedding plans, but guess what??!!... he wants to continue trying we here don't call it booster drinks we call it (punch)....it's a milk drink with all sorts of vitamins & fruits to i don't know really energize their sperms.....i don't drink it or like it & most defenitly don't belive in it. i just want him to wake the hell up & smell the coffee what works for them doesn't work for all.
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Avatar_n_tn
who is dis: oh he's now  to try this drink thingy :(, b/cuz for some reason i think he said it worked for other men

Harley: i have after this months AF i'm more focused on wedding plans, but guess what??!!... he wants to continue trying we here don't call it booster drinks we call it (punch)....it's a milk drink with all sorts of vitamins & fruits to i don't know really energize their sperms.....i don't drink it or like it & most defenitly don't belive in it. i just want him to wake the hell up & smell the coffee what works for them doesn't work for all.
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Avatar_n_tn
ha ha..that was actually quite funny! i think sometimes you and who_dis (and i wonder why she changed her NN) sound one in the same. you seem to have similiar tone and advice. this is a good thing.

island...i wonder if your BF has a feeling this punch will NOT increase his sperm and that is why he is doing it. to pacify you and keep the ole spermies at bay. just a thought.  
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Avatar_n_tn
no he actually belives it would work....it's i who don't belive it...or actually know it wouldn't work,,,,


sailor's wife: that was a good one lol
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Avatar_n_tn
are some of you ladies here to advice or just to make fun of those who don't know better....b/cuz that's not really nice...any way yes sailor darling i know the question i asked for marriage advice those who're married b/cuz i am getting married....are you willing to help & please don't yell today...lol :)..oh yeah do you have another joke..:)
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Avatar_n_tn
OK..so then we are back to square one again. you stated in your first post....
YOU want him to check his sperm count but he does NOT want to go.
the last time you mentioned he go get checked, he got "pissed"

i think that is your answer!

if his heart was in in at this time, he would go see the dr. to get the "once over" and skip this drink that is a time waster.
(to boost sperm count anyway).  



lastly you said you need some "marriage" advice. you arent married? my advice on that topic...i already gave it above but i will reitterate. get married first and then TTC.
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Avatar_n_tn
who is dis: no it's not you i asking.... i know you're trying to help me darling...thanks alot

ocean: oh yes i like i said before it i agree with you 100% that boosting cramp....& i'm into the wedding plans now & he's in the baby plans.....what ever happen happens you know...i just wish i know how to get to to think straight about it...he's sorta stubbon too you know...:)
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Avatar_n_tn
* i mean how to get him to think straight*....my boss passes every now & then so i would make these errors....lol then some of my co-workers want to talk while i'm typing
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Avatar_n_tn
* i mean how to get him to think straight*....my boss passes every now & then so i would make these errors....lol then some of my co-workers want to talk while i'm typing
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108334_tn?1253647995
Sounds like he is probably sick of all the baby talk. Maybe lay off for a while. Work on other things in your relationship, like the wedding. You COULD be driving him crazy.
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Avatar_f_tn
This may be a silly question but you keep referring to him as your "boyfriend" and keep saying you're getting married- so is he your fiance and you have an engagement ring on your finger or what?  I'm just a little confused...

Island, you asked for advice and that is what the ladies here gave you- we're just not telling you what you want to hear.  I agree with the women that said you should get married first and then TTC.  My husband and I got pregnant one month prior to our wedding, and the first year is enough of a learning experience without having to be pregnant and getting ready for a baby in addition.  As for the "baby itch," if you want a baby and the best interest for your future children, you would get your ducks in a row first (figure out the real issue behind your significant other, which is NOT, I assure you, just that he thinks booster drinks will help and get your lives settled together and forever) and then attempt bringing a baby into this world.  Having an "itch" for a baby is not good enough reason to try and bring one into the world and not be properly prepared.  

This is just my opinion.
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i hear you honey, i'm not mad b/cuz of the advice it's jus some ladies have been making comments that don't even pertain to what i was talking about it's those ladies i was talking about......yes any way i'm must admit i did kinda drive him crazy about it... alittle too much, now i'm not bothering with it & left him still worried about the situation. but do you think i should make him check before we get married so we could know what to do in the near future.....:)????
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oh yes we're engaged....ok ok put me in my place....lol....he's buggin now even than me
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108334_tn?1253647995
So are you saying that if his tests comeback that there's something wrong with his sperm you won't marry him??? I don't think you're quite grasping what anyone is telling you.
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127124_tn?1326739035
I gave you the same advice days ago.  Obviously you don't want "real" advice.  So hear goes.

I'm sure after 18 months of ttc and having nothing happens doesn't mean a thing.  You are both perfectly fine and the drinking and
booster drinks are working great.
Since you are at the "perfect age" to have a baby I'm sure it will happen any day now.

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Avatar_n_tn
ohhhh lorrrdddd i don't think you're grasping what i'm saying....i am still going to marry him i'm just wondering if i should know how to go about TTC if it's low... i love him that's why i want his baby, i wouldn't leave him if it's low oh my god no....:/
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108334_tn?1253647995
I think you should re-read my post again and take in all of it. About the relationship counseling, deeper issues etc. If your bf got mad at you asking only two times in a year and a half, I don't think there is a baby in the near future for you. I'm sorry.
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Avatar_n_tn
:( please don't say that hon.....:(
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that's how i feel SOMETIMES being with him....:).but i will agree with you on that...it makes alot more sence now that someelse thought it as well....i thought it was just me that was thinking that, but it has to be....I know he wants a baby,jus i really think he have to get other things out the way first.... i hear you hon...:)
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Avatar_n_tn
what your getting mad at me for!!!
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127124_tn?1326739035
Honey, I'm not mad at you.  Just telling you what you want to hear.
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Avatar_n_tn
did you read any of what i just posted before you jump on my troat...i am taking your advice, i just want to know what to do on how him to encourage him i'm cool it's him i'm asking about....  no need to be sacastic & harsh..:)
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Avatar_n_tn
did you read any of what i just posted before you jump on my troat...i am taking your advice, i just want to know what to do on how him to encourage him i'm cool it's him i'm asking about....  no need to be sacastic & harsh..:)
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127124_tn?1326739035
I'm hurt.  I wasn't being sarcastic or harsh.
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Avatar_n_tn
Lord yall are all crazy!! He he he!!  How come island gets so many comments...and I post a question yesterday and I got 1 answer! Geez..........Island really I dont know how to encourage him to go get a sperm analysis done if he dont want to.  Point out to him that tests for you are much harder and would save you some uncomfort!
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108334_tn?1253647995
YOU NEED TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH HIM! THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY DEEPER ISSUES HERE BESIDES A BABY. WORK THINGS OUT WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND OR FINACE OR WHATEVER HE IS. THERE IS NO NEED TO POST ALMOST THE SAME QUESTIONS DAILY, YOU GET THE SAME ADVICE EVERYDAY. MAYBE SOME RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING WILL HELP YOU TWO OUT. YOU CAN'T PUSH (OR ENCOURAGE AS YOU CALL IT) HIM TO DO ANYTHING!
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Avatar_n_tn
sorry darling....i thought you was mad at me (((huggs))):) we cool right???

cugirl: i asked myself the same thing just now, my threads are always filled to maximum...lol any way thanks for that advice i think i will explain to him how hard it is thanks again hon..

oh yeah thanks all you lovely ladies for all your adivces, the encouragement & love & oh yea don't forget the jokes...lol much island love coming your way...:)
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Avatar_n_tn
you see to him i'm pushing him, when i am actually encouraging him...i came to him with that same thing twice in the whole 19 mths of trying & he sees it at too much...men....lol can't please them imagine if we had only BD for twice in 19 mths what would he have said....LOL..
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