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No orgasm, physically desensitized?
Hi all!
I have a question that I can't seem to find the answer to. I'm twenty years old, and have been very aware of my body and what "feels good" from a VERY young age. However, I think I might have desensitized (if that's possible) myself.
I can NOT reach an orgasm in a reasonable amount of time without the use of a toy. I'm aware of what an orgasm is and I know when I'm having one. I've read multiple books, articles, etc, that tell you to relax, change your thoughts, technique, pace, etc. It takes me nearly an HOUR to orgasm if I'm not using any toys - so an orgasm during sex is basically impossible (we really have tried everything), it has never happened for me.
At first it didn't bother me and I brushed it off. But as I'm getting older, it's starting to bother me. I'm almost feeling jealous that I can't have an orgasm during sex, or without getting desperate or bored because it takes so long.
My boyfriend and I tried going to a sex-shop. I purchased a battery operated toy, and even that didn't work. The only thing I can find that works in a reasonable amount of time has to be plugged into a wall - batteries just don't produce enough power.
I have tried everything. I'm beginning to think that I started masturbating at an age too young, when my body was still developing, and I've somehow messed myself up. I discovered the shower head when I was 6 or 7 and used it nightly. I understand that children discover that part of themselves very young, but I don't know if going to the extremes that I did is normal or would have had any negative effect in the long run.
Is it possible that I've "desensitized" myself? I never think to ask my doctor when I go in for annual physicals, I always thought of it as a mental issue, but now I'm considering that it might possibly be something physical?
Thanks!
I have a question that I can't seem to find the answer to. I'm twenty years old, and have been very aware of my body and what "feels good" from a VERY young age. However, I think I might have desensitized (if that's possible) myself.
I can NOT reach an orgasm in a reasonable amount of time without the use of a toy. I'm aware of what an orgasm is and I know when I'm having one. I've read multiple books, articles, etc, that tell you to relax, change your thoughts, technique, pace, etc. It takes me nearly an HOUR to orgasm if I'm not using any toys - so an orgasm during sex is basically impossible (we really have tried everything), it has never happened for me.
At first it didn't bother me and I brushed it off. But as I'm getting older, it's starting to bother me. I'm almost feeling jealous that I can't have an orgasm during sex, or without getting desperate or bored because it takes so long.
My boyfriend and I tried going to a sex-shop. I purchased a battery operated toy, and even that didn't work. The only thing I can find that works in a reasonable amount of time has to be plugged into a wall - batteries just don't produce enough power.
I have tried everything. I'm beginning to think that I started masturbating at an age too young, when my body was still developing, and I've somehow messed myself up. I discovered the shower head when I was 6 or 7 and used it nightly. I understand that children discover that part of themselves very young, but I don't know if going to the extremes that I did is normal or would have had any negative effect in the long run.
Is it possible that I've "desensitized" myself? I never think to ask my doctor when I go in for annual physicals, I always thought of it as a mental issue, but now I'm considering that it might possibly be something physical?
Thanks!
I have this exact problem. I'm actually really having a hard time with it. Have you found anything out??
I have tried up to an hour of foreplay before hand.. It still doesn't work. I'm actually considering going to talk to a professional. It's not such a "burden" that it causes my sex drive to go down, but it does get a little frustrating at certain times of the month when I really just want to feel the way he does sometimes!
Thank you, though.
Thank you, though.
A lot of women have issues orgasming during sex without the aide of their hand, their partner's hand, or some toy. Are you getting enough foreplay beforehand? You'd be surprised how much faster that makes it come if you have more than usual and are more aroused.
I believe desensitization is possible as some women ruin their chance at a clitoral orgasm by having a piercing there that gives them near constant stimulation.
However, this probably isn't the case for you. It might just be that you need to play around with the type/amount of foreplay before you get to intercourse and positions as some positions lend more toward getting you some stimulation before you actually feel the need to touch yourself to make it happen.
I believe desensitization is possible as some women ruin their chance at a clitoral orgasm by having a piercing there that gives them near constant stimulation.
However, this probably isn't the case for you. It might just be that you need to play around with the type/amount of foreplay before you get to intercourse and positions as some positions lend more toward getting you some stimulation before you actually feel the need to touch yourself to make it happen.
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