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Sex/Orgasm/BCP
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Sex/Orgasm/BCP

Hello, Well this is part one of my post. (There's two but I"ll post them separate)
Ok well Part one: I had sex with my boyfriend yesturday and he said something that just had me wondering. We did it for almost 2 hours. No, it wasnt non-stop. We had certain breaks where he would pull out. I mean I was enjoying it, but he seemed to be more into it than me. Well, he finished(first than me like always). I wasnt done. He tried to finish me off by doing other things to me. But I wasnt anywhere close to being done...he said it was so hard to please me. Through out the other times we've had sex, I've NEVER been done....not even when he gives me oral I am done. He kinda gets mad because he leaves me on the hang, and I am left unfinished for days...(until we do it again)I've NEVER had an orgasm, I'm not sure if this is normal for me since I just started having sex about 2 months ago. But here's the weird part, when I play with myself in the shower, I am able to have an orgasm...what gives!?
I dont understand that....O_o
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Avatar_n_tn
Maybe you just aren't comfortable enough with him.  Your mind plays a lot in being able to orgasm.  When he is down there why don't you tell him what you like and what you don't like.  Maybe he isn't doing what you want and lets face it guys aren't mind readers.
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Avatar_f_tn
I know how guys are....lol. But I'm extremly comfy with him. Even when he does do the right things, btw I do tell him what I like and what I dont like; I enjoy it a lot. But not to the point were I orgasm....and its really messed up because he feels bad about it. I mean he did tell me that it takes a lot to please me. He feels as if he isnt doing "the job right" idk I guess its a guy thing....it js has me wondering why I havent had one...
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Avatar_n_tn
nobody likes listening to me cuz im younger, but i dont really care, i havent had an orgasm thru intercourse either, and my bf and i have done it a billion and ten times, and i love him, i really love him, but it just doesnt ever happen, i get around to it after hes done thru oral or something of the sort.but not with intercourse.but the wierd thing for me is that i enjoy sex.which most of us do....but i dont orgasm..... iunno, were all in the same boat somehow i guess.......well, thats all i got....but ur not alone with the whole lack of orgasm thing.it seems to be a pretty common issue.
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136956_tn?1363091289
Dont blame yourself for how he makes you feel.  Sometimes it takes time to find what brings an orgasm on.  How old are you?  I found that one you need to be comfortable with the person.  You need to try different things.  Men make me angry sometimes.  They get off everytime and would it kill them to once and awhile dedicate their time to a womens needs, no matter how long it takes.  I think that your boyfriend needs to try new things.
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Avatar_f_tn
men...men...men...That's one thing I've noticed though, my bf acts as if he puts me first. But I've noticed a few things from him already. I know that when we are spooning, somehow he finds a way and gets me started. He'll do things to me that he knows will turn me on and lead to that. I tell him we aren't going to do anything, and we do end up doing it. I hate it!!!! Once we start doing it, he's the one enjoying it the most. We've tried diff. positions and nothing. He's the one that finishes first. Gets me mad....bc it seems like when we see each other; its only bc he wants to get that from me. I dont know why I dont orgasm while we have sex or while I get oral. I am trully comfy with him. I get orgasms myself when I do what he couldnt do!!! I know B/C causes changes in the sex drive so I'm not sure if this B/C related.....
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79258_tn?1190634010
First of all, I understand both of your perspectives. I'm guessing you're both young and relatively inexperienced with partner sex. I'm also guessing that you're both putting the responsibility of your orgasm entirely on HIM, which makes things difficult for you both. Ultimately, you can only be responsible for your own orgasm, not anyone else's.

However, I also think that his comments about your taking too long/being difficult are only counterproductive at best. Orgasm requires being able to be in the moment and let go - and if you're thinking anything remotely like, "Gee, this is taking too long", or "I wish he'd do (whatever)", you're pretty much guaranteeing you aren't going to be able to orgasm, no matter what.

I think mainly you need to show him what makes you come. I'd suggest masturbating in front of him so he can see exactly what you like (which will also solve your orgasming with your partner issue ;-)). You can put his hands under or over yours, so he can feel the speed and pressure you need. He'll find that a HUGE turnon, you'll get to orgasm, and you'll dramatically improve your chances of his helping you orgasm. And since many people seem to think that you can't fantasize with your partners, I wanted to stress that you can fantasize about the same things you'd fantasize about alone :-)

Good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
I think only about 20% of women can have an orgasm from sex alone.  Most women need clitoral stimulation as well.  I can go off if my bf goes down on me and fingers me at the same time.  I can also go off during sex only if I have a vibrator thing on my clitoris.  You should try getting one of those because then you can go off together.  I have just a little egg sized thing that vibrates and it does the job.
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Avatar_n_tn
Most women don't have a orgasm through sex alone until at least the age of 30.
for some reason i don't know.
I know this was true for me, and I have also heard from
alot of other women...
so the story goes.. the older I get the better I feel..:)
maybe that will give you something to look forward to,
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Avatar_f_tn
hey.. try to stop playing with ur self in the shower or masturbation just stop it ok and try with ur bf again.. and plz stop thinking and relax the worrying feeling duringsex isnt a good idea try to relax try to stop thinking wat if event this time i don feel orgasm
just try ok.. dont masturbat ror play with urself.. oh and another thing which may help  think of something that turns u on already.. but not all the time so that u can enjoy it with ur bf
good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I read somewhere that it generally DOES take the woman longer to get off then the man. Aren't we just lucky that way? Also, I agree with the girl above me. Maybe if you stop masturbating you will want it more, therefore you will orgasm.
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Avatar_n_tn
well what works for my gurlfriend is alotta foreplay and its builds up the atmosphere and she wants it more that way so when im on top i go slow and kiss her neck and talk in her ear so shes not focusing so much on the sex shes focusing on the whole feeling and that way she orgasm really hard um women dont orgasm alot from just sex u need to interact with her idk if he'll get affended if u tell him this but thats all i can sugest good luck and  he has to have alotta stamina i have learned to make myself last for whole days and not *** lol my gurlfriend is really happy lol
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Avatar_n_tn
Dont feel bad hun not all women orgasm, I am 29 had 5 kids, started at 15yrs old and though my fiance tries his heart out, we read so many books and dr tips everything we can think of positions and all but I still have never had a vaginal (gspot) orgasm, I can clitoral but nothing during sex.....We have been together for over 5 yrs and still trying to the point of I went to see a Dr about it and found out that I may be one of the few percentage of women that just dont have a gspot...I have come to temrs with I may never have one but that dont stop me from enjoying sex just not as much as others do...Its still lots of fun and good exercise too lol
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