Aa
Why don't I feel anything down there
Hello. How are you? hopefully fine. My question is I'm 25 years old with a 5 year old and very sexually activate. I've had a boyfriend of a year. But the past few months there has been a number of problems:
1. When we have sex I don't feel his penis inside me. I know it goes in but after that I don't feel anything. I use to but now I don't. We've tried different positions and that doesn't help. I tried the kregel exercise and those also didn't work. We tried a vibrator and put it up in my vagina and I had no feeling there. What could be causing this?
2. My boyfriend also comes to quick and has been trying to work on it. He's tried to relax his mind and body and focus on other things but it doesn't work. At times he can go 5 minutes or less and he comes and I don't want to have sex again.
Can you please suggest what we can do?
1. When we have sex I don't feel his penis inside me. I know it goes in but after that I don't feel anything. I use to but now I don't. We've tried different positions and that doesn't help. I tried the kregel exercise and those also didn't work. We tried a vibrator and put it up in my vagina and I had no feeling there. What could be causing this?
2. My boyfriend also comes to quick and has been trying to work on it. He's tried to relax his mind and body and focus on other things but it doesn't work. At times he can go 5 minutes or less and he comes and I don't want to have sex again.
Can you please suggest what we can do?
Well, I'll grant you that your honesty seems to go both ways.
There IS something you can do. Kegels. Don't expect an overnight cure, but with time and effort you can regain lost muscle tone. If you're doing them already with no results, ask your doctor if you're doing them right. For instance, you need to consciously contract and relax... and you need to be sure that you've isolated the right muscle.
There IS something you can do. Kegels. Don't expect an overnight cure, but with time and effort you can regain lost muscle tone. If you're doing them already with no results, ask your doctor if you're doing them right. For instance, you need to consciously contract and relax... and you need to be sure that you've isolated the right muscle.
I went to the doctor and she said my vagina is loose and that comes from childbirth and sex. So really there is nothing I can do. I can deal with it but my boyfriend thinks I'm putting the blame on him. I'm not blaming him or anyone. That is just how things are.
Well he does support me and my son. He buys us whatever we need before himself. He asked the question so don't go off on me. He isn't mad that I told him the truth. I am the second person he's been with so he still has some learning to do.
We both love each other and that won't ever change. Honestly I wouldn't care what people would say about me. I'm so cocky it's not even funny. I have very tough skin.
What sex therpist works on weekends?
We both love each other and that won't ever change. Honestly I wouldn't care what people would say about me. I'm so cocky it's not even funny. I have very tough skin.
What sex therpist works on weekends?
Wow. How would you feel if he told you that you were a lousy partner? That your thighs are lumpy, or your breasts sag, or you're just too fat? What if he compared you to other partners, who had really amazing vaginas? Would you be grateful for his honesty and walk away feeling really good about yourself? What you did was just plain mean. Don't try to justify it by saying you're just honest--that's not honesty, that's cruelty.
You clearly don't care about this guy; why not let him go so he can find someone else, someone who might feel differently? Give the poor guy a chance to be with someone who can care about him and appreciate his sexuality. I'm not even a little surprised that the methods you've tried for his rapid ejaculation haven't worked. My god. I only hope he's not supporting you.
It doesn't matter that you live in separate towns. I think you'd both benefit from seeing a sex therapist, even if you see different therapists at different times. You both have major misconceptions about sex and relationships; sex therapy can help.
You clearly don't care about this guy; why not let him go so he can find someone else, someone who might feel differently? Give the poor guy a chance to be with someone who can care about him and appreciate his sexuality. I'm not even a little surprised that the methods you've tried for his rapid ejaculation haven't worked. My god. I only hope he's not supporting you.
It doesn't matter that you live in separate towns. I think you'd both benefit from seeing a sex therapist, even if you see different therapists at different times. You both have major misconceptions about sex and relationships; sex therapy can help.
I only get pleasure from oral sex and nothing else. When we have sex my mind is clear that I don't think about anything. Like when i get on top I know his penis goes in and after that I don't feel a darn thing. He feels it and comes but it does nothing for me. I wouldn't get cut down there no way. But he did ask what I thought about our sex life and what I thought about his size. So that is his fault not mine. He asked I just gave him an answer. I'm a very honest person who doesn't beat around the bush or sugar coat things. I believe you should keep it real and tell the truth. Truth hurts but hey you have to deal with it.
He is depressed and sad all the time because of this. He has only been with one other person before me and he's 26. I've been with a lot of people and just started ogasming at the age of 24 from my ex. He's tried to stop method where he will go for a while then pull out and jack off. Don't work. We have bought sex books for different positions and that damn sure didn't work. The **** rings work but that is a hassel to put them on every time we have sex you know. But he was saying he wants to try the cream and I shot it down. He got upset because all his ideas we never do and we do mine. But common sense and researching on the net tells you that if you put something that is suppose to numb or give you pleasure down; and you already have a problem not feeling anything that it won't work.
I thought about attacthments and the pump. But when I asked about it before he got upset and cried. He is not using them for pleasure but to help him perform better in bed. It's to the point now he doesn't want to have sex. So guess I'll be playing a lot of video games and reading books. Therpay wouldn't work because we live 100 miles away and see each other on weekends so that option is out. And I'm going to the doctor because I don't work right now so I have time to kill. He has to find time to take off one or both of his jobs, then find a doctor and go. He is kind of scared and embarssed to talk about his problems to a doctor.
Again thanks ladies for the advice. I hope things will get better.
He is depressed and sad all the time because of this. He has only been with one other person before me and he's 26. I've been with a lot of people and just started ogasming at the age of 24 from my ex. He's tried to stop method where he will go for a while then pull out and jack off. Don't work. We have bought sex books for different positions and that damn sure didn't work. The **** rings work but that is a hassel to put them on every time we have sex you know. But he was saying he wants to try the cream and I shot it down. He got upset because all his ideas we never do and we do mine. But common sense and researching on the net tells you that if you put something that is suppose to numb or give you pleasure down; and you already have a problem not feeling anything that it won't work.
I thought about attacthments and the pump. But when I asked about it before he got upset and cried. He is not using them for pleasure but to help him perform better in bed. It's to the point now he doesn't want to have sex. So guess I'll be playing a lot of video games and reading books. Therpay wouldn't work because we live 100 miles away and see each other on weekends so that option is out. And I'm going to the doctor because I don't work right now so I have time to kill. He has to find time to take off one or both of his jobs, then find a doctor and go. He is kind of scared and embarssed to talk about his problems to a doctor.
Again thanks ladies for the advice. I hope things will get better.
i did some research and you are correct removing the clitoral hood or foreskin is mutilation.here are some informative links.
LaStar00 do not get circumcised.no one should get circumcised.
LaStar00 do not get circumcised.no one should get circumcised.
her first post didn't say she had pleasure from oral sex.that is what i responded to.do you really think removing the prepuce of a woman or man is mutilation?i thought they were helpfull.
okay, first off numbing you is not going to help you feel more.
they do make condoms that have a numbing cream in them for him. then he would last longer. also at adult stores you can find all sorts of attachments and things to either make his penis temporarily bigger or to attach as an extension to make him longer.
i think it is a mental hang up personally.
btw, not criticizing at all, but in the future sometimes sugar coating the truth for a guy about his size will save everyone some hurt feelings. :)
they do make condoms that have a numbing cream in them for him. then he would last longer. also at adult stores you can find all sorts of attachments and things to either make his penis temporarily bigger or to attach as an extension to make him longer.
i think it is a mental hang up personally.
btw, not criticizing at all, but in the future sometimes sugar coating the truth for a guy about his size will save everyone some hurt feelings. :)
I have played wtih virbator on my clit and I orgasm from that. When we have sex my mind is so clear it feels like air. I don't know if we could do sex therpay. We live in different cities and that's hard enough. He lives 100 miles away and is only here on weekends. I have all the feeling and sensesation in my clirtors just none in my vagina. Hopefully this doctor can tell me something Thurs. If not I'm go see another doctor. I rather see a female doctor because she has the same organs I do and can understand more. Maybe I'm wierd and don't like talking to a male doctor about what is wrong with me down there? Is there a difference?
One day he asked me how I thought about his size and sex life. I let the truth come out and said he's too small, and I don't feel anything and I hate it when he comes that I don't want to ever have sex again. Since then everything has been downhill. It's to the point where neither one of us wants to have sex anymore. We're lucky if I want to have sex once let alone two times in one weekend.
Yes I have a child and he really doesn't stress me at all. I was in school early and I didn't get stress from that because my classes were easy. I really don't stress myself out much. I work out daily at the gym to lose weight and feel fit.
My boyfriend was talking about putting a cream on me to numb my vagina or something. Has anyone tried it? Does it work? I don't think it will. We are also thinking about getting a pump but will that make any difference honestly?
He cries and thinks about this daily and it hurts his self-esteem (what little he has if any at all). So I kind of want to see what the problem is and solve it. I don't know if its me who is the problem or him?
One day he asked me how I thought about his size and sex life. I let the truth come out and said he's too small, and I don't feel anything and I hate it when he comes that I don't want to ever have sex again. Since then everything has been downhill. It's to the point where neither one of us wants to have sex anymore. We're lucky if I want to have sex once let alone two times in one weekend.
Yes I have a child and he really doesn't stress me at all. I was in school early and I didn't get stress from that because my classes were easy. I really don't stress myself out much. I work out daily at the gym to lose weight and feel fit.
My boyfriend was talking about putting a cream on me to numb my vagina or something. Has anyone tried it? Does it work? I don't think it will. We are also thinking about getting a pump but will that make any difference honestly?
He cries and thinks about this daily and it hurts his self-esteem (what little he has if any at all). So I kind of want to see what the problem is and solve it. I don't know if its me who is the problem or him?
are you serious?her problem is internal sensation, she has oral sex orgasms so her clitoral area is clearly working well. did you even read the websites you recommended? this is an excerpt from one of them. .
Additional Indications
The following situations would indicate the need for circumcision although less phimosis or redundancy is present.
1. If the patient is quite adipose(adipose=fat), a circumcision could be indicated although she has less anatomic defect. Obstruction by the adjacent tissues adds to her problem. This operation may help cure her adiposity by relieving psychosomatic factors.
2. If the husband is unusually awkward or difficult to educate, one should at times make the clitoris easier to find.
3. If the clitoris is quite small and is difficult to contact, a circumcision might help by making it more accessible.
so if you are fat, your husband is awkward or just not so bright and/or you have a small clitoris you should undergo genital mutilation to enhance his ability to "find" your clitoris?!
please don't consider this type of thing LaStarr. these types of procedures are more common in third world countries where they are used to eliminate clitoral sensation and stop the females desire to commit adultery since sex is without clitoral stimulation afterwards. nerve damage is common in this .
i think psychological counseling is a great idea for both of you
Additional Indications
The following situations would indicate the need for circumcision although less phimosis or redundancy is present.
1. If the patient is quite adipose(adipose=fat), a circumcision could be indicated although she has less anatomic defect. Obstruction by the adjacent tissues adds to her problem. This operation may help cure her adiposity by relieving psychosomatic factors.
2. If the husband is unusually awkward or difficult to educate, one should at times make the clitoris easier to find.
3. If the clitoris is quite small and is difficult to contact, a circumcision might help by making it more accessible.
so if you are fat, your husband is awkward or just not so bright and/or you have a small clitoris you should undergo genital mutilation to enhance his ability to "find" your clitoris?!
please don't consider this type of thing LaStarr. these types of procedures are more common in third world countries where they are used to eliminate clitoral sensation and stop the females desire to commit adultery since sex is without clitoral stimulation afterwards. nerve damage is common in this .
i think psychological counseling is a great idea for both of you
Oh. The size comment probably triggered most of this for both of you. Definitely do see a sex therapist and get him that book I mentioned (he also talks about penis size).
And most women are only orgasmic through clitoral stimulation...
And most women are only orgasmic through clitoral stimulation...
I definitely don't think you need clitoral unhooding or anything like that. I think a lot (actually, almost all) of sex is mental. I also think that it's incredibly easy to become conditioned to just about anything sexual, without even realizing it.
Since your bf is having problems with coming too fast, is it possible you've tried to stop squeezing/moving/enjoying penetration because you KNOW he's going to come too fast? Or vice versa? It's hard to tell which could have happened first, because either one could feed the other issue. If he's worried or anxious about your not feeling or enjoying intercourse, it could trigger his rapid ejaculation. If you're worried about his coming too fast, it could trigger your lack of sensation. Does that make sense? I just woke up, so I'm not sure I explained that right, lol.
What are you thinking during sex/penetration? Are you thinking, "Man, I'm not going to be able to feel anything again..." or worried that you won't, or thinking something is wrong with you, or anything along those lines? If so, it's a virtually sure thing you're not going to feel or enjoy it. If you're not thinking about sex and feeling sexual mentally, then chances are you're not going to feel sexual physically.
What happened around the time this changed for you? Relationship issues, children issues, anything? Are you still orgasmic from clitoral stimulation? How about when you masturbate? Have you tried penetration when your bf's not around, and you have time to just explore yourself without any pressure or concern?
On a semi-final note, have you seen your doctor to verify that it's not a physical issue, and that you're doing your kegels correctly? I don't really think that's the issue, especially if it's a new issue and you can't think of a triggering point (i.e. pelvic surgery that could have resulted in nerve damage, etc.).
I do think you'd both benefit from seeing a sex therapist, just to help you both figure this all out. Sex is way too important to let it go. That said, I also think that until you get this figured out, it'd be important to make sure you do lots of other activities both of you find pleasurable. Lots of oral, toys, and cut way back on the intercourse for a while; sex issues can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh--and suggest your bf read Great Sex, by Michael Castleman. He discusses rapid ejaculation at length, as well as just about every other issue a straight guy could imagine :-)
Since your bf is having problems with coming too fast, is it possible you've tried to stop squeezing/moving/enjoying penetration because you KNOW he's going to come too fast? Or vice versa? It's hard to tell which could have happened first, because either one could feed the other issue. If he's worried or anxious about your not feeling or enjoying intercourse, it could trigger his rapid ejaculation. If you're worried about his coming too fast, it could trigger your lack of sensation. Does that make sense? I just woke up, so I'm not sure I explained that right, lol.
What are you thinking during sex/penetration? Are you thinking, "Man, I'm not going to be able to feel anything again..." or worried that you won't, or thinking something is wrong with you, or anything along those lines? If so, it's a virtually sure thing you're not going to feel or enjoy it. If you're not thinking about sex and feeling sexual mentally, then chances are you're not going to feel sexual physically.
What happened around the time this changed for you? Relationship issues, children issues, anything? Are you still orgasmic from clitoral stimulation? How about when you masturbate? Have you tried penetration when your bf's not around, and you have time to just explore yourself without any pressure or concern?
On a semi-final note, have you seen your doctor to verify that it's not a physical issue, and that you're doing your kegels correctly? I don't really think that's the issue, especially if it's a new issue and you can't think of a triggering point (i.e. pelvic surgery that could have resulted in nerve damage, etc.).
I do think you'd both benefit from seeing a sex therapist, just to help you both figure this all out. Sex is way too important to let it go. That said, I also think that until you get this figured out, it'd be important to make sure you do lots of other activities both of you find pleasurable. Lots of oral, toys, and cut way back on the intercourse for a while; sex issues can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh--and suggest your bf read Great Sex, by Michael Castleman. He discusses rapid ejaculation at length, as well as just about every other issue a straight guy could imagine :-)
I have orgasm from oral sex and nothing else. When he puts his penis inside my vagina I don't feel it go in or nothing anymore. I use to. Maybe it has something to do because he asked how I viewed his size and I told him he's small. I use to feel it go in and knew it was moving in and out but no more. I'm going to the doctor Thurs to see what's going on.
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