oh and let me add, I also had a problem with over thinking the situation..so just try and relax and enjoy! :)
I used to have a problem getting an orgasm too. Then i got myself a lil vibrator friend and did some experimentation(fun stuff lol) but i was able to find out both what i liked and didn't like and how to pleasure myself. Then of course I was able to tell hubby how to pleasure me too(yay). I still can only have them through clitoral stimulation, but that's true of most women.
Have you tried a vibrator? Get one that has an extra nub on it specifically designed for stimulating the clit, I can pretty much guarantee that'll do the trick!!