dry intercourse

[super diamond]

I am having a problem well I think it is a problem, most the time when my bf and I are having sex I am always dry, even right after he proforms oral sex and he gets ready to do his thing I get so dry and it hurts during and after, at first i didnt mind it but after some time he started to use his finger and after he does that it hurts and when he puts his penis in it hurts even worse, i dont want to not have sex with him but it as become a bad experience with us having sex over and over and I am still dry. What can I do to not be dry whenever I am having sex, I really would like to enjoy sex much more. ALso I know I am not the only one as a problem having a orgasm, can someone help me in finding a way to get a orgasm during intercourse, i want to enjoy it like everyone else.

[AnnieBrooke]

Well, you are certainly not going to get to orgasm with intercourse if you are having dryness and pain.  Ick!  Can't think of anything less sexy.  As far as dryness is concerned, what lubes have you tried?  There is KY Jelly, any number of flavored products, and even Vaseline.  Don't hesitate to try them; sex should not be a painful penance that you do to please your ingrate boyfriend.  (I use the word because he sounds like he isn't very concerned that sex is no fun for you.)  If you are on birth-control pills, they might be why you aren't getting natural lubrication, it's not a big deal, just get the KY or the others and try them.  If you are using condoms, use LUBRICATED condoms.  (I assume you are not having unprotected sex.)  Good luck, I'm sure everyone will recommend you buy yourself some nice lubrication.

[Teresainpain]

Just a quick note that Vaseline is not a good idea to use if you will be using condoms.  You need a water based lubricant since the oil in the vaseline can weaken the condom.  KY has a number of different lubes out right now...ones that are warming and ones that are flavored...ones that tingle...ones that prolong orgasm and others that are just standard lubricants.  I have tried the warming one and it might be a good idea because the heat sensation it creates helps with more blood flow to the "area"...you will automatically be more turned on and will probably find it easier to achieve orgasm. The good thing about the lubes that they have out right now is that they are mucy more fun than they used to be so if you introduce the idea of it to your bf it seems like you are kinky and fun (rather than seeming like you need to buy lubes because of some sort of problem).  Also, Durex has a condom with "sensi-cream" and it is a regular condom with a silky lubricant on it.  Using that may help on its own.  And just a note too that you don't have a problem.  Some women produce more lubrication than others and every women has times when they produce less than at other times.  My suggestion is to play with a few different kinds of lubes and condoms and see what works best for you!  Best of luck to you and have fun!

[dani_dar]

Vaseline is not a good idea it is heavier and can stay inside, it can also cause infections. KY jelly is the way to go you can also find other lubracants online and differant sex toy sites that are just as good. Good Luck and have fun.

[BabeMuneca]

There is also AstroGlide. It isn't or doesn't feel as "messy" as KY. It's also not that expensive and can be found like at Target or Wal-Mart or even Walgreen's.

[2sweet_4words]

I agree with the last post....Astroglide is the way to go.  KY can leave a residue, where the Astroglide doesn't at all.  As far as achieving orgasm during intercourse, you're not the only women who can't do that with intercourse alone.  Lots of women need additional stimulation.  I used to be just like you - I thought that intercourse should definitely be enough.  I'm sure it can be for some, but when talking with my friends, I find that we all need a little "help".  Have you ever tried a small vibrator?  Those can be used along with intercourse, and will most likely really turn your man on!!  Are you able to achieve orgasm by yourself?

[justlittleolme]

definatly use a lube. I didnt and had very dry intercourse (and a lot of it) and I have a gland cyst caused by it. It doesnt hurt but its a bump down under and I hate it. The worst part is that the GYN said it may never go away... and I'm believing him since its been over a month and I still have it :o(

Never will I have dry rough sex again

[super diamond]

Thanks for all your advice the KY as worked, and i will be try all the other things your guys have suggested ok, thanks alot. It was the best experience I have ever had and my bf was very happy too :)

[Jelous]

what about if the lubricant still doesn't work and your still dry what else is there it's not like I'm not turn on or anything and I enjoy it and it doesn't hurt just dry.  Why would that be happening but right after sex I'm very wet and lubricated.

[SexKittin]

I have the same problem not getting wet before intercourse. My boyfriend feels that i dont enjoy or want to have sex with him anymore. I use lube eventually, and i will get wet after we start having intercourse, but is there a reason I cant get wet before sex, even if i masterbate and ***, im still not wet.

[jangel77]

I have a problem...when I'm having sex with my b/f I get wet at first but then I dry up...it makes me and him very upset...he tends to think its because I have other things on my mind but I'm not so sure. I try to focus on sex but I start thinking about my body and what about if I'm not riding him the right way??? Girls I really need help and I not sure how to get my mind right... you know to let my self GO!!
When I'm drinking I feel I stay wet because I feel like I can do whatever and blame the drinks...I guess it is me thinking...OH I don't know...but it is putting a lot of stress on the 2 of us.

[super girl]

Im the same, its really getting me down. iv been with my bf two years n hes started t think th reason we're not havin as much sex is bcus of him, but its cus i find it so difficult to get wet, n th more i think about it th worse i get. i also find clitoral stimulation rarely works for me n iv nevr had an orgasm. I just want to get wet like i used to and ebjoy sex!

[Evie1963]

A great way to achieve orgasm during intercourse is first get your bf to bring you to orgasm first, either through oral sex or manual stimulation, then immediately have him penetrate you - him on top, so there is good clitoral contact. ;) Good Luck.

[saturnine]

hey guys are you on birth control? i can be horny as all get out, and be totally dry. it's the damn pills. use astroglide. trust me..it works wonders. my gyno also recommended "replens." you can get it at target and walmart..it's a suppository that you put in your vagina that moisterizes everything up there..i've also found that REALLY helpful. it's not a douche or anything, just a moisterizer, and it won't interfere with your condom reliability. :)

[michelle_001]

Im also not sure what my prob is, thats why i came across this website as i was searching for info on dry vagina. whenever my bf and i want to have sex, im always, i mean always dry... even though i feel so turned on, n i keep thinking maybe im not turned on enough!? but after checking out some other websites, i learned that not every woman is born the same way, you could be very turned on but still have a dry vagina (though i somehow still believe that i'm not turned on enough). ive been using KY for as long as i can remember, does anyone kno if its bad for our body? i mean if a person uses it so often and would it stay inside the body? maybe it could lead to cancer or something like that in the future? seriously ive always wanted to use less and less and hoped that eventually i'll be able to get rid of it. but my vagina is still dry. and my bf does think that i don't enjoy having sex with him that much. i think i've reached orgasm (clit), but it always happens before we even have intercourse. i know it could be a turn-off for him, but i know i wouldnt have orgasm when we have our intercourse since i never got any orgasm inside my vagina, so id rather have one before the intercourse... one more thing even though i've achieved orgasm, i always hv a feeling that it could be even better. i dont know why, i want to have that very "complete and satified" feeling... which is something i don't feel after sex. basically the most importnt part for me is th foreplay and the clitoris stimulation, and i dont really feel so sexy after my orgasm, is that normal? because ive already achieved it? i heard women can have multiple orgasms... ive always wanted to reach that, but i just dont really feel i want to have more sex after my orgasm while its just started for my bf. and for those who havnt had an orgasm, try to be more confident in yourself during sex, i think the key is to feel wanted and sexy, and i think for women, we all need to "tune" our mind because we are not easily turned on by just having physical contact, our mind is very important in order to reach orgasm, maybe having some sexual fantasies before intercourse is good, just do everything to make urself feel attractive like all the time, telll yourself that you are sexy, and u will be sexy when you do it with him! so first thing is mind, then physical stimulation. my first orgasm came when i was only 18, im 24 now, we didnt even have intercourse that time, but at that moment i felt so wanted by my bf, and he didn't even touch my clitoris with his finger or anything, i think it just sort of got rubbed by his body, my mind made me have the orgasm and i'd never had anything like that before! but ever since i never had any orgasm during intercourse, only clitoris stimulation can get me to climax, and sometimes its not easy to have orgasm when im stressed out and thinking about other things, or not in a good mood, in order to have an orgasm, i think ur mind needs to be so ready for sex. sometimes it just comes too fast and leaves me wanting more, my problem is i did have orgasms, but i dont think they are the best orgasms!! : ( i think girls have a long way to learn about our body and mind and what fantasies or clothes make us feel hot, and ive got a lot more to learn. or you girls should try to explore on your own! that way u'll get to know more about diff sensitive spots. oh and i think i can only get my orgasms when im on top and rubbng my clit against his body since i hate to be touched directly, it is a bit painful when he touches my clit like directly, and i think keeping ur thighs closer helps (when you r on top on him)!  i think i'll enjoy sex even more when im fully confident with myself and my body, im looking forward to achieving that.

[super man]

Woman need to learn how to have an orgasm before you can teach a man how to do it. Most men have no idea what to do. Get to reading on the internet lot's of info. It took my wife and I some time to get in tune with one another. This is one thing you dont want to just leave it up to the man. Need to tell him how to please you.  

[lovely37]

I also be so dry before sex, i am usually wet before then, but know i am not so what can i do to atleast be wet before sex.

[faithfullyburton88]

I have some of the same problems....my boyfriend and I will have foreplay, and I can be as wet as can be...but half way through sex i'll go completely dry!! My brains telling me i'm still turned on, down there..not so much. I definetely can't come to orgasm during sex either. It's even difficult to orgasm when he gives oral..or it'd take so long i'd feel horrible. All he wants to do is please me and thinks it's all "in my head" and i stress out too much, which i know is false. He's asked me to finish on my own before,...which i can do,...but for some reason with sex I can't. I'd rather have him bring me to the edge. I feel guilty doing it myself when he's laying there.

[christina86]

i have been having problems with dryness for the past 7 months me and my fiance never had a problem while we first stated making love now what happens is i get very wet im so in to it and i try to let go and not think and then all of a sudden even thou im sooooooooooooo turned on i get dry y does this happened y in the begining of my relationship with him i had no problem and now for the past 7 months this is happening and sometimes i dont even realize it is there any way i can restore myself to how i can stop getting dry with out using any lubrication or ill never get back to how i use to be y is this happening? please helpppppppppp

[missmess8]

I've been doing various internet searches, trying to find an answer to my problems. (I wonder how people dealt with life before the internet. Seriously...) I deal with all of the things that every one has mentioned. Too dry for sex. Not turned on. Stressed out. Mind elsewhere. Not confident enough. Don't think I'm sexy. Too afraid to show him how to do it right. Too embarrassed to do it myself. The list goes on. And I still haven't found a fool-proof answer to anything (except that lube does work). But one thing that I've found is that it feels REALLY good to know that I'm not the only one. I feel so relieved just knowing that there isn't something "wrong" with me and that lots of other women all over the world are dealing with the same issues.

[mararee1]

well, im now 19 yrs old, and i've been sexually active for about five or six years.  When i first start having sex, being wet was natural, and the men loved it.  I always had orgasms, the men always had one, so we both were satisfied.  Now, its like what the hell.  I could feel myself getting dryer and dryer with every sexual incounter.  I heard about astroglide, so i went and bought some at a local cvs, for about eight dollars, and i haven't used it yet.  I messed around with a guy from sixteen to eighteen, and we haven't had sex since.  Well now he's back in my life, and wants to have sex, i want it soo bad, but im scared the astroglide wont work! Someone that has used it, please let me know whats the longest you've lasted using the product.  I havent had sex since i was eighteen, im going on twenty, and im going crazy! the tips will be so helpful..

[bexy84]

found this category and thought i may be of some help. Had similar problems, went to doctor after doctor about it and nothing worked, they told me to stop using perfumed shower gels, use lubricant etc. etc. Finally went to a specialist when it started causing problems in my relationship (totally went off the idea of sex as it hurt so much) turns out i had an oestrogen deficiency, no one picked it up before because its very common in menopausal women, but i was only 24... also, i was on a very low oestrogen pill - so that wasn't helping. Got a localised oestrogen cream whcih really helped and have now come off pill, it is no longer a problem. It may be worth checking for this.

Hope this helps, i know it can be extremely upsetting x

[stevensgurl]

I have the same problem. I actually jus got done having intercourse and I couldn't orgasm and neither could my bf. He finally asked me today "do I not turn u on?" I kinda felt embarrassed. This has been happening for 3 months now. I really love him and I don't understand why I dry out so bad during intercourse. I get completely wet before and we have tried foreplay but it doesn't work. I don't want him to feel like its his fault and I want to make him happy. I also thought it was jus me cuz I don't drink enough water. But reading ur comments I think I will try the lube.

[snoopy820]

Hun, you would have far better, wetter sex if you learned to punctuate.

[Myron_Long]

I bet every women on this forum thats complaining they can't get wet before sex or stay wet during sex or reach an orgasm are women who can get off on their own (self-pleasure)

Even though it's considered normal and healthy, You be surprised what psychological effects you can get from masturbation (self-pleasure) from doing it for years.

If you're one of these women that can get off on your own but not with real sex, you need to refrain from self-pleasure for at least 30 days to re-programmed your mind on how it thinks when it comes to sex.

This goes for men too! You know... The men that say they can maintain an erection or reach an orgasm thru self-pleasure but they're a dud in the bedroom when it comes to real sex.

I use to masturbate all the time, experiencing bad erections and performance anxiety, but when I decided to quit masturbation for at least 30 days, all of that nonsense stopped.

Till this day, I DO NOT MASTURBATE.

GL!