in case anyone cares....

[ummabdu]

well i posted twice on this board hoping to get some comfort and understanding or advice from others that have been on this board and possibly in the same boat as me, but unfortunately I didn't get any replies.  Of course, i am not looking for a diagnosis, but it would have been nice to hear from someone who i could relate to.  anyway--i thought i would share anyway that i got my period today.  and i just want to curl into a ball and cry and cry and cry.  i think i kind of knew in the back of my mind, that i'm not pregnant but i wanted it sooooooooooooo bad.  it's been almost ten months that i have been trying to conceive with no luck.  i think i might have endometriosis and i'm going to ask my doctor.  but i think i am losing all hope.  it just seems so impossible at this point.

[jacksynn]

We all have to sit back..and be truly greatful for what we have.
Not focus on what we don't.
I too have 2 beautiful happy healthy lil' men...
And we would love to have another....only time will tell.
I have come to the realization that I may never have another...
I am truly greatful for the 3 men in my life..and although we may never be blessed with the joy..
of a 3rd...thats ok.
You will be ok....focus on you and your health...get your issues checked with your dr.
And it will happen when it does...until then....enjoy life!
And when it does....post your BFP...
Love Jack

[ummabdu]

thanks jacksynn.  i guess i should be more greatful--and i am very very greatful that i am blessed with a beautiful baby boy already.  but i just worry about him growing up alone.  i had three sisters and my brother comes from a big family as well and i didnt want my son to be all grown up before getting a brother or sister.  i guess its just that when you think you cant have something you want it even more!  i know its kind of silly when you think of all the people that are having so many problems just conceiving their first.  for now, i have decided, i dont want to think about TTC too much.  my doctor asked me to come in right before my next period will be due so until then i just want to go back to enjoying being intimate with my husband just for the sake of being close to him, and just let things happen as they may.  i hope your recovery goes well.

shamila

[tiredbuthappy]

i only tried for 6 months, but i found even that to be extremely frustrating. it consumes every part of your life. strangly, like the first poster said, looking back i see now that the timing is now perfect, and if i had conceived earlier i would have missed out on the career opportunity of a lifetime, a career move that helps ensure stability for my family for the future (not to mention the fact that i am so happy with my new job). i'm not really religious or anything, but i now see it was all a part of god's plan for me. it was like all the pieces fell into place at the same time.

this forum is full of women in the same position as you. and if you hop over to the maternal and child health forum, you will find even more who are experiencing frustration ttc. but please don't take it personally if no one responds to you. i generally only reply to posts that i have personal experience with or feel i may be able to provide helpful advice. i also don't have all day to read posts, so some days i will only read those whose subject lines catch my eye as something i can relate to. i am sure this is the same for many of the people on the site. good luck, stay strong, and be sure to relax a little and enjoy all the fun that can come along with ttc.

[jacksynn]

Honestly...I didn't know much about it before hand.
I had surgery a week ago and they found it and removed it...or treated while they were in there.
I have many posts on here...since Jan...TTC...too many symptoms...lack of period and other prego symptoms.
I have since found out that all my misery was from the cyst or the endo...I think it is worth  looking into.
I would've said the pain that comes with your period could be a cyst...but you already had that checked...
???
I am sorry I have no answers...I still don't know much about endo.
I'm sure once I am feeling better I'll be posting my own questions about it.
Good Luck!
And remember...it will happen for you when it is meant to.
I know it can be frustrating..we started ttc in Sept...now I have no idea when it is possible to start again...months?...who knows....all I know is that things happen in life for a reason...we sometimes never know why....they just do.
You will know why you had to wait....when you hold your baby for the first time...
The wait was for the perfect one!
Love Jack

[ummabdu]

thanks for all your posts.  i guess i was just venting on here a little.  it was a combination of disappointment and pms.  i'm not sure if i have endometriosis, but i am trying to come up with explanations as to why i havent conceived.  not that i want it or anything.  it's just that my periods are irregular to begin with, and the cramping is REALLY bad, which it never used to be in prior stages of my life, and i have this constant pain in my lower left abdomen.  it usually comes a week or two before my period.  when it's there, it's there for at least 1/2 a day.  and when it's not, it'll go away for days.  yesterday, right before i started my period i got the same sharp pain and it was terrible.  i never used to have this pain, so i have been trying to figure out what it could be.  my physician had checked to make sure it didnt have to do with my bowel system and my ovaries looked fine in an ultrasound.  but, i just feel like something isn't right.  that's why i was thinking it might be endometriosis after doing some online research.  jacksynn, you said you had endometriosis--can you tell me if i might be in the right direction with my guess.  i mean does it sound familiar to you at all.

[aimntrev]

I'm so sorry you got your period. I know that is the worse feeling ever, every month my period came or I POAS and got a negative I would lay down and cry all day long. BUT this just wasn't your month, it will happen for you! If you think you have endometris (sp?) you should have your doc check that out because that could be what's causing you problems. And once you get that figured out that will help you. Believe me if your body isn't ready for a pregnancy, you don't want to get pregnant then lose that pregnancy, take it from me, I had a miscarriage. Also, I'm sorry nobody answered your questions. I normally try to get on and help answer some that I know anything about as does all the girls on here.   I hope you can figure out if you have endometris and if not hopefully since you've been trying for close to a year your doctors can do things to help you along. Good luck and lots of baby dust to you!

[jacksynn]

I am so sorry sweetie.
I am not familiar with your post...not sure when you posted ...I haven't been on here all that much lately.
I do know that all the girls on here do the very best to answer and try to give advice when able to.
Don't give up hope.
I too have had many many set backs and just had my own health issues...that will set me back even farther.
Do not let this consume you.
I thank God...now...that I did not conceive...I now know why...it was obviously not meant to be.
I just had a large cyst removed from my ovary and also was treated for endometriosis.
I can't imagine being pregnant...I'm sure it would not sustain.
Make an appt. with your dr. and go from there.
I wish you all the best.
Good Luck!
Love Jack