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just found out I'm pregnant! what now?
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just found out I'm pregnant! what now?

I am 21 yrs of age and I just found out that I am pregnant by way of an at home test. two of them! I am definitely having symptoms and I'm scared to death! I was going to take the abortion pill then had a major discussion with my boyfriend and decided to keep the baby. we're excited, but both young and unsure of what to do now. we live in Washington now, and want to move to salem to be closer to family. I've been told about this program called NOAH that helps single pregnant women move, but couldn't find it online. I don't know how to get on insurance or if I even can. could someone please help me out with some resources? any help would be greatly appreciated. even advice on how I should tell my mother that I'm going to be an unwed mother who's only had her boyfriend for two months would be helpful..... I could really use some help in anyway that anybody can give. I have plenty of books and research, but they don't really make up for real life experience!
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134578_tn?1404951303
Honey, the first thing to do if you do not plan to marry your boyfriend is to have a serious talk with your parents.  It takes a lot to raise a child, and if he is not going to be in the picture and you don't intend to put the baby up for adoption, who will be there to help you but them?  Catch a bus and go home, and sit down with your parents, and simply explain to them what has happened and what you intend to do.  I am sorry to say, there is no easy answer for where you are.  Several posters on this site have walked in your shoes, and some have kept the baby, but none of them has said it was easy.  They love their child but lost a lot of their youth, and had to work really hard to make ends meet, and fulfilling their plans for themselves was tough to work in.  So catch that Greyhound and go see your family, and have that discussion.  I hope you and they together can put together a good plan for you.
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Avatar_n_tn
Look into getting Medicaid for your pregnancy...it covers up to two months after the baby is born.  Most likely you will qualify...I was about $1000 over making too much to qualify.  I am 22 and a college student and my husband works full time and he just got laid off this year when I found out I was pregnant.  Go to your local health department.  You need to go ahead and start going to prenatal appts...and get your prenantals its very important to take them in the first 3 months.  
You may also qualify for WIC...the website is http://www.wicprogram.org/
Theres also many companies that will send you free samples and coupons.  Huggies, Luvs, and pampers will send free diapers and coupons...but store brands work just as well and are cheaper. But why not use the free ones?  Gerber sends out coupons for onsies and such.  Enfamil sends out free coupons and cans of formula.  Ive also gotten several free bibs from companies like beechnut...they also send out coupons.
Babies dont need all these fancy things you see in stores.  They dont need boppys, highchairs, changing tables, pack n plays, swings, etc.  They just need love.  A friend of mine couldnt afford a highchair so when hubby wont home to help her feed the baby she just put him in his car seat and it worked well.  You dont even need a crib...theres many ladies on here that will tell you they couldnt afford one till later on and they made do with what they had.  You have 9 months to prepare for this little ones arrival...take that time and do what you need.  Put money aside every week so that the expense will not be as great. But if you wait till you have enough money to have a baby...the time may never be right.  And if this was true there would be alot less people with babies.
Sit down with your mom and tell her what happened..tell her you want to be honest and upfront with her and that you plan on keeping the baby and rasing him/her to the best of your ability. She cant stay mad at you forever...tell her you need her support thru this difficult time and want her to stand behind you and your decision.  But if she refuses then maybe she will turn around when she holds her grandchild for the first time..and if she doesnt maybe your child is better off without her as a grandparent.  But give her time, people make mistakes everyday and you are at least owning up to what happened and preparing to take care of your child.
I thought my mom would be upset when I told her I was pregnant.  I was 21 when I told her and a full time college student and school is very importnant to her and she wants me to get a degree.  But I told her I was going to take a  semester off and all and she was very understanding and helps out in any way possible...she is so excited and can not wait for her grandson to arrive....only 28 days left till my due date!
I will keep you in my prayers and I know things will work out.  Babies are one of God's gifts to us...and even though your not married Im sure theres a reason he wants you to have this little one in your life!
Jen
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79258_tn?1190634010
Hmm. Are you keeping the baby because your bf of less than two months wants you to? If so, I really would think that through first. That's not a lot of time together, and I don't know that I'd necessarily rely on his future support.
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Avatar_n_tn
Very well put Cugirl!!!! Everything i wanted to say!
Just as she said you CAN do it! I'm sure your parents will understand.  I am not married and have only been with the father of my baby for 5 months, and i am 5 months. I live with my parents, and they help me.
Also yes, medicaid is wonderful if you qualify. I think if you make $15,000 and under. Not unless it's changed. I make over so i didn't but i had it for my 1st and it was great!
And also WIC is great to, helps you with milk, eggs, cheese, etc. And even baby formula for after baby if you decide to bottle feed instead of breat feed.
Well good luck to you!
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Avatar_n_tn
Go get some prenatal vit. (u can get em at walmart)
then like cu said there's Medicaid & Wic! Yall will be fine :)
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks...I felt like I wrote on and on.  But you can have a baby, even if you dont have money.  You have to find the resources.  Even if your bf dont want to be apart of the babys life you can still do it on your own.  Talk with your mom first before any major changes in your decision to keep the baby.  Im sure she will be understanding.  But listen to your heart too.  If you have an abortion...how will you feel years down the road? Will you regreat your decision?  Even if you dont want to keep the baby theres alwasy adoption...and theres many couples out there who can not conceive and who would be great parents.  Look at other options besides abortion if you decide you cant do this.  But being a mommy is one of the best gifts you will ever get!
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Avatar_n_tn
i was 19 when my boyfriend and i got pregnant and he was 25. we are happily married now and we are living in a very nice community. you can do it. if you dont have a job that has health isurance then you can try to find one. that might be a cheaper way to go. dont listen to anyone that makes ude comments. i dont like the tone of anniebrookes message. maybe i was taking it wrong.... i am sorry if i am wrong. i dont anything about the mvoing thing so i cant help you there. but good for you for deciding to keep the baby. you wont regret it. we had the same thoughts but things just happen and things work out as long as your try. :-) cngrats. i hope all goes well.
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Avatar_n_tn
i am 16 and 38 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend is 21 and i was scared at first but i am now very ready and excited
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Avatar_n_tn
Everything will be fine.  I have always heard, babies come with a loaf of bread.  Meaning you will make it.  I was 20 and preggo.  My and my BF had been dating like 5 months.  I told him I did not want to get married because of a baby or tie him down and him resent me or the baby.  A few weeks later he aske me to marry him, not because of the baby, but because he loved me and our baby.  We have been married for 5 years and have # 2 on the way.  Things dont always turn out so good, but as long as the baby has 2 loving parents ( which it sounds like it does) everything will be fine whether you are together or not.  I did not have insurance and DH was still in college so I got on medicade and other state issued grants.  Look into it there is probley a program you can get on.  Good luck
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158812_tn?1189759426
Wow!  Cugirl couldn't put it any better than that....she also has first hand experience in it, you cannot ask for more personal advice than that!  I would consider every suggestion she made!  Good luck to you!
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Avatar_n_tn
Im 21 I just found out yesterday i'm pregnant I never even thought about being pregnant the babies father is unsure of what to do because we are so young and unstable. I read some of the post and CUGIRL thank u alot.. I am christian and really dont believe in abortion my sister who just turned 24 is 5 months pregnant and is going to have the first grandchild and first great grandchild and if I decide to mine will be the second. I'm scared because we both live together in maryland I dnt have a job and havent finished school yet. I dont have my own place and not even a car but i am so against abortion but ive disappointed my grandmother enough with all of my other decisions that i've made in life how will she be when I face her with this one how will I know if everything will be ok Im so freakin torn at what to do
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi there,

I am 20 yrs old and have found out I'm 3 weeks pregnant 2. I think that you have to take everyone else apart from you and the baby out of the picture. You need to think about what is best for you and your baby. There are alot of support people financially and medically out there. I think you will be surprised about how your family will react and support you. I think you should forget about all the past mistakes you have made and concentrate on the now, just talk to her and your sister :) Ive told my parents and my partners and they are all really supportive. Good luk hun
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