My son is in 1st grade and is having some behavioral problems with following directions, with talking when asked not to, and by him answering back now to everyone. He is so smart though and gets A's on his assignment. I have given him consquences like t

[jodeetolodee]

Can I get some suggestions on what I can do to get my 7 year old to stop acting out by not following rules at school and by talking back to everyone?


This discussion is related to My 6 year old son has behavior problems in 1st Grade.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Our boys are the same age.  I think if I were in your situation I would add a few things to your after school life to see if it helps.  One of the ways we keep my son "regulated" as they call it is the after affect of some of our out of school activities.  Swimming is the perfect thing to have an after affect of calm and focas.  Going to a park and doing all things that are present there-----  climbing, running, swinging, jumping, monkey bars----  all will have an after affect of calm and focas.  I have about 2 million ideas (JK)---  and can share more of you are interested.  

Class clowns are often kids who are actually using a coping mechanism to avoid something that is hard or in my son's case----  that he feels like he is crawling out of his skin.  

Good luck and let me know if you want some ideas of quick things you can do before school and things for after school.  

[clewis]

I had a this problem with my 7yr old at school, well just so happens that it wasnt my son it was the teacher targeting my son, he has moved to another school and the only phone calls I have had was that my son was doing excellent at the new school and no behavior problems at all and he has been here for 6months (new school). So please please take that into consideration, and evaluate meaning pop in at the school to observe without your child seeing that your their, that way you know for sure.

[mumgoinmad]

your commens are interesting , I have a 6 year old son who in general is a good boy however his behaviour is as described in your first paragraph, he gets very easily distracted and whilst fery intelligent sometimes struggles completing tasks purley because of distractions , he is not good at all when things around him are busy he gets frustrated then angry.  i have expressed my concerns to the school but I think he is already labled as a " silly " boy ( there words) . life is complicated wouldnt it be nice if we had all the answers!  

[specialmom]

Hello.  What does the school say and what is their approach in handling this?  I often think that punishment at home after school is not a good idea.  Better to find out what the root problem is causing the behavior issues.   My child has sensory integration disorder, for example.  He looks like every other child (except he is the MOST gorgeous, just kidding)-------  but can have trouble with the areas you mention because his nervous system requires input to keep his brain active.  Or he can actually misinterpret the responses of his nervous system/get the wrong signal.  He is very intelligent, so this has nothing to do with being smart.  It is a processing issue.  And when he is excited, overwhelmed or bored, it is far worse (like in school).  That is the root cause of why my son can have some challenges in school---------  the root of the problem that we now work on.  He does various activities to make him better able to cope with his school day.  So, his behavior is now 100% better that we have addressed the heart of the problem.

So, you need to find out what the heart of the problem is for your child.  Does he have auditory issues in which an enviroment that has lots going on it makes it hard for him to concentrate (you describe classic signs of auditory processing problems)?  Does he have a "go" button on in his head all the time but he needs to discover the stop button and use it more often?  (impulsivity).  Does he have a fequent need to move? (the engine is on high).   Does he hear lots of not so nice talk at home that he thinks is okay to use even though everyone now tells him it is not?  (as in, do you lose your temper with him, do you and his father fight, does he have older siblings that are rude?)  

Simply punishing him may not be giving him the right tools he needs to be successful.  Kids are all different and your job as a parent is to figure out what is happening with your child and help him work through it.  I've been there----------  I  know it is hard.  But calmly figuring it out vs. just being mad about it is your best chance of his success.  good luck