Ill really be upset if........

[MommaX3]

I know everyone says "I'll be happy no matter what I have" Well ummmmmm I want a girl and I think i would be very disappointed if Im told my baby is going to be a boy. I have 2 boys now 13 and 8 and my first child passed when SHE was 5 yrs old....anyone catch that hint? Is it wrong for me to want to fill that whole that is in my heart still. That ache for the female offspring. I am happy about just bringing a baby into the world and that its a creation that we made. I just feel like something is gonna be missing. Anyone else every felt or is feeling like this? I would love some feedback.


Susan
6w2d

[MommaX3]

Thank you all so much. It really did help to see what you think and see that some to have those feelings. I know I will love him or her either way im just hoping for the female bond again. Take a look at my update on my Gestationally Diabetic again! post.

[dsmommy]

I don't think there's anything wrong w/ longing for another girl!  I understand there is probably an emptiness from losing your daughter and although having another girl won't take the place of the one you lost, I think you just long for that female bonding!  I hope you get what you want but I'm certain you will love either!  And if it is a boy then there's always next time.

Good Luck!
Dottie

[rukiyar]

I have a strong feeling you will be having a girl, and you should be ashamed of wanting one, We all know if by some chance it is a boy you will still love him but a girl will probably fill the void you feel to some extent. I wish you all the best but like I said I really feel confident it will be a girl.

[Tanker Chic]

I think it is okay to have a preference, just when it doesn't work out, you have to adjust your outlook.  I honestly couldn't even imagine having a boy.  I don't know if it is becasuse I don't have a brother, but I just always imagined having a little girl and that she would me just like me.  

Prior to finding out I was having a boy, I had a dream that it was a boy.  That dream was good because after that, I could at least imagine having a boy.  When I found out i was having a boy, there was a ting of disappointment because I had to let go of the dream I had been holding on to almost my whole life.  Now that I know I'm having a little boy.. I am in love with him and the idea of him.  I have to admit the picture in my mind, isn't as vivid and clear as the picture of a little girl, but I think it is just because I haven't as long to come up with that image in my head.  Besides we all know how much little boys love their mommies.  I just can't wait!!  :)

[stephie4]

i'm feeling the same way....  I really wanted another boy. i have an 11 yr. old boy, and maybe its just what i'm used to by now... but i really wanted, and almost expected another boy.
when the tech told me it was a girl, (and keep in mind, yes, iknow i'm blessed to be preg. again after 2 miscarriages and am thrilled with the pregnancy)but  i felt slightly disappointed...
and knew having a girl, or finding out it looks like a girl would take some getting used to.  ANYWAY, when i share these feelings with others they make me feel guilty and selfish. its nice on here to hear that others are going through the same thing.  I know once i'm holding her/him, i'd love it the same weather it is a boy or girl...(still feeling the need to defend myself)  i just was wishing for another boy.

[lawanb33]

vsentz, you said it beautifully!! I give anything to be pregnant again after my loss boy or girl, deformity ect... I take anything.

[vsentz]

I have not been in that situation of losing a child at that age. I lost one when still in my womb and she was a girl. After many things I went thru, including surgeries, treatments (cancer ones...), pills, etc.... and after longing for a baby NO MATTER WHAT THE SEX WAS... i was just happy and thrilled to become pregnant (a true miracle) once again. Period.
I am having a girl... and I do feel she's back. Would it have affected my feelings if she would have been a precious boy?? NO. I would still think that same soul was back.
I don't know if you had trouble conceiving. But, at least the people I know, including myself... infertility has given us a diferent perspective of  motherhood. Inconditional motherhood. It has brought us to a state of love for our kids no matter what the outcome is. I didn't give two rats a$$ if my baby had a pee pee or a wee wee.... i didn't either care if she or he had a deformity or desease..... DIDN'T CARE. But that's just me. I did not go to test anything, because no matter what, i knew I was gonna love this miracle with ALL MY SOUL and HEART no matter what!..........

I don't agree with the way you are seeing this situation, but I cannot judge you since I have gone thru diferent kinds of painful loses than you. All painful, just diferent.

Just don't forget one thing: you WILL NEVER fill up that whole your dear angel left. NEVER. She was her own self..., and you should really turn your eyes to your womb and see that a miracle is growing with all his/her innocence and love in yourself. There are many women (like myself once) that could have traded their own skin, or a limb, or her soul for the chance to feel a little baby kicking healthy inside their wombs.....

Just something to think about.........

don't you think?

[tahariel]

I'm so sorry about you losing your daughter. I can't even begin to imagine what that is like for you. We miscarried a boy at 17 weeks. I'd love for this baby to be a boy because then I'd feel like he came back to us and my family would be complete. Healthy baby first, although if I could choose between another healthy girl or a healthy boy this time . . . a healthy boy would be nice.

[Cyn2008]

Hi Susan.  I don't blame you for wanting a girl after loosing your daughter.  Your in a position that not many people understand.  Feel what you are feeling.  Im sure your smart enough to understand if you do have a boy of course you'll love him just like your other boys. That must drive you crazy hearing that from other people.  Feel what you feel.  I have four boys and one girl.  I understand the need for female offspring.  Good luck Susan!!  GO GIRLS!!!