uncontrolable 41/2 year old niece

[stephbac]

my niece Kaitlin is completely out of control, my brother and sister in law are at there wits end. They have tried everything that they could possibly think of, from spanking to taking important things away to time outs to dish soap in the mouth, throwing away toys, they have even tried showering her with love and kindness even when shes being rotten and absolutely nothing works. Kaitlin tells them that she hates them, that she wants to run away and never come back, that they don't care about her and several other things. When her parents tell her to do something she tells them that she don't have to do anything they say and that she is not going to. Shes very intelligent but horribly rotten to everyone in her path. she has a 18 month old sister that shes extremely mean to, she hits her,punches her and the latest thing they've caught her doing is strangling her. Shes also very abusive to her parents and anybody else that comes in her path. My sister in law is pregnant and kaitlin hits her and hits and kicks her in her stomach. I would just like to know what could possibly be done about my niece, and is there any hope for her and our family.  


This discussion is related to Uncontrollable 4-year-old.

[musicmama]

I agree with stephbac.  In the meantime, anytime she is doing this kind of behavior, you may wish to put her in her room (or a room by herself) and tell her when she is done acting this way, she can come out.  She must apologize before she can interact with the family.  It sounds like they have tried to do everything but refuse to give attention to this behavior.  I know this is a worrisome time, so act quickly.  Please, please, don't let the 18 month old out of your sight.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[lilsmamma]

I have a 41/2 year old and the behavior you described is not normal. I have a question, when they say that they have tried everything, I wonder how consistent they actually were. At this point, if it were my daughter, I would enlist the help of a professional. Ask her pediatrician if he or she has any recommendations for therapists in the area. They may even want family counseling along with individualized counseling for their daughter. Good Luck!!