well its Thurs evening @ 9:30 pm. My afternoon and evening was good then turned into a mess. I got real nervous and depressed when I knew my last dose of Effexor XR and Wellbutrin XL was starting to wear off. I always get more agitated in the evenings anyways. Have been worried about not hearing from my x-bf in 3 weeks. He emailed me today. I got real emotional when I was reading it. crying alot. Its just hard going through all of this alone , me and Scott, Andy, Abi.
My kids have grown up with me being on medication for anxiety, depression, bipolar, mood disorder.
Now they are as uncertain as I am about what the days are going to bring "mommy" off meds.
I tried to have a good day with my kids that I very seldom do, cause I wont go any where.
We went and walked around the mall, then to eat supper at IHOP and stopped by Hobby Lobby to just
look around. By time we got home I was so stressed and emotional, with alot of anxiety. I didn't know
what to do. " why me, why do I have to be sick?" severe anxiety about the days to come and the withdrawals.
I am scared ! please pray for me/
I finally went to sleep about 0330 this morning. woke up at 0500 to wake kids up for school. Then awake again at 0530 for a few minutes. then kids woke me up at 0640 am to take them to school. I had been in a sound sleep this last time I went to sleep. Was going to go do a few errands after taking my son home from work. I got home. went in my room and next thing I knew I was laying down in bed. I woke up again at 1130. So I just made phone calls to take care of the errands, since I didn't want to get out. I would rather just stay home and take care of things.
I really had my thought of staying up today and not taking a nap and get some things done.
I slept from 0400 to 0500 this am. then took kids to school. And picked up my son from work. I took my Effexor XR 300 mg, Wellbutrin XL 300 mg, Ativan 1 mg this am. Then took a nap from 0830-1200. Got a call from Rhonda and talked for a while. Kids home from school. Read online about withdrawal symptoms of Effexor XR. Really scared about what symptoms I will experience. I dont know if I am ready to go thought this withdrawals from all my meds except the Ativan. Not hungry, no appetite this evening. Crying and upset about all of this . Its not fair that I should have to go through this cause I make too much on unemployment to qualify for any help with meds. So I will just have to stop them. And deal with what else comes along. Very forgetful alot lately. Also worried about where I will qualify for help in the days to come. I feel so lonely, only me and my kids here. But we will make it some how, just get me through these days to come. Will take my Lamactil 200 mg before I try to lay down for the nite. Then take my son to work. And come home to my room as usual. And see if I can sleep any tonite.
