ADD / ADHD Community
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Avatar universal

I need help

- Weak memory. Difficult to remember things, things that I've just read go away.  Things that I've just seen go away.  Hard to recall details of places I've just gone.
- Difficult to memorize
- Absent minded.  I dont notice details.  I can see someone everyday for a year, then if you ask me what colour their eyes are i won't be able to tell you.
-Very forgetfull.  Often forget names of people and names of things.  Often go to the room to get something then when I'm there I forget what I came to get then I have to stand there and start thinking of what I came to get.  Often at drive through I pay then leave without getting my food.  I'm working on something, then my mind wanders away for a few seconds then when I come back I forget what I was doing and I have to work to try to remember.  I ask someone a question like where they are going.  They tell me.  Then a few minutes later I ask them the same question again, then again.  When I go to school often forget little things like textbooks or when i go to the gym I forget waterbottle or workout gloves then I have to go home and get it.  When I drive I don't think about where I'm going often my mind wanders and I make wrong turns very often.  
- Stupidity, say things that I didn't want to say when im talking often seems like my mind isn't in complete control of my tounge.  
- Indecisive, takes me very long to make decisions.  I do not like making decisions I prefere others to make decisions for me and I like when others do my thinking for me and I like others to talk for me.  
- Slow in thinking and decision making. Feels there is some kind of lack of communication between mind and body, reactions are slow.
- Slow in collecting thoughts.  Hard for me to keep multiple Ideas in my head at one time.  Hard for me to keep lists in my head.  Only do well with one thing at a time.  More than one thing is overwhelming.  If I am really concentrating on something and someone is talking to me I will ignore them without realizing it or not pick up what they are saying.  
- Mind switches to other objects constantly when doing anything
-often mind wanders when teacher is teaching when i snap back into reality i realize so much time has passed and i dont know whats going on.  Very difficult to concentrate in school.  Very difficult to write notes and listen.  I can do one thing at a time listen or write notes.  If i start writing then everything that is said while i'm writing will go through one ear and out the next until i am done writing.  
-When I am talking its often hard for me to put words into my own mouth.  I know what im thinking and what I want to say but Its hard for me to put it into words and form coherent sentences.  Often Can't find the word that I am looking for even though I know its somewhere there in my head.  Its hard for me to retreive those words out of my memory bank.  Often forget words that i've known for a long time it usually comes back but I have to really think about it.  Sometimes when I am trying to think of things to say on the spot my brian completely freezes up and i go silent.  This is why its hard for me to speak to people.  It is impossible for me to have a real conversation.  I am only good at answering yes or no questions or giving very short responces.  Often when I am asked a question I have to stop  and try to process what they were trying to say and they notice that I am doing that which is embarassing for me.  Because of these reasons I avoid people.  I keep my head down and hope people don't talk to me even though i wish i was normal and want to talk to people like a normal person.  People have told me that I have no emotions.
-I am hypersensitive, If i feel someone is upset with me I will not be able to stop thinking about that for a long time.  It will be on my mind all day.  When I was young I would sometimes get mad and try to express my feelings in words but It would be hard for me to do that and I would end up getting upset and cry.  Now as an adult I just dont bother anymore.
- I am always practicing things to say so I dont sound stupid when I do talk and because I cant think of things to say on the spot.  People think im extremely awkward to be around and they dont know how to act around me.  They think I'm extremely shy or extremely slow/stupid.  My heart races when I might have to talk to someone.  My heart races when I'm going into work because I'm afraid i might have to talk to someone.  I calm down more though when I'm actually there and sitting down.  I want to talk to people like a normal person but I cant think of things to say.  I have a lack of ideas and no creativity, I have a severe lack of confidence.  I like being around people only when there is no chance of conversation.  I feel comfortable being around people that are close like my brother and cousin because they know me and know what i'm like already.  I'm not expected to talk in that situation so I just sit quietly and enjoy listening to them.  I like listening to them and hearing their jokes and stuff.  I really do enjoy that.  I can't do this around anyone else though because other people expect me to contribute to the conversation which I cannot do.  Socializing is very exhausting for me because I always have to think about things to talk about, think about things i might say before entering a social situation, think about possible responces from the other individual and possible counter responces to their responces.  
-feel immature for my age, Have not experienced much out of life.  There are young teenagers that have experienced a lot more out of life than me.  This is also very depressing for me.  
- Impatient, when I get an idea in my head I cant do anything else untill I do that.  For example, often think about donuts then I cant do anything untill i go to tim hortons and get the donut.  Impatient to get things started.   Often I dont want to do anything but when there is something I actually want to do I want to get it started right away but when i'm doing it I want it to be ended quickly.
-Get tired easily, tired throughout the entire day, often just pace around thinking im always thinking like brain never stops working, procastinate badly.
-when reading a textbook with completely new material i need to read extremely slow to pick up info.
-even with all these problems, I believe i do have an above average IQ, If i were given a non-timed IQ test I am confident I will score above average.  I do things well that I know how to do.  If i spend time and get good at something I can usually do it better than anyone else.  Even though i know I am smart,  It is frustrating because it is impossible for me to show it.  It's hard for me to explain it but I can think in a way that others can't which makes me highly perceptive and gives me a slight advantage.
- Mental work feels hard, get bored and tired quickly, and starts feel sleepy.
- Severe lack of will power
- Mind feels exausted, Mental work feels heavy

can by problem be caused by vitamin deficiency or masturbation addiction (prob avg 10 times a day for last 12 years)

ritalin did not help me

4 Responses
189897 tn?1441130118
   Wow, a very long involved post!  You certainly have a better than average post.  
   My first thought was possible ADD.  You might check out these two sites. they are the best I have found for adults.  They are are totallyadd.com and http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors.
      Both sites are done by people with ADD.  totallyadd was actually a PBS special and consequently is a series of short videos.  Quite entertaining and useful.   Jeffs add mind really reflects him.  Has much more adult interaction.  Both are worth checking out.
    Little surprised that meds had no effect.  Makes me wonder who prescribed then and how the follow up was?  docs always start low and increase the dose based on patient feedback.  If you dropped out fairly soon, you may not have gotten to a dose that would have helped.  The one thing about ritallin - if you don't have AD/HD it may not effect you until you hit the correct dose.  If you don't have it - even a small dose should be felt (unless you are very large).  Of course, there are some medical problems like thyroid that also can be part of a problem - so a good medical checkup is always important.
   I do think it would be worth your time to find a psychologist or psychiatrist that specializes in adult AD/HD and get checked out.  This does seem to be beyond your control and I think you will need professional help to get this monkey off your back.  Hope this helps.
189897 tn?1441130118
   Opps,  when I said, "  The one thing about ritallin - if you don't have AD/HD it may not effect you until you hit the correct dose.  If you don't have it - even a small dose should be felt (unless you are very large)"   I meant if you DO have AD/HD you may not feel the effects right away.
   And I should add that while your post was certainly better than average and expressed a great deal of concern - I really meant to say that you certainly show better than average intelligence.
Avatar universal
My psych prescribed me 20mg of ritalin SR for the first 7 days then 40mg of ritalin SR afterwards.  First couple days I felt great.  I felt happy and relaxed.  I had energy and motivation to get work done and I caught up on most of my school work.  After that the effects started wearing off a bit and I noticed I was feeling a little down in the evenings.  On the 8th day when I took my first dose 40mg dose it made me extremely depressed.  I just sat in the corner the entire day and couldn't do anything.  Didn't even bother to respond to my family when they tried to talk to me.  I even had suicidal thoughts.  That's when I decided to stop taking ritalin.  I am going to make an appointment with the doctor to check for vitamin deficiencies or a thyroid problem.  I'm pretty sure I do have some vitamin deficiencies since I don't eat fruits or veggies and I've never had a blood test before.  
189897 tn?1441130118
   A blood test is a good idea - especially to check out the thyroid.  And true vitamin deficiencies can cause problems - which are easily solved.  Oh, unless you have to wait a long time for the blood test - don't start taking supplements until the after the test so you get a true indication of whats going on.
  Kind of surprised the Doc doubled your med dose the first time.  Especially when it was working for you.  Or were you just following his instructions with out any feedback from him?  At any rate, its always better to get by with out taking meds, I just hope that something that might have been positive was not screwed up by a doctors poor advice.
   And do check out the sites I gave you for ADD and see if that looks familiar.
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