my son

[monsters]

Hi I'm not sure if my son has ADD, he's 8yrs old and will wip phoo over the bathroom walls, he can be very aggressive, controling and can be very nasty 2his little brother and sister please could someone give me any advice... He doesn't seem to understand the things he does... Please help...

[monsters]

I appreciate  everyone's views, I've got four children, my daughter with ADHD, and not sure with my son, my youngest will attempted to copy his brother and sister but onces he's in time out and we speak to him he's ok again my oldest is 12 she's a lovely girl but gets very stressed with her brother and mainly her sister as they will steal, destroy her stuff and can be very aggressive.
   I'm not sure if it does run in our family as my nephew has Autism.
My daughter has got an appointment at a place called cams as she sharpened her little finger in school, this has really worried as if she did it again it could be even worse....
  My son used to pinch himself as he got very frustrated with his school work, we have controlled this now as wen he gets stuck he can leave what he's doing and go back to it when he has calmed down, he can still be very aggressive  towards other in school and has trouble making friend this can be very stressful for my son as he has always felt different in himself but doesn't understand why, we will talk to him explain  he isn't different but he doesn't take anything in, he learned to write properly wen he was 7 and still struggles with a lot of his work... In the 1st part of the kids assessment I had a woman round our home as she wanted to see the kids in there home environment, we tryed new routines but nothing worked, they asked me to give parent classes ago but these where pointless as we were already doing the things they suggested... I've been told I'm doing I can for my children, but still find it frustrating as I wish I could do more... XXx

[monsters]

I appreciate  everyone's views, I've got four children, my daughter with ADHD, and not sure with my son, my youngest will attempted to copy his brother and sister but onces he's in time out and we speak to him he's ok again my oldest is 12 she's a lovely girl but gets very stressed with her brother and mainly her sister as they will steal, destroy her stuff and can be very aggressive.
   I'm not sure if it does run in our family as my nephew has Autism.
My daughter has got an appointment at a place called cams as she sharpened her little finger in school, this has really worried as if she did it again it could be even worse....
  My son used to pinch himself as he got very frustrated with his school work, we have controlled this now as wen he gets stuck he can leave what he's doing and go back to it when he has calmed down, he can still be very aggressive  towards other in school and has trouble making friend this can be very stressful for my son as he has always felt different in himself but doesn't understand why, we will talk to him explain  he isn't different but he doesn't take anything in, he learned to write properly wen he was 7 and still struggles with a lot of his work... In the 1st part of the kids assessment I had a woman round our home as she wanted to see the kids in there home environment, we tryed new routines but nothing worked, they asked me to give parent classes ago but these where pointless as we were already doing the things they suggested... I've been told I'm doing I can for my children, but still find it frustrating as I wish I could do more... XXx

[allmymarbles]

Apology accepted. We probably understand each other better now.

[specialmom]

okay, sorry.

[allmymarbles]

Your son is not the subject of this thread. Nor are his physical disabilities in any way related to my comments which had to do with behavior.

[specialmom]

anyway, I will say that I do agree that if my child just daydreamed or lacked a bit of focus, I'd not view that as uncommon.  But most people that have concerns see a great deal more than that.  What I tell others is that everyone has quirks and ideosyncrasies unique to them.  When something becomes questionable as to whether or not it is a disorder is based on how the 'issue' affects their functioning.  I fought the discussion of what was going on with my child and tried to write it off as a non issue until I spent time observing him at school.  My boy indeed struggled and was sad.  The day I looked into his eyes and saw that is the day I sprang to action.  To heck with my ego and all those who judge me, I wanted to help my child never have that look in his eye again.  I have worked tirelessly to help him.  And the way my boy "feels" now has made everything worthwhile.

so, I guess with the experience I've been through, it does feel personal when the idea of a diagnosis of some sort is criticized.  

I've never put my son on medication of any sort.  I've had occupational therapists show me how to calm his nervous system through activity.  I've had OT's help him uncurl his hands so he can hold a pencil. Oh, I tried.  But I don't have all the tools and tricks that they do . . .  and I'm pretty educated and well off.  Still, that is not my area of expertise, so a professional helping him with fine motor skills was very valuable.  I never knew about all of the calming tenchniques that can help a child that can't regulate themselves without great difficulty.  I had a speech therapist help me with eating issues --------  not being picky but that he has motor planning issues and can't chew and swallow properly and would choke, literally, on his food.  We had to teach him to chew.  

So, the way these 'problems' impacts a child should be the deciding factor for when to ask for help.  And the assumption that that help is always medication is wrong.  

I don't disagree that at times the circumstances at home can cause behavioral issues and don't think all kids need to be diagnosed just because the parent wonders about something.  but one size fits all does not apply to kids when looking for answers.  And honestly, my son has done so well with the intervention that we provided that I'd hate for any child to miss out on that.  

anyway, that is how I feel about it.