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150 mgs of ADDERAL XR per day
I have been taking Adderall XR 30mg pills for over 3 years now. In the biggining I was started off with 1 30mg tablet in the morning. That progressed to 2 30 mg tablets per day (1 in the morning, 1 in the afternon). That progressed to 4 30mg tablets per day, (YES DOUBLED) due to the fact that it was dtermined that I being 6'4'' 205 pounds was above the average body size, excersized regularly, and had an extremely fast metabolizam. With that in mind I was directed to take 2 30mg pills when I wake up, 1 30mg pill in early afternoon, and then 1 more 30mg tablet around 6pm. The effectiveness of the pills really only lasted approx.3 hours on average for me, thats why the 4 pills were implimented. After a year or so (APPROX) my dosage was raised yet again 1 more 30mg pill. I was then and am now still on 5 30mg ADDERALL XR pills per day for ADHD. I also am prescribed up to 6 1mg tablets ofXanex per day, which I take 1 for 1 along with my adderall for anxiety and the headaches I would get if I didnt, so I take 5 ADDERALL and 5 Xanex every day. I have done this amount for maybe a year now. I realize by all the other postings that this seems to be an extremely high dosage. I also have read some postings were people have lost emotions, and happiness, etc... I am at that point, yet I stil dont feel high or anything off the pills, I just feel like i believe normal people feel on a daily basis. I am 31 years old, I Have had a house built for myself and my wife of 8 years. We both are very successful in our fields of work, financially we earn approx 5 times that of an average American household. (WE HAVE ACHIEVED THE SO CALLED AMERICAN DREAM ALREADY AT AGE 31). Thats the problem...I am very unmotivated to really want anymore. I have more than most, I need really for nothing exept happiness, (WHICH IM NOT SURE REALLY EXISTS FOR ME) due to the fact that I dont really have emotions longer than brief moments. I am an extremly smart individual when it comes to common sense, kinda like lifes a big game of chess and Im always planning ahead so I know what the next move is going to be. IQ of approx. 130. Very cognitive, Very aggressive, Very Competitive..........................but very unemotional........when it comes to peoples feelings. I can empathize but not sympothize. The pills have stolen my heart and brought pure logic into my everyday life. Family and friends see the change, in my overall drive and everyday way of thinking, yet, there way is a way that has really never gotten them to the point in life that I have already achieved (AS FAR AS FINANCIAL STABILITY) so I have a hard time taking advice from them. My job gives me a lot of space, and recently depression has takin over from ard times in my marriage, inwhich my wife blames on the adderall, yet, I see a bitter wife who is unhappy in life due to her father passing a way recently. I am confused because I have had to doctors know in three years and they carried on with the same prescriptions as the last one, as far as dosage etc.... Im having a hard time figuring out if the pills have made me successful, and smart or if i would have been like on 1 pill a day. It will take a huge intervention for me to quit these pills. After three years and that dosage, I NEED AND AM ADDICTED TO THEM.....Can someone please give me some feedback or advice or anything that could motivate me to act upon the right hing to do, or figure out what is right, or just past experiences. I feel like my life is falling apart due to the fact that I dont really care about people like I should, and my values might be slipping away, and I still am going to maintain my lifes normal routine day (WHICH IS GOOD FINANCIALLY) on these pills, but dont know about if Im off them what will happen. My marriage seems to be in jeopardy after 8 years of marriage and 11 years of knowing her. Se says ive changed, I say yes I have im not twenty anymore or a kid, Im now 31 and a MAN, youve wathched me grow up and dont like me for who i ended up being, and I say the same things to her and she says the same things back..etc.....enough said please help...........Thank you for your tiime and help
Too much Adderall can cause you to "over-think" a lot. I know, I've been there. You'll get one subject in your thoughts and be stuck on it, hashing it over and over for hours upon hours. You disconnect from your wife or family could be because of how you can get so stuck on one subject, and forget about other stuff. I can remember doing geneology research to find my dad's birth mother and would so deep into my work, that I didnt even eat or sleep for days, and I sure didnt want to stop what I was doing to snugle with my husband and watch ld re-runs on tv because I was on a mission....
I finally HAD to take a break from the meds. I took about a week off, and it REALLY helped me so much. The first two days were not easy at all...I got grumpy and my main focus was definately "MED-DAY," but by the third day, I was sleeping good, eating god, playing with my kids, and spending quality time with my husband. My dosage was then lowered and that hepled tremendously. I could stay focused when I needed to be, but not in that "ON A MISSION" mode where I will not stop for anyone or anything.
You have taken the first stpe in admitting you have a problem. You also are already on your way to getting better because you KNOW it is affecting your marriage. Tell your wife this and ask her for her help and support. hat will show her that you DO still love her and more importantly that you do still NEED HER! Open your heart up to her and tell her what you told us. Once she feels she is loved and needed again, her attitude will improve which should help you to begin to feel better.
Just remember that financial stability is a great thing, but it wont be worth a penny if YOU can't be happy and share it with people you love.
I would suggest talking to your doctor and gradually reducing your dosage. I can only imagine how much work your brain is doing with such a high dosage.
I hope this helps some....good luck to you....try listening to your heart every now and then and give your brain a rest, it sure helped me!
I finally HAD to take a break from the meds. I took about a week off, and it REALLY helped me so much. The first two days were not easy at all...I got grumpy and my main focus was definately "MED-DAY," but by the third day, I was sleeping good, eating god, playing with my kids, and spending quality time with my husband. My dosage was then lowered and that hepled tremendously. I could stay focused when I needed to be, but not in that "ON A MISSION" mode where I will not stop for anyone or anything.
You have taken the first stpe in admitting you have a problem. You also are already on your way to getting better because you KNOW it is affecting your marriage. Tell your wife this and ask her for her help and support. hat will show her that you DO still love her and more importantly that you do still NEED HER! Open your heart up to her and tell her what you told us. Once she feels she is loved and needed again, her attitude will improve which should help you to begin to feel better.
Just remember that financial stability is a great thing, but it wont be worth a penny if YOU can't be happy and share it with people you love.
I would suggest talking to your doctor and gradually reducing your dosage. I can only imagine how much work your brain is doing with such a high dosage.
I hope this helps some....good luck to you....try listening to your heart every now and then and give your brain a rest, it sure helped me!
I think you have plenty of emotion left also.
I am 33 with ADD and I take 40mg of XR a day. My doctor said 60mg was the cap on this drug. Maybe that was for me as a recovering addict, but who knows.
You speak of a void you need to fill, I have learned that there is absolutely nothing in this physical world that is going to fill that void. In addition to meds, I have alot of support and am in cognitive therapy for behavior modification. Getting in tune with Spirituality is the only way that void is going to be filled. Serenity is possible in our chaos.......it's called humility. Take some time to just breathe; unfocus on our chaos and chaotic thinking and just breathe. Maybe some meditation techniques would help. I choose to work on a relationship with God through scripture. Whatever you choose, I think you just need some peace.
I am 33 with ADD and I take 40mg of XR a day. My doctor said 60mg was the cap on this drug. Maybe that was for me as a recovering addict, but who knows.
You speak of a void you need to fill, I have learned that there is absolutely nothing in this physical world that is going to fill that void. In addition to meds, I have alot of support and am in cognitive therapy for behavior modification. Getting in tune with Spirituality is the only way that void is going to be filled. Serenity is possible in our chaos.......it's called humility. Take some time to just breathe; unfocus on our chaos and chaotic thinking and just breathe. Maybe some meditation techniques would help. I choose to work on a relationship with God through scripture. Whatever you choose, I think you just need some peace.
Hi
I know you posted a couple weeks ago, but I came on the ADD/ADHD forum to look up some info re: my daughter, I saw your post and I was really touched by it. First off.. I dont think you have lost all empathy, as the other response said.. the fact that you are bothered by this says so much. I think your feelings are a combination of the fact that you are definitely on too much medication, recognize that you are and that it's become an addiction, and also , some normal feelings of "is this all there is??" which happens to most of us in life I think. Because really that's great that you have achieved so much financial success but you are an intelligent man and can see that you cant take it with you and so you are feeling this emptiness.
When you describe your logic and drive, it's interesting because you excel at the very things I think I lack. I think I have ADD also, though I have never been diagnosed and am not on medication. So I think my strengths are in empathy and non logical thought, LOL, if that makes sense. I think that is who I am and I dont believe that medication could really change that about me. And that said.. I dont think that your success is because of your meds, it is in spite of them.. So don't sell yourself short. If at all possible, I think you need to start working with a doctor who knows the situation up front, and is willing to work with you to gradually taper off so many pills and get you off all the chemicals. I am not anti-meds, but too much cant be good.. after all, medication is ultimately to make you feel better, not worse.
As far as taking advice from people who are less successful, I know you felt bad about how that sounded (another example that you still have PLENTY of empathy and feeling left in you) But a good way to look at them is to realize we all have different strengths, and they may have a perspective on some things that you dont, even if their finances are a mess, etc. Re your wife, she is also probably going through a combination of things.. mourning her dad, feeling a disconnect with you, and that same "is this all there is.." Goals are so important to have so that you wake up each day with a sense of purpose, and since you guys achieved financial goals early in life, in a way it is like you are facing midlife crisis earlier.. that's how i see it anyway..
So bottom line, try and get as unmedicated as you possibly can, with the help of a like-minded dr that you respect and trust.. That can be your first new goal.. make a goal of reconnecting with your wife, and family.. maybe helping others or a cause that you believe in, not just financially, but with your skills, time.. can be another way to gain a sense of purpose, caring and connection.. be careful not to overbook yourself though, especially if you are dealing with changes in your meds.. and ok, this is personal but for me I cant write this without saying that you need to definately explore your spiritual beliefs, because a sense that there is SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS is what makes everything else make sense. I really believe that things happen for a reason, even though sometimes life is confusing as heck. Open up your eyes and start noticing coincidences and why certain people are brought into your life, what you are supposed to be learning from them and/or teaching them. Best wishes to you, you sound like a good person and I feel very hopeful that this will be a turning point for you in a good way, you are definitely not alone in how you are feeling.
God bless.
~True
I know you posted a couple weeks ago, but I came on the ADD/ADHD forum to look up some info re: my daughter, I saw your post and I was really touched by it. First off.. I dont think you have lost all empathy, as the other response said.. the fact that you are bothered by this says so much. I think your feelings are a combination of the fact that you are definitely on too much medication, recognize that you are and that it's become an addiction, and also , some normal feelings of "is this all there is??" which happens to most of us in life I think. Because really that's great that you have achieved so much financial success but you are an intelligent man and can see that you cant take it with you and so you are feeling this emptiness.
When you describe your logic and drive, it's interesting because you excel at the very things I think I lack. I think I have ADD also, though I have never been diagnosed and am not on medication. So I think my strengths are in empathy and non logical thought, LOL, if that makes sense. I think that is who I am and I dont believe that medication could really change that about me. And that said.. I dont think that your success is because of your meds, it is in spite of them.. So don't sell yourself short. If at all possible, I think you need to start working with a doctor who knows the situation up front, and is willing to work with you to gradually taper off so many pills and get you off all the chemicals. I am not anti-meds, but too much cant be good.. after all, medication is ultimately to make you feel better, not worse.
As far as taking advice from people who are less successful, I know you felt bad about how that sounded (another example that you still have PLENTY of empathy and feeling left in you) But a good way to look at them is to realize we all have different strengths, and they may have a perspective on some things that you dont, even if their finances are a mess, etc. Re your wife, she is also probably going through a combination of things.. mourning her dad, feeling a disconnect with you, and that same "is this all there is.." Goals are so important to have so that you wake up each day with a sense of purpose, and since you guys achieved financial goals early in life, in a way it is like you are facing midlife crisis earlier.. that's how i see it anyway..
So bottom line, try and get as unmedicated as you possibly can, with the help of a like-minded dr that you respect and trust.. That can be your first new goal.. make a goal of reconnecting with your wife, and family.. maybe helping others or a cause that you believe in, not just financially, but with your skills, time.. can be another way to gain a sense of purpose, caring and connection.. be careful not to overbook yourself though, especially if you are dealing with changes in your meds.. and ok, this is personal but for me I cant write this without saying that you need to definately explore your spiritual beliefs, because a sense that there is SO MUCH MORE THAN THIS is what makes everything else make sense. I really believe that things happen for a reason, even though sometimes life is confusing as heck. Open up your eyes and start noticing coincidences and why certain people are brought into your life, what you are supposed to be learning from them and/or teaching them. Best wishes to you, you sound like a good person and I feel very hopeful that this will be a turning point for you in a good way, you are definitely not alone in how you are feeling.
God bless.
~True
I also take the weekends off. Do I really need aderall to go tot hemovies and the park.
You may be addicted.
You may be addicted.
You need to take a big break from Adderall. You say you've been on it for 3 years and you are at 150 mg? I can't believe your doctor keeps upping the dose. It sounds like you've hit the ceiling for this drug. You are now just experiencing the side effects and not too many of pluses. If you can function like this, you can function without the drug. I'm sure you were successful before you started the medication, right?
And yeah, coming off Adderall, you will experience depression and fatigue and it is pretty overwhelming. I went through it. But I'm so glad I came off the stuff. My husband was taking up to 90 a day and almost lost me and all his friends. He went through a bad depression after coming off of it but I supported him and kept reminding him that it was just a side effect and he made it through. He's a different person now. emotional, calmer, able to listen to people ..not so impatient --he still takes 15 mg a day but he took at least 3 weeks off .. Also why is your doctor giving you adderall when you are bi-polar?? I thought that was a big no-no. You know it's time to stop, you just have to bite the bullet and do it. Take some time off of work and pamper yourself. Allow yourself to sleep too much, eat too much and just feel blah.. try and exercise and jumpstart your bodies own natural endorphins. What is wealth when your body is becoming impoverished by this drug?
And yeah, coming off Adderall, you will experience depression and fatigue and it is pretty overwhelming. I went through it. But I'm so glad I came off the stuff. My husband was taking up to 90 a day and almost lost me and all his friends. He went through a bad depression after coming off of it but I supported him and kept reminding him that it was just a side effect and he made it through. He's a different person now. emotional, calmer, able to listen to people ..not so impatient --he still takes 15 mg a day but he took at least 3 weeks off .. Also why is your doctor giving you adderall when you are bi-polar?? I thought that was a big no-no. You know it's time to stop, you just have to bite the bullet and do it. Take some time off of work and pamper yourself. Allow yourself to sleep too much, eat too much and just feel blah.. try and exercise and jumpstart your bodies own natural endorphins. What is wealth when your body is becoming impoverished by this drug?
I actually have only went without my MEDS if I run out 1or 2 days early. THEN I get so depressed and have this craving inside me thats a hollow void that cant be filled until med day. YES, my DR did prescribe zanex with the ADDERALL because she and I came to the conclusion that the adderall would slow my thoughts down so that i could concentrate on one thing at a time(UNFORTUNATELY I ALWAYS DWELL ON THE NEGATIVES) and the zanex is for my social anxiety disorder. I TEND TO GET IRRITATED AND ANNOYED WITH PEOPLE VERY EASY, the zanex takes some of that away, and it also takes my headaches away which is a side effect of the adderall. I AM A VERY STRUCTURED PERSON, and i dont know if i could take time off from my meds.I AM ADDICTED and would be very disgruntled without them. ALSO I do feel the initial effect of meds almost everytime i take them it just goes away too fast. ANY OTHER ADVICE OH AND THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO HELP ME
I am sorry that I came off as someone who looks down upon people who are financially not as blessed as I have been. THAT was not my intention, it is hard for me to take advice from family and friends who only feel that their statements are fact and not opinions though. MY problem is that unless IT LOGICALLY makes since, I cant just say ok dad,mom,buddie, etc.. your right. THATS WHY I TRUELY APPRECIATE YOUR RESPONSE and want to say thank you for your advice..
Have you ever taken 'medication breaks' at all? I have been on both Adderall and Adderall XR for the past 4 years and have had problems with building tolerance as well. I would need to take more and more throughout the day to keep my focus, which led to high anxiety and the 'up and down' feeling constantly. One thing I have noticed that really helps is taking little breaks with the medicine.. my doctor suggested to take like a week off meds every couple of months or so... I do this in between school semesters and durning the summer and Its always been really refreshing to take some time off the meds to recoup, eat well, sleep well, and get the feeling of the 'old me' (aka non-medicated) back. It's hard to stay completely off the meds, but after the first time I really enjoyed the little breaks. Its great to get the 'old you' feeling back and to allow yourself time to be creative, hyper, and unfocused. Then, when I would start back on the medicine, I would actually feel it working again like how it used to when I first started on it years ago. Maybe you just need a good break off the meds and when you start again try lowering your dose a little and see if it works...
Also, did your doctor instruct you to take the Zanex and Adderall at the same time? That seems very odd considering Zanex is a type of benzodiazepine, which has high sedative qualities, so taking a sedative and a stimulant at the same time would just seem to me to counter each other and maybe that is why you feel you are needing more and more Adderall?
I hope things work out for you!
Also, did your doctor instruct you to take the Zanex and Adderall at the same time? That seems very odd considering Zanex is a type of benzodiazepine, which has high sedative qualities, so taking a sedative and a stimulant at the same time would just seem to me to counter each other and maybe that is why you feel you are needing more and more Adderall?
I hope things work out for you!
I am not a Dr., but just from reading what you have written, it sounds like you still have some emotion. If were all gone, you would be totally oblivious to the fact that you see that you need to be more emotional, and see that you should be caring about certain people more than you are or differently than you are. I was not sure if I should respond or not considering your comment on not wanting to take other advice in your life since they are not in the sane Financial status you are. But, I just felt like I needed to express what i felt when I read your statement. As for certain drugs changing people, I have had experience with that and they can change a person or take control of someone. I personally have always feared becoming addicted to drugs and so on, considering my father was an alcoholic. Anyway, I wish you luck, and hope that you find happiness again.
Nikki
Nikki
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