Excessive hugging in Kindergarten??

[MArie825]

My 6 year old daughter (Kindergarten) is not classified as learning disabled,however, we suspect she has some ADHD symptoms.  She was evaluated about 2 years ago and our pediatrician felt she couldn't be further evaluated until she was 6 or 7.  Given these symptoms, she seems to function pretty well in school and with new friends.

Our greater concern is her excessive hugging.  Even after I have reinforced extensively that she should not to hug small children withing out asking their parents, not to hug adults (except for her family), and to ask her friends for hugs, within minutes, she forgets.  We had this conversation today and when we went to pick up her little sister from daycare, she immediately went to hug another 2.5 year old.  After being scolded, she saw some old friends and one of the Moms and immediately went right up to the Mom and hugged her and the proceeded to hug her other friends (she initiated most of the hugging and her hugs are VERY strong to the point that she tries to pick up her friends).   Other times, she has accidentally hugged an adult she "thought' was someone she new and then immediately backs off.  

We don't know what to do about this behavior which occurs very infrequently in her public Kindergarten class because of the very formal setting.   She is very big for 6.  Though smaller children like her (she is very friendly), I'm afraid she might upset someone and also I'm concerned about how she herself may not be able to distinguish potentially a "bad touch" when she is so inclined to hug so many adults.  Please help!!

Thank you

[sunnylee]

My sons, both ADHD do the same thing.  But my older son, now 8, is the big hugger.  He wants to hug his friends, teachers, everybody.  The thing with true ADHD is that they constantly have a need for attention.  Regardless of how much attention you, it will not be enough.  They thrive on this.  If you don't say you did good today or something like that, they will seek it out.  If I say to my younger son, wow that's nice or your being good today, then my older son pipes up with what about me mom, am I being good, etc.  They both hug their teachers at school.  I can't say there is anything you can do about it.  I haven't found anything to dissuade them fro doing it.  It bothers me because I often think other people don't think I give enough attentions to my kids, but it's just the opposite.  I can't offer advice other than to say I think its normal in ADHD children.

[LRM1021]

There was a child in my son's K class who sounds just like your daughter.  She was quite the hugger -- boys and girls and parents-- you name it. She did grow out of this stage.

I would not worry about her upsettting anyone at this point-- because if she does something that offends a child, the child will let her know. And I cannot imagine a parent being upset at a sweet little girl hugging their child.


I think discussing with her the importance of appropriate vs. inappropriate affection is really key. It might also make sense, for her case, to try to get her to focus on how people are reacting to her actions.  If she tries to hug someone and they make a face or pull away -- she needs to know that its not welcome.  Perhaps you could do some role playing with her on both of these aspects so that she can become more aware of how to modify her behavior based on others reactions.

Frankly, I wish my child hugged too much -- hugs not slugs, you know what I mean?