Friends 5 year old very Impulsive

[madchelsea]

Hello, My friend's teacher has repeatedly told her that her five year old son JJ is having social and behavioral issues at school.  He doesn't listen, sit still, and when asked to do something, he often repeats what the teacher or other parent's had asked in a mocking voice or tries to be funny.  Bottom line he responds inappropriately.  The other day, JJ and some five year olds, were in a school play.  He was the only child that kept talking to his mom from the stage, and began distracting the other kids.  An adult had to come on stage to control him.

My friend says that all this is in reaction to his initial bullying at school at the beginning of the year but I noticed that he was slightly off before school had started.  My own son has sensory issues and mild hypotonia, and coordination issues so it makes it easier for me to spot other children that can be slightly off. He is a nice boy but doesn't seem to understand simple situations at least compared to other kids at his school and the same age group.  He often gets to close to other children and doesn't seem aware of his space in relation to others.  He also has an awkard gait and isn't too coordinated.  So far seems quite intelligence and has good comprehension to stories he hears.

Should she consult with someone?  She thinks that its everyone's fault - the teacher's, the other kids and the move to a new place.  I've asked her to see an OT but she said the school doesn't think he needs it but they also said that about my son.  I took my own son to an OT and we discovered many underlying issues that made sense out of his behavior. My son after two years of therapy is a new person. Anyway, I just want to help my friend get early intervention.

[Sandman2]

   Since the school year is over, there is most probably no help there - at least till the first grade teacher gets involved.  Is he still 5 - sounds kind of young?  When is his birthday?
It is possible that part of this is maturation, but it does seem (by your description) like it could be ADHD.
   Its possible that when the child is home with mom this summer, that his actions will cause her to say something to you.  If that happens - hand her the book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.   Then ask her to see if any of the material in the book seems helpful.
   She seems to be in a bit of denial.  That's too bad, because if he does have something that is causing these behaviors (beside outside influences) - the sooner it is identified and treated, the better his chances for a more normal childhood are.

[benjimom]

Yes, it sounds like she should get some help for him.  The schools aren't really supposed to tell you to do this or do that and they arne't good at recognizing things like sensory issues, they loop everything into a behavioral sense not seeing anything beneath it.  

Is his behavior always bad or does he have good days/bad days, etc?  

I would just mention it in a kind way and tell her your experiences with you son, but don't go overboard or she might not be open to it.  People have to come to term with things in their own time....