new forum

[tiffanylove90]

is tthis a new forum there are no post would like some input about spousal abuse

[April2]

What you are describing is emotional abuse which can be worse in a lot of ways than physical abuse because it tears down your self-esteem. The bruises on the outside can heal quicker than the bruises on the inside, if you know what I mean. The longer you stay with him and allow him to treat you like that and talk to you like that, the more you die a little inside until you are so numb that you can't feel anything. It's a protective measure but it's a dangerous place to be. Once you get like that you will find no joy in life.

You have your child to think of too. He is watching how your husband treats you and if it continues then he will think that's alright or the way you're supposed to treat a woman. Then when he grows up, he will treat his girlfriend or wife the same way because that's the example he had growing up. And the cycle will contine unless you can get out and break the cycle. I know you don't want to think your sweet little boy would ever be like that, but give him 15 years and see what a difference it can make. He will lose respect for you and think you are weak. He will think that's how men treat women. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm trying to warn you. He will have more respect for you if you take him and leave this abusive relationship.

My mother left an abusive husband. She actually had to grab us kids up out of our beds in the middle of the night in our PJ's and run with us because he came home drunk and threatened to burn the house down with all of us in it. We went to a friends house first, but my mom moved to another state, got a job at a bank, got us a place to live and supported three kids by herself. (He didn't pay child support) It wasn't easy and we didn't have a lot of money, but she did it. And I have more respect for her for doing it. She was willing to make a lot of sacrifices for her kids. Eventually, she met and married my stepfather who is the best thing that could have ever happened to her and us kids. He is the man I call father. He is the one who was there for all of us kids.

You have to think about your son and what is best for him. Don't stay in an abusive relationship. You and your son deserve better. I wish you well. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. God bless.

[NewLeaf]

Your story sounds like my daughters marrage. Over the years, I have even witnessed her husband doing the same things you say your husband does, saying she is stupid and useless and even some violence. Today, after 8 years of marrage, 3 children later, they are both drug addicts and homeless.  These behaviors can take a person down a road they never dreamed of even in their worst nightmare. Get out now while you still have enough sanity to question the abusive behavior he has towards you, if not, one day you may find you believe it and he is the only one who will ever love you and all your self respect is gone... gone and you are the worthless piece of whatever he keeps telling you are and treating you like.  My daughter even as I write this ,still will not leave her husband... think about it, could that be you in a few more years?

[tiffanylove90]

I guess i should explain i was in an abusive relationship for 11 years physically abusive i lost my children because of it be cause they said i had "battered women syndrome" and" a dependent personalty disorder " i went though counseling for 2 years for this and i thought i had it licked when i met my now husband but, his abuse is different then before so i didn't see ti coming he tells me everyday how no one will ever want me , calls me stupid ,lazy and if i leave him he will find some one 7 times better then me and bla blah bla . well i know he is trying to be manipulative some times i just blow him off and other time's i feel very threatened that he will leave he makes me so crazy if he was doing  this to my child i would tell him to go to hell. it seems the times i feel strong is when our 19 month old son is around when he starts on me It is very easy to shut him down anyway maybe its not abuse just normal relationship cr*p any thought s i am not scared of him at all just feel beat mentally sometimes

[Lezieh]

I had one boyfriend who laid his hands on me, once, which left a bruise.  After he put his hands on me I turned around and kicked his a**!  I did a roundhouse kick right into his stomach and started wailing on him.  Never did a person abuse me again!  I will never let it happen!  Don't be a victim!  No matter what it takes!  Learn self-defense, I did.  And it saved me.  You have to be strong, mind and body.  For goodness sakes, you don't want your present/future kids being in something like that.  Trust me on this one.  The mental scars will last a life time for your kids and then it may pass on to other things such as pets or their kids.  Leave him now before it is too late.  Keep us posted and I wish you all the best of luck!

[allyhou]

He never physically harmed me, but there was definite potential. There was financial, emotional, verbal and social abuse, but altogether I guess I feel very guilty for leaving.  I feel guilty that I never allowed him the chance to go to counseling.  He has repeatedly asked this of me.  I feel that given the situation, he will manipulate the entire session.  I know leaving was the right thing to do, but sometimes I really resent the help I got to make the decision to leave so abruptly.  

[allyhou]

Today would have been my 2 year anniversary.  We were married 3 months before I left.  Actually my guy was a real gem and had quite the personality. It was what drew me to him.  But,  behind closed doors was another story.  Noone ever saw the real guy that I saw.  Immediately after our marriage  he began to corner me, use language that I had never heard him speak before ( foul language eventually crept into our bed ).  We had roommates at the time, and he posted my rent like I was still his roomie, he refused to plan together, or have joint checking accounts, he couldn't stand that I didn't have the same passions as he does.  For example going to the lake every Friday.........and I mean every Friday.  He laid the guilt trip for my every move. If I wanted to go roller-blading he would wonder why I didn't want him to go.........."to spend time together"  Waah, waah.  I was going crazy.  I thought every time I made a decision to do something that didn't involve him, I was being selfish.  I began to think I wasn't loving or caring....as he told me repeatedly.  The 4th day after we got married, I was rushed to the hospital b/c I couldn't breathe..  I did some research, and come to find out, his ex left b/c of some stress related disease.  Oh yes, I was going downhill.

[lonote]

Anyone abusing you , mentally, physically, or emotionally, Dump him. Its totally unexceptable For someone to toy with your hear, emotions or put thier hansd on you in an unkind way. It will only get worse. I'm 53 sweetie, and when I was 22, my ex husband was out on a 3 day bender (drinking) And I was p---ed off, I went off on him. "Where the hell have you been you s.o.b.?) He popped me in the mouth, knocked out a bottom front tooth, and my jaws were wired shut for three months, while a busted jaw healed.  No man has put their hands on me like that ever again. Totally unexceptable. That isn't what love is supposed to feel like.  Cathy

[mylilmia]

Has your husband always been abusive, when did it begin?

[tiffanylove90]

i was just thinking i needed somewhere to talk about my probs w a cotrolling abusiive husband

[Med Help]

Hi,

Yes, this is a brand new forum that just kicked off today. However, it was suggested by other members from the community so we expect a lot of traffic shortly. Please feel free to post.

MedHelp