Is it possible he isn't cheating while smoking crack?

[twinkle0206]

Hi, I am new to all this, I don't use any kind of drugs...I only drink beer from time to time.  I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years, we live together...I have a 14 yr old dauhter that lives with us.  My boyfriend steals my car and my phone while I am asleep and oes on crack binges..I have Food Stamps for me and my daughter and he has even sold that for crack leaving us with no food.  He took our tax money and was gone for three days leavin me with no car nor phone.  He always comes back regeretful and feeling very low about himself...Last week we had an arguement and he took my car, as soon as i noticed my car gone i called a friend to come get me...I sorta of know where he goes to get his fix..it's 4 blocks over...where crackheads walk the street...i found him and he had a women with him....I made her get out of the car and talked him into coming home...on the way home he drove thru that neighborhood and was flagged down by another woman, he stopped and let her in...with me screaming and hitting him telling him no!!!  He just kept saying" she is just going to get my crack thats all" " i'm sorry"....in conversation after this come to find out thats all he has getting his crack is women...all 4 times...he says they getin the car show him where to go, get his crack, he carries them back and smokes it by himself...i ask what they got out of it, he said they get some of the crack for themsleves....I know notheing about crack, he say he can't et an erection while on crack...Is he cheating with these women or is it possible to ride with these ****** for days and not be sexual at all??    Note...when he gets home after his binges, he is really turned on and wanting sex from me! .

[twinkle0206]

Thank you for your reply....I wish I could be sure of him cheating or not...I thought about even going and asking those women myself, they are on the streets everyday and night....But I know they wouldn't tell me....I have been hiding my keys every night...he only does it when he gets drunk..it's like he doesn't care who he hurts and what he does to my daughter..she has even begged him not to do it again..I have been in very abusive relationships, but this one hurts the most...He is a very good person and he works hard,

[foolslove]

I am in the same boat as you.  It's really freakin hard.

[atthebeach]

hun, it is better to be by yourself than to be in abusive relationships.
please go to alanon meetings. you will learn alot about yourself and co-dependency. you deserve to be treated better. you are a beautiful woman ,a mother to your daugthers. you need to exhibit a self love for yourself,  and for  them so they dont chose the wrong relationships also.


here is the link for alanon.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

your boyfriend needs to help yourself. you cant fix him. he has to man up to his addictions and issues and seek help. you cant help him unless he helps himself. he will drag you down.if he has a place to always go back to and can steal from you, at this point you are an enabler. that is co-dependency. please be concerned for you and your daughters.
that is wonderful you have a supportive family.take care of you and your family. he has to find his own way
may the LORD bless you,
debbie

[twinkle0206]

Just wondering, how old is your friend?  I am 44 yrs old and my boyfriend is 34...wondering if  this is something he will "grow out" of.....?? I feel like im raising two teenagers...

[texaslady68]

Twinkle, I am 43 and he is 44.  There is no "growing out" of a crack addiction unfortunately. It will take extensive treatment and rehabilitation and even that has not helped my friend.  Not even the threat of jail multiple times has kept him away from it.  He has lost all of his friends.  his  mother is an enabler is the only reason he is not out of the streets.  You really need to find a man who is going to love you and your daughter more than he loves a drug.

[minn66]

Hun, I really feel for you. My ex-husband was an alcoholic. In fact, he still is. While it is two different substances, we have the abusive relationship in common. He would swear there weren't, but later I learned there were other women. It was one of the hardest things I ever did, but I ended up leaving. Since you have somewhere to go, leave before you waste years on waiting for something that will most likely never happen. Best of luck and I will be praying for you.

Hugs,

Minn

[overopiates]

Yes its quite possible he isnt cheating with these other crackheads.Thats what they do get a peice of dope for getting it for him.Heres the thing why is that ur main concern(although to b sure I would get tested).He is having the ultimate affair.A true love type of one with crack.Its more important to him than ANYTHING ELSE INCLUDING U&UR DAUGHTER.I assume thats clear by stealing ur car,money&even ur food stamps so u r stranded broke&hungry.U r a classic enabler(ALONON would help u a lot).Ive seen this exact same thing w/my sister who has2kids w/a crackhead.He did exactly the same stuff&more.U need to stop worrying about trivial stuff when u need to focus on ur daughter.He isnt going to change thats obvious so u need to put ur big girl panties on&kick him out,dnt take him back&focus on ir family(which he is doing nothing but damaging btw)Im putting u out of this for a moment u have a14yr old who is not only going w/o but knows exactly whats going on(if u have convinced irself any different ur lying to urself).Ur showing her it is ok to b treated this way and thats what she will end up doing having a LONG line of awful relationships where she sacrafices hers&those around her including her kids when she has them for a man that is a loser.U r choosing this man&awful relationship over her whether u realize it or not.OPEN UR EYES HE IS A LOSER,USER,CRACKHEAD LIAR!!!My sister left her loser w/2kids w/him&is doing amazing,happy&he has SLOWLY over4+yrs tried to get his life together.Regaurdless though he has been smoking,getting clean&relapsing for over20years(he was29got her pregnant a week before her18th birthday).u cant and wont     change him&he may or may not b cheating   dont have sex with him,get rid of him,get  testwe