dumb jokes, don't hurt me..LOL

[sadinmichigan]

Two guys were standing on the roof of their building drinking a few beers on their break and one guy said, to the other did you know that if you jump off this building, after you get down so far, a draft will pull you back inside the building on the third floor?"Where the bar was..

"Get outta here," said the other guy.

"No I'm serious, watch me."

So the one guy hopped off the building and sure enough, he was taken in by the draft at the third floor balcony of the bar.. He took the elevator back to the top to the utter amazement of the other guy.

"I can't believe it."

"I know you should try it.Said the other guy..

So he thought he give it a try and hopped off and plunged into the ground. The one guy went back into the bar

the bartender looked at him and said...Your a real a$$hole when your drunk Superman..

[CadillacJack]

On Superman:

Any duck could have done the same thing.

cj

[Mikeinthesouth]

I think there are only three true colors red yellow and blue.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I just loved your list - and it was sooooo in tune with the real world. By the way, do we really have more than 5 colors? I need to check a rainbow next time I see one. Or could I just google "colors"? Have a great week ............

[Savas]

Heh heh...that reminds me of that piece written by Nivens;

"Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex." :)

[dominosarah]

I love this one!!!!

[Mikeinthesouth]

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
No maxi-pads
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
The world is your urinal

2 funny

[confused456]

That man one is good but I resent some of those cuz I can actually qualify in some of those!! LOL

[sadinmichigan]

1. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rat's *** if someone notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

[sadinmichigan]

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints,and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU *******!!!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

That was funny! Lmao

[Jacqui805]

LOL...that's a good one!