Advice on morhine withdrawal/very close to giving up

[Andrel]

I have a question about any natural methods, or methods I can ask my dr help with, to make withdrawing from morphine 60 mg a day for chronic pain easier. I know the hell I am in for, I've been in and out of withdrawal every time my dr is late on refilling my prescription which has happened 7 times in 1 year. I go through 3 days of withdrawal and the worst pain of my  life with severe migraines once the withdrawal hits. I used to think I had the flu, then I realized my dr was wrong when he put  me on morphine. He said that if you take as prescribed you won't become addicted. Maybe this is so mentally, but the body becomes dependant on it. I've been on it since 2001, and just this last year have been figuring out that I am having physical withdrawal from it. I've been battling severe migraines since I was 13. One dr after another has dropped me once they realize they have tried all they could and nothing was working. Finally a nuerolgist told me that the body builds up a tolerance to imitrex and other preventative meds, and there are times you need to be on morphine to keep out of the ER. At the time I wholeheartedly agreed because I remember that day I was about to go the ER after the dr. visit. Being prescibred morphine which they give at the ER because nothing else works, was saving me thousands of dollars we didn't have.  I should have researched it better, or done something to educate me that a person should be rotated off of meds after 6 months, so that a tolerance doesn't occur. It makes sense that after more than 10 years my body would build a tolerance and now I have to pay through pain and extreme migraine pain, and a few heart attacks and one stroke......lots of ER bills and more ER bills to pay now than what I had back then. If my dr had told me back then what this would be like, this absolute terror feeling and heart pain, high blood pressure 153/108 and 140 pulse rate......I would have said no, lets find something else. I didn't do that over 10 years ago. I was thankful for the pain relief until it stopped working. When it stopped working and another dr upped the doseage it only made things worst. I have to survive this. I have two college age children. I love them with all my heart. I can't give in the easy way and off myself no matter how bad the pain is.  If there is anyone who has been through this, and can give me any advice of how to go through it without heart problems, no sleep for days, or that extreme terror inside of you that you can't escape please help. I am very strong. When the pain gets to a level 10 from migraines and my heart feels like another heart attack.....i can't think through the pain. I'm honestly very worried I won't make it out alive without losing my family.....or not making it out alive out of extreme pain and give in finally to what is dim thoughts of suicide to stronger thoughts.....and I can't do that to my children.

[atthebeach]

sorry hit enter by accident. please dont say things about suicide. there is always hope. i am praying for you and asking the LORD to comfort you and to give you strength and peace. you can do this. you are so worth it. please get to some counseling to help you deal with your fears, anxietys, and sense of hopelessness. i am encouraging you to keep posting. someone is always here to listen and offer help and hope.
btw i love eugene. i lived in florence on the coast back in the late 70's and early 80's. i spent time in eugene, in the willamette valley, i took dance classes at the college there.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie

[atthebeach]

hello and welcome. the doctor can prescribe clonidine. it is a bp med that helps ease withdrawal symptoms. get some immodium.
please look at the bottom of this page for the health pages there is alot of useful information there.
when you take the meds for to long not only do you become dependent and built up a tolerance you also actually experience worse pain, it is rebound pain.
hot baths with epsom salts for the aches and pains.
many people are actually able to handle their pain with otc meds. it will take about a month to re-evaluate your pain.
stress is a huge trigger for migranes, . have you tried massage or acupunture?