Your kids will remember you as a fun Mom, because you are. My Mom was very unhappy and mean when she drank and cried alot so that's what I remember.
Dove
Its nice to know that they will probably not remember all of this. I just want them to remember a fun mom who was always there for them. I really need to do this!!!
Your young and so our you kids. You still have time.
Growing up my mother was an alcoholic, but I didn't know it until I grew up. I did sense something was not normal in my family.
Dove
Hi there.
I can relate to feeling like I have wasted so much life on being addicted to opiates. My son is almost 8 and my daughter will be 6 soon....and a year before my son was born I have been addicted to oxys, vics, fentanyl pops & patches, methadone etc. Its so sad to look back and think that my whole sons life and daughter's, I have been struggling with this hell and I feel as if i have missed out on so much!!!! It is so depressing when you think about how much life you have missed out on because of this disease. I want to be the mom that plays with them everyday and laughs with them. I want them to have great memories of their childhood and not of there mother looking as if she is dying on the couch every day because I have not an ounce of energy to play with them or do anything for that matter. I am only 33 years old and I have wasted a quarter of my life being addicted to pills. I dont want to be that mother that sees her kids off to college and wonder where did all those years go?
It's nice to know someone is out there listening. For a long time I felt like I was alone and not to many other people had the same problem.
The message I would like people to get from my posts is that don't be like me and waste time. I'm 51 and have wasted so many years being wasted from one thing or the other.
Dove
For some reason I like reading your posts. You have interjected your thoughts into threads I have started and that others have started. I have really appreciated your thoughts because it seems to me that you really tend to be a compassionate and understanding person.
You're not fooling yourself. That's the addict in you talking. I've learned that I... let's stress the "I" can't listen to the addict (devil) part of me any more. Of course you're not kidding yourself. This addiction is kidding you. Don't put up with it! You've got to fight like you're fighting for your F REAKING life here cuz that's what this is really all about!
We're all here for ya and even though I'm only on 24 hours and 30 minutes (yes I count the minutes) I know the ride you're on cuz we are on the same boat.... same destination! Hang in there and continue with your taper. Don't give in! You've gotta fight Rocky! You've gotta fight! I can hear the music now! Dummmm... dumm.. dum.. dummmmm.... It actually gave me chills (maybe that was the WD's) :) Anyway. Hang in there. It's all worth it. I've been on the other side before and I know it will all be worth it!
Trout
Trout
Hi Hun!
I don't think you are fooling yourself. The mere fact that you came here for help and took people's advise, tells me you want this. Tapering is tough and it was never an option for me. The temptation was too great.
Stop beating yourself up. I am proud of you for what you are doing.
Hang in there and post whenever you need to vent..or scream..or cry. Someone will always be here for you.
You are not fooling yourself. If can be done. I tried and tried so many times and thought to myself that I was joking with myself and that I could never get off these LIFE RUINERS...but sure as the sun will shine, I did. I feel great, and am happy...all while being sober. I used to think that I would never be happy again without the help of pills. And that is just not true. YOu can do it. You just have to want to, plain and simple...you HAVE TO WANT TO ....there is no other way around it. If you don't want to, then you never will be able to rid yourself. It is a life long battle, but you truly have to want to be done. There is no other way to beat it. If you don't really want to be done, it will be an on going cycle for the rest of your life. There is a wonderful life without the help of pills...you just have to figure out how to get back there....Good Luck...
Lisa