Anyone have Rehab experiences to share with me?

[Wardman]

I am debating the issue of going to rehab.  I have excellent insurance, so I am lucky.  I just can't get over three days without massive debillitating deression.  I am weighing all my options.  Any feedback would help.  I Have CTed a few times and if I can make it a week I can last a long time without even thinking of drugs or cravings.

[katrinawyne]

Yea, I know, but its the only place I could find to vent.

[Beccabeccalynn]

Can you say very very old post?

[katrinawyne]

Ah Rehab, My husband just went thru a major surgery a Brain Aneursym Clipping and detoxed at the same time @ Johns Hopkins in Baltimore,from Alcohol and Oxys, believe me it was rough, his Neuro Surgeon (one of the finest in the world) didn't administer any narcotics no methadone, but was allowing ativan and something else and benzos for anxiety, and hes fine, by fine I mean no brain damage. Honestly, he was more worried abt the detox than the brain surgery.  He now wants to enroll in an inpatient rehab and we are having a difficult time finding a quality facility in Maryland. We looked at a treatment facility called "Father Martins Ashley", the same Father Martin that rehabbers are familiar with from Chalk Talk. The hoops that they have us jumping through along with our health insurers is beyond comprehension. We've provided them with everything that they are requesting and they still want more.  What it boils down to is $$$$. Ashley will cost $22000.00. The other facility we are looking at is at Sheppard Pratt it called "The Retreat" and again it self pay and the cost $1950.00 a day of around $40,000.00. Because of my husband surgery we have stay local within a safe distance of Johns Hopkins should he have a seizure which could still happen even though he on meds to prevent it from happening. The rest of the rehabs in Maryland which our insurance covers are what I refer to as holding pens, and house the worst of Baltimore. I told my husband he might as well wait till his neuro surgeon clears him to fly and go Eric Claptons place Crossroads. All the places I have checked, have the status "NON PROFIT but when you look a little deeper that does seem to be the case. Someone is making alot of money at the misfortune of the addicted and thats a crime. I also think its awful to promote a facility from the good things Father Martin promoted and dedicated his life to, I think his name is being dragged through the mud. Somehow I would like promote this story and make it viral accross the internet. We have been seeking help for over a week and really are ready to give up.  

[monkeyfluffer]

My Gawd, you all have no idea how depressing it is to see people talking about how hard they have it coming down off Lortabs or Ultram... not to make light of your problems but talk to me when you've been on huge doses of Methadone or heroin for 5+ years!  I could probably take a whole bottle of hydrocodone and it wouldn't even put a dent in my withdrawals.  It seems like once you go down the methadone path nobody can help you; rehab is an unattainable paradise that I have no hope of ever being able to pay for and only a small chance of it actually "working", suboxone is not affordable and most doctors will either send you to meetings (which do nothing but frustrate me especially in the throes of full-on withdrawal) or to another methadone clinic when the 12 steps fails you AGAIN.  Which has all led me to believe my only out is death.  Believe me, I have wanted NOTHING more than to be clean for YEARS now, even more so all the times I've "gotten help," but nobody can help me and I obviously can't help myself.  And yes I am spiritual but Jesus hasn't been my answer yet despite all kinds of desperate and sincere prayer.  I have all the willpower, strength, intelligence, and especially desire to kick this BS but I'm definitely losing hope.  So, my fellow opiate lovers, resist the methadone at all costs because I would not wish my bottomless pit of a miserable existence on my worst enemy.

[mscow]

Hey Lis.... This is from your FAVORITE sister-in-law lol... I just wanted to let you know how VERY proud I am of you, I've seen you come a long way and I know that it was REAL hard for you, but you did it. You made it look easy. To get off those pills, that is. You're around them all day long, and you're still not tempted to do them. How do you do it? Anyway, I know that I've aiready told you that I'm proud of you, I just wanted to say it to the whole computer world to let you know that I'm sincere and SERIOUS about it. When I told you, I didn't think you really took it to heart, but maybe this will convince you somehow. Thats all I wanted to say. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! LOVE YA!!!  
                          MSCOW

[Kbuffy]

Thanks! I just wanted to say- Yes it does get better! Hang in there! I wish you could have got some kind of medication to help you thru the hardest days? When I did the detox. my doctor gave me the five meds. I mentioned before (detox. cocktail). Phenobarbital, Dicyclomine,Clonidine,Methocarbamol, and Ultram. They are to help with fever,chills,body aches, muscle spasms,bladder spasms,and for mild sedation. They do help. I can't imagine trying detox. without these, or something similar. The first night of my detox. I didn't think I would make it. I was holding a bottle of Darvacet in my hands, screaming and crying to my husband that I just couldn't do it. It was too hard!! He told me to just take the Darvacet, that I probably would not be successful anyway, and left the room. I did not take them. I threw them across the room, laid there and somehow, cried myself to sleep. I woke up in an hour or two, and a friend had come by to check on me. I asked her to take me to the E.R. I couldn't stand it anymore, and it was only the first night! The doctor at the E.R. gave me a shot of valium, which I had never had before. It helped alot and I was able to sleep the rest of the night. I guess so, with all that medicine put together! I was lucky to get that help. I just knew once that doctor found out that I was trying to detox. he would figure it was my time to "pay the fiddler", ya know? He turned out to be very kind. Well, best of luck to you, and thanks for making me feel welcomed here. Thanks to Debbie and bmca also.

[jack daniels]

i love my rehab...it's the only way i get through the day....lean on these people they can handle it......you have the same story as most if us...good luck...myself i'm 9 days clean today...but day 8 was very rough!!  But i'm hanging like a tough DOG......WHAT KIND OF HELL HAVE WE ALL GOT OUR SELFS INTO...I HEAR IT GETS BETTER...I HAVE NOT SEEN IT YET...GOD I HOPE I WILL LIVE THROUGH THIS..GOOD LUCK AND PEACE TO ALL....LIFE IS A TRIP....JACK

[bmac]

You would not believe the number of people who type in that phrase and end up here. This place is for us and we need it to be here whenever we return. Enjoy this and learn something about yourself from others. Please go up top and post something. Everyone is warm and wants to help. Welcome to addiction hell
                    bmac

[Kbuffy]

It feels so good to know that there are other people out there that have the same problem I do or did....not sure which? Anyway, I am also new here. I found this site 3 days ago, and cried for hours while I read comment after comment. See, I have only had my computer for 2 mths. and never been online before. This is all very new to me. I do not have anyone that I can talk to about my addiction. My friend and family are either addicts that are in denial, or very mean and judgemental. My husband takes vicodin, soma, and smokes a butt-load of pot, but he says he is NOT an addict-only me. He also calls me names daily, dopehead,junkie,loser etc. So I don't get much support there. I just sent an email to DEBBIE, because she had left her email address here and I would love to have someone to talk to that can relate to where I am. Let me now explain where I am, in my addiction. I started to abuse vicodin or norco 10/325 about 3-4 yrs. ago. I started taking them for ruptured or herniated disc in my back and also degen. disc disease. I went to a pain management doctor and he started me out on Ultram, which did not ease the pain, so switched me to the norco. He would give me 6-8 per day and of course I got to where I was running out at the end of the month. I would buy them from friends when I could. After a while, his PA added methadone along with the norco. I loved it!!!!! There was nothing I couldn't do. Never felt so good in all my life! Then my mother decided to call him and tell him I was abusing the meds. and he dropped me! I called to check on my refill for the month and by then I was out and sicker than a dog. The nurse informed me that the doctor felt as tho I was abusing the meds. and she gave me a phone # and name of another doctor to call for further assistance. I thought I would die that day!!! After I got over the shock, I did call and spoke with the sec./nurse there. She was very nice and seem to know me better than I knew myself, at that point. She told me that I needed to get there to the office ASAP because I would be going into withdrawl any time, if not already. I was already having withdrawl, but didn't know it. I felt real sick, but never thought of it being withdrawl. I guess I was in denial then. Anyway, I was so afraid to go there, not sure what they would do to me. I thought they would tie me to a bed and leave me alone in some hospital bed!! The doctor laughed so hard as I told him that, when I finally went in. He was an extremely nice, caring person. I am so thankful for him!! He really cares about his patients. Well, he ended up giving me 2 weeks worth of Norco and then put me on 5 different meds. that he calls "the cocktail" for detox. I called some places about rehab.(inpat.) but decided to weather the storm at home. I was told to stay on the detox. meds. for 5 days, to sleep thru as much as possible. The first 2 days were the worst for me, and then after day 3 I didn't take anymore of the detox. med. My problem is that due to back pain, I need some type of pain relief and was put right back on the Norco, but not as many, and no methadone. My doctor doesn't write anyone scripts for methadone. Now back in Nov. of 2002 he told all his pat. that he was switching everyone to Buprenex. You had 30 days to decide if you wanted to make the switch or find another doctor. So now, I am on the Buprenex injectable. and it relieves my pain, but I am worried about some of the comments I have read that it is harder to get off of than heroin. I would appreciate any info. Please email me ***@**** and also put something like MEDHELP in the subject line, so I know to open it. That's my rehab. experience and part of my life-story, heehee, sorry! Thanks for listening (or reading) and I am SO GLAD to have found this place, you just don't know how much I needed this!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you are all just awesome for your courage and strength, from what I have read so far!  Bless you all, Kbuffy

[bmac]

Yeah, I wish she'd come back. I need a good fight every once in awhile. I do miss her..............Not! LOL

[Chezz2]

Bmac,

I thinks it was love at 1st sight!!!  ;)

Chezz

[bmac]

You know if I posted to her, it has to be her. Remember the LOVE/HATE relationship we had months ago? I couldn't ever figure out if I was turned on or turn off by her. I love to fight with her type!
LOL
Rachael if it's you, welcome back Sexy! ***@****
                 Your Bmac!

[Chezz2]

Jess,

You are toooooooo much. I guess you can spot her a mile a way............
Chezz

[SarpyJesse]

Nice writing, Rachel (33).... Your style is unmistakable!

Good to see you back, but why not post under one of your old Pseudonyms so we "oldtimers" could say "Hi"?

Hope you're doing well.....

~~~Jess~~~

[bmac]

Welcome, you sound like you have it together mostly. Your story is alot like many here.
We always come back here to read or to post to new people. Regardless of why we are here it's all the reason, addition.
Well thanks for sharing your story and if you ever need us we are here. Maybe you can help others thru this hell with us!
Bmac     residentbassist@yahoo. com

[Debbie33]

Hi everyone.  Im new and my name is Debbie ( and im an addict ha ha )  anyways......i had a recent experience with a detox so i thought id add my two cents in here : )   This was my first, and hopefully last, experience with a detox center.  I do not say that in a negative manner at all, what i meant was that i hope i do not relapse so badly that  need to go back.  Let me tell you a little bit about my experience with opiates and then about my experience at the detox center.  I was a "goody goody" for years and years, didnt even drink or smoke pot but did, and still do, smoke ciggaretts.  I had a rough life (lost my virginity at age 12 through rape, mom was an alcoholic, parents divorced, lost a baby etc.. etc... ) so i was pretty much a depressed person....until i discovered percocet, vicodin, fentinayl and eventually oxycontin <---worst of the worse!  I guess thats how a lot of opiate addicts start out, they are depressed and "self-medicate"  and then "BAM" you end up physically and emotionally dependant on the ****.  Anyhow, i used for 3-4 years and my habit was getting out of control, big time.  The problem was i really didnt WANT to stop i just couldnt afford it anymore!  oxycontin is a VERY expensive habit and i was taking between 320-400 milligrams A DAY!  I had NO IDEA there were detox programs and medications to help people who were addicted to oxy's!!  i would sit here and cry "how am i going to get myself out of this???"  I went out on a limb and did a search online, punched in "oxycontin withdrawel" and found this forum actually lol......it is here that i found out about detox's for oxy's, inpatient, outpatient, methadone, half way houses, sobor houses......all of that.  I had heard about such things for heroin addicts but had no idea that there were such things for oxy's OR how much heroin and oxycontin had in common chemically!!!  One thing led to another and i found a detox center about 30-40 minutes from my home, problem was I have 3 children (ages 14,10 and 2)  So i had to decide how serious i was about this and found out i was pretty damn serious lol.....i wrote my mom an 8 page letter telling her EVERYTHING, handed it to her at her home and told her to call me after she read it.  An hour later she showed up at my door, i opened it and found her crying her eyes out and then holding me and we cried together.  See, like i said, i was "Mrs. Goody Goody"  no one had ANY IDEA that i was an addict.  Anyhow, i called the detox etc.. and she brought me up there the next morning and took a leave from work and watched my children for me.  The detox i went to you leave on the 9th day.  At first i was scared to death!!  but soon was made very comfortable from certain people there.  Ill be honest, some people there were, ummmm,  how do i say this?  "not normal"???  i guess that would about sum it up, but there were others there who were "normal" everyday people, like myself and some were there to truley detox, some for a "spin dry"  ( a new term i learned ) and some were homeless and needed somewhere to sleep for a few days.  There were  many different people with many different reasons for being there.  I stayed focused on ME and why I was there..to detox.  Within 15 minutes of being there i was given a dose of methadone, i had never taken methadone and was a bit scared but they said it would make me feel better, and it did.  It was the weirdest thing ive ever taken.  It took away ALL the symptoms of withdrawel.....most importantly ( to me anyways ) it took away any and ALL cravings for oxycontin!!!  yet i wasnt "high"  It was so strange!  no leg cramps, no back ache, no nausa, my fingers didnt hurt and honest to God if someone had come up to me and said "hey i snuck in a few 80's do you want them for free?"  id have said no!!  and i had a pretty hefty habit so to me this was amazing!!!  It was like a miracle drug for me!  It didnt get you "high" yet at the same time it didnt make you feel sick....no withdrawel symptoms what so ever!!  The problem was they taper you off the methadone rather quickly, they have to becuase yo have to leave the detox "drug free" so soon as the methadone began to wear off i began to feel more and more sick, the cravings came right back and i was sent home actually feeling pretty shitty, BUT the good part was during one of the meetings with my councelor i told her i wanted to sign up for the Methadone Maintenance program so i was sent home on a Thursday ( feeling miserable ) but had an appointment at the MMT (Methadone Maintenance Treatment ) clinic on Tuesday...i ended up being dosed on Wednesday, on Tuesday its a bunch of paperwork, meeting with the doctor etc...  I have to back up a minute though, on the Thursday i was sent home i only lasted about 2 hours and i was right back on the oxy's, percs, vikes, fentenayl patch etc... I did that all week actually until my appointment at the MMT clinic.  Today is Sunday, ive been clean for 5 days now on the methadone and i tell you, i LOVE it!!  before my children would say like "mom, next weekend can we do this or that?"  and i would always have to say "we will see" becuase i didnt know if i was going to be dope sick or whatever but NOW......oh God NOW???  now i can make plans way ahead and dont have to worry about being dopesick!!  and God willing will never have to again!!  : )   i know there is a lot of contraversy regarding methadone but im serious, this medication works GREAT!!!  it saved my life ( along with all of you people on this message board. Had i not found this site and you people, i probably wouldnt be here right now, i really really mean that too )  Ive done a lot of reading on methadone so if anyone would like any info etc... or would just like to chat about methadone, recovery.....heck anything at all, please feel free to email me, anytime!!  ive lost most of my friends due to the drugs ( some i had been friends with for over 18 years )  so i dont have many people i can talk to about this stuff.  My email is ***@****   Put something in the subject line that will let me know your from the message board so i wont delete you by accident lol.  Take care everyone and best wishes on your road to recovery!!!!!!!!!  ((((((((((HUGGS)))))))))))
Debbie

[Debbie33]

Hi everyone.  Im new and my name is Debbie ( and im an addict ha ha )  anyways......i had a recent experience with a detox so i thought id add my two cents in here : )   This was my first, and hopefully last, experience with a detox center.  I do not say that in a negative manner at all, what i meant was that i hope i do not relapse so badly that  need to go back.  Let me tell you a little bit about my experience with opiates and then about my experience at the detox center.  I was a "goody goody" for years and years, didnt even drink or smoke pot but did, and still do, smoke ciggaretts.  I had a rough life (lost my virginity at age 12 through rape, mom was an alcoholic, parents divorced, lost a baby etc.. etc... ) so i was pretty much a depressed person....until i discovered percocet, vicodin, fentinayl and eventually oxycontin <---worst of the worse!  I guess thats how a lot of opiate addicts start out, they are depressed and "self-medicate"  and then "BAM" you end up physically and emotionally dependant on the ****.  Anyhow, i used for 3-4 years and my habit was getting out of control, big time.  The problem was i really didnt WANT to stop i just couldnt afford it anymore!  oxycontin is a VERY expensive habit and i was taking between 320-400 milligrams A DAY!  I had NO IDEA there were detox programs and medications to help people who were addicted to oxy's!!  i would sit here and cry "how am i going to get myself out of this???"  I went out on a limb and did a search online, punched in "oxycontin withdrawel" and found this forum actually lol......it is here that i found out about detox's for oxy's, inpatient, outpatient, methadone, half way houses, sobor houses......all of that.  I had heard about such things for heroin addicts but had no idea that there were such things for oxy's OR how much heroin and oxycontin had in common chemically!!!  One thing led to another and i found a detox center about 30-40 minutes from my home, problem was I have 3 children (ages 14,10 and 2)  So i had to decide how serious i was about this and found out i was pretty damn serious lol.....i wrote my mom an 8 page letter telling her EVERYTHING, handed it to her at her home and told her to call me after she read it.  An hour later she showed up at my door, i opened it and found her crying her eyes out and then holding me and we cried together.  See, like i said, i was "Mrs. Goody Goody"  no one had ANY IDEA that i was an addict.  Anyhow, i called the detox etc.. and she brought me up there the next morning and took a leave from work and watched my children for me.  The detox i went to you leave on the 9th day.  At first i was scared to death!!  but soon was made very comfortable from certain people there.  Ill be honest, some people there were, ummmm,  how do i say this?  "not normal"???  i guess that would about sum it up, but there were others there who were "normal" everyday people, like myself and some were there to truley detox, some for a "spin dry"  ( a new term i learned ) and some were homeless and needed somewhere to sleep for a few days.  There were  many different people with many different reasons for being there.  I stayed focused on ME and why I was there..to detox.  Within 15 minutes of being there i was given a dose of methadone, i had never taken methadone and was a bit scared but they said it would make me feel better, and it did.  It was the weirdest thing ive ever taken.  It took away ALL the symptoms of withdrawel.....most importantly ( to me anyways ) it took away any and ALL cravings for oxycontin!!!  yet i wasnt "high"  It was so strange!  no leg cramps, no back ache, no nausa, my fingers didnt hurt and honest to God if someone had come up to me and said "hey i snuck in a few 80's do you want them for free?"  id have said no!!  and i had a pretty hefty habit so to me this was amazing!!!  It was like a miracle drug for me!  It didnt get you "high" yet at the same time it didnt make you feel sick....no withdrawel symptoms what so ever!!  The problem was they taper you off the methadone rather quickly, they have to becuase yo have to leave the detox "drug free" so soon as the methadone began to wear off i began to feel more and more sick, the cravings came right back and i was sent home actually feeling pretty shitty, BUT the good part was during one of the meetings with my councelor i told her i wanted to sign up for the Methadone Maintenance program so i was sent home on a Thursday ( feeling miserable ) but had an appointment at the MMT (Methadone Maintenance Treatment ) clinic on Tuesday...i ended up being dosed on Wednesday, on Tuesday its a bunch of paperwork, meeting with the doctor etc...  I have to back up a minute though, on the Thursday i was sent home i only lasted about 2 hours and i was right back on the oxy's, percs, vikes, fentenayl patch etc... I did that all week actually until my appointment at the MMT clinic.  Today is Sunday, ive been clean for 5 days now on the methadone and i tell you, i LOVE it!!  before my children would say like "mom, next weekend can we do this or that?"  and i would always have to say "we will see" becuase i didnt know if i was going to be dope sick or whatever but NOW......oh God NOW???  now i can make plans way ahead and dont have to worry about being dopesick!!  and God willing will never have to again!!  : )   i know there is a lot of contraversy regarding methadone but im serious, this medication works GREAT!!!  it saved my life ( along with all of you people on this message board. Had i not found this site and you people, i probably wouldnt be here right now, i really really mean that too )  Ive done a lot of reading on methadone so if anyone would like any info etc... or would just like to chat about methadone, recovery.....heck anything at all, please feel free to email me, anytime!!  ive lost most of my friends due to the drugs ( some i had been friends with for over 18 years )  so i dont have many people i can talk to about this stuff.  My email is ***@****   Put something in the subject line that will let me know your from the message board so i wont delete you by accident lol.  Take care everyone and best wishes on your road to recovery!!!!!!!!!  ((((((((((HUGGS)))))))))))
Debbie

[MethMan]

What is this?  Did the state of California just pardon the damn Manson clan?

Love,
Tex

[bmac]

You seem to know me all too well Doll!
BTW there is more to come!  I hope Cindy doesn't ban my ass from here but my life has become an open book and I want everyone here to 'enjoy' it! LOL
                 Hippy Chic!

[pammy0690]

Aren't you always up?   Pammy

[MethMan]

Somebody outta slaugter THAT lamb.
Thats one nasty lamb!
(He said Sheepishly.)

[bmac]

Well I guess you all survived the weekend. I did! It was tough but somebody had to do it! Hey
'P's UP YET?

[peaz]

Ewe ain't just a kiddin'-----He's BBAAAAAAD!

[athena]

U B A NUT!
What's shaking girl?
Do You need a big hillybilly? I got one I'll share with ya! LOL
Oh I am sooooooo bad..............BUT THE OFFER STILL STANDS!