Boy, I feel like crap

[Virginia Paramedic]

I have had a prior addiction problem to everything from Vicodin to Diladid. I got off the stuff, but due to problems from gastric by-pass sx, I have uncontrolable diarreha. I now have to take Paregoric, which has Morphine in it. ( I have tried EVERY OTC and Rx out there besides Paregoric. )

I feel myself 'slipping' back into 'liking' narc's. But I have to have it so I don't have an accident on the job or at home.

Any Ideas?

[Expillman]

This is obvious, but have you discussed this with your physican?  Maybe he can refer you to a gastroenterologist for help?

[suzieneedshelp]

So glad to have you here!  I know several people with IBS and other related diseases.   E-mail me if you would liek to get their input.
***@**** (anyone is welcome to e-mail me anytime btw!)
Peace...to your seeking.
Suzie

[Thomas050]

You say you had "prior" addictions to similar meds, as in the past tense, so I take it you struggled thru the withdrawals that resulted from long term abuse of opiates. And you are not scared sh*tless of having to go thru that again? That is not enough of a deterrent?
I do not mean to sound harsh, please don't take it that way. It's a serious question.
Regards,
Thomas

[suzieneedshelp]

NOLL!  Wow..go gurl!  I am so proud of you and your accomplishments in your recovery!  And the good news is it gets better!
Susie...Plz look for the thomas recipe on here..it can help your husband tremendously.  He is sooo lucky to have your Love and support and acceptance!
"Love is all we need."
Suzie not Susie..lol

[suummerrwwinnd]

Hi.  Well I'm 1/2 way into my 6th week of not using pain pills.  I am feeling better and am proud of myself for getting off of them.  I am still having severe anxiety.  My psy. dr. had me on trileptal and neurontin in the detox unit.  I was already on neurontin at a little smaller dose before then for my pain.  I have been researching the medicines and am now concerned that I will also have trouble getting off of these.  I don't know if it is "time" to wean off or if I should wait a little longer.  I feel "fuzzy", but the anxiety HAS gotten better since last week.  Any advice would be nice.

[Susie B]

Thanks for your support. My husband is on day 19, and I haven't given into my urge to slap some life into him yet,(just kidding-I think.) I get a great deal of help from this forum-little bits of everyone elses exper. make you realize we're all part of one big slightly bizzar family. Since I have never had a problem with any addictive product it is so hard to understand, but I'll keep trying- we're in this together. My question today is- my husband seems to be relatively ok for hours at a time now, except for depression and lack of appetite. But suddenly he gets terrific chills, followed by soaking sweats and as he describes-"teeth grinding depression". This lasts for about 30 min. then passes. He's almost 3 weeks off of 2yrs of percocet. Anyone have any exper. with this?

[rodewc]

Those symptoms sound (very) normal to me. I liked your wording of this extended, LOL, slightly bizarre family.. great words 4 sure.
rwc~

[suummerrwwinnd]

I had that too.  I think its still de-tox.  Maybe anxiety, or cravings.  I'm not sure but it sure is not fun!  Everyone keeps telling me it passes, so I keep trying to tell myself that, so now I'm telling you.  I'm soooo glad your supportive of your husband.

[willowgirl]

I REALIZE IT IS RUDE TO INTERUPT A THREAD BUT I REALLY NEED TO SAY THIS.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE A DR WHO PRESCRIBES BUPRENORPHINE .  I AM ADDICTED TO VICODIN. I CANT SEE HIM YET AS HE HAS MET HIS QUOTA OF 30 PATIENTS ( LAW IN OUR STATE) SO I AM TRYING ON MY OWN.  I WAS TAKING BETWEEN 15 TO 20 A DAY AND NOW I AM DOWN TO ABOUT 8. TODAY I TOOK 6  ( SO FAR)  IT IS HARD BUT I DONT FEEL TO PHYSICALLY BAD.  I AM TAKING CLONZIPAM AND AMBIEN AND FIORNOL ( YES I KNOW I MIGHT AS WELL JUST TAKE THE VICS) BUT NON OF THEM HAVE A HIGHING EFFECT ON ME. THE CLONZIPAM HELPS THE ANXIETY, THE AMBIEN FOR SLEEP AND THE FIORINOL FOR HEADACHES.  BUT THE ONE THING I DO FEEL IS A LOSS, AS IF SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY MISSING IN MY LIFE.  OBVIOUSLY IT IS MY LITTLE FRIENDS. BUT I PRAY I CAN SEVERE THE TIES WITH THOSE DEMONS AS THEY WERE DESTROYING MY LIFE.  I AM GETTING A LOT OF EXERSIZE, DRINKING TONS OF WATER AND TRYING TO KEEP BUSY. I THINK IT IS HELPING. I JUST FEEL THAT LONELY FEELING INSIDE I WISH WOULD GO AWAY. I THINK ABOUT THE VICODIN CONSTANTLY AND I COULD MAKE A PHONE CALL AND GET A BUNCH BUT I REALLY REALLY DONT WANT TO DO THAT. THIS SITE HAS HELPED ME SOOOOO MUCH JUST READING AND REALATING AND NOT FEELING LIKE I AM THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD GOING THROUGH THIS. I KNOW ALOT OF YOU DONT BELIEVE IN TAPERING BUT I AM TRYING WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL. SO MAYBE IT WILL WORK. THEN I CAN SLOWLY GET RID OF THE OTHER PRODUCTS I AM USING AND TRY TO BE SOME WHAT NORMAL>> BUT HEY WHAT THE HELL IS NORMAL BESIDES A SETTING ON THE DRYER!  I DO MENTALLY FEEL BETTER JUST A LITTLE LONELY.  I DONT WANT TO DO NA  I TRIED IT AND I DIDNT LIKE IT AT ALL. ANY OTHER SUGGESTIONS?  THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SUPPORTIVE TO EACH OTHER IT IS VERY ENCOURAGING TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ARE JUST THERE FOR YOU SOMEWHERE.  :-)

[cetiya]

I'm sorry to butt in this thread, but I was unable to post a new message and I need to know some things.
  I have been off the durgesic patch since Monday.  I'm taking three to four 5 mg Oxycodones.  I'm ok, but I have a rash on my face and arms, My skin looks burnt, like I've been in the sun too long. Also I twitch really badly, It's like being electrolcuted.  Just for a splint second.  
So, does anyone know if it is routine during withdrawals, the rash, and I have heard of "zaps" before, is that what there are?  figures it's the weekend and I can't go to my doc to get help.

[alchemist]

About a month ago, my pain doc did a procedure on me that reduced my pain level to a tolerable level, so I stopped cold turkey from my MS contin (after 5 yrs of daily doses).  After 2 weeks of withdrawal symtoms, life is more or less back to normal.  My question is:  for the past couple of nights, I have been waking up with what feels like more withdrawal symtoms, out of the blue it hits at night and I am wide awake with restlessness.  Is this normal?  Do the withdrawal symtoms sometimes return after a few weeks?  For what its worth, I feel like I woke up from a 5 yr coma, life feels so wonderful, I can feel joy again.  The ms contin slowly replaced everything in my life that brought me joy without me even realizing it.

[gracie97]

Pillman-You are doing so good! Isn't it great? I too am a bird feeder/watcher, and yes I do understand how those guys become depend on us and do not understand why we "turned our backs on them"... I think you are doing great! You sound so much stronger with each post, isn't it amazing to see the "haze" we have been in and see it lifting?
Gosh, today things were so much brighter, but I still get that fuzzy/stupid feeling-like what am I thinking????( 5+ weeks-not counting though- :>)) I was really starting to get "mad" at myself for being so stupid at work, BUT-that was NOT me, I am now becoming me AGAIN.  ( I am in a position that allows me to "uncover my own mistakes from months before while a "pill head" before anyone else does-not such a good thing). In one way it scares me, how did I get my 2 promotions, how did I get where I am being so "stupid', BUT on the other hand- WHERE CAN I GO NOW- NOW that the fog is gone?

Sorry to butt in but the other thread is full!

Mystere, hope you are OK! Love ya girl!

Peazy, luv ya too!

[Sturgil]

Well I do not want to discourage you in any way with waht I am about to say. WD's last for weeks and weeks. The worst is gone in about 7 to 10 days. However the chills and leg cramps last for some time. After the WD's come the mental no mans land. The DT's are a breeze compared to this depression. At least for me. Sleep did not return to normal for almost 45 days. The menal lasted for 90 or so days. I would suggest getting off of the Benzo's and stick with non-controled drugs. Anything that alters your head will trigger your addiction.

HOWEVER- Never fear. It gets better. I was on 20 10/500 daily with 15 Soma 350mg for years and years. I went to meetings everyday as well as IOP everynight. Monday will be 6 months. Life is getting better everyday. But only if I work my program, call my sponsor and pray. I realized that after I started working the steps I saw just how much of a miracle the 12 step programs truly are. I fought the program for a long time and I experienced relapse after relapse. Remember the pain of WD are temporary. Drugs are but 10% of the problem We are the 90%.

Thomas has a great receipe for getting your edge back. It is listed all over the forum. What I have written is what worked for me, which was passed on to me by another addict that has some time under his belt. I took anything to get high and keep the WD's from coming on strong, now I will do anything to stay clean.

Everyday you will start to feel a little bit better, it is slow to come but well worth the effort.

God's Speed.

Sturgil Flockin

[theGolden1]

Hi there! I do believe in tapering. You are doing so good ... vicodin is easy to taper off of. Isn't it strange what a person can do when they really. really want to? I am tapering off tramadol and using what I need to get through it. I wanted to tell you .... about feeling lonely or unloved or any of those emotions. That is part of the depression from the drug. (or lack of it) It will pass ... as you were saying that the physical symptoms were not that bad on 6 pills a day ... our minds play tricks and thinking about vikes all the time and feeling blue is called "craving" .... it disappears like a cloud. just blows by when WD are over with. You are doing it the right way ... keeping busy. And hey .... you are not alone. I am here .... email me at ***@****. and keep posting here ....

[theGolden1]

Dear Friend .... it sounds like some kind of an allergic reaction to me. I have never heard of the "zaps" ... but then again, I don't know everything. (smile) When can you see your doctor? Perhaps you can call a poison control center for advice or just a nearby emergency room. Just a thought, but maybe some of that "patch" was still in your system when you added the oxy.
Drink some extra water and slow down on the oxycodone ... in fact I wouldn't take it again until you talk to a professional. Normally benadryll is used for allergic re-actions, but in this case, I'd probably go to the ER and have someone look at the rash and advise you .... keep posting and let us know how you are doing .... all my best, Goldie

[hippy]

after i was a moth or so clean, i started
waking up at 4 in the morning, turns out i have allergies
, since i got clean in the spring time it mas worse,
after taking the vikes for a few years it masked the alergies
.this ws all knew tome as i had never had them before i
started on the vikes,the doctor told me is common to get then in your late thrities.

peace!!!!!hippy

[bryan25503]

what kind of procedure did your doctor do to reduce your pain. I have alot of back pain and if they can do a procedure to ease my pain down some I would love to quit taking Fiorinal #3. So let me know or send me an email to ***@****

[mrmichael67]

A standard, oral dose of morphine is 30mg.  A standard, iv dose is 10mg.  Sorry, but 8mg or oral morphine is laughable, at best.  Of course, some can get by with 15mg of oral morphine, but most can't.

[mrmichael67]

Of course, those doses are for pain control, not diarhea.  I would feel sorry for the poor soul that gets 8mg of oral morphine for pain, especially after his/her liver gets a hold of it.  There would be almost nothing left.

[Expillman]

Yes, this message forum is not ideal the way it is controlled.  Maybe there should be a GENERAL, open-ended area for continuous communication?  Regardless and Ironically, the title of this area is very appropriate.  I am in HOUR 115 of OXYCONTIN FREEDOM.  I felt almost good yesterday morning and naturally I was suspicious.  I am a widower and made a date with a lady friend for dinner.  She, of course, does not know about my recent week of hell here in drug withdrawal. I just told her that I wasn't feeling well, I've had bouts with IBS, so there was no suspicion.  It is not something that I am proud of, to say the least.  Anyway, I barely made it through the meal and begged off and crashed in my bed, choking down the nausea.  It was the first real meal that I've had since Monday.

I am fairly concerned about what I am reading about post withdrawal depression.  What complicates my situation is that I recently lost my wife, but was astute enough to NOT try to quit immediately after that happened.  I am determined to be completely chemical free, I will not consider taking Paxil or anything else that would be difficult to stop taking.  Like I stated earlier, this WITHDRAWAL has left a signature on my brain that will never be forgotten and NEVER repeated.  

I am fortunate in that I am retired and financially comfortable at 55, so I don't have what would be an AWFUL burden of dealing with a job!  I do have projects lined up as soon as I feel able, but I guess my big question is:  How long will it take to get back to feeling like doing anything?  I was on OXYCONTIN for 3 years and the dose climbed to 240-300.  I quit cold turkey Monday after numerous attempts to taper down.  It just could not be done in my case.  I made up my mind to quit, DUMPED about $600 worth of OXYCONTIN down the toilet and here I am, 115 hours later.

Right now I feel O.K.  As the day wears on, it seems to get worse, has anyone else had this experience?

[MethMan]

I think that you're having an allergic reaction too.
And if you are allergic to something in the oxy, then I'd call a doc before taking any more.  Sometimes an allergic reaction can get pretty serious, pretty quick.

[Expillman]

Boy, I've come a ways since Thursday, my first re-entry into the REAL outside world since going CT Monday.  I'm recognizing and taking advantage of my circadian cycles by getting stuff done when I am at my best.  Thursday I must have looked like a derelict, but today it was hair combed, teeth brushed, clean shaven, shirt tail tucked into clean shorts with belt and off to the grocery store.  Things are different, that is for sure, but I had no trouble talking to the grocery manager or striking up a conversation with a Black kid loading cases of Cokes.  I'm starting to feel like my old self again.  I am skeptical, because I remember what happened yesterday when I tried to do too much, I think.  

I am in hour 118 of OXYCONTIN FREEDOM.  Never Again will I experience the horrible and frightening sensations that I experienced this week.  As I stated earlier, I was ready to die if necessary, I had my affairs in order and all my pertinent information written neatly in a journal on my desk.  I just hope that the very worst is over.

[cetiya]

I saw the docs yesterday and no one seemed very impressed, except it's affecting my legs and they are very swollen, I'm still dizzy as hell.  Noone seemed to think it was an allergic reaction.  I'm also quiet forgetful, I mean severely!  
I saw someone mentioned these w/ds last a month  groan.

[Forum-M.D.-rcb]

Mr. Michael:

I was perusing the comments looking for the response from Virginia Paramedic with problems of diarrhea and gastric bypass. She needs help and she didn't respond.

In that process I noticed your comment about the usual dosage of morphine. You are correct because I was thinking about the parenteral doses when giving the numbers 8 mgm and 16 mgm.I know that having ordered morphine thousands of times over a half century of practice.  We all goof don't we if we're human. In this case I failed to make the switch.

It doesn't change the cumulative numbers of 200-300 mgm. in my mind,  and this lady affirms that because she's getting that "old feeling" with the Paregoric which has only the equivalent of 2 mgm of morphine, the main actor in Paregoric,  per teaspoonful. We don't know how much she's taking do we, or what else is going on?

You are an invaluable source of information but it would be wise to qualify remarks always because we never know the full details in every case.