Can recovery from addiction become an addiction?

[Vicqueennomore]

Can recovery from addiction become an addiction? I feel as though I am consuming myself with trying to recover?

[RobynBanks]

excellent question. ...my body&mind  are constantly in a state of withdrawl....its like its normal for me.

[Vicqueennomore]

Nice to see I am not alone on that one...it's been 15 days since my last pill and I can think of nothing else but when and how am I going to be nornal again....

[The Golden Slipper]

You are definitely not alone.  I am a barbituate addict and have been clean since just before Thanksgiving.

I have no idea what feeling normal is supposed to feel like.  I am constantly feeling crazy like I'm going to lose my mind at any moment.

I do have some brief moments of peace where I can honestly see how crazy my pill seeking behaviour was and how much better I feel now.  Unfortunately the feeling doesn't last that long though and I start feeling nuts again.

Maybe it's just part of the process. I can certainly relate though I am constantly obsessing about how I feel.

Golden Slipper

[Vicqueennomore]

Is it because we had the simple task of just taking a pill, or snort or whatever our drug of choice was, to feel "better" and now we feel we have nothing or so we think. Right now this forum is helping me but I am afraid of actually becoming "addicted to my recovery" from it...make sense anyone??

[percsnomas]

Being slightly further along in clean time(5 months this past Sunday), I can tell you that "stuff" is all normal...to wonder if you will ever really be normal again(and obsess about virtually everything to do with recovering).

This shall also pass, please trust me on that one.
More separation from your last pill will provide the means; then the next thing you will know is, you actually will be living your life again(ie. moved on).

Stay strong people, and try not to think TOO MUCH.

Percs

[Vicqueennomore]

Thanks Percs for the insight, any idea how long that took? I am trying not to think to much but I have some idle time on my hands because I just got laid off. It may or may not have been because of the 4 days I took off because of the "flu" (w/d). Not a real stable work force out there right now and I was fairly new. In any case I can collect UE but time and not necessarily money is my enemy right now. Too much of one and not enough of another, I guess. I am trying to stay busy by catching up on housework that didn't get done in the last 2 weeks but it is a struggle. I use to take a few pills and have the energy to clean my house and my neighbors :-). I just want to know when I will have at least half of that energy and motivation.

[J. E. W.]

I know the feeling... Ive been putting alot of my time into this forum. It has helped soooooooooooooooooo much on my recovery. I know I have along way to go,but with all this support it helps tremendously!!!!!!! But I too think Im addited to this forum... I dont think this is a bad addiction though!!!! Its a God send for me...  Day 11 today and besides for a few ups and downs, sneezing,[whats that about?],bodyaches here and there,I think over all I doing good!!! Prayer has helped me get through the down time alot.. And knowing your all here is sooooooooooooooo wonderfull.. So Everyone smile a great big smile and think about how wonderful life is and its getting better everyday of our journies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ill be praying for you all... If I could I would reach out and give everyone of you a GREAT BIG HUG AND KISS from the bottem of my heart for all the help youve been and will be in my journey.. Iknow that God has his hands on us all.. So rejoice.... Were going to make it..        God Bless you all my friends..And give your worries over to God he will take themm in time..                J.E,W.

[percsnomas]

I get asked that alot.  My last pill was Aug.19/02, and I still remember cutting the grass about a week after that; continually looking down at my legs.....cause I was certain they were made out of concrete!!! urgghh
I forced myself to the gym, no matter how lethargic I felt; so to answer the timing question, Id have to say things really improved after 3 weeks.  It took me a couple months before I didn't THINK how much energy I needed to play with the kids, work around the house ,etc. That kind of happened without me even realizing it.....

I'm sure the loss of employment doesn't help your situation, but as you've pointed out, keeping yourself busy is critical. Hey, you didn't lose only a job, you lost an all-consuming pill habit at the same time(great trade off in my books).

Thomas and many others have pointed out how important exercise(in whatever form) is, I couldn't agree more!!!

Keep fighting, IT WILL GET BETTER!!!

[Vicqueennomore]

Thank you Percs again for the wonderful insight....
Yup, good trade off considering my new boss was adding majorly to my continuing the pills. Very much a jerk.....
JEW, I hear ya on the sneezing and how about that yawning all the time (gotten a little better since the first week) but my nose has been stuffed up for 2 weeks and I am afraid to take anything for it for fear of addiction and the "jitters" that sinus meds do.
I do have to say that I do have a slight, ever so slight, desire now to not to sweat the small stuff, hard to explain but before I was a little anal retentive about keeping the house clean and making sure everyone is happy. I have a little relief in that I am caring about myself right now and actually I feel a little guilty about it. I am afraid my live-in won't want the new me that is not "here to please".

[FINISHED!!]

Three words...EX-ER-CISE!!! I can't stress that enough. It's hard I know. I have always been atheletic so it may have been easier for me than others but with every time you exercise, the more "in shape" you become. Exercise is proven to increase energy & the feel good chemicals in your brain. If you can FORCE yourself to do a little exercise one day, then a little more the next etc, the day will come when you feel GREAT. Energized. Healthy. You must force this upon yourself. This is what got me through my detox without the effects of the oh-so-common depression that generally follows detox. Take your vitamins, drink your water till you're gonna burst & exercise both brain & body. Geeze, I sound like Hulk Hogan but it works...I swear by it.

FINISHED!!

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

You pose a wonderful question!  I am 36 days out of hydro-hell and i almost feel like I forgot how to live my life (without-pills). It is almost like OK NOW WHAT? Sometimes I feel so lost!
the posts today have really helped me to stand back and just take it one day at a time--all of you on this forum seem to come through at just the right time--Queen--you are not alone-prayers and peace--much thanks n.o.lady

[Vicqueennomore]

Finished!! I have been hearing that quite often now and I have a few exercise tapes from who knows when because I am not a big fan of exercise. It is 10 degrees below zero out so I can't just go run or walk for that matter but maybe an aerobics tape is a good start,huh? I am about 25lbs over my ideal weight so it couldn't hurt, right???
N.O. Lady - wow 36 days!! That's great....I can't wait until I get there. I hear ya though. Go on with life, pleasing others was my life now what? At this point I am, ok all cards on the table...I am living with my boyfriend that has 3 boys, 11-8-5. I help him take care of them. They are like my own, most of the time, you see I do have 2 of my own that live with their father, he had more money at time of divorce than I did, honestly, didn't lose them due to any kind of unfitness or anything like that. I see them every other weekend. I live right now to help take care of my boyfriends kids and to see mine every 2 weeks. What am I moving on to???

[teeitup]

Hey bud email me when you can, I can't remember If I sent you my pager # or not, I'd like to talk to you if you don't mind. Anyone else who would like to email me feel free. Thanks for everyone!

***@****

teeitup!

[suzieneedshelp]

Wut an excellent question!  
Yes we have addictive personalities and so anything can become an obsession with us.  But...this is wut the success of the 12 step program is all about i think.  To direct those compulsive/ obsessive tendancies into something positive like helping others get/ stay clean!  Wut a meaningful way to be consumed with life.. helping others!  
This board is the same.  Some non-addicts (sig others, etc) think well once u get off drugs./ alcohol u need to get away from all this stuff.. but that is quite the opposite as AA has proven!  Staying in touch with those who  are seeking help reminds us of the horror we went thru, the grip it has on others'/ had on our lives and it helps to keep us drug/ alcohol free!
Peace,
Suzie

[Thomas03]

As people with addictive personalities, we might not be able to choose whether to be addicted or not. But we have some power over what we are addicted to. For example, to get my ass out of my chair and out exercising, I play a little game with my addict mind. When it is time to suit up for exercise, I focus on how good I'm going to feel after I exercise, shower and put on fresh clothes. I visualize myself relaxed, clean, kicking back with a sandwich, just feeling good. I try to make THAT my addiction. You only have to do 20 minutes of mild aerobic exercise to experience a sense of well being. Become addicted to the post exercise high and your addict self will do all the work! Feel lucky you can exercise. Many chronic pain patients don't have that option.

Thomas

[J. E. W.]

How you doig hon? Havent heard from you today.. Just wanted to check up on you.. Im praying for you..                                  God Bless...   J.E.W.

[suzieneedshelp]

EVeryone plz say extra prayer for him.. he is having bad cravings and his mind is trying to convince him he is not ready to be drug free!  He is listening to his diseased mind but has NOT acted on it yet!  Good man!  He has wut it takes to beat  his tricky receptors!
Peace!
Suzie
ANTHONY HOPE U DONT MIND THIS POST!  Please forgive m if you do!  SUZIE HUGS YA!

[FINISHED!!]

Anything is better than nothing. 10 degrees below? That's pretty cold!!! Maybe have somebody drop you off a couple of blocks from home in your bathing suit. Bet you'd run pretty fast. Just kidding. Look, even if you just do a little something that gets that heart of your's pumping, it'll do good. When I say exercise, I don't mean run 100 miles or do 10,000 jumping jacks. I myself am not a big fan of conventional exercise. I like to make my exercise fun by body surfing, riding my mountain bike like a maniac etc. Video tapes of an exercise regiment is what my fiance does everyday & she loves it. I think the more "in shape" you become, the funner the exercise itself becomes. Give it a shot. I hope it works out for you & I'll be praying for all of those here in their speedy recovery in all stages of detox.

FINISHED!!

[Bungee7]

No I don't mind. I need help. I want the drugs so bad, I know one phone call to a pharmacy and I'll have some. But I havent done it yet. Yet being the key word---I don't know how long I can fight this demon inside me! HELP!!!

-Anthony

[Vicqueennomore]

I actually just started today to every hour do 40 jumping jacks. I guess it's not running home in my bathing suit or a 20 min reg exer program yet but I am guessing its better than nothing right or it's a start. Thanks so much everyone for all the good advice and support. I am better than I was a week ago and in a week I know I will be better than I am now and I do owe it to you good folks!! All of you on this forum are great!!

[suzieneedshelp]

I know u DO NOT want the consequences of doing that on the rest of yur life right??????
Talk about horror and fear and despair!
Remember my horror story and i was DAYUM lucky in the end!
Peace and conviction to your gentle strong soul!
Suzie

[Blackbelt]

I went through hundreds of sneezes during one withdrawing period.Some will call it foolish but could it be you are expelling demons during such episodes. The narcotic demons you are refusing to feed could be looking for a better "host." Command them to stay out in the name of Jesus.
  The bible says that if you decide to feed that addiction again that the hungry little devils will bring some friends. Maybe that's why we build up such a tolerence---Too many mouths to feed.
      God bless,
         B'Belt

[FrankVaio]

I read this forum everyday and today this was the the problem I was faceing today.
Almost all my questions were answered..........CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!

I would have been 21 day's clean today BUT this weekend I went to the darkside. So I'm at day 2 again...It's a never ending battle it seems.

[J. E. W.]

B`Belt,You could be right and Ill try it.. Thanks for your advice. Your not crazy you speek the words of truth. Theyre in the Bible,even though most dont want to hear them...I know it works from my own eyes seeing this be done......  God Bless....      Frank, Its o.k. if youfeel down just pick yourself up and start again were only human and will fall many times im our journies in life.. If not from drugs then from one thing or another.. So get up and start again. Ill be praying for you my friend... DO NOT beat yourself up.. Just get up and do the best you can to stay up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And keep reading these posts. These friends know the right way to go!!!!!!!!!!           God Bless....                                      J.E.W.