Aa
Day 2 without Hydro
Had surgery 5 weeks ago and been on hydro. approx 14 5-500 mg. per day. I stepped down the last ten days to 2-4 5-500 mg. per day. I was irritated yesterday and had definite withdrawal symptoms. The problem is I know I can get more and don't want to do so because I have to get off them sometime, right. I am recovering from ovarian cancer and still have pain. I can't discern if it warrants meds or is withdrawal. How much worse can I expect the symptoms this next 24hrs. is the worst behind me? and I stepped myself down after reading this site. My doc. did not discuss this process and I wish he had. I was not able to go as slowly as has been recommended here. If anyone would like to share you can email me at ***@****. thanks.
Bgirl..or anyone, if you would like to chat online email me at ***@**** and I will give you my icq# or AOL IM nick. Just reading these responses helps me quite a bit.
Ooooooh, I know the feeling, girl. I've thought of checking into detox myself, only to remember that it never worked the first time around and I was using again within two weeks of getting out. It certainly made coming off this **** much easier, but as you imply, almost too easy. As in Skinnerian conditioning, the body responds to stimuli, and the stimuli of the extreme pain and suffering of withdrawal will stay with you and might just frighten you enough to make you not get back on the junk. Just the thought of that misrable hospital gives me the shivers--a low point in my life, missing my daughter's first birthday because I was in a mental ward. And having her visit me with her mother in that cold, spartan cell of a room...with no idea as to why daddy was such a mess and had to live in this horrible place. Good god.
As I wrote before, the only thing that finally made me stop were cold-turkey seizures that came this close to killing me. After that, it was like someone had waved a magic wand and I simply didn't need anymore. Same thing with smoking (a hangover from hell did the trick), cocaine (severe hallucinations and ideations of suicide scared me straight), and with pot, well, I just woke up one mornng and was bored of it. So we all solve these things differently. Personally, I feel one can only truly quit from a having a sincere desire within one's self to do so, coupled with a traumatic "rock bottom" ordeal." The AA/group thing, for me, only prolongs the inevitable by reinforcing the belief that we are helpless, which I feel that we are most definitely not. I know AA/NA works for some, and my hat's off to them, but it doesn't help me at all. Quitting is ultimately a very personal, lonely, and spiritual journey in the sense that you must face the worst part of yourself and reconcile it with the good part. Having a forum like this is a godsend, because there are no 12-steps, no rules, no one twisting your arm to admit that you're a helplessness sack of **** and only God can sace you, or pointing their fingers and shouting "denial." (Though you do have the occasional Jesus Freak who writes in all caps and promises eternal damnation if you don't take the highway to heaven). To hell with all that. Sorry to offend any true believers, it's just my two cents, and like I said, if 12 stepping works for you then keep marching. For the rest of us who are strong enough to know that there really is more than just one way out of the darkness, do what works for you. Everyone here has been honest enough to sit down and write down their miserable little problems and ask for some help or at least a sympathetic ear. That is the human spirit in action, and I for one believe that it is more powerful than the little pill in the bottle that is singing my favorite song. They irony of your name, Baddgirl, does not escape me, for you are good enough to come here and tell your tale in hopes of somehow finding the strength and the insight to get out of your mess. In that way you are like all of us. I have no idea who all of you are, but I consider you all to be fine human beings and my friends. Perhaps a live group chat would be in order sometime. Maybe that's somethng we can work towards. In the meantime, anyone can write me at ***@**** if they want to talk one-on-one. I'll have to dust off the icq or IM if anyone wants to chat, but I would be up for that, too if it would help you--and if I can find the time.
Bottom line: I managed to be happily sober for three years without group meetings, shrinks, or medication. If I can do it, anyone can.
Whatever path you choose, I wish all of you, as always, the best of luck. There is hope...and you are not alone.
Peace.
As I wrote before, the only thing that finally made me stop were cold-turkey seizures that came this close to killing me. After that, it was like someone had waved a magic wand and I simply didn't need anymore. Same thing with smoking (a hangover from hell did the trick), cocaine (severe hallucinations and ideations of suicide scared me straight), and with pot, well, I just woke up one mornng and was bored of it. So we all solve these things differently. Personally, I feel one can only truly quit from a having a sincere desire within one's self to do so, coupled with a traumatic "rock bottom" ordeal." The AA/group thing, for me, only prolongs the inevitable by reinforcing the belief that we are helpless, which I feel that we are most definitely not. I know AA/NA works for some, and my hat's off to them, but it doesn't help me at all. Quitting is ultimately a very personal, lonely, and spiritual journey in the sense that you must face the worst part of yourself and reconcile it with the good part. Having a forum like this is a godsend, because there are no 12-steps, no rules, no one twisting your arm to admit that you're a helplessness sack of **** and only God can sace you, or pointing their fingers and shouting "denial." (Though you do have the occasional Jesus Freak who writes in all caps and promises eternal damnation if you don't take the highway to heaven). To hell with all that. Sorry to offend any true believers, it's just my two cents, and like I said, if 12 stepping works for you then keep marching. For the rest of us who are strong enough to know that there really is more than just one way out of the darkness, do what works for you. Everyone here has been honest enough to sit down and write down their miserable little problems and ask for some help or at least a sympathetic ear. That is the human spirit in action, and I for one believe that it is more powerful than the little pill in the bottle that is singing my favorite song. They irony of your name, Baddgirl, does not escape me, for you are good enough to come here and tell your tale in hopes of somehow finding the strength and the insight to get out of your mess. In that way you are like all of us. I have no idea who all of you are, but I consider you all to be fine human beings and my friends. Perhaps a live group chat would be in order sometime. Maybe that's somethng we can work towards. In the meantime, anyone can write me at ***@**** if they want to talk one-on-one. I'll have to dust off the icq or IM if anyone wants to chat, but I would be up for that, too if it would help you--and if I can find the time.
Bottom line: I managed to be happily sober for three years without group meetings, shrinks, or medication. If I can do it, anyone can.
Whatever path you choose, I wish all of you, as always, the best of luck. There is hope...and you are not alone.
Peace.
Is ther a diffence in the 2? Opiod and Opiate? And the 2nd question is do they appear differently in a drug test?
Yes, there is a difference. According to Taber's Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary, an opiate is any drug containing or derived from opium. An opioid is non-opium derived synthetic narcotics.
By definition, both appear to be narcotics, just with different origins.
Hope this helps.
By definition, both appear to be narcotics, just with different origins.
Hope this helps.
Well, I was clean 18 years until a series of 5 root cnals in one year led me to reacquire my "taste" for opiates.
I'm going to quit this weekend with the aid of Buprenex, a "partial" opiate that will relieve many of the withdrawal symptoms of early detox.
But the I'll have to face what every recovering addict faces: after the phsyica;l withdrawal symptoms subside (3-5 days), I'll still face days if not even a few weeks or more of debilitating lethargy and depression. That'll be a tough mountain to climb perhaps, but when I'm past it I will have regained my life and my freedom.
Definitely worth it, I'd say.
I also wanted to speak to some of your questions about withdrawal. Seizures are almost unheard of in opiate withdrawal (and I'm not talking about those convulsive leg-kicking tremors, but real seizures). Opiate withdrawal may make you feel like you're dying, but I'm not sure if there are any recorded cases of death from opiate withdrawal in and of itself.
So don't worry about dying from it. Especially those of you with habits of les than 6-9 months in duration, the withdrawal symptoms may be less serious than you imagine.
Valium will help. Clonidine. And of course Buprenex if you can get it. But bottom line, it's bad but not nearly as bad as the "panic of withdrawal" makes us think it is.
So stay with it. Get clean. Get your life back. And yes, it'll be a struggle, but not as big a struggle (physically, at least)as you might think. If it wasn't for the "withdrawal panic," you might just think you had a really bad flu for a few days.
Whatever. One thing is without doubt: the struggle is worth it!
No more lying and hiding and shame and self-loathing and wishing we were normal and wishoing we could turn back the clock and never have taken the first fix or pill. No more of that.
Just freedom again. Pride. Health and energy. And the knowledge that we have gotten our lives back at last.
The former poster made the mistake that so many people unfamiliar with 12 step programs make and that is eqauting powerlessness with helplessness or weakness which is not the case at all. I submit my "strenght" is greater than his/hers because mine comes from my Higher Power whom I choose to call God. I urge all of you recovering to attend a 12 step meeting and decide for yourself. It does not require a belief in God as has also mistakenly been posted here.
It is possible to stay clean through sheer willpower fighting cravings and longing for that really great high. And then there's sobriety that has quality of life and true recovery. And for the great majority of addicts, that comes through working the 12 steps. It's a fact.
And I'm not offended. Most addicts have great difficulty with the concept of powerlessness. The interesting thing is when you tell a person who is not an addict they usually understand it right away. It's only we addicts who fight it.
It is possible to stay clean through sheer willpower fighting cravings and longing for that really great high. And then there's sobriety that has quality of life and true recovery. And for the great majority of addicts, that comes through working the 12 steps. It's a fact.
And I'm not offended. Most addicts have great difficulty with the concept of powerlessness. The interesting thing is when you tell a person who is not an addict they usually understand it right away. It's only we addicts who fight it.
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