Day 4 - I feel pretty good, how are you?

[CinCee]

This must be my lucky day, I get to start a question!

Good morning, my fellow withdrawers.  (Anybody got a better name than "withdrawers"?)  How's everyone?

[dreamin]

Good Morning,

I don't usually see too many people posting this early in  the morning. You must be on the east coast.  I am on week 2 and feeling ok physically, I have had a bad run of the flu but am feeling better today.  

so..that's how I am...

we could call ourselves absolute geniuses, because we are smart enough to be here!!

sheila

[GOD]

Album: Marshall Mathers LP Song: Drug Ballad

[Girl] Yeaaah, hahahaha...whooooo, ****!
[Em](aight)
[Eminem] Guess what? I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
[Eminem] Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this

[Eminem]
Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark (you ******* ******)
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guiness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap *******
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up
[Em's spaceman voice]Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Look at the life on this planet, sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Chorus

[Eminem]
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got ahold of me

'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucka all I gotta say
These drugs really got ahold of me

[Eminem]
In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
17 years later I'm as Rude as Jude
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as **** spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the **** we do?"
I gotta go *****
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But **** it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls
****'s sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
****, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more

Chorus

[Eminem]
That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the **** is going to mean **** where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like **** every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more **** that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysiting for Haley while Haley's out getting smashed

Chorus 2x (Same as previous, but 2nd time
the last line is repeated like this)

Drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
'Cause drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me


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[GOD]

THat post above:

Offensive, but SO TRUE.

by the way I don't like rap, but I love those lyrics....

I was doing a seach on addiction, and it was one of the things that just "Popped up"

Later

[LAURA34]

NOT DOING SO GOOD TODAY, I WENT TO MY PC AND SHE CANT HELP, NOW I AM TRYING MY PAIN MANGE MENT DR. TOADY @ 1:00  ACTUALLY SHE DIDNT HAVE A CLUE, IT'S CRAZY, THEY DONT HAVE A PROBLEM PRESCRIBING THIS MEDICINE, BUT WHEN YOU NEED HELP, THEY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. IT'S AMAZING. I DID BUY THE INGREDIENTS FOR "THE RECIPE" THAT IS HELPING SOMEWHAT WOKE UP @ 5 AM BEEN UP SINCE. . I THINK I HAVE CRIED MORE THE PAST TWO DAYS THAN EVER. SO EMOTIONAL.

I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR RESPONDING TO MY POSTS, IT HAS DEFINATELY BEEN THE GRACE OF GOD I STUMBLED ACROSS THIS FORUM.
I CAN'T BELEIVE THERE ARE SO MANY DECENT KIND AND CARING PEOPLE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD WE LIVE IN.

THANKS FOR LISTENING!

[tashia]

I was wondering I am on day 10 when does the body stop hurting
nothing works still a little cramping and sooo wanting a lortab
to many mind games now.thanx

[CinCee]

The last thing I remember about you was your ER visit, and getting new scripts.  Are you in w/d now?

I'm not surprised your pcp couldn't/wouldn't help.  I have heard that many times.  If they don't have special training in addiction I think their afraid of some kind of liability.  Maybe pain doc will be better.  I've had mixed experience with them.

I know someone who came off a huge dose addiction at an outpatient detox center that gave her buprenex.  She said it makes you very high but they only give it for a few days and then when you stop it's almost no w/d.  You might want to ask the pain doc about it.

[GOD]

I was looking at a lot of the past posts, and GWH was taking a lot of the same **** I was.... LOTS of OXY. TOO much.

Anyway, can you please post back?
I wan't to know how you get Methodone to detox, but I don't want to go to a damned clinic and get treated like a "Junkie"...

Where can I buy some? How expensive is it, and does it feel really good to be on? I heard it lasts real long in your blood so that you only have to take it 2 time per day.

Anyway... ThX for you're help.

Frank

[LAURA34]

Yes, I got the script from the ER Dr. I am down to one pill. I have the appt today, I hope he can help me. After taking so many for so long, it's going to be a hard LONG road. I called a few hospitals, clinics, i was even considering methadone, but after reading some posts, thats not what i want. My w/ds right now, are limited since i got the  20 pills on Sunday.  But i am trying to stretch them out. as far as w/d's i have headaches!! It's funny I have been on the phone since monday, talking to various counselors centers etc... it all about the damn insurance. We'll see what happens this afternoon. thanks for asking..

[CinCee]

I know somewhat who got methadone maintenance (in pills) for pain from a pain doctor.  Sometimes got high, sometimes not.  Had to have someone hold them for her.

HOWEVER, when she decided to Detox from it, it was truly an f-in NIGHTMARE.  You HAVE to detox from methadone under medical supervision.

[athena]

Im sorry you are having such a bad day.Just having someone to vent to without fear of being judged is a big help.I too am having a bad day but ct was the way to go.When this is over,I will be so relieved.Im not depressed in the least today,day 5 and thats how I know im going to make it.I just needed to want sobriety more than i wanted that energy from pills.Guess i have to get a life now.Hang in there,this too shall pass.

pixi

[CinCee]

If you're still there, please stop and ask yourself if you want to start all over again?

[bmac]

Now here is something I know about.This has been my drug of choice for over a year.I used it for pain from my pain management doctor.I took 4 to 6 pills a day.40 to 60 mgs a day.
It does get you high although.I took this after years of hydro's and oxy's.Even was put on morphine at one time but I don't remember much about that.Methadone is a good way to detox if you do it within 2 months.If you take it for more than that you will just be abusing it and it will cause very bad withdrawals.I had
really bad w/d's from it.I stopped too soon.I tapered to 10 mgs
a day which I should have tapered on to 2.5 mgs,which at this point it has no effect on the body.When I found this site in the last days of August I was a mess.Just had got back home from the ER.Physically It hurt,mentally I was a mess also.It took at least
20 days before I felt alittle human.I am at 42 days now and I feel a whole lot better,but I still have effects from methadone.
My doctor said with such long term use it could take months to get myself well from it.So the moral to this story is this,use methadone to detox from hydro's oxy's slowly.Taper alittle at a time.My Pain doc said it should take 60 days to taper from 40 mgs aday down to 2.5 mgs day.Decreasing each week.Also it is true that if you take other opiates You will be wasting them.
I took 18 norco's in 3 days while on methadaone and never felt a one.Wasted the hydro.Take methadone only under the care of a
doctor not the a street dealer.He won't care that you get addicted and believe me methadone is very very addictive.
Use it to get clean,not high.Or you will regret it.
                               bmac

[LAURA34]

Yes the venting helps, Congratulations on your sobriety, wow day 5 I didnt make it past day 3, i was in the ER. getting more, i am so dissappointed in myself. but the w/d's i was coming out of my skin. so now what start all over. I guess i have to, maybe with some help. are you taking the Vitamins? they do help. Good luck.

[CinCee]

My addiction has been to hydro and at one time oxy and one time perocet.  This time it was just hydro and not too high a dose (40mgs/day) and not too long.  But this has been my hardest withdrawal.
I always relapse because of severe nerve and/or joint pain.  But after the first few days of pain relief I'm off and running.  And running...

There's more stuff about me in today's other thread.

I was too out of it too go get the "recipe" on my first or second days but I started some of it yesterday and I think it helped.  Are you doing it?  Hot showers helped, too.  Today I feel almost human.

Could you call in sick tonight?  After all, you ARE sick.

Don't you just deplore the idea of starting over?  Yesterday morning I felt bad enough to relapse but it's already so much better.

[athena]

I am taking vitamins.Calcium/magnesium B6 and accidentally got lysine instead of tyrosine.I do think they're helping.To tell you the truth,this is my worst day yet but I think it's because of no sleep.I really want to quit bad this time.

pixi

[bmac]

How are you?Let us know when you get the chance.I know the pain hurts,I am there also.I also have nerve damage in the low back and those shooting pains in the legs and butt.Siatic nerve pain is the pits.So far I have been able to control it without drugs the past month but I haven't had to do any physical labor either.Hang on brother,You are a winner in my book.
                       peace to you Chezz,
                             Bill(bmac)

[Chezz]

I am scared. I am lonely. I am tired. I am an addict.

For as long as I can remember I have been hiding behind some sort of

[Chezz]

I am scared. I am lonely. I am tired. I am an addict.

For as long as I can remember I have been hiding behind some sort of

[Chezz]

Sorry that posted twice.

I am here, and hanging in there. I am on the W.coast, and I also didn't get up until 9am today. So the time difference is a bumber.

Allisa - YOU can do it. All you have to do is take it ONE MINUTE, ONE HOUR, ONE DAY AT A TIME. I know how that sounds, but it is true. I didn't think I would make it on day 3. I know how hard it is. I didn't make it my 1st time. It was easier to just give up.
YOU can do this. You just have to make a goal for each day. You have to just make it to the next day, and then the next.

I know how hard this is for you right now. Think about the FUTURE and stay strong. You already know where this path is leading. YOU have to BELIEVE in YOURSELF.

All it takes is you promising yourself that you won't use today. Then carry that on to the next.

Once you get over the HUMP of day 3 and 4, you will be FREE. Those are the hardest days.

Even if you just make a promise not to use in the next hour, and then the next, and the next. The days will pass and you will feel so good.

Allisa you have to BELIEVE in YOURSELF, because you are worth it.
You really have a great chance to be clean. There is never a good time. But it can always get worse. The more/longer you use, the harder it will be.

Take it a minute at a time, you can do it Allisa,
Chezz

[bmac]

Amen to that.Being clean is far much better than chasing that empty high we all are guilty of looking for.You are healing as we speak.I wish I had your strong will and you have made this forum a much more informed place to come,
               Thanks Chezz,
                    Bmac

[Chezz]

I know this is hard for everyone. Withdrawling sucks.

You can make it easier and better though. You have to exercise, walk, eat ect.

The sooner you get out, the sooner you will FEEL better. I know how hard that is. I am going through it too.

We have spent so much time trying to get these pills, we don't know how to live without them.

You have to fill that time that using took up and do something positive with it. If you fill that "time" with dwelling on not using, it is going to be so much harder.

It's day 5. And I am done. I am moving on. I don't feel 100% and probably won't for a while. But I will not let this get me down. I will not DWELL on this and wondering when it is going to stop.

You have to fill that "time" somehow. Getting pills was exhausting for some.

How you fill that time will determine whether you will go back.

Keep positive, Mind over matter,
Chezz

[dreamin]

Hey you..

I am your cheering section.  I am so proud of you and happy for you..

sheila

[TWGimp]

Just trying to find info about addiction and withdrawals. I've been on loritabs for over 2 1/2 years since a car wreck. I've been off and on with them since and have never had any problems when I was off them until now---have the leg cramps, can't sleep all the good stuff. I'm so glad to find out I'm not nuts and that all this is normal. I know I drive my family nuts with the mood swings from all this. I haven't reached the point to quit I finally see the surgeon next month and then I'll start true withdrawals. I'm marking this spot just so I'll have other people to speak with that understand. Thanks

[Chezz]

To everyone struggling with this.



This is hard, w/d's suck. But all it takes is one pill and you are back on the rollercoaster and will have to go through all of these W/D's again. Start/stop/start/stop........

The cycle has to end sometime. And that sometime is now. There is never a good time to go through this. When you are 2-3months clean, you will realize that it wasn't so hard, that it is alot better chasing sobriety, than another pill.

I have said this a 1000x's. You have to WANT it. Even if you have to trick yourself. When you want to make that call, or visit to get pills, put it off for an hour. Then another....Then another.

Do whatever it takes. We all know were this road leads.

I wish this was so much easier.

Nothing is going to stop me. I want to be able to look myself in the mirror and FEEL that PRIDE inside once again.

I want to LOVE MYSELF again. I WILL do WHATEVER it takes.
My life isn't going to jump back into my lap.

We all are going to have to EARN it.

Chezz