Tapering - I think I figured something out!! :)

[kimmiek]

I have been tapering for about a week now and I usually have to do it every month.  I think the key is that I have to "give up the high"!!!  I know it sounds so simple, but that is the truth.  I have to be ok with just being myself, no buzz no high!!!  I have to keep telling myself that all day long!!  I can get to the point where I dont have any withdrawal symptoms, just keeping a very low dose of medicine in my body.  But I have to be ok with that.  That is the hard part.  I want the buzz!!!!  I want the good feelings!!! I wanna feel GOOD, not just ok!!! At least I am realizing where that line is.  I guess I really need to find out why I always want to feel better!!  I always want to feel good.  If I feel good, then I want to feel better.  Thats how I got myself into this mess.  Always that little voice inside telling me I can feel better!!!  This is no easy ride. Why is it so hard to just be me???

[Penelope14]

Oh How I can & do relate to this topic, but that was the old me, the new me just wants her life back, I just want to wake up in the morning & feel like I did 6 years ago, before I started abusing opiates, Im still tapering away at my methadone with lots of success, but I just wanted to say that I understand the need to want to feel good but also realize that true success with any taper & sobriety begins with relapse prevention, so having a good support group NA or NA or even friends or family is a plus when in these situations.

[tammyk_40]

This is what I heard from a counselor in inpatient once. When the pain exceeds the pleasure, you'll stop f---ing the porcupine. Just thought Id share.

[kimmiek]

Hi, thats  where Im at, I need to be able to take them for the pain I have cause even before I ever got them I had really bad pain.  My c4 and c5 are pressing on my spinal cord, thats what an MRI showed.  Also i have muscle spasams in my trapezius muscles and buldging discs in my neck and lower lumbar.  Also, (i know im really wining here!!!) my siatic nerve has started to bother me because of the lower lumber discs!!  So, I do have a legit reason.  I just need to control my med use.  I have had my hubby hold them for me in the past and it worked.  This next time Im gonna have him hold them for me.  I told him no matter what I say, or how mad I get at him, dont give me any more than Im allowed per day.  Because if I take too many, my tolerance goes up and Im screwed!!!  

[voiceofreason]

I can tell ya hun that SOMEONE ELSE HOLDING THE DRUGS IS THEEEEEEEE ONLY WAY for me at least. And Ive screwed up MANY times...........I also have legit pain BUT I CANT HANDLE the drugs for the very same reasons you described above. I think there are people on this forum that have quit,  and there are people here who are just trying NOT to abuse the drugs that they really do need, like myself. Ill also say BINGO to what you said above...........The "high" has to go by by.

[hopsing94]

My doctor helped me last time and though some days were kinda tough it wasn't so bad. Being the dumbass that I am. I convinced myself I could quit anytime by tapering off. Well until now I haven't wanted to quit again. I don't know if this is gonna work but I sure hope it does,because I sure as hell
don't want to try c/t again,I can't take it. I hate myself at times for ever starting again but I did so here I am.

[kimmiek]

thank you for your encouraging words.  That was what I was trying to say in the first post.  Its my choice, I could keep getting high and take toomuch meds and then end up dope sick for a week!  I know it sounded a little too simple, but thats what kept ringing in my mind. "Dont try to get high and I;ll be able to do this." I could let the desire of getting high outweigh the consequences of running out early.  Ive never heard of Ockhams Razor, but it does make sence.  Simply put, Thanks!!!

[nogie1717]

If you want to talk about weak, my monthly scripts would barely last 10 days.  I would tell myself I won't do it that way next month, but guess what?  I had a family of users where once one guy got his, we'd all party and the cycle went on.  Pretty soon, we were all hooked and no one was sharing and the scripts I kept to myself went faster and faster.

Don't know if you are familiar with Ockham's Razor at all (philosophy term) but it basically states that the simplist explanation is the best.  I like your ability to realize that not getting high is WAY better than not getting dopesick.

Kudos to you and best wishes.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Be careful. A good number of us here had legitimate reasons too.
Did you know that your body will 'make' pain up? It is so you will feed it this drug.
Stay in touch.

[kimmiek]

Hi - all good points.  I have legit pain I see a pain management doctor.  I know I am screwing things up when I take them too fast.   This month I took them about 6 days too fast.  I realized that if I kept taking them the way I was Id run out 6 days before my next script.  Soooo  I tapered - went thru mild wds for a few days and leveled off at a small amout in me to keep me out of wds and barely managing my pain until my next script.  I wish I could be as strong as all of you, but I guess Im just weaker, its tough living with pain and having an addictive personality.  Its a f'd up game - hopefully I can keep myself on a good schedule next time I get my meds.  Perhaps I could have my husband hold them and dispense them to me on a daily basis?  I think that would probably help, that way I dont build my tolerance up and then abuse.  thanks for all your replys

[IBKleen]

Great. If you have tapered before and it didn't work...May I ask what you are doing different this time?

I find that tapering is best done when someone can hold your meds and dispense them according to the taper. That way you are not subject to them and the temptation is removed. Do you have someone close to you that can help?

I am glad you are tired and want to quit. It is a huge step to admit that.

If you need a taper schedule or any other questions, just ask here.

Take care of yourself and good luck!!! Maybe you will be drug free by Christmas!!

[hopsing94]

What i'm talking about is tapering down to quit,not just til I get more. I have tapered down and quit before. Obviously it did not last, I have also tried cold turkey before and that never lasted more than
three days. The fact that I really really want to quit this time and knowing I can taper down to nothing is I hope gonna help me to quit. I've reached a point in my life where for the first time I can see the damage i'm doing to the loved ones around me. Tapering off just to use less seems like a waste of
time and money unless your trying to quit using completley. Know what I mean.

[IBKleen]

YA THINK?????? Of course you have to give up the high. Isn't that the idea of quitting?

You sound like you made up a whole new way to taper. It is quite interesting.

Good Luck. Keep posting.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Tapering to quit is one thing. Tapering until the next Rx is Abuse. Seems like some soul searching is needed here. The taper then taking lots gets rougher as you go. Pretty soon you will be looking for alternate sources for the drugs. It is a never ending circle until you come to grips with it.

[david0263]

I wish you guys all the best in your endevor to quit using.  Your views seem a little simplistic to me but that is just my experience.  Have you ever tried to quit and then started using again?  I did that over and over and it never worked.  That is how I know that I am an addict.  I hope quitting is that simple for you but my guess is that it will take a lot more than to quit chasing the high.  Get some support, it has worked wonders for me.

david

[hopsing94]

Damn you nailed right on the head,same here. I catch myself taking them just trying to get the high. So I think I can taper down to nothing if I quit trying to get the high and go as long as I can between
doses and work my way down to hardly nothing and quit.