ESH

[KimH]

I wondered if we could try that again? Will anyone share the positives of being sober compare to the hell of being addicted? I wan't to thank you Methman for sharing your hope. I didn't mention, I am an X herion addict and have been to a methadone clinic for a few years as well. I havent touched it in 4 years but I take ultram by the fistful. Not right now, I have been following the doctor's ween. I just think positive sharing of being sober really helps you get through the hard part of recovery. When you don't see any positive, seeing someone else's does.

[bmac]

Right on babe! MrGoat sir will get his due. It sounds to me he is gotten a lot of bad **** going in his life and he thinks by belittling us he makes himself seem so imporatant and so intellegent. He is just another doctor want to be from a pain clinic where most people end up when they can't get a real nursing job(no offense to any other nurses). He has had tragady in his life and he blames God, the one person that he claims never exsisted. Well he will either go away or get banned but like he said he is a hacker(whew, Im proud of that) and he can mess this place up bad. Grownup intellegent man acting like a tennager again. Sad don't cha think!
Well Lisabet you go girl!  Bmac
MrGoat sir, you see you are even runnin' off the women! LOL
                   Bill

[suzieneedshelp]

Hey gal!  You may want to try to call an Al=Anon or Narc Anon program (in the phone book).  It doesnt matter if it is drugs or alcohol..all the same.  They are spouses, sisters, parents, etc of addicts who share their experiences and info on what to do and wut not to do with one another.
Sweetie i admire you so much for your love for your man.
Keep us posted plz,
Love,
Suzie

[peaz]

Jesus, Bill---I go away for a couple days and leave you to babysit and what happens???!!!!  Don't think for a minute we women are going anywhere......You know me better than that.  LOL  

  Now then.......think it'll rain tomorrow???  :-) Peazella

[Expillman]

So much for your self control, Bill.  Your imagingry THREE-HEAEDED, Ill-tempered god is going to give me my due?  Also, you have quite an imagination, don't you?  VooDoo Dolls?  Ah, but what would you suspect from who can not control himself. Did you ever think that this lack of self-control might have something to do with your drug habit?

[Kurt Cobain]

Hey Susie,

I'm glad I found your post -- been kind of crowded here lately.

Being the drug addict (and consequently the "hider", not the "finder") of substances, I can only relate to how you're feeling after discovering those pills in the way my wife has to me, several times, over the years.  She compared discoveries like yours to the feeling she'd have if she discovered my infidelity with another woman. . .she's even called the various substances (be they alcohol, narcotics, whatever) "the ***** in the Bottle" -- a term I still cringe at, but now, I think, understand a little better as time goes by.

I hope I haven't made this worse, that certainly was not my intent. . .just wanted to present something that may help you identify the awful feeling in your gut you must have had when you made your discovery.

As a former avid pill-hider, though, and just as an aside. . .it doesn't sound to me like your husband was being very careful about hiding his drugs from you.  Believe me, when I was an active addict, if I didn't want something to be found, either in my residence or even on my person, it WOULD NOT BE FOUND.  Addiction is called cunning for good reason -- the addicted brain becomes VERY adept at concealing evidence of drug use, perhaps frighteningly so.  Looking back, I think that the only (few) times my wife ever "found" evidence of my use was when I was very sloppy about concealment.  Actually, it wouldn't be much of a stretch at all to say that deep down, I *wanted* to be caught.  After my last run, I very consciously wanted either to be caught by the law and punished for what I'd done (as I was) or to just go over my body's threshold and just die.  By the end, when I was apprehended, not only did it not matter to me which event happened first, I was almost hoping for death.

Please make sure you care for yourself now. . .as that part of your husband that is now being held captive by his addiction would want you to.  I know of groups such as Al-Anon and Nar-Anon that are specifically designed for those in your situation. . .although I've never been directly involved with them myself.  My prayers are with you both.

Peace,

Kurt

[MethMan]

Perhaps your kindled interest in the cause of people's drug habits would be best served if pointed inward.