Day 3 ends and Day 4 begins for me in 4 hours. I must say, it's been a wild ride. Today has been the worst, by far, but it's now in the rearview mirror, never to be seen again. I start Day 4 with a great deal of apprehension and hope. It's still a rollarcoaster in terms of my mental state of mind. BUT....clouds do appear to be parting for these few, brief, wonderful moments, allowing me a promising glimse of the sun, alas. The fog lifted a bit towards evening and I actually ate a little bit. Took a hot bath and came to work feeling pretty darn good.
Music is back. Which is to say that I'm listening and enjoying it for the first time in a long time. Isn't it strange what these drugs rob from us? While I'm preoccupied with the high, it invades, cunning and undetected, to relenquish me of my senses - my character - my joys - my small pleasures. It leaves, in it's careless wake, a ruined and desperate soul. MORAL = I want my **** back, dude. LOL
I'm thankful for so many things, right now. I must remind myself that I still have everything i started with. My family is STILL here. My friends are STILL here. My body will mend. My mind will sharpen and clarify. I'm so very lucky to have detected this slippery thief before he took everything from me. So, for those of you who are here and reading this, i urge you to follow so many others on this forum who have already travelled this arduous and frightening path to recovery. They can guide and encourage us - be it with a sharp word or a gentle thought. They know exactly what we're feeling.
We MUST do this. We MUST reclaim that which has been taken. Take the step, see your doctor, develope your plan, go cold turkey, taper, lock yourself in rehab.....whatever. It's high time we took to arms. We have too much to protect not to.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.