Endorphins - When do I get them back!

[From Aunt Lindy to Mariah]

Hi All! (I cant believe I got through, I must collect myself a moment).

Does anyone know how long it takes to have ones endorphins return to pre-opoid days?  I am just wondering about the day that I attempt to only use things like Yoga, meditation, and maybe the antidepressants to tackle my fibromyalgia and arthritis.  I have wanted to know this for a long time but could not get through to make a new post.  This is one exciting day!  I think I will do a quick pick on Lotto!  I would appreciate any information from you good people.  I mean do the drugs need to be out of your system for a period of time?  Does it depend on what you were on and how long you were on it?  
Thanks Again Everybody,
Marcie!

[To sick and scared from Neena]

Nope you don't sound like you're full of ****.  Sounds like we are both at the same point.  Under control.  Compared to what I used to take, 2 or 3 a day is nothing, but I really want to take none at all.  I have nightmares about my withdrawal/detox.  The actual event was horrible.  I almost went to the hospital.  I should have, but I felt so guilty that I suffered it out at home in front of my husband and daughter.  How humiliating.  He would shoot me if he knew that I was even taking this little amount at all.  He doesn't even take aspirin, so this whole Vicoden withdrawal was very strange to him.  He does smoke though, so we will try that quitting game again.  Stay in touch, please...Neena

[To sick and scared from Neena]

I think you are very right when you write that you still have depression, stomach problems, etc. even months after detox.  I detoxed in late October.  Of course, I did the horrible, severe withdrawals, but have since taken small amounts of Vicoden ES.  I was taking tons of them per day before.  Luckily, I have only gotten my hands on ten at a time so I use them responsibily, so far.  I am terrified of travelling down that road to Hell again.  I guess I'll need to taper with the few that I have left.  I am taking Zoloft and am still on Xanax since the detox, prescribed by a doctor.  I am not being honest with myself and I hate that, but for the 4 weeks that I was codiene free, I never felt good.  I felt disoriented and had wierd dreams.  I hope that I have not screwed things up totally.  I still don't know, nor do I remember what it felt like to be drug free, even though I only took them for a year or so.  Thanks for your very real post.  Neena

[vicky again to neena]

I forgot to comment on the leg thing.  ISN"T IT THE WORST?  I can't stand it.  Sometimes I even get it when I am using.  I have found that fiercly riding an exercise bike is the best thing for temporary help.  You won't believe the things you can do physically with exercise equipment when you are in pain.  My husband also karate chops my legs.  Wonderful.  Oh and a tanning booth helps, when I can drag myself to it.  The rays seem to relieve a little of yucky feeling.  During withdrawals, I mentally pretend my body is renewing itself and I am ridding myself of evil toxins in a ceremonial way.  I really sound like I am full of ****!!!!

[vicky to neena]

Hi Neena!!! I feel like I know you already thru reading your posts.  No, I am not clean.  However, I have claimed some control over my addiction in the last year.  I have been prescribed vicodin Es for a congential neck problem that also has become arthritic that no one seems to know what to do about.  Anyway, I will candidly say that my neck, shoulders and the nerves down my back do not feel any better when I take narcotics.  However, I now am addicted to the pills or I go through withdrawal.  Like you, I used to down them, would go through w/d's swear I was done until, refill time.  My husband finally gave me a lecture on "good hydro management!!!!!"  Except for a half a vicodin about once a year, He does not take anything except motrin.  He got tired of my going through the ups and downs and we had a discussion on how to handle it.  The result is that eventually I got tired of being sick and tired, but I could not stop.  So I tapered down from two every two hours to my normal dose of 1 every four hours.  Now, sometimes I do take more than I should.  The addict in me will say "But Vicky, you deserve to take a vicodin/hydro because...."  And then I pay the price by going through withdrawals.  The surprising thing is my body finally adapted, and though I don't get a euphoric feeling ALL the time, I am able to hold off the withdrawals, maintain my life and still feel good.  The bad thing is I am an addict.  I almost don't want surgury yet because I am afraid I will no longer get my pills.  There!!! I said it.  Anyway, Now I couldn't imagine taking the amounts that I read about, it would literally make me sick.  So, I think there is a happy medium.  It takes a lot of willpower, but it does work.  Sorry this is so long, Neena, and I probably didn't even mention anything you asked.  Please remind me if I didn't. :)

[marque]

Hi, to Marcie,J.B. & Dr. Steve, I've only posted a few times on this forum and have seem to have made a connection with my fellow attics. For that I am truly grateful. I thank my God for another day clean, and I have come to realize that support groups make winners. Today I have 137 Days clean. But back to the original question "When do the endorphins return " I beleive
that this is so slow that you almost can't feel it taking place. Since I came out of opiate detox on July 28th.2000 I had the normal acute withdrawls that Im sure most of us have had in times past.(Anxiety, Agitation, Depression,Insomnia, Hypertension and Muscle cramps)But even though Ive havent had a vicodin in over fours months..I still am in deep depression and also have panic attacks... My Dr. has me on Zoloft 50mg. and a mood stableiser Depracote 250 mg. I really dont know if there doin there job. Maybe my Deppression could be worse. I know that the neuro transmitter Serotonin plays key parts in your mood. Up until July this year I was eating 8-10 Vico's a day. Had been for over a year.Told my boss I had to get some help cause that window between tolerance and just feeling normal was closing fast. I was sick when I took them and sick from withdrawls....so I had no place to go except detox.....then after that went into a 28 day program. But my consetration level and short term memory was really messed up.
But at least that some better now..... Guess I have what you would call protracted abstinence syndrome. I really dont know how long this will last.I wake up with anxiety jumps I call them. mostly in my stomach area. Im the mornings.and have this feeling of bewilderment...my preciption of this reality some how has changed .....like What the world is like thru sombody'elese
eyes....really weird .....that some times can cause the anxeity to rear its ugly head.
This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my 43yrs of life. I remember in my dreams how life was with out these drugs.....Happy and content with out the depression that I awakin to.My only advice is to stay clean .....get to NA or a AA progran it can help you thru this time in your life......
when ever I feel a craving ...I think where I was with all those withdrawls and Ill have to go thru all this over again. or I'll Pray or get to a meeting or call one of the names on my list or addicts that have made it....If you really want to quit it can be done........thank you everybody....till next time...Mark

[To sick and scared from Neena]

Are you still clean?  I read that you went through severe withdrawals, as I did after only taking 5-6 Vic ES/day.  My detox was as you described.  I would rock back and forth...I could not stop my legs...I gagged all the time, I could not think, could not eat, all the while I tended to my 21 month old daughter.  I did board my dog though, after I fell while feeding her.  I got offended by someone making me feel guilty about wanting to put my daughter in a church half day play/daycare, so I left this board for a while.  But, I have stuck around and been in touch a little.  We all have our own stories..."baggage" reasons for abuse, ie...excuses.  If one day you care to hear my story, I'll fill you in, but I just wanted to tell you that, I too, am praying for you and that you stay constant.  I have begun to take one or two or three pills a day; female problems, but none the less, taking them again...but only in small amounts.  I WAS really pounding them. 2-3 at every whim, all the while taking Ambien, Xanax, Zoloft and drinking.  Absolutely insane.  I am terrified of that life.  I wouldn't wish that Hell on anyone...well maybe my worst enemy.  The withdrawals, the life of a Vicoden addict is no life at all.  I hope that your raise came through.  I can't wait to get back to work part-time, just to keep my mind moving and challenged.  Good Luck Vicky, Neena