Aa
Family members and your situation.
I was just curious how your better halfs handle your predicaments. I mean are they sympathetic? Do they just not have a clue? Do they have problems as well? Do they choose to just not know? I was just wondering what your situations are like. My husband is wonderful. He does not quite understand what is going on. I take my meds for a legitamite reason. I do other things to try and help with the chronic pain. As I have said before Chiropractic, acupunture, meditation yada yada yada. He understands that I am in pain. But he does not quite understand why I am so obsessive with my meds. Especially before vacations. I give him my medicine to give me although he does not understand why. Then about 12 hours after I give him my meds to keep and hide I am calling him at work to ask where they are. I know he thinks I am WACKY but he got WACKY when he married me HAHA. What is your life like?
Sincerely,
Marcie.
P.S. Consider this an open thread. If you cant get in to start another one feel free to jump in. This is not a crisis thread!
Have a good day all!
Sincerely,
Marcie.
P.S. Consider this an open thread. If you cant get in to start another one feel free to jump in. This is not a crisis thread!
Have a good day all!
First of all, congratulations on your sobriety. I think you are very brave and doing a wonderful job. Keep posting, because you set a great example for everyone else.
I just want to share a concern that I have. You mentioned earlier that as you are withdrawing, you sometimes think you could use occasionally in the future. I think you're doing the right thing by pushing those thought aside and taking things 'one day at a time.' But I also think you should keep those thoughts as a gentle warning signal. I used to think that getting sober was the hardest part of withdrawal (I'm a Vicodin addict). However, I learned the hard way that this is not the case. And I usually withdraw cold turkey.
The first time I went through withdrawal, I took a few Klonipin and had an 'okay' time. It was a rough haul, but not as bad as I expected. And then I found some Vicodin lying around, just waiting for me to pop them. In my mind, the withdrawal had been unpleasant, but not life-threatening or horrendous. So I took the Vicodin, thinking I could use with discretion. No way. I went through the same crazy cycle and was forced to quit again.
The second time I went through withdrawal, I drank a little. Not enough to get drunk or forget my pain, but enough to call it my 'coping mechanism.' That was the hardest part, because I hate the thought of replacing one addiction with another addiction. Eventually I got through the withdrawal, which was once again 'okay' (ie, not horrendous). And I felt really, really good. I stopped drinking and I took control of my life. I actually felt better than when I was high. What a surprise.
As you can probably guess, I started using again. Why, why, why? I was okay the first time I quit, very happy the second time--why did I go back for more pain and abuse? Basically, I thought I had the monster beaten. Since I didn't have a nightmare experience withdrawing, I thought I could dabble a bit. I thought I had the upper hand, control. The point I'm trying to make is that we all have the best intentions, and we all think we have a unique situation or special circumstances. But basically, we are all powerless when it comes to addiction. And powerless means that you have NO control. Once you've become addiction, you can't use responsibly. That's just an oxymoron.
And I think the end of your above post is quite telling. You thought the hard part was getting sober...however, you seem to be doing well. I know this isn't fun, but you're doing everything you need to do, and you're being good to yourself, too. Now, just imagine: you thought this was the hardest part...but it's not. You think staying sober is the easier part...maybe it's not.
I was deathly afraid to withdraw. And I thought that once I quit, the rest would be cake. But here I am, on my third relapse, and the one lesson I've learned is that the hardest part is not saying "no more" initially, but rather saying "no more" everyday of my life.
Again, congratulations. This was just food for thought...I think you're doing great.
I just want to share a concern that I have. You mentioned earlier that as you are withdrawing, you sometimes think you could use occasionally in the future. I think you're doing the right thing by pushing those thought aside and taking things 'one day at a time.' But I also think you should keep those thoughts as a gentle warning signal. I used to think that getting sober was the hardest part of withdrawal (I'm a Vicodin addict). However, I learned the hard way that this is not the case. And I usually withdraw cold turkey.
The first time I went through withdrawal, I took a few Klonipin and had an 'okay' time. It was a rough haul, but not as bad as I expected. And then I found some Vicodin lying around, just waiting for me to pop them. In my mind, the withdrawal had been unpleasant, but not life-threatening or horrendous. So I took the Vicodin, thinking I could use with discretion. No way. I went through the same crazy cycle and was forced to quit again.
The second time I went through withdrawal, I drank a little. Not enough to get drunk or forget my pain, but enough to call it my 'coping mechanism.' That was the hardest part, because I hate the thought of replacing one addiction with another addiction. Eventually I got through the withdrawal, which was once again 'okay' (ie, not horrendous). And I felt really, really good. I stopped drinking and I took control of my life. I actually felt better than when I was high. What a surprise.
As you can probably guess, I started using again. Why, why, why? I was okay the first time I quit, very happy the second time--why did I go back for more pain and abuse? Basically, I thought I had the monster beaten. Since I didn't have a nightmare experience withdrawing, I thought I could dabble a bit. I thought I had the upper hand, control. The point I'm trying to make is that we all have the best intentions, and we all think we have a unique situation or special circumstances. But basically, we are all powerless when it comes to addiction. And powerless means that you have NO control. Once you've become addiction, you can't use responsibly. That's just an oxymoron.
And I think the end of your above post is quite telling. You thought the hard part was getting sober...however, you seem to be doing well. I know this isn't fun, but you're doing everything you need to do, and you're being good to yourself, too. Now, just imagine: you thought this was the hardest part...but it's not. You think staying sober is the easier part...maybe it's not.
I was deathly afraid to withdraw. And I thought that once I quit, the rest would be cake. But here I am, on my third relapse, and the one lesson I've learned is that the hardest part is not saying "no more" initially, but rather saying "no more" everyday of my life.
Again, congratulations. This was just food for thought...I think you're doing great.
Well Tom, last night my shins ACHED SO BAD - that usually starts when I'm due for a dose of an opiate and since I am clean, I just got into my hot bathtub with this really cool Homedics Bath bubbler thing (very close to a real jacuzzi) - then took 2 baclofen and 1 clonidine just to make sure nothing happened to me (that's what the prescription label said to do) then I went to bed and slept like a baby. I woke up at 5:30 to a loud noise outside and decided to get up. Got on the computer to aol keyword "A & R CHAT" which lists addiction and recovery chats and online meetings and had some coffee. Felt a little nauseaous upon wakening but it passed after an hour. I decided not to take anymore pills/injects at this point because I really didn't feel bad. Just very weird to not be high. I should also mention that I attended 2 online AA meetings yesterday (one at 12 noon and one at 6pm) then went to a face to face AA meeting at 7pm last night. I need to surround myself with this to keep believing that I can STAY sober. Stupid little thing in the back of my head keeps saying that once I get by all this, I can use "occassionally" - I know this is not true. I also know that this is ONE DAY AT A TIME so just for today I am going to be sober. My husband is really excited and has decided to quit the tapering and just go the route I have taken. He is also really proud of me and wants to be sober too. I am crying right now because this is just SO amazing. Tom, maybe I could arrange for u to stay with someone in my town for a few days and YOU could go to Dr Gooberman. I would drive you. This is a fantastic way to get off these. And I have to say I WAS VERY SCARED but you won't have a hard time - I didn't. Anyone who is on them and wants to med detox should try the buprenorphine injection and clonidine/baclofen combo - it's a great way to go. I hear everyone saying "the easy part is getting sober, hard part is staying sober" and I was thinking "NO, the HARD part for me is GETTING sober" but really, Tom, using this method was not hard at all. My offer stands to u Tom, at any time, I will help u anyway I can. I understand where you are and where you want to be. I will keep you posted on my progress - today I took no injects, no pills, no anything and feel fine. I will be waiting to hear from you my friends. God Bless, your friend, Maryanne
I'm curious about this baclofen Maryanne mentions. I know what rxlist.com says about it. But I wonder how they compare to the more commonly used muscle relaxants like Valium or Soma. Anyone used baclofen?
bravo, Maryanne! Stay the course, if you can. I'm so proud of you!!
If it works for you that may help make up my mind about trying bup before I go on methadone maintenance. I know what you mean about feeling naked without the pills. Perhaps it would help just to have a few lorcets in your purse, not to temp you, but to give you some measure of security. I use a lot less Darvon and Xanax now at work, but I have this handy little screwtop blue bottle that fits in my shirt pocket or in my pants pocket with my car keys. I've got 30 Darvon and probably 40 Xanax in that bottle, but I only take a morning and afternoon dose consisting of 4 darvon and one Xanax each time (I know that sounds like a lot to some, but for me it's quite conservative). But just having them in my pocket actually lowers my anxiety level. Maybe something like that would work while you're following the bup process. I still can't believe I'm living in Sothern California and can't get this medicine here. I'd love to get a daily report from you, just tell us how you feel from one day to the next. I know you're going to make it.
If it works for you that may help make up my mind about trying bup before I go on methadone maintenance. I know what you mean about feeling naked without the pills. Perhaps it would help just to have a few lorcets in your purse, not to temp you, but to give you some measure of security. I use a lot less Darvon and Xanax now at work, but I have this handy little screwtop blue bottle that fits in my shirt pocket or in my pants pocket with my car keys. I've got 30 Darvon and probably 40 Xanax in that bottle, but I only take a morning and afternoon dose consisting of 4 darvon and one Xanax each time (I know that sounds like a lot to some, but for me it's quite conservative). But just having them in my pocket actually lowers my anxiety level. Maybe something like that would work while you're following the bup process. I still can't believe I'm living in Sothern California and can't get this medicine here. I'd love to get a daily report from you, just tell us how you feel from one day to the next. I know you're going to make it.
Thank you for your words...I know you understand from the depths of your soul. I found much peace in what you said to me. It helped me through the last couple of days. Blessings to you and Marty. Love, Brighty
This is the beginning of your new life... congratulations !! I hope your post encourages others to go for the buprenex and get their lives back.... God bless you. And thank you for your kindness and sympathy at a time when I really needed it. Love, Brighty
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