Forgetting the past? tough...starting today and moving on to the future for me is easy if i could erasee the past...the past is where all the triggers live..quitting pills or ur doc is way easier than forgetting the past as it will live on...whether i dwell on my past is my choice....and is hard not to do....i am using the rubber band method again like when i quit smoking....it does me no good to go there as i can not fix it...if i can fix it it benefts me to go there...my triggers are things i can not change and they all live in the past
I know exactly what u mean....I really suffered with this one...I have 4 kids, and had so much guilt, i could barly stand to look at myself in the mirror...The part the most i think of is laying in bed, saying i am sick , or have the flu..Damn they must think mom was always sick.....I have 3 left in grade school, and youngest being 8...
After seeing a counsouler , i was able to let all that go...i don't dwell on it anymore...That is the last chapter in my miserable book...But my new book, is great...my kids have there mom back and that is all that counts...I have to beleive that, or i will relapse , just to not feel....But i DO feel now, and I feel their hugs, and hug them back just as tight...
Stay positive, and know we cannot change the past...We can only do better now, one day at a time....PLEASE know you are not alone in this feeling...But i do think their are moms without addiction that feel the same way...I think every parent does...
Dont' get me wrong , addiction is worst, because i know for me , it came first..
now it DOES NOT!1
Good luck, and don't bring your self down...
hugs
r2r
good post r2r....could not put it into words as well as u did!