Aa
HELP/ need support
Help, Im so lost, got so much going on. Just left a bad and abusive relationship, and got my 3 children to safety. Now I really need help getting off these lortabs. I havent taken amy in 2 days but Im scared because Ive done this before and once the physical part is over I have so much stress and depression set in and then I have absolutely no support so I end up caving and relapsing. Cant really do inpatient or NA because Im raising 3 kids completely by myself no help at all oldest is in school, but hes out for summer now and youngest 2 stay home with me. Anyways just really want to quit for good forever this time an make a better life for me and my children. Any suggestions anybody
Hello and thanks toyou all! I am on day 4 now and feeling slightly better, well not really but somewhat. I went to the dr and got some clonidin and an antideppressant Paxil? Anybody heard of those? I have been on here reading alot the past few days I have just been so foggy headed and my eyes all watery and blurry and it was like I didnt even have enough energy to type. So Im a litle better today, I can sit up and type, I took a nice long hot bubble bath and went to the dr told them everything and set up an appointment for therapy. I am really wanting this to work and to be able to stay off the pills forever and have a good life for my kids. I have talked to a few people on here and researched some things and talked to my dr, and the best plan I have come up with their combined advice is something like this, please tell me what you think, any advice, do you think its enough??? I am going to give it toGod get my relationship back with him, get in a good supportive church, exercise or try lol, drink lots of water, take a multivitamin and the Paxil longer term and just have the clonidine tylenol immodium for today and tomorrow??? I dont know Im so lost I just really really want this to work...oh which reminds me of the best advice someone gave me...Stay positive! Oh Im trying but its so hard right now with everything else going on right now I don know what to do I feel like Im losing it, even when I get off these things I have to have an aftercare plan, stay away from my ex, find a place to live a car a job, I dont have anything or anywhere to go now that I left him but Im still sure I made the right decisions to leave him and the pills just feeling a little overwhelmed right now ughhh must be these real emotions and feelings flooding in i keep hearing about ok sorry im really rambling now :)
I hope you dont let your ex convince you that you are worthless. Dont give up on yourself, I think its important to get clean for yourself but through times when it is not enough to do it just for yurself, think of your kids and how they need you. Not everyone can be a mother, i believe everyone that has children has them for a reason theyve got something to pass on, something to teach, and i believe your children are here for a reason, just as you are a mother for a reason, I believe your children will show you pure unconditional love. Im sorry youve had to go thru so much pain in your life on top of addiction, i hope you dont let it bring you down. I believe you can get sober and be an amazing mother and person.
I believe any sensable person would find thereselves in the same shoes as you in your situation. These pills have an enourmous effect on the brain and our brain is all we have. It's time to quit once and for all, but don't beat yourself up for the times you were using and don't throw away the good moments you had with your children, even though you were using.
I had some of the greatest times with my son even while using... I will always regret using, but I refuse to regret the great times I had with him.
I had some of the greatest times with my son even while using... I will always regret using, but I refuse to regret the great times I had with him.
Wow thanks Harper OC thats good to hear and its weird because I just realized your right. I am a very strong person and have been thru alot but always take care of my children! Thats actually something I use to think all the time but lately I dont know I guess I just havent heard it or felt it in so long and then I get all depressed and think well if im so strong and always put my kids first and do everything for them, then how come im not strong enough to just beat these pills once and for all. and its just become a vicious cycle for me lately and somwhere along the line, thru all the pills, all the abuse from my ex and him convincing me i wasnt worth anything i dont know I just feel like i lost myself somewherre along the way
Also everyone on here including myself has said your a great parent and do this for your kids. So true, but i hope u no ur worth it too. Even if you didnt have kids youre still worth fighting for, the kids are just a special addition to do this for too, they will look up to you for beating this they are still young. But you sound like a strong person and youve been through a lot and you still put your kids first and take care of them. Dont forget about yourself too, i think youre worth this, you deserve sobriety. Fix yourself and youll be an even better parent. Your kids are lucky dont give up.
Irishann, Thank you so much for your support and kind words!!! And yes I thought it was an appropiate name too! And yes, my goal my determination my strength everything is for my kids, they are my world and are just innocent and deserve a mama thats clean and soer and can give them everything they deserve in life!!! I see your goal is a job in Russia and thats awesome! That is an awesome motivator, what better way to gain strength and move forward to know you have a beautiful wonderful life waiting for you!!
Harper OC I just cried while reading that! I needed that sooo much!!! I am trying so hard to be strong and my kids are my world and I only want to give them the best its what they deserve. It just felt really good to hear someone on my side and someone that thinks Im doing the right thing! I desperately need the support here because I think thats whats been missing in my life and this struggle to be clean and start a fresh new chapter in my life!
Oh and mebroken I just wanted to tell you how very much that meant to earlier! Its like you were inside my head and knew just what I needed to hear! I had just woke up not long before and was feeling very fuzzy and wanted to rush to the bubble bath and get the kids breakfast and all that or I would have typed more, but I do want to sincrely thank you for your words and let you know how much they helped me
Harper OC I just cried while reading that! I needed that sooo much!!! I am trying so hard to be strong and my kids are my world and I only want to give them the best its what they deserve. It just felt really good to hear someone on my side and someone that thinks Im doing the right thing! I desperately need the support here because I think thats whats been missing in my life and this struggle to be clean and start a fresh new chapter in my life!
Oh and mebroken I just wanted to tell you how very much that meant to earlier! Its like you were inside my head and knew just what I needed to hear! I had just woke up not long before and was feeling very fuzzy and wanted to rush to the bubble bath and get the kids breakfast and all that or I would have typed more, but I do want to sincrely thank you for your words and let you know how much they helped me
I find your strength admirable and I think your kids are lucky to have a mother that loves them lke you do and put your life on the line to help them and get them away from your ex. That was probably the best thing you could have done and even though your kids are young i am sure they realize this and see your strength and courage and will grow up with it as well, learning from you. If you add sobriety that will make u that much greater of a parent. I am only 4 days off opiates, barely starting this battle, im not one to be giving out any advice, as i am just as messed up as the rest, but i can offer my support. That has helped me a lot getting thru the past 4 days. Knowing i'm not alone, neither are you. People really care. I am coming off about 400mg of oxycontin a day habit, and it has been he ll i cant imagine having to take care of kids and go thru this, that just makes me even more impressed and inspired by what ur going thru. I hope you can fight thru this you sound like such a strong person, your kids are lucky, hope you know that. Anyways, just wanted to offer my support, ur not alone.
Hey Tiger! Appropriate name! Strength! Determination! I've tried the taper off lortab for about ten days and yesterday I said" screw it"..so im headed for the ct wds! I have to work all weekend, and my mind is already going crazy! My boyfriend just text me and asked what he could bring to work to help me, and I almost said" a buddy" (our code word for lortab)...but, I said nothing. Wah wah. ...long story short...I might have a great opportunity to get a job in russia starting" hopefully" at the end of the year...that is my goal for getting and staying clean...and it sounds to me like your goal is your beautiful kids! This is a great forum, and its helped me a lot...we are all here to support! We can go thru it together! You are strong!
irish!
irish!
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much that means to me just to hear someone talk to me. You have no idea when I say I have no support I mean none. I had to move out of state to get me and my children away from my ex and I do not know anyone here at all. So this is really hard to do all alone just me and my 3 kids. I am going to try to use this online support and kcik these pills and rebuild my life!!! How long does this depression/mental blah last? Ive always been a little sad wonder if i should try antidepprassants? I tried calling drs yesterday tho and cant get in anywhere for atleast a month, wonder if by then my mind will have fixed itself??? I dont know since Im also dealing with other depression and moving and starting over and gosh i dont know maybe im in over my head??? I dont know what to do but just knowing there is people out here helps alot Thanks Sorry if Im rambling head is just all cloudy???
that 'after the physical detox depression thing' is totally normal. it is just your brain lacking in some neurotransmitters that the drugs messed up. THEY WILL COME BACK but it takes time. it is like postpartum depression - a chemical imbalance only involving brain rather than hormones. (personally i do not think it is a bad idea for some people that really really suffer during that post detox time if they get suicidal or just too depressed to function at all to get medical help and take some antidepressants for a while. lesser of 2 evils thing). but just remember that it will get better. your brain will heal. there are natural supplements and stuff you can take to help it along (i've stumbled across a bunch of things listed just reading a few posts in this forum).
if you want to go to NA/AA meetings there are plenty that have other people that had no choice but to bring their kids with them.. look for any woman's meeting- those almost always have tons of kids. just saying if you think that will be the thing that will help you don't let being a single parent stop you! or you can do it on-line if you want too. i think they have on-line NA meetings. and all sorts of forums like this- really there is tons of support on-line, you never have to feel alone when you have the whole world available just by turning on computer.
just do not let anything stop you from your goal of having a life that doesn't revolve around drugs. the physical detox is one of the hardest things in world, yet once that is done that mental BLAH after period is often harder. to get through that you have to stay super committed to not going back with everything you've got. keep telling yourself when you feel really bad-
"this is just a stupid shortage of stupid neurotransmitters in my brain. i am making more as fast as i can and will heal. hang in there [insert your name here] it will get better! do not forget how wonderful it is to be FREE and not in a prison made of lies and drugs and fear. i will not go back to that horrible life. no way, no how. this will pass"
or something like that, make your own chant (i don't know what to call it) up that you can say to yourself over and over in moments of weakness. drown out the voice in your head that wants you to use again when it start buzzing with your personalized chant. it sounds silly i know, but you'll be surprised how your chant can make the bad thoughts go away for a while.
and find and do things that bring you enjoyment, make you happy. you need that. make the time in every day to do 'your thing' whatever that might be that fulfills and centers you. (like for me it is being with animals, helping them, feeding them, etc. maybe for someone else it is playing an instrument or working in the soil of garden or writing or working out or building birdhouses or dancing -whatever!) everyone has something they love to do, that makes them happy. doing whatever that is will speed the healing of your brain and help you stay away from relapsing. think of the time you spend doing 'your thing' as a necessary part of your recovery and no matter what is going on you have to have your 'happy time' every single day.
eventually that post detox depression will lift and you might find peace and happiness are all day occurrences happening naturally.
congrats on 2 days w/o the pills! you can do this........
if you want to go to NA/AA meetings there are plenty that have other people that had no choice but to bring their kids with them.. look for any woman's meeting- those almost always have tons of kids. just saying if you think that will be the thing that will help you don't let being a single parent stop you! or you can do it on-line if you want too. i think they have on-line NA meetings. and all sorts of forums like this- really there is tons of support on-line, you never have to feel alone when you have the whole world available just by turning on computer.
just do not let anything stop you from your goal of having a life that doesn't revolve around drugs. the physical detox is one of the hardest things in world, yet once that is done that mental BLAH after period is often harder. to get through that you have to stay super committed to not going back with everything you've got. keep telling yourself when you feel really bad-
"this is just a stupid shortage of stupid neurotransmitters in my brain. i am making more as fast as i can and will heal. hang in there [insert your name here] it will get better! do not forget how wonderful it is to be FREE and not in a prison made of lies and drugs and fear. i will not go back to that horrible life. no way, no how. this will pass"
or something like that, make your own chant (i don't know what to call it) up that you can say to yourself over and over in moments of weakness. drown out the voice in your head that wants you to use again when it start buzzing with your personalized chant. it sounds silly i know, but you'll be surprised how your chant can make the bad thoughts go away for a while.
and find and do things that bring you enjoyment, make you happy. you need that. make the time in every day to do 'your thing' whatever that might be that fulfills and centers you. (like for me it is being with animals, helping them, feeding them, etc. maybe for someone else it is playing an instrument or working in the soil of garden or writing or working out or building birdhouses or dancing -whatever!) everyone has something they love to do, that makes them happy. doing whatever that is will speed the healing of your brain and help you stay away from relapsing. think of the time you spend doing 'your thing' as a necessary part of your recovery and no matter what is going on you have to have your 'happy time' every single day.
eventually that post detox depression will lift and you might find peace and happiness are all day occurrences happening naturally.
congrats on 2 days w/o the pills! you can do this........
Good job leaving the abusive relationship and getting yourself and your children out safe!! That is a huge step and I know hard to do!! Be very proud of yourself for that. I have been there, luckily no children involved but it was very hard. I just joined this forum but there are a lot of good people and support here that can help you out. I've read so much already that has inspired me. There are tons of suggestions on how to taper off the meds....and etc. I am working on getting to that point myself.
Good luck! And stay strong!!
K
Good luck! And stay strong!!
K
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