Worstmotherever

[pgnscared]

Just wanted to drop a line and let you know that I know exactly how you feel. I am 10 weeks pregnant and when I found out I was taking 15-20 norco's a day (10/325). Of course I freaked! Because the weekend before my test I had to have taken at least 40-50 pills. I was so worried about all the acetaminophen, still am, and that is when I found this forum. It has helped tremendously. Fortunately I was able to taper and finally quit with minimal W/D's, I am now 29 days free of those little yellow pills. But I know how hard it is to quit even for the love of your unborn. Heck, I couldn

[djm1414]

u ok most people don't understand i have 60 pills time i hit my 12th beer they be gone ftw my seizures,depression and anxiety

[addictedtoloratab]

I am so happy you two found each other.  I just really wish that worstmothernever would change her name and stop beating herself up.  You are the right person to help her.  I am so happy for both of you.  And Pgnscared I am just so proud of you, I remember when you first came here and went through hell, but, you did it.  Please take here under your wing and give her your beautiful advice.  Peace to both of you, Huggs, G

[worstmotherever]

I take about 10-12 5/500 vicodin a day, but not every day. I take them about 5-6 days in a row, until I run out. then I have to wait for a refill, usually about 4-5 days.

I know it's the tylenol I really should worry about, but I can't stop! when I run out all I can think about is the day I can pick up more. Then when I have them I can never get the feeling I want, you know what I mean? so I take another one, and another one. I would take more than 10-12 but I don't want to die of a tylenol overdose, how terrible would that be for my 3 kids. How did your mom die? oh, she took too many pills. ugh....

God help me.

[pgnscared]

Trust me, it isn't that I am stronger than you. We all have the strength we just find it in different ways. I had been on this roller coaster for almost a year and I was ready to quit before the pregnancy, I was just tired of the game. But if it weren't for the pregnancy I wouldn't have just quit. I would still be stuck in he!!. I was taking the hydrocondone 10mg for back pain. I had surgery in July/Aug and then got into a really bad car accident in Nov so I never stopped taking them and I loved the way they made me feel, all 10-15 of them a day :). I am now realizing slowly that I don't remember much, I was short tempered, and I wasn't any BETTER while on them in any way. Although I have less motivation I can actually get out of bed in the morning without having to walk downstairs and go back to sleep on the couch while my 3 year old watched TV next to me. I don't miss those days at all! The norco's are 10mg hydroconde and 325 acetaminophen. I started taking those because I didn't want OD on Tylenol and I was way over doing it. I too suffer from horrible, horrible migraines. Hydrocondone can't touch them so it is useless for me to take them. Relpax really seems to work; in fact it was my 9th medication before they got it right. What really stinks is you can't take that while prego.

I can promise that you are NOT a loser, we have all gone through the I love them; I hate them with our addictions. I am here whenever you need to talk ***@**** anytime.

I am sorry that you feel "stuck" with your significant other. I know how miserable that can be. I have been married for 8 years now and the first 2 years were tough the 4th and 5th were IMPOSSIBLE. We couldn't stand each other, it was bad. I couldn't even stand the sound of him breathing...it was totally war of the roses. But we knew we had already brought a child into this world and us screaming horrible things at each other in front of her wasn't doing anyone any good. So we actually started talking again and kind of feel in love all over again. Don't get me wrong he still rants and raves and says things that are totally out of line but now I am comfortable in saying STOP. If you want to yell go outside.

I was in school full time, worked 40hrs a week, when my daughter was 6months to 2 years. It was tough, really, really tough. I finally started taking online classes and read my books, and homework to her. She was in Calc 3 as a baby! She would just stare and listen, hopefully she will retain some of it. Probably not doable with 3 small ones but maybe once they go to bed?

How many pills are you taking a day and what dosage?

Please email me if you would like to talk offline. Take care

[worstmotherever]

Thank you so much for posting to me. I really needed to hear from somebody in a similiar situation. I am encouraged by your story. You are a much stronger woman than me.

You quit on your own? Like you still had access to more pills but you made the decision to stop getting them? How are you managing your pain? Where did you get that strength and will power? I have never heard of the pills you were taking. Are they opiates?

I really wish that I had that willpower. I want to not want the pills, but I want them, so I don't want to quit, you know? I feel like such a loser.

I don't know how I let my life get to this point.

I have 3 kids, 8, 6 and 3, and now this one on the way. Their dad is around, and is supportive, but it's not a for-real relationship. Marriage is not ever going to happen. It's not that I'm planning on going anywhere, I just don't care enought to spend money and time getting married. We are roommates/parents.  We work opposite shifts, we rarely see each other. We haven't slept in the same bed for years, we don't ever spend any time together. I have sex with him just to keep him around because I can't do this by myself.

I work full time at a restrictive dead end job I hate. I go to school 2 nights a week, which is the highlight of my life right now, but it's hard. I would have never wish this on anybody. The stress of having a 10 page paper due after working all week and trying to write it with 3 kids screaming in the background is almost too much to take.

In Nov./Dec. I could feel a serious depression coming on, and mistakenly thought I could distract myself by getting pregnant again. I knew I wanted one more, so I decided to just go ahead and do it. Well, it didn't cure my depression, it made it worse. Stupid me.

I have had terrible headaches since the birth of my 3 year old. I was taking topamax, immitrex and tramadol in the last few years. Actually, they had cut me off of the tramadol for requesting too many refills. I was hooked on that too. I had been off those since about October. When I asked if there was anything I could take after becoming pregnant, they gave me a script for 90 vicodin with 3 refills. I was torn between feeling happy, like I had hit the jackpot, and feeling scared, and incredibly guilty. And here I am, 2 months later. Feeling like the worst mother ever.