Day 1 - Quitting Hydrocodone

[C8H10N4O2]

So I'm standing at a precipice.  I know I'm stopping.  I know that I'm in for hell and then some.  As I said in my last post, my wife knows that I'm doing this and I told my oldest that I'm not going to be feeling good for a while.

To review, I've done a very fast taper...  60mg to 15mg in two weeks.  I've had withdrawals throughout, but I've stuck with it.  Today was supposed to be my last dose because I thought that I had to be on it to coach a soccer game in a few hours.  Now, I'm sitting here and looking at the bottle...  I don't want to take the pills.  Its been over 24 hours.  Why restart the cycle, and prolong the inevitable?

My last dose was yesterday morning.  I don't feel horrible yet, but I know its coming...

Should I take the last dose and prolong the cycle or just flush them?

Matt

[I_want_out]

You, I and thousands of others seem to have the same exact problem, with little variance in stories. I was here before, now back in day one, like you. Im here with you, like so many others here. They, we can save our lives. We have to want, and believe. Both of which I struggle with at this very moment. I am scared out of my mind. was on 10mg hydros...and took almost 20 a day for several years. We have to fight!

[guv338]

I hope you are still hanging in there.  Your last post sounded like your fighting a good fight.  You may get a little bloody but keep your head up and keep swingin at it,  you'll come out on the other side much stronger and wiser.

To Issa81:  I did'nt mean to imply that your advise was in any way wrong, I just wanted to point out that either way you go, its going to be rough when you finally go off everything.  I wish I had done a little more research on the Suboxone b4 I tried it.  The ads just made it sound so easy and it was, as long as I took it.  Once off of it, the games began.  There are just as many people here that would tell you just the opposite and that it has been life saving for them.  Sorry if I made you feel I was bustin your chops.  

[ginsa]

It might be hard to know whether tapering has relieved some of your acute withdrawl symptoms or not.  Everyone is different and apparently each time detoxing can be different for the same person. I think that I may have suffered less intense physical wd symtoms by tapering, but the anxiety and depression was exacerbated by it. Of course I tapered over months and suffered wd for months. The way you tapered might have been just what you needed. You seem to be doing really well. I hope you keep improving steadily. I think a good attitude is your best ally.

[C8H10N4O2]

I'm not so sure about the sub route anyway.  It would be more than a week before the first doc I could see could even get me in and at that point, what's the point.  The pills are gone.  I'm 36 hours into it or so and I'm not dead yet.

I even managed to go to the pool with the kids today after the soccer game.  I with they had a hot tub, but no luck there.  Mood has been pretty good...

When I cut from 30mg to 15mg, the withdrawal was pretty rough.  Pain was pretty intense.  I know I'm not out of the woods, but what's the chance that by forcing myself down the ultra fast taper route that I made it not as bad now?

Don't get me wrong...  I don't feel like I could run a marathon but I'm surviving and at this rate, that's all I can hope for.

Matt

[ginsa]

Matt,

I don't understand what Doctors are hoping to accomplish with tapering patients off opiates. I'm going to have a conversation with my Psychiatrist about this on Monday.  Seems like there is no way around acute withdrawl when you finally quit anyway. The worst wd symptoms for me were within the first 24 hours.  Hopefully you won't have it any worse than what you are feeling now. I'd just flush the pills and be have the first full day of detox over. Might as well just get on with it. JMHO.

[issa81]

I'm not too familiar with the suboxone, it was just one of the things they offered me in detox, and the information I was given by the detox staff was that it was an opiate blocker, I was not aware that it is an actual opiate, so I'm sorry if I gave bad advise :(  I should've researched it further before advising on it (my apologies)! It hurts to hear that it has caused you to have such a grueling recovery I hope it gets better for you. I agree about the prayer as well, pray and pray often, god works miracles I am proof of that, and all of you will be in my prayers tonight! Good Luck to all and I'm sorry again for giving misinformation on the suboxone, I was misinformed myself.

[guv338]

Welcome and good luck.  Before I take the Suboxone et al advise, I would do lots of reading on here.  I know the people who recommend it to you have good intensions, but
I've been down that road and am still on it for the last 96 days since last taking Suboxone and it is a long, long and bumpy road. It may be the path you choose, but look before you leap.  By now you are a good ways into day 2.  It will be very tough, but personally if I had it to do again, I would try to go without the Sub.  Just my experience with the Sub has been grueling. I would hate to see you prolong the process unnecessarily.  The Sub is an opiate, many times stronger than the ones you were on.  So its not getting clean, its just changing your drawers, so to speak. Once you stop the Subs you'll be right back where you are now. Pray now, Pray often and you will receive the guidance you are needing.  Guv.

[issa81]

I wanted to let you know that you are doing the right thing (flush them)! I dealt with my addiction to narcotic pain killers for too long and it seemed like it was hopeless, but I want to let you know that it is not! There is so much help available to anyone who really needs it. I know that someone suggested in a comment posted earlier to try a detox facility, and I couldn't agree with them more. I went to one myself for my addiction to pain killers and it helped me out a lot with the withdrawals. I was told by the staff at the detox facility I went to that it is unsafe to detox "cold turkey" on your own due to seizures, so they gave me several options. I think one of the medications was called subutex, another was suboxone (these 2 are both opiate blockers), and the third option was a combination of Librium (a benzodiazepine) and clonidine (blood pressure medicine). The first 2 are both opiate blockers which I think kind of trick the brain into thinking you're on opiates and causes you not to have the feelings of withdrawals, the nausea, vomiting, feeling of crawling out of your skin, etc...then you taper off. I think one of them is used long term and the other you taper off of in about 2wks. I apologize but I'm not sure which one is used long term and which one isn't but I'm sure you can google them. Both of these medications are fairly expensive and I'm not too sure if they are covered by medical insurance because I did not have insurance at the time. The last option I was offered was the Librium and clonidine combination, this is the option I went with. The Librium is a benzodiazepine which helps out a lot with the crawling out of your skin feeling and makes the whole withdrawal process go smoother but you will still have the nausea feeling and vomiting but it's nowhere near as bad as doing it cold turkey (in my opinion). I think the clonidine was given to keep my blood pressure from going all out of whack but I'm not real sure about this one sorry! I think if this is your 1st time coming off of narcotic medication you should be under a doctors care that way it is done safely, if you can't go into a residential detox treatment center I would suggest talking with your primary care physician. I am almost positive all of these types of medications can be safely prescribed by your P.C.P. I would also advise joining a Narcotics Anonymous group, or if you are a christian join a church that you are comfortable in and get involved!! Once the physical addiction is gone you will need to start addressing the mental part of the addiction (God has helped me through this one). I am sorry that I wrote a novel, but I just wanted to give you as much information as I can because it really did save my life. Well I hope this helps you out! Good luck and God Bless!

[kim715]

Congrats my friend for making it thru that game,not an easy task I'm sure.I agree with the above posters.You're already 24 hours into it,flush them and just keep pushing forward.I know flushing pills is hard as he!! at first but watching them swirl around and disappear can be so empowering.You're ready,no more teetering on that fence.Get rid of them,get through this,time to get on with things.Your wonderful pill free life awaits you.All the best...Kim

[C8H10N4O2]

So here's the update.  I called my psychiatrist before the game and he told me that he still thought I was doing the right thing, but suggested that I taper for 4 more days at 5 mg a day.  He has a lot of concern right now because of the speed that I decided to taper at.  I went from 60mg to 30mg for a week and then to 15mg for a week.  I have 20mg left.

I still haven't decided what to do, but I did go and coach a soccer game with nothing more than B-Complex and Immodium in my body.  It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but I did it.  I also promised the kids that we would go swimming this afternoon, so at least I'm staying moving.

So...  I'm still on the precipice and I'm going to jump.  I'm never going to fill another prescription.  I'm clearer headed than I have been in a long time.  This is what I want and this is what is best for me and my family.

More to come, I'm sure...

Matt

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Flush them and take care of the withdrawals head on. Use the down time that you have from withdrawing to study and learn as much about addiction as you can. Good luck to you......many others have done this so you that it is doable.....

[DrugFreeHedonism]

If you are truly committed to starting on the path to being off these pills then the best thing you can do is just flush them.  When you're high you always tell yourself "I can't live like this anymore.  I need to stop now!".  You convince yourself, while high, that you're going to quit but when tomorrow comes and you're sober, you rationalize "just one more" and start the cycle all over again.  You have a support system which is one of the most important parts of becoming clean aside from your own desire and will to have a better life without pills.  However, the only way you are going to get and stay clean is your own will and desire.  NA, AA, Family, etc can only act as a support group but when you rest your head down on your pillow at night you are ultimately responsible for your actions.

You mentioned you have kids, right?  What better motivation to stay clean than to set a positive example for your kids?  Eventually they will figure out what's going on and I'm sure you don't want your kids to think their father is a junkie...

Honestly, I would suggest checking into a detox facility for a few days to help you over the hump.  If you have insurance this will likely not cost you anything and is THE BEST option for detoxing and drug education.

Keep us informed of how you choose to proceed!

[LADYDI4185]

If your last dose was 24 hrs ago then you have begun the detox process.  Don't take that last pill it will only prolong (maybe even just a little bit) the inevitable.  You sound like you are ready to be done with this madness, make today the beginning.  Look to the future, now you are on your way to one day closer being clean. There is a lot of support here and I am always on if you need to talk.  Stay strong, start your new life today!!!!