what the crap is going on?

[Katrina81]

Hey guys. 23 days for me today. I generally try to stay positive and not burden yall with my issues but im really struggling these last days. I am frustrated. Im working the heck out of aftercare. Therapy everyday and meetings every night. Why all of the sudden have I hit a low? Ive been pro active by surrounding myself with support. Starting anti depressants months before I jumped. And very active in my own recovery. I know it takes time but the lows Im feeling actually have me angry cuz I am trying so hard! Idk i guess i just need some reassurance tonite guys. I am sorry for throwing my own insecurities at yall. I know we are all struggling and mine is no greater or less than yours. Just a shoulder is needed tonite. Thanks guys

[gnarly_1]

HI Katrina.....sounds like you got a couple of bad days in a row....it happens especially early on in recovery you just got to push past it and look at it like this if you dident have some down time you wouldn't appreciate those good days cant have one without the other
just remember attitude is everything will doing this your working your aftercare your doing everything you can to get well....are you on the protein drinks yet??? its only 15 buck at walmart for a 2 lb can its loaded with vitamins essential amino acids along with the protein all of witch the brain needs to heal the chocolate flavor is good you just mix it with milk
if not that look up the amino acid protacal on the lower right of the screen you can just buy the supplements but it more expensive then the drink ether way good nutrition is essential and 2 of those shkes a day will get you there give them a try....again this is not a qick fix but yet one more piece to the puzzle to getting well hang in there Girl better days are ahead good luck and God bless......Gnarly      

[swflafun]

Hey there Katrina - Bad day, huh? Yeah, I guess u kno ur going to have afew of these, but less and less and less of these? Remember days 3-5? I do. Bet you do too. :-( I always say tomorrow will be better than today. I can't always be right, you know ;-). Just take it easy. Remember how far YOU have come to get here. Now. Right this minute. Ill wait a sec if you want. (Jeopardy music). Ok? Now as bad as today may be, sure beats THAT huh? You are doing great, just wait and see how good tomorrow is going to be!
Gary

[mildred166]

wow Katrina..thanks so much for sharing that..i can so relate..i have been so numb and not felt anything in at least two years, maybe three...i was telling a friend earlier how i hate feeling..anything... sadness, worry, guilt, but i also haven't felt true joy, and am really looking foward to that again...

[mjax024]

i just passed 2 years around the holidays for pills...now im back to kick the booze. remember...when we were using we were numb....the fact that you're hurting inside is because you're feeling inside again, i cant speak for anyone else here but being left alone with my thoughts those first few days and weeks was scary....my best advice is to just keep talking.

[KirstenHere]

I'm only on day 8 so I'm no where close to you, but I can tell you this...I quit smoking for 6 months many years ago. About 2 months into it j started feeling like you are. I came to find out I was angry for 2 reasons. 1 was the same reason you are angry. I fought so hard to quit and had came over so many opticals and there I was, craving cigs 2 months later. The second reason I was mad is because I knew I could no longer smoke and I was mad about it...really mad. And I was even madder at the people that still smoked. Of course I ended up going back to it and honestly, smoking is bottom of my list now.

Not sure.this will help you. Just thought id share that with you. Im not angry about the pills yet...but I know it's coming.  

[j34]

that is okay,part of recovery is to start feeling ALL emotions , funny thing is i am 18 months clean and am feeling down as well lol, just for today.I know in my first month they told me that the booze or dope would recycle throught my organs and fat cells(it is stored there) and so what happens is a lots of emotions , I know for myself , that i had to share my feelings honestly,just like you are doing the most important part of recovery i believe is not caring the burden alone. One of my negatives is i want everything NOW and when i dont self defeating behaviours kick in , this has become less as time goes by  I now I  will go to the postive, at first i wrote and wrote about it .so a gratitude list was a great tool, hope this helps, you are not alone! Big hugs to you and congrats on staying clean today and facing life on its own terms ,,,a great big feat for any of us  j34

[Gpison]

So what has changed in tha last few days? Anything happen or outside influences that have effected you? You will have up and down days, but I know that you are aware of that already. The more time that passes, the fewer down days you will have, I promise! Just take some deep breaths, remember where you were 21 days ago and just how far you have actually come. I know that when I started to feel better, it just didnt seem to be enough for me and I had to constantly look back at my posts to relize just how bad it had gotten. Your body will start producing endorphines again. You are right at the time that that process starts to occur. Just hang in there and let your body catch up and heal itself.