I feel EVERYTHING

[tiffyb3233]

I just want to take a minute to applaud those who have and are successfully conquering addiction to suboxone. I almost had the habit kicked and when I told my dr. that I was down to a half every other day sometimes without days at a time-he told me that I shouldn't have tapered and to resume the regimen of 2 8mg films per day....this was the biggest mistake EVER...I am a counselor at a high school and have been off since Friday, which makes it 5 days...eating excederin and having bouts of crying and depression....I feel EVERYTHING-mentally and physically!!! I want off and I want to be free from what the suboxone helped me become free from!!!I am now just a slave to another medication...It makes me incredibly angry that a dr. would take this approach and now that I cancelled my appt. there's a waiting list to get back on...and the withdrawals will hopefully be over by then, so I am not going to go back, but it is so incredibly hard...I am going to leave this stinking addiction to God....and I pray that He will deliver me from this affliction and cause positivity and change in my body, mind and soul....I am confident that if I keep taking the excederin and sleep when I can and stay busy and PRAY to God to keep me going that this will subside....My husband is my biggest cheerleader and he is pumping positive thoughts through texts hourly....I am just so very angry that my dr. told me that I needed to "maintain" what he was giving me....and now I am just suffering....body aches....muscles are soooo jerky...dry cough....stomach upset..super irritable and snippy....Anyone know how to help these symptoms subside...and how much longer should I feel this way?? I went from 2 8mg a day down to 1 8 mg a day and then to a half and then ran out, didn't go to the refill appointmeny---only because the dr. is in 2 hrs on a friday and if I cannot make it then tough...I feel that it was NEVER about my walk to sobriety but all about the money....so many are trying to get off of opiates and the line is around the corner...My walk is just another # and that infuriates me. Drug screens have all been negative...therapy sessions have been consistent although they were every 2 weeks and 1 hr drive away plus the dr. appt once a month...and they expect us to work, have children and recover and have a life of freedom...and I also know that i am not the only one going through this BUT I know of no one who is struggling like me....just feel alone and SCARED to death...This stuff has such a hold on me now...I am so sad....I just PRAY that GOD delivers me from this temptation...Good luch and God bless you all!!!!

[otoh]

I am so sorry your going through hell... you need to get some supplies to help you through. this is a bit easier if you taper down .I'm on day 17 off subs. read the sub facts at the bottom of the page, the thomas recipie.The depression can drag you down, so just know that it will lift ,,,after day 8   started on my way out. post when you can. these folks were my lifeline.

[Brockgirl31]

I am going through the same thing; I have been on subs for almost 3 yrs. and I have been taking 2mg every day for about a year. I took my last piece this morning and when I called my pharmacy to get my last 11 pills, they told me the script expired yesterday. So, now that I have exhausted all other options, I am forced to go cold-turkey from this point. I was addicted to OxyContin and basically all pain killers before going to a Sub clinic. I have been praying for this to be as quick and easy as possible, but I am so scared of keeping up with my kids and going to school full time while going through withdrawals. I have read so many stories online about how awful withdrawals can be and also that it is long-lasting. My dr. Told me to stay on Subs, comparing it to a diabetic having to take insulin. He asked why I would want to stop! Driving 3 hrs. E Rey two weeks to stay on Subs and going to counseling every week and fighting with insurance companies and getting a **** test twice a month is not practical for someone who has responsibilities! My husband takes OxyContin and Roxycodone for his back so as I am writing this and worrying about withdrawals, there are about 180 pain killers in the same room with me! Wish me luck and good luck to you also!

[tiffyb3233]

THANK YOU ALL>....I have my eyes fixed to the sky and am just trying to get through the busy day...that actually helps....so.....prayers for my lifted spirit and healed body would be greatly appreciated, as I will be praying for everyone here and who hasn't made it yet...we ALL have a LOOOONG road ahead of us....Best wishes...and blessings to you all...

[mmissy42]

Wow!  I can't believe that a doctor would want you to stay on Suboxone!  That's almost as bad as my prior doctor giving me 180 pills of ES Vicodin at my request.  Currently I have a wonderful Suboxone doctor who is encouraging me to taper.  I guess I should feel lucky!  Good luck to you, I hope you can be free of your Suboxone soon!

Missy

[Crazy_in_the_head]

I would strongly suggest you don't do this at work, unless you are on your personal pc. Everything can be pulled from the server.

[Dane74]

What amount of sub are you are on now?  It seems to me that you came down fast.  I completely agree, especially with sub, its a money maker!!!!!  It takes some time for the sub to leave your system, but i promise you it does get better:)  Your not alone here, there are tons of people on here to help:)

[tiffyb3233]

I had to get off...school started...had a dr. appointment 1 hr away...would have to have taken a half day off from work....so they just bumped me off as soon as i called...i am an hour away...he sees patients on a friday only from 12-2  bottom line.....so I pretty much Had no choice...as much as I wanted to go through this...I just cannot afford to take off 1/2 day per month...

[tiffyb3233]

WOW...I am praying for you...As I sit at my computer at work, you have made me tear up....YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! The doctors are just as guilty as anyone on the street and then once you try to get help...it is so far away that we resort to things that make zero sense...and are against every part of our being!!! I am very blessed to have my husband on my side...but he is the only one who knows what I am actually going thru...I pray that you find comfort and peace in your mind and body and stay strong enough to kick this!!!May you be given the gift...My addiction before suboxone was insane to say it nicely..I was taking 5  lortab 10mg every 4 hrs   every day...God granted me to be free from that but now here I am ....again....it is just so truly frustrating.....I know that opiates have been made to help in times of pain, but almost wish that they would go away forever....The Devil has his hold on so many...so many blinded and not strong enough to quit...it is so sad...I pray for all the addicts...no one wants to feel this way....I dont care who they are.....no one wants to hurt mentally and physically, feeling hopeless and SCARED....

[vicki595]

Hi there-   I hope this works out for. What did you jump off at? 4mgs? That's still considered a good amount of Suboxone. Do you think you could get lower?  The wd's might be a bear!

Stay close!

[Crazy_in_the_head]

Thanks so much for posting.  I learned a lot from reading what you just shared.  I am so glad that I did not go the Suboxone route. I tapered (not slowly enough) and then went cold turkey when I got to 5 mg (hydro.) Today is my second day clean, and I am so proud of myself.  Yes, I feel just as you do...like **** physically.  My body aches, I am coughing, sweating, nauseous, and I have a migraine to boot!
I have come to the conclusion that doctors are drug pushers - especially if we do not "look" like their perception of a drug addict.  I would not be where I am if doctors did not write scripts so freely.
Please hang on. We will do this together.  We are not alone.  You are so lucky to have your husband.  My husband is no support, he's an emotional mess himself, and made it clear that I can not look to him for any emotional support. Once I have a good amount of sobriety, I will decide whether or not to divorce him.
I HAVE to believe the best is yet to come.