I am back the new relapse queen

[dedicatedtostop]

Not gonna go into detail so of you may know me. Ii was clean for over a year and all it took was 1 time. Well here I am a year later worse off than ever. With that said I woke up one day an realized how bad I was screwing my life up, affecting my family and etc. Not to mention the fact that I am lucky I am not in jail. So I took the plunge and dove in again. I am at the end of day 2 and all has been pretty much as expected.
The difference this time... I told everyone. My whole family. My family, well I like to say thick as Theives. With that said I am FORCING my self to eat and FORCING exercise. You get out of it what you put in right?!! I have 2 little girls and a family that is my world and I know if it don't stop I will die. Crazy thing is I wasn't raised this way and I know better. I have everything in the world yet I have nothing:(... What I do feel right now is no more guilt and no more feeling like I am living a lie. But man it sure does suck. I am fighting for my life here. Anyways, I am going in with a different approach and really just wanted to get back established here. The time I quit for a year I swear I could not have done it without this forum... Just looking for more support

[dedicatedtostop]

Oh I am sorry, most wouldn't reccomed it but I would say to take a benzo.... Short term.... Only as needed!!! It will take the edge off but you have to start coming off of it as soon as your wd's subside otherwise your taking a chance of becoming addicted to something else.
Exercise will get that anxiety out as well even if you have to force it. Hang in there, you can do this!!!

[imogean]

I only made it 20 hours and was in such pain I believed it would kill me. I must find a new approach. Cold turkey is not going to work. Any idea's of meds that would help not hinder the process. I was so anxiety filled I was crawling out of my skin.

[dedicatedtostop]

Sadly yes

[imogean]

I have been clean off meth for the past decade. I was as bad as it gets on that drug, 90lbs soaking wet and 5'9. I was not that pretty. I just got over bladder cancer, found out I have an incurable thyroid disorder and am bloody addicted to my pain pills. And, a bit of valium on top of that. I have been to rehab. Hell, I have worked at rehabs. Now here I am as unsuspecting as any retard may have been about opiates, not my drug of choice BTW. It is the physical withdrawl that is killing me, I have watched this but never kicked the opiate demon. Meth was just sleeping and eating for about a week, no real physical pain involved. Well, this is different, very painful. I take about 300 pills a month of norco, and 60 valium which are gone in the last week of every month. That week is over with. Now I can start the real pain. I have 15 hours and a **** load of pain left in store. How exactly am I going to pull this off, I have no clue. Raw determination I guess. I have about 10 norco in my possesion. I know it is unconvetional beating Satan with His demon in your hand, but somehow it is giving me solice right now. I have no reservations. I got "hooked" unsuspectingly. I just did not believe it possible that "I" could ever be so addlbrained as to actually develope a physical addiction. I used the drug for the right reasons. I guess I am human, I refuse to berate myself further, as I know that in order for me to really quit and it work, I must be real, honesty must be of the highest importance right now. Never doubt the power of any drug that is what I have learned. I am here for help. An invisable ear to listen to me. Someone who relates. I do not want to die and anyone who takes these many pills a month is in danger. I must overcome this. Together "we" can!

[0421]

are you the one and the same as the lady waiting for april 15 tax deadline???  

[confusedkitty]

Im willing to wait as long as it takes much and all as i want to be there for him through this if thats what he needs then im ok with it, just have to keep hopeing  i get him back!
Thank you so much for your help and advise youve no idea how much i truely appriciate it thank you so much and i wish you all the best with your own detox i think anyone brave enough to try reclaim there lives back from any addiction are incredibly brave and your showing your two children how strong you are! All the best and thank you once again ..