on the verge....

[a$hamed-no-more]

of taking a pill! it's been 8 days that i've been clean and these past 2 i have had HORRIBLE cravings! i took a pill and am on the verge of taking it......please remind me of why i don't want to......

[bettie1976]

if YOU know you can do it without them, dont fill the script! my best advice to you.

[angel47630]

I too am concerned with these evil Norco's being in my house.   I do have legit pain as well, been prescribed pain meds through a dentist/pm specialist.      He does not think I can do this with no pain meds, but I know I can't do it with pain meds.

How do you keep them around or as he suggested, use them again if you have legit pain?  

I hate these things.    They have taken over my life for now and they are on their way out...............

I hate the shakey, twitchy, achy nights, but it seems like in the am things look better.

I have gotten from 20 a day to 7 and I got for 9 hours in a row with nothing at night.  It is a HUGE step!   I know clean is the best but I gotta tell you that drastic reduction is amazing in how clear I feel in the head already and how much I feel myself coming back.      It feels good somehow to know that twitch, ache, pain is all for a good purpose and is actually leading to a healthier you.   That is the way I have to look at it, that this awful feeling is because I am on my way to health, both mentally and physically.

I love the stories here, you all are so helpful and SO supportive.   I have read, reread and just taken it all in and it has given me the power to know this is not some unbeatable problem!

Thanks to all,
K

[angel47630]

If I can, let me just say don't do it from experience.    I had detoxed 3 days back in May, and here I am just n ow doing it for real.   That " it's just one" is what got me here 5 months later.   Just think where I could be if I had stuck with it back in May???   I kick myself every single day.

It's not just one, it will never be just one................it is a new start to an old addiction.

Best wishes,
Karen

[a$hamed-no-more]

he does keep them hidden - in fact, he picks them up from the pharmacy and takes it straight to work! its just that on his days off he will bring 1 or 2 home to get him through the days and he HIDES them from me - but i always find them! isn't that terrible!!!!

[marcatj]

can you ask your partners to keep them hidden from you?  so there's no way in heck you'd have access?

would that make it easier?

[marcatj]

can you ask your partners to keep them hidden from you?  so there's no way in heck you'd have access?

would that make it easier?

[exhostage]

You go girl.

[bettie1976]

well, that certainly IS a problem. But its mind control. Youve just got to be strong. Or get a divorce j/k. You poor thing. I feel so bad for you with all that going on and them being in the house is definitely a temptation. BE STRONG

[a$hamed-no-more]

ok guys - i still haven't taken it and i'm doing something good for me - I'M GOING TO THE GYM! getting those natural endorphines so i can come home and feel good enough to just flush it down the toilet :) wish me luck with it all.......gonna kick some a$$ at kickboxing (i always visualize me punching a pill - isn't that weird)

[PromisedLand]

It will certainly be a test.   But, she's had Oxy's in the house the last few days as well...(legitimately prescribed)  and likely will for sometime to come

[a$hamed-no-more]

that's the problem i have - they will ALWAYS be in my home b/c my husband is prescribed them every month *sigh*

[bettie1976]

yea me too. i cant have them in the house at all

[WeeR138]

wow that would be impossible for me

[PromisedLand]

day 3 for me and I've got cravings...in a few hours my wife will stroll thru the door
with a script from her dentist. No freakin way will I even look at 'em


bg

[a$hamed-no-more]

ok - thanks guys. i still haven't taken the pill....but the urge is getting stronger and stronger! i will call some people who were there for me the first few days b/c they saw how crappy it was for me......it's weird cuz i read all of your comments and instead of agreeing whole-heartedly i keep saying to myself "it's just one" - "just to get through the day". it's like, I KNOW i will hate myself for doing it, but it's just ONE....:( that's the feeling i can't get over......normally i'm more rational than this.....*sigh* i hate this you guys.....

[road2recovery]

Please don't...i am almost on the same day as you and the cravings are terrible...BUT please keep reminding yourself what we went through to get to this day...
if yo need to keep posting then do, if there is a meeting near you go..
It will do nothing for you except quilt...
You can do this
r2r

[bettie1976]

were all here to support you gurl! just think of the pain and misery youre gonna go thru if you take that pill. Are you on any anxiety meds? anti-depressants? anything else youre on to help? clonidine? vistaril? benzos? those will help if you can get to an er quick.

[wait2long]

dont do it hun...as many times as we have all been in this same predicament and failed, just listen and remember where you were 7 days ago, think of how horrible you felt..do you really want to go back there only to do it again?   you are just about to come out on the other side of this dont ruin it for yourself....

[bettie1976]

do you wanna be right back at where you started? remember the way you felt going thru withdrawls. think of how great sobriety can be when you reach it. Call someone. Hell you can call me if you want to. Email me or whatever. Im here for you cuz I know where youre at.

[WeeR138]

remember the nightmare that was your life while using. I know it's weird that when your using you hate it and want nothing more than to stop, and then when you are clean you suddenly forget all the horrible stuff. i know it's tough, but just try to remember the bad stuff. it's hard for me too. But as they say. A bad day clean is better then a good day using (or something like that)

[exhostage]

I have been having them too, tell that demon I KNOW WHO YOU ARE and you cant own me!!! just keep talking to us....

[serenityandgrace]

go read my poem thats why u dont wanna take it