alcohol vicodin addiction

[savingourmarriage]

Our marriage of 25+ years was over last Sunday until my husband made the decision to come clean about his last few years of substance abuse.  When he was faced with me leaving our marriage last year because I could not believe anymore lies.  I thought it was meth because of past problems but  he ran to his truck and pulled out a bottle of Vicodin.  He said these were the problem and that he would stop taking them because he loves me so much and did'nt want to lose our life together.  It was shocking and scary, but I was also relieved and happy-(understatement) that we could now be together after all the years of feeing blocked out of his life without understanding.  I asked to be put on his medical records and was shocked and relieved (because it made our past make sense even though it was not great) to see how many pills he had been taking.  Not knowing anything about addiction I believed him when he said he did not need or want any of the pills that I had has saved incase he needed them for pain (bad knee, back and shoulder).  Bcause I thought that we were now a team he would surely tell me.  But things still did'nt change.  I still looked at him and asked are you okay?  I was confused, obviously!  He told me he was tired or he had a couple beers.  I knew that alcohol had always been an issue for him.  I have a glass or two of wine maybe 3-4 days a week.  He always accussed me of watching him or keeping track.  I really did'nt because I believed or maybe not believed but accepted without further fighting and/or exploring what or why he looked different.  Sorry for running amuck, to make a long story short, he never did stop but always controlled his pace of Vicodin but says that he is maybe an alcoholic (he does not like that word).  I have not readon any of these forums about people drinking heavily while taking Vicodin. Helpful info would be appreciated!

[savingourmarriage]

My husband is making a great heartfelt start.  He has been off the vic for 1 week and beer for 5 days.  He is not sleeping well but does sleep maybe 4-5 hours.  Other than that we talk about all of his fears of the (ENTITY) as he calls it. That is evidently the HIGH and the SECURITY he gets from the combination of beer and vicodin. He has not been able to explain what exactly he gets from it, I am sure he does not know himself.  I have read the clinical side of euphoria, calm etc...  From what he tells me, he had a pettern of calling in a prescription of 30 pills that would last about 1 week.  He would usually pace them every 3 hours starting at 6am when he got up and stopping sometime early evening when he started drinking beer (maybe 3-4 beers).   Weekends, starting on Friday nights were his trigger to start drinking more heavily while using vic.  Our whole married life the kids and myself made allowances for him because he said he worked hard and just needed to relax.  We did so much stuff without him to save on the fighting that it would take to get him to go. He was always at home or taking beer bottles back to get music, or taking the recycling in or stopping at Home Depot to get something to start a small project, but always by himself, he never wanted company.  He was on the couch alot.   Anyway, his pattern of getting pills would be to call his dr in 2-3 weeks complaining of more back pain etc....He had a pattern of stopping and starting that he has evidently gotten used to?  He had surgery this summer and was given Percocet.  I asked him after his surgery how many pers he was taking and he told me all the right answers.  He told me a story just like it should have been done but in reality he was back getting more from the pharmacy until that prescription ran out than back to the vic.  Now he tells me the percocet was very hard!  Anyway, he has always had his same job for 20 years.  They love him there.  He is respected even if he does complain a little more than the average guy about various things, but everyone brushes it off as not serious and almost funny. Because life went on somewhat normal and I never had or wanted to see proof our marriage and family life sunk lower.  He would not do anything without a fight, and we asked very, very little.  So here we are!  Anyway, I am surprized at how he has stopped vic and started all of these years and I just want to help him through these devastating times.  I have been with him solely since he made the decision to stop.  I filled the house with every snack & drink that I could think of.  We did not eat out because he thinks that he wants to have a beer or two when we eat out.  We fished Sat morn.  We went out to breakfast Sun morn and took a long wonderful walk along the river.  We have talked in great detail about his feelings and mine (many tears).  So we are trying to go through this but I know we need more help (Counceling). It is not easy to find someone to talk to privately.  We tried one nice man that we both felt is not very experienced in addictions.  How do you fine a councelor to help if you want to do it on your own.  Thanks for all your replys!

[notmenow!]

I agree with what everybody has told you about this addiction to opiates. However there are other drugs that will break the vicious cycle he is on. You have to understand he is not taking these drugs to get high, he may be in the stage of addiction that he's taking them just to feel normal and function on a day to day basis. What ever you do don't call his Dr. and tell him you think he may be addicted and is an alcoholic. As said in the above post many Dr.'s just don't understand or are in fear of not intervening and cutting him off not to help the patient but to protect the Dr's license. Try this website and order a starter kit and use the online tool to find a sub doctor in your area. Log on to www.suboxone.com and read the information on this drug. Print it out and show it to your husband. One last question does he run the scripts through insurance or does he pay cash. If he says he pays cash he may have other doctors he is seeing for vicodin as well. If so he has some real issues as this is a felony charge in most states should he get caught! ----NOAH

[Savas]

...I meant how much he's taking as well as what. You'd be surprised how many people who are just vicodin addicts tend to forget about the occassional "This or that" they take occassionally as well. Also; how healthy is he? Does he have any medical issues?

Keep in mind while none of us are doctors, we have a group experience that can be very helpful to someone new to this. At the very least, it can give you perspective.

[IBKleen]

Good Morning and Welcome To The Forum!

I surely don't envy your position. I imagine that it was painful to find out that he had been using pain meds behind your back, and apparently still is.

From what you said, he has a history of substance abuse. With that in mind, he will not be able to take the meds as prescribed for occasional pain. Telling you that he is going to hold on to them in case he has pain, is a lie. As an addict myself, I could not have them around me. Also, if he tells you that he thinks he may be an alcoholic, then he probably is. Alcohol is a drug.

I DO know many people who drink heavily while using/abusing pain meds.

I got the feeling from your post that you are not ready to throw in the towel yet.  
First, he has to admit to himself that he has a problem. Second, he has to WANT to get clean. From there he has to have a plan.

Has he ever been to an rehab center? Or a detox? If not, this may be the time to make that move. The rehab would be the most helpful for him to understand his addiction and understand the disease. He will also be given the tools he needs to get clean and stay clean. This is going to take a strong commitment on his part.

Like I said, I am not certain what your intensions are. If you would like to expand on that, please post and someone here can give you advise/suggestions with the options available for his situation, as well as yours.

Hope to hear from you.

[Savas]

If you husband thinks he can just stop taking them overnight he's wrong. If he's been taking this stuff for years, and you didn't see him go through a period of severe withdrawal..I'd guess he's still taking them. Which is actually not a bad thing for the moment, because saying "I'm going to stop!" and then stopping without preparing for doing so is like jumping on a live hand grenade to save your buddies.
Well meant, but for you, in the end, a VERY bad result!

Don't get me wrong, he COULD stop abruptly and probably wouldn't die. Most likely. But it does happen. It would make more sense for you two to get information on proper addiction reduction and aftercare. Don't bother with a doctor, do it here. Most doctors won't deal with addiction effectively for a variety of reasons.

The only real option you probably have is to do like a weekly 20% dose reduction until he's on a low dose. The get a clonidine or similar blood pressure medication and take that to alleviate symptoms. I hesitate to say more until I know more about what he's specifically taking. It might be a good idea to have him come on here in person, unless he can tell you honestly how much he's taking. (catch 22, if he's lying, he won't exactly tell you!)
If he does, have him send me a private message letting me know, but there's quite a few here who can tell him what he needs to know, so it isn't totally necessary.

[High Noon]

Vicodin+ Alcohol. I would have your husband go for blood tests, specifically for liver enzymes.
Both (the acetominophen in vicodin) are terribly detrimenatl to the liver.

It is wonderful that you are willing to support him, however he is an addict and needs to, wants to, quit.He needs to make that choice.

Good luck to you and your husband