Hey there young man LOL just read your post re: your bad day...are you open to some "Food for thought my friend"? first of all let me say that this bad day you are haveing may or may not be directly linked to addiction...OK...think about this...you used and abused for many years..you had a drug for every emotion right? I know I did, when I was sad I took a happy pill, frustrated i took a "nerve" pill...so after medicating ourselves over the years how do we know what we are really feeling? what I am trying to say is that you are HUMAN and we, all of us have our bad days...irritable (my husband doesn't believe in PMS LOL claims it is an excuse to *****) weepy, no energy etc,,,we, even normal people get that way but they don't reach for a drug to alter their mood the difference between them and us is they KNOW (or at least pretend to know)how to deal with their different emotions the normal natural way,,,we pick up a drug...getting clean and learning to live life on life's own terms...you are still very new at being clean and I do truly believe the 1st year is the hardest to deal with as we are faced with so many obstacles. We have to learn to do things all over again When I got clean I had to learn to be a nurse without using, clean my house without using,sleep without using and wake up without a drug to wake me up....I think you get the picture LOL after I got clean every little thing I did clean I was so damn proud of...and yes...Sex while being clean WOW anyway, I am straying from the subject (what's new LOL) be patient keep your faith, keep a journal everyday and write down your feeling that you have had or may be having at that moment...then look back and think about how you dealt with the emotion. WIZ, I want you to know that I am in now way shrugging off your feelings...I am merely saying that we are entitled to and do have bad hair days this is the normal human thing to do,,,,but ...if these bad days persist then maybe you should consider some outside professional help...just remember keep the faith and This too shall pass....Love to all cin
Hi Hon Hang in there, things are hard right now I knwo but this too shall pass,,I did get your email for some reason I was unable to open my email it's ok now and i will srite you back as soon as I get home from work you are on my mind strongly yesterday and today....I'm here for you and you know that Love to all cin
Hey, Wiz to Dorothy, oops I mean Cindy LOL Thanks for the food for thought. I'm now back over the rainbow thank you very much.
:-) Really, your words I've taken to heart and they make perfect sense to me. What the hell, I AM entitled to have a bad one right? heee heee.Okay I feel better now. You are very right about all the years of a pill for everything. It feels so strange to change so very much of how I lived my life. But then was it really living? No, I think it was just existing...now I'm living. How did it go? I'll face piles of trials with smiles! Yea that's it. Again Lady, thanks for the smile :-)
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I'm clicking my shoes 3 times and whispering : There's no place like the forum, there's no place like the forum...........LOL
Love to ya Cin,
I was hurting pretty bad and decided to get up and read some threads on the forum. I read yours Wizard and wanted to tell you I pray for you and everyone daily,nightly and whenever I think of of all you. I can't say anything more than Angelica and Cindi. I know I haven't been where yall have but I struggle with pain so much and I go from being very high on life to being very low. I go through periods of being very sick and then spells where I'm feeling well except for the pain. But like you,I now know a place I can go and talk to people who really care and most know where I'm coming from. Somedays,I get terribly depressed but God always sends me a bright spot to show me He's here to help me and He understands. Today I was having a bad day but after reading the threads I remembered,we all have bad days. But I can always come here and I know there is someone who cares. I'm thankful I met you all here. I know your going to be alright Wizard. Your only human and I know you and Cindi and Angelica and myself and others, all have a mutual friend. He will help us when we're weak. It's so nice to hear you speak of your faith. He truly is our hope.Sounds like your already feeling better. Cindi and Angelica are truly good friends. Your all in my prayers.
Your post was awesome as usual......you been through it all, and therefore, can relate, and reciprocate......like no other!!!!
Kerri.......Hange in there my fellow chronic painer!!! I am doing much better....and I actually take less medication than prescribed.......thanks to my faith, and My Lord. But the road ahead will be a rocky one, esp. now that I have to find a new doctor. I won't give up, because my kids are young, and I am still young...I'm just not ready to crawl up and die...or withdraw as my husband puts it. LOL
Wiz: Your post was so cute in reference to the wizard of Oz. LOL yall are just too much......what a way to start the day!
HEy Wiz, sorry I didn't get to answear you sooner, I've been having a rough time my damnself! I am sorry, but not surprised to hear of your bad day. Post accute withdrawal is a part of recovey and can come on without warning. Just stay strong man.It help me if I could just take a Time out from everything! just sleep as much as you possibley can day and night and try not to fixate on that f****** drug! I used agan for about seven day's Wiz and then abruptly quit. I was so afaraid of goiing through withdrawals agaain but it was'nt so bad. Thank God, I may be O.K. I fully intend to get rid of this **** from my life. Keep focused my friend, you don't want to do this all again! IT WILL PASS< IT WILL GET BETTER< YOU WILL SUCCEED! I'll say a prayer for you.and please do the sme for me. You"ll be alright! Keep posting Wiz. Your helping a lot of people on this forome Shane
This is my first post. I am a nurse who was addicted to Ativan and Ambien. I couldn't get enough sleep. I worked night shift for way to long. My story is a long one i will give the condensed version. I ran out of Ativan and substitued with Haldol which is a psychatropic med. I had a rare reaction to the Haldol called Neuroleptic Malginant Syndrome I came very close to dying. I went from the ICU to detox to home. They weaned me off the benzo with Clonezapam for 5 days. I am know
without any medications for 7 days I feel horrible. I am nauseated I lost 15 pounds in a week. My head is spinning and I have so much anxiety i can't hardly even leave the house or drive.
I need any help you can give me. WHAT HELPS !!! I want to feel normal again. I have already read that B6 and L-tyrosine work
but what is the exact dose. ( I am scared to take anything after my near death experience.)
Also is there any other nurses on this board it is nice to know you are not alone..
I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. My father and his
3 brothers were all alcoholics and died from it. My mother was
addicted to prescription drugs. So, I guess it was my fate to
become addicted to anything I used.
For the past 15 years, I have been taking 25 to 30 Darvon,
or Darvocett. I also took Vicodin or any other opiate I could
get. I used a number of doctors and many pharmacies to get what
I needed. I went cold turkey 5 weeks ago, and the first 2 weeks
were hell! I hurt so bad I thought about suicide to end the pain.
But, I am still here. Unfortunately, after 5 weeks, I still feel
very sick. I am retired so I can take naps and work on the
computer searching for jobs. I retired early at 55 just so I
could get off the drugs. My life as an addict and alcoholic has
been a nightmare, so I will continue to stay clean with Gods help. I don't want to go back there again. The thing that really
bothers me is how much longer will I be sick? I need to go back
to work, but I don't think I could function the way I feel.
Is there anyone out there that has similar experience?
Funny about that mutual friend of ours and how He works in mysterious ways. I said i a previous post He had BIG ASS ARMS to carry us all in our stumbling times and I meant it. no matter what happens to me here I refuse to lose my faith and to me THAT IS DIVINE PROVIDENCE. I thank you so much for your prayers and support. You also with everyone here are in my daily prayers too. Hang on to the LIGHT! :-)
Angelica, you are always there also bringing smiles when there are needed along with pointing out HOPE when dispair wants to creep in. You can call me the "CUTE Wizard " anytime ;-* I really got a chuckle starting my day today! God Bless you luv!
congrats on your accomplishments!
Shane, Dude! It only matters that you DID respond! Not how long it took. With all the brothers and sisters we have here, someone is always an angel to us. It was re-reading your post on relapse that started me writing yesterday. That post and the support of all of you got me through the darkness that has since cleard. For that I thank you Brother. WE WILL STAY STRONG together dude!You and I and the others. It Will Get Better! It already has. We can fight it together Shane...Promise. Power& Magick 2U,all,Wiz
you and I share a common experience which I'd be willing to discuss with you. However, I'm not posting directly on the forum anymore, so, if you're interested, send me an e-mail to:
This is of course only if you're interested. A number of other posters have recently succeeded in convincing me that my idea of helping another is outmoded and been replaced by something I don't care to know anything about. I'm only posting this message because your drug of choice is darvon and I might be able to relate where many others won't. I'm not sure if this is even a good idea, after the reception my efforts got this morning. If you respond, fine. If you don't care to, might I suggest contacting another poster named maximus. He is apparently far wiser and more perceptive than I am and no doubt can provide a superior form of help.
Hi I am to trying to get of oxycontin. How fast should I wean myself, has to be fast cuz i think I will be around 4 days short this month. Should i start the L-tyrosine and B-6 now while still taking the oxys? I hate this. The only problem is that I do have a bad back injury and I am in major pain. I am suppose to take 4 80mgs a day but somedays I take 6 so that is why I am short this month cuz I do have bad days, But i do want to wean myself off these and take something not so addictive or just deal with the pain some how. I am so scared of the withdrawls. I know how they feel even when I take 4 a day i feel like **** but I am going to try and would appreciate you all to pray for me I will need it. Thanks and could anyone tell me what else is good for the w/d pain. I have xanax i take occasionally to sleep should I take those during the day?
Hi, you sound just like me! I think I can encourage you or at least let you know what my experience was like getting off oxy. I too am a chronic pain patient. I was taking oxy and vicodin and running short each month. I decided that the only way to determine my true level of pain was to get honest with the myself and the meds I was taking each day. I stopped the oxy over 2 weeks ago and it wasn't fun, but I did it! The withdrawal wasn't as bad as I thought even though I did have a couple of rough days. I am now (as per my doctor) taking 3-4 vicodin 5's a day. I am hoping I can stick to this routine because after stopping the oxycontin and going with nothing for a couple of weeks the small amount of vicodin is actually doing it's job!
Us chronic pain peoples are really put in a tough spot. We are put on the hamster wheel from hell when we start the cycle of wanting pain relief and the lure of the only type of drug that brings that relief!
I wish you all the luck and prayers in the world. Please keep reading and posting here, these people can help you. They have been my salvation!
Thanks for answering so quick. I appreciate it. How did you wean yourself..And how bad were the withdrawls? What can I expect??Today I have only taken 2 80mgs and I am starting to feel ucking. I feel tired, hotflashes and just plain terrible already..How many oxys were you taking? I have been on them for 2 years so I'm wondering if it will be harder for me since I have been on them so long. I really want to do this. I will come here probably a couple times a day to see what everyone says and to get support. I want my life back from these mood swings and worrying if i am going to be out of pills. But let me tell ya my back is really hurting and it is so tempting to take a pill but I don't want to run out so soon. I will try to stretch the rest of mine out to my next appt but that will only be 2 pills for 4 days then only 1 pill for the next 4 days..I hope I can do this...It is so hard. Any idea on how to feel better? What did you do exactly to get off them. Sorry so many questions...but i'm just scared....thanks for your time....Hugs to all!!!
I'm so proud and happy for all of you here! You've all made it through the day, just like they said one day at a time. For those of you who are off the meds, WELL DONE! For those of you who want to be, you deserve a blessing, it takes courage to want to beat the drugs. To reach out, to ask for help shows more compassion, courage and strength than those who have never had to ask. It takes a very special human being to do these things, and everyone on this forum is an exceptional spirit. May God, or who ever your higher power may be, give you another day of peace......Good Night.....Love Susan Lea
My story is soo long and everyone here is probably sick to death with it, so I will tell you just a bit. I was taking Oxy's for 2 years, I am not an addict, and took less than I was supposed to, because my former boyfriend(Addict) would still them and anything else. What I found happened with me was, I would get bad back pain around the kidney area, when I didn't take them for a day, 2 or 3. If I took one the pain would go away. Strange, but the oxy's were causing the pain to be worse. I have fibromyalgia and a host of other spinal problems. Finally, I just stopped taking the oxy's all together, I threw them away because of his addiction. It took about a week and that weird Kidney area pain went away. I was still left with the pain I've always had. I ask the Dr. about this and he said that in some people oxy's can cause phantom pain? Beats me, I now use the patch instead, and Vicoprohen for breakthru, works for me.......Good Luck......Susan Lea
Hang in there! You are going to feel like sh*t but you will live through it, I promise!
I have been on constant narcotic meds for over 5 years. My level of oxy wasn't as high as yours, I was only on 30-40mg twice a day PLUS Vicodin ES for breakthrough pain- sometimes up to 8 or more a day. This is how I did it-
I too had some benzo (ativan) in the house and I saved them up for the withdrawal. I can't medically advise you as to how fast to wean- but I did it over the course of 4 days. Some would tell me- way too fast, but I knew I had to.
The first day with nothing but Ativan I felt nervous, jittery, had some diarrhea, I was very achy too and felt generally sick! It felt like a bad flu- it wiped me out. I used the Ativan to keep me semi- knocked out for the first 2 days just to avoid the worst of it and help me sleep.
Best thing I can tell you to do is go back and read through the posts by Spook, Wizard, Thomas and a few others - they have tried and true methods... I didn't do the Tyrosine (sp?) I am just generally leary of stuff like that... anyway...
Brand name Immodium- hot baths (I preferred showers and they worked as well for me) and lots of fluid! You MUST keep yourself hydrated because you will not want food. The hot-hot-hot water will help with the muscle spasms.
When you totally stop the worst will be over in about 3 to 4 days. I know it sounds like an eternity but if you can dole out your Valium carefully over those days it should get you through the worst of it. I found I only needed 2mg of Ativan twice a day for it to relieve most of the discomfort and help me nap during the day- and sleep at night. The last thing I wanted was to have to detox off benzos on top of the oxy! - SO I was *very* careful not to abuse my Ativan. Tough out as much as you can stand. (my own personal advice, others may disagree!)
I never got high off my meds- probably because I am a chronic pain patient, but I did start to run short each month and that was the catalyst for me to stop the oxy.
You have a rough couple of weeks ahead but stay here and post and read. Everyone will help you through this. Withdrawal may suck eggs but it won't kill you - I promise! After the worst passes you will still feel crappy, but force yourself to walk a little. The exercise will start kicking your brain in gear again! Wizard was encouraging me to eat- and when I finally started eating it really helped! Don't expect too much from yourself at all during the worst... and most of all - no internal beating up on yourself for ending up in this position! Try to stay focused on the here and now and getting through just today.
I'm sorry to say that, I only have a moment to post a comment this a.m. but, I read your comment and couldn't help but respond, even if there's some redundancy with what others have said. In a nutshell, I understand 100% where you are. I've been there, came back from it and am fighting it again but, stronger this time. You can tell what I mean if you have time to look at some of my other comments in the forum.
It's understandable that the 14 would give you a wonderful high, pain relief, etc. and personally, I consider Tylenol #3 to be weak because I've used so much more and, stronger pain medications. Now, when I say more though, I don't mean 14. I don't think I've ever swallowed more than 6 -7 at a time of Fiornal with codeine or 10mg hydrocone with 500 mg. of tylenol. But, like I said, I do think Tylenol 3 is somewhat weaker, in my OPINION. Obviously, you must have started off lower and built up this tolerance. But, Thomas is right, or whoever said it, how it in the heck do you go all day with that dosage and not take anymore throught the day? In one sense, I can see where perhaps you could actually cut back easier because you'd only be focusing on one time, during the day. I have to focus on cutting back all day long and night. It really sucks!! I just got the vitamins that were recommended that you've obviously read about by now. Have you tried them and have they worked yet, if so? Let me know. I'm just getting started on them, in conjunction with my tapering off the hydrocodone.
If you honestly don't won't to fill a script again, pat yourself on the back!!! That's the 1st step, in my opinion. That's fantastic. But, you will have to ease off. Unless, you go cold turkey and not knowing your physical condition, I wouldn't advise that in the best of circumstances. Can you ease off and since you are working with one large dose in the a.m., just start with 1 at a time or something like that along with the vitamin regimen?
Well, I need to get ready for work even though I'd much rather withdraw peacefully at home but, please feel free to write and comment back. Ask any questions you'd like. I'm in a 12 step program, have a sponsor, supportive (but, frustrated spouse) but as you can see, I'm still struggling. It doesn't ever leave. You have to work every day to remember the addictive process, I've found.
I'll be thinking good thoughts for you. Your approach with the meds is different so perhaps, your attempt in getting off won't be as bad. Good luck.
I'm a 49 yr old man who came down with Shingles (Face).
I'm having mega pain from the damage to the nerve.
The doctor has me taking Tyl # 4 6x per day...It's controls
the pain enough so I can work and live my life. However,
sometimes it hurts more. I have never taken more than 6 in
one day. I understand the difference between addiction and dependents. I took vicodien for 200 days before back
surgery and then about a week after... I just stoped taking the
medication (no one said anything about withdrawls) ...I had
some withdrawls for about 2 weeks and it took about 4 weeks
before I was feeling O.K.
They don't know how long this pain will last (anything from
no pain to pain for the rest of your life) My doctor sent me
to a pain clinic (I'm in an HMO) I'm not to happy with her,
She does not seem to care very much! My family is getting
fedup with me ...It's been 145 days now! we have done everything
for the pain...but the pain med and exercise are what works
best for me.
Anyway, last week someone took my pain medication from my desk
in my office...I think I know who it was, but what can I do?
Now I won't be able to get a refill for 7 days. So I'm having
some withdrawls. So far the withdrawls are not too bad , but the
nerve pain is someting eles!!!! Anyone who would take someone's
pain medication is a monster.
Hi everyone...well yesterday I took 2 oxys and felt awful not bad but not very darn good either. Today I took 4. That will be it for me today. It is so hard trying to wean yourself off these pills. But my back has been hurting so bad I can't stand it. I am trying very hard. Tomorrow I will take 2 and that's it but I'm sure I will be hurting. Now the L-tyrosine is it 4,000 mg every other day? And also I took two xanax yesterday and that seemed to help me also. Boy how hard this is. Honestly if My Doctor would of told me how addictive this medicine was I would of never started taking it. I have never crushed these pills or snorted them just taken a couple more a day then I am suppose to but boy did my body get addicted. I don't get high off them and basically never have. That is not why I take them. I take them for pain and also now to avoid the damn withdrawls I have. This sucks. I have two teenagers and I need to get off these monsters..Any advice I would appreciate it..Thanks.......
I can definately relate. Back in '94 I had the shingles (shh) yep.....I was sitting in someone's desk that had the chicken pocks....and then I was around an elderly person who had the shings!!! My immune system must of been really low due to an accicent sometime earlier. Well anyway.......I only took the pain medication for about 1 month.....then the pain was almost gone. Ya see, My doctor put me on this medication....some antiviral medication(cant recall the name?), and it cut the duration in half. Why don't you ask your doctor about it. I actually saw an ENT (eyes, ears, nose & Throat specialist)...this may be who you need to see. You shouldn't have a problem w/ a referral. You gotta stay on top of these people.......Make some calls. Have you ever called for a refill??? You may be able to do this, a few times. Are you sure, you don't have a problem w/ the medication??? DO you? I know from experience this problem(shingles) can resurface, even years later. I still get burning senstations on my face(7 yrs. later), and stabbing pain in my ear....from time to time. That can be w/ you for ever, but at some point it isn't chronic anymore. I have heard some horror stories, though. I had the kind that just affected my facial nerves, and ear......no bumps. Let me know how this turns out for you?
If your back problem cannot be solved by surgery, your pain is level 6 or higher, chronic in nature, and prevents you from proceeding in somewhat of a normal life, then addiction/dependance is a natural, normal side affect. I've just recently come to terms w/ that myself. What else can we do? At least you've found a doctor to treat your pain. I haven't been so lucky, and had NO choice, but to suffer for years. I've been on the oxys (20mg) for 3 weeks now, and I've gotten my life back....my husband said that I am a new person, and i was very withdrawn before. He had never confessed that to me in the past. My chronic pain condition was effecting my family, and I didn't even realize it.
I will never in any given day or period take more than I am supposed to, just my policy. Try tapering down. write your plan/schedule down. Give it a try. Your not taking as much as some people, but your headed that way. Can you live w/ the pain.....if so, ask your doctor to help you taper down. Just tell him that your doing better. There are States in this country, where people are actually turned away(in my case, before)and not treated, if there condition is really severe, because doctors do not want to treat them w/ these drugs; long term (DEA, I guess). I've called several doctors, not that long ago, and the nurse told me they werent taking new patients...AFTER I STATED MY CONDITION, and she said that she would ck w/ the doctor, and talk to him about my case, and get back in touch w/ me.....guess what????..Never heard from them again. Just re-evaluate your situation, and frame of mind....you'll know what to do. Best wishes.
ps.......what happend to your back, how many surgeries, and how many(if any) injections have you had???
Hi well I was in a car accident about 3 years ago. It was pretty bad. I have been to the best doctor in SanFrancisco one time. He said i needed surgery. I have had the injections in my back around 4 times. That didn't really help for that long. I also went to physical therapy.Then I went back to work, BIG MISTAKE..I reinjured it worse at work lifting someting to heavy. I really shouldn't of been working. But No I don't think I can live without the pain meds. If I can get myself down to taking like two 80mg a day I would be happier. I just have a hard time sticking to what I'm suppose to take becuase I have been on that same dose for 2 years. So I know my body does need more meds to feel better. But I guess for someone being on them 2 years and not abusing them that's pretty good. But soemdays I am just in to much pain and that is why I take more then I"m suppose to. My back injury is in L-5 S-1. Also, I have scoliosis which makes my back hurt also. I had to wear a brace in 8th grade for 2 years so the curvature didn't get any worse. But I am trying to taper down and am doing it. It just sucks becuase of the pain.
Just knowing that you both are in the same boat I am regarding the chronic pain makes me feel so not alone in this rocky boat. I too have come to terms (slowly and I am still coming to terms with it after many years) with dependency being a side-effect of the meds I need to function. I was able to ditch the oxy's and am now sticking to 4 regular vicodin a day. I know when my disease flares again (the nature of what I live with, on top of a messed up back) I may need more pain relief, but like you, Angelica, I also use the 0-10 scale to measure my pain.
Using the numbers - 10 being the worst - I decide what I can live with and aim for that level of relief. My doctor is wonderful and totally into pain management. After reading what so many people here go through with doctors not wanting to deal with people like us I feel very fortunate.
Jewells, how are you doing? Angelica- thank you for your posts here, I read everything you write because I can relate to what you say and it helps me put things in perspective.
Today I have taken 1 80mg oxy. I started feeling alittle bit liek **** again so I just took a xanax and think I will know nap since I am not so shakey now. But If I can make it with just that one oxy today that will be wonderfull. We will see.Thanks for checking in and getting back to me. i wish all of us here the best of luck and I do pray for all of us. I believe that god will come through and I think one day we will all conquer this problem. I know I won't get completely off the oxys because of my injury and pain amount but I will take the least amount possible ..take care......*SS* to all......
You know what I was just thinking??? Once we get the medicine, we tend to take it for granted(me?)at first. I wasn't watching what I was taking or when. I didn't even look at the clock. Then when My doctor said he was closing up shop....I said dam, I need to be more careful, and NOT take this medication for granted. It's almost like, you gotta have respect for it...And I know someone w/ an addiction,is probably saying oh yeah right!, but I am specificaly speaking of patients taking this medication w/ out any problems, but it tends to go unchecked even w/ me, at times. Now I brought my bottles in w/ me to my very last visit w/ him, and he stated that I clearly do not have a problem, because both bottles were still nearly full. Ya know if these doctors would do their jobs correctly, abusers can eventually be found out. This is why my doctor made us bring in the bottles. If a month supply was gone in two weeks, well I either sold my meds or took more than I was supposed to, in maybe chasing a high. So, you see there are ways for doctors to handle this situation, but $$$ and time is not given to the problem.
You both seem to be doing very well w/ your meds. You will have to understand, that once you decide to quit, or a new treatment comes out....withdrawals will be innevidable, but not that intense, because you have professionals treating you. Take my case for ex. I have been on 20mg of Oxycontin w/ Vicoden ES for breakthrough for 3 weeks, well low and behold, my doctor decides to go HOME/move! He has given me a months supply, but if this new doctor that I am seeing does not follow through w/ MY doctors treatment, guess what??? I will go through withdrawals, unless this new doctor helps me to taper. This is why I am very conservative w/ my meds right now.
I used to believe that if a person had withdrawals, they were an addict......I know better, now. I've taken the liberty to educate myself on chronic pain, and its treatments....I am considering moveing to a new state, or staying here, and fighting the war against prohibition of narcotic meds for chronic pain. I'm still undecided. My state is one of the worse, in the treatment of chronic pain, so just remember when you get angry at your doctors, because you are dependant on your meds, there are doctors out there, that won't treat pain pt's for that very reason. As Brighty once said, we are involuntary addicts....I have accepted that. Just keep a close watch on your schedules, and try not to take anything when your not in pain.....then when your pain is really bad take the medication. I do think 2 years is a long time, and tolerance has certainly built up. So you have one out of two choices: Taper down, so that this amount will work later, or talk to your doctor about upping the dosage. This is strictly my opinion.......and merely advice...This is what I do. Keep in touch....There are chronic pain websites out there, if your interested, i'll post them.
LUckily for you it has not interfered with your job....I gave up nursing on my own free will,,,,,rehab in 89 for demerol/and everything habit then in 95 stole some percocet and was slapped with 12 felonies,,Ohio does not take kindly to that....ended up with treatment in lieu of conviction and my license was on probation and of course i was not allowed to pass narcotics for 6 months or something,,,,the laws changed drastically from 89 to 95....There are support groups for impaired nurses...just a thought..good luck love to all cin
I am a nurse too.
I have been addicted to Heroin (snorting only)
vicodin, oxycontin, percocet, darvocet etc
Always manage to quit on my own for a month or so before things get too bad
It's been this way for years
The only time I was really in trouble was with the heroin, I was not far from needing rehab.
Withdraw sucks, but is more dangerous with your benzos, as you know
I take Xanax, but not alot,
I like Ambien, but don't take it much.
I have taken drugs since I was 16.
Has never interfered with my job.
Best of luck to you
I am trying the L-tyrosine and B-6
feel free to email me anytime
The problems came into being when I started diverting from the hospital, giving the patients substitute pain meds that were not even ordered for them such as taking their demerol and replacing it with stadol etc...using to the point where I was in a blackout...not remembering I was at work...this for me became very dangerous...I was way past the point of taking something to relieve my stress....I know plenty of nurses that take something to relieve their stress but do not have a "problem" per say...I got out before it killed me....and no, I never had any shame of being who I am....but...I was facing a lengthy prison term...not for me...not at the expense of my kids and husband...so, my drug use did interfere with my job,,it scares me to think that under the influence I could have made a grave mistake that could have cost someone a life I had no choice but to stop the problem,,,,many nurses do not feel they have a problem.and they may not... or they may...not for me to say...and the same one that felt he needed something to relieve his stress,,,was the one I found in the bathroom, respiratory arrest, Prn adapter hanging out of his arm...empty syringe.. ended up on a vent....alot of us cannot control our use...and then it does interfer...You are one of the lucky ones...good luck
Hi I am doing ok. I got my medication refilled and am taking only what i"m suppose to or less. I hate having to rely on this medicine but what else is there? I won't be in pain either. All this bad press oxycontin is getting is very scarey. I hope they don't take it away from the people who need it. Maybe they will come up with a new and improved oxy that people can't crush up or something. I just wish this medicine wasn't so addictive. It does suck. But it seems to be the only thing that works for me. Hope everyone is doing ok....My prayers are with all of you.
.....Wow cin! As I said before, you've been there and back again. Is there anything you haven't seen or experienced in this life of complexity? What A woman of experience, and knowledge, you are. I feel I can talk to you about anything...
I've had more than a little exposure to the hospital with my wife undergoing chemo. I have witnessed nurses taking patients pain meds first hand. The girl who changes the morphine cassette is but one example. All I can say is that it goes with the territory. I'm not going to flame anyone about this. You women deserve a lot better than you get in my opinion! Men, too. Let's just all be thankful for the wonderful job that your profession does. Yes, I have met some pretty awful nurses but......that's life. J.B.
LOL you crack me up,,,old worldly woman,,,that's me LOL... I suppose you could say I have been witness to a few events....and involved in several...alot of good and bad things have happened in my life....however,,,I can honestly say that everything that has happened I truly believe has happened for a reason...and one real reason is that I can learn and share my experiences with people,,,and even my strength when I feel I have it,,,and my hope and faith which thanks to people like you is becoming stronger again....and JB my friend...there is good and bad in all professions....and I like to think that in my 20 year career I have been mostly good.yeah I faltered,,,my disease had a very strong hold on me,,,,but I was stronger.....at least I like to believe that I was good in what I did for other people. I love people and I think that everyone who knows me on this forum knows that about me...Nursing is a very stressful profession....however it does take alot of concentration and undivided attention and that was something I was not able to do when I was using...my judgement was clouded,,,hell, I would fall into peoples beds at times from losing my balance...that was pathetic..no I am not proud of all of that..I am not proud that I stole peoples pain medication...I would kill if someone did that to me....but i try to find the good in that by saying that I did manage to at least give them something...which was also very dangerous...so that to was pathetic.. ..and my fear is that I am not strong enough bo be around all the narcotics....so at this time in my life my family is far too important for me to risk anything....thanks for your input...love to all cindi
God love her.....I love talking to retired nurses....i work with one at the center and we could sit and talk about it all day.....nothing like the nurses from the old school talk about wisdon and taking care of patients...the would just as soon get in there and give a bath then do all the paper work and bull **** that goes on now,,,alot of nurses think they have it bad now....technology has really helped I rememeber having to count the drops on a IV and dividing and all that other ****...now we have machines that do it all LOL love cin
Thankfully, I have never diverted drugs from a patient who needed them, have done some tricky things, but no one has ever suffered in my care.
The only problem I do have is that without a "little something" I have so little patience, all the screaming, crying, pounding......I lose all ability to deal with it. I admire so much those nurses who can deal with the demented so patiently. But we are so short staffed, this week, the DON is away, so I am DON, we are short aides, so we use LPN's, which means I pass meds, and I do charge. I am doing 3 person's jobs. I know I should start exercising, and getting healthy, but the meds work so easily. I can't always get them, and I know my work varies. So to me, my only problem is lack of drugs, ha ha. There is nothing good on my cart to borrow either, probably a good thing, ha ha. I have been reading Andrew Weil, I really think if I could do the 8 week thing, that I would feel great. Just need motiviated.
It also doesn't help that my mom was schizophrenic, and my grandmother, and I worry daily that I will be next. So far so good.
We nurses must stick together!
We do have to stick together...man the stress, Your LPN"S don't pass meds and IV's....here they are allowed to do all of that..meds, start Iv's etc..Even charge nurse in the nursing homes...maybe Ohio is different...now the aides here in the homes are good...but they are in high demand...everywhere it seems is so short staffed.....sucks to be us sometimes...I left the profession for a few reasons..now when I move to florida things may change i may find a job that does not have narcotics etc..that would be a Godsend.....hang in there love to all cin
Same story, different day. I know I am addicted to lortab. I have been taking 80mg a day for 4 years. I manage to keep it a secret but decided to tell my husband last night. I have fibromyalgia with really makes it hard because I truly hurt but I have severly abused the drug. It makes me have energy. I know it makes most people sleep but I stay busy and happy when I am on them. I have tried to quit numerous times. I can only go about 2 days. I get weak from the withdrawls. Right now I have 2 left. I tell myself that this is it, no more. How do others make it through the withdrawls and how long will it last. Is there any dangers of going "cold turkey." Such as seizures or high blood pressure? I have 2 kids, one with a disability and I don't want them to see there Mom in bad shape. I have been praying, almost without stopping, any suggestions? Please?
You may want to repost your question up at the top. Most people read those first and sometimes don't make it back down here. I had the same problem. I went to a methadone clinic. I am now detoxing off the methadone. I tried it without the methadone and just could not handle the depression. I have also started taking the supplements that some of the others here recommended. They have helped me alot. I also take Zoloft for depression. If you look through the forum you will see the supplements I am talking about. I wish I had a miracle for you, but my counselor told me that I didn't get myself into this mess in a day and I was not going to get myself out of it in a day. Good luck.
Hi...I was doing research on the web for a friend of mine who admitted to me today he is hooked on Tylenol 3's taking 15 at a time....This is a potential love interest for me and it's taken 37 years to find this guy but all my friends are saying he's not worth it due to his unreliability caused by his drug addiction. I don't want to give up on him but don't know what to do for him. Two days ago he told me his problem and asked for help and i offered any support in any capacity. Today after taking 15 pills he was all messed up, broke a date with me and told me if i'm fed up to walk away. How can I help him without being pushy or imposing on him. I'm worried sick. 15 Tylenol 3's is suicidal to me. I am a recovered drug addict myself. I'm an addictive personality so I keep replacing my addiction with something else whether it be smoking, candy you name it. I understand what he's going through but feel helpless since when he's stoned all he cares about is his pills and not about me, his friends or family. But when he's straight he wants help and someone to tell him what to do. I don't understand the mentality even though I went through it. I never took pills over a loved one. What do I do? Do I stay in his face or back off? Do I leave him alone or be there? Can you tell me about the mind set of a tylenol 3 addict? Does he have to hit rock bottom before he gets help. Do I offer help or am I asking for trouble? All me friends want me to walk away. But I think I love this guy and need to feel like I'm doing something to help and not stand by or ignore it. Please any advice from you wise and incredibly honest people would help. I've spent hours going through your letters and will say prayers for all of you to be successful in your battles. Thank you...Scorpio
As far as the withdraw goes, you've got to hang-in-there to beat this thing now! Otherwise I'm afraid that you'll have lost you're control "once and for all". I know what I'm saying here since I was never able to get through my 2nd. full day without. I am presently on a methadone program (daily dose) I had no other choice once I couldn't get through the withdraw. You're dillema is rather common, though a truely personal tragedy. Please keep me informed of your success, it is reassuring to know that you've "grabbed the bull by the horns"!
I was chemically dependent on pain meds for 7 years. The last 2 years I was on extremely high doses of oxycontin and morphine. I knew I had a problem and one day I said " ENOUGH". I went into a 3 day hospital stay detox program that was guaranteed to work. OMG! My first night home after I left the hospital, I was in a full withdrawel. I wanted to kill myself. Luckily, I had one morphine patch on so after many hours of climbing the walls and trying not to put the patch on, I gave in and put it on. I was so upset I cried for hours. I felt like the 3 days of the detox program was thrown out the window. I went online the next day to research my options and I read about an out patient program. I went to see a doctor that was on the list and told him my problem. I had to take the patch off and go back the next day. when I went to see him I was in the beggining stages of w/d and I was scared. he gave me a pill called Suboxone 8mgs, and OMG! It was wonderful. My w/d symptoms were gone and I felt good. The program works wonders. It's not addictive and you get weened off the medicine depending on how and when you are ready. I started at 3 pills, 8mgs each, a day. Usually one in the A.M. and one in the P.M. That was in November 2007. It's now March 2009 and I am down to half a pill twice a day, thats only 8mgs a day, which is less than half when I first started!!!! Some days I go without just because I forget to take it, but you hardly notice. It's amazing. I have my days sometimes but it's nothing compared to being addicted to pain meds for 7 years and litterally watching myself deteriorating. I was miserable. No one has to go through painful withdrawel.
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