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K/E Greg Pearl
Gosh guys... I'm lost here. I can't find the regular site we all have been on. Are you guys, K/E, Greg, Precious out there? I can't find our forum!
Well, at least we can come here... just wanted to make sure we all had our forum. Looks like maybe they changed it, but I am so happy you are here. The guys will find us. How is your day going?
I am here! What happened? OMG, all those wonderful posts! I am heart broken. Please copy down my email in case we get lost again!
K/E
K/E
The Addiction Forum has gone through some changes recently. But I am confused by what Forum you are looking for? This post is on the addiction forum on the Medhelp site.
There was a different forum that came up when clicking on this site. K/E: I know! And I didn't print out the 'lost puppy' post! AAHHH! Well, rest assured it is burned into my brain. I have your email address...whew! At least we found each other,,, and I'm SURE everyone else will find us too. My boyfriend has a computer business & I will ask him about it, but my feeling is its may be a gonner. But all is not lost! Looks like we are turing up one by one! Today is day 16 for me, and this is honestly the very best day yet so far. I even slept until 5 am! I popped awake as I usually do, and I was pissed off of course at the vicodin, so I went outside to sit for a minute. And then I wasn't mad anymore...I saw the North Star, and I must say guys, in all my years I have NEVER ever seen it shine so brightly, it looked HUGE like I could almost touch it! It shone like I have never seen it shine before, it was quite amazing. I stared in awe. And then I said to myself " haha vicodin, you are not winning"... it was worth waking up at 5am. The joke was on the vicodin this time....
I am not quite sure what other forum would have come up. Was it the community forum?? That is strange. This is always the forum that is here. I have been here since Feb. so the only thing I can think of is you were on a thread from the archives that was started years ago. and the post got deleted or closed to new posts.
very very good to hear of your triumph so far... keep it up!!! your finding life again in the small things that matter most. this gives me hope for my boyfriend.
lol lol you are too funny. YOU SURE that North Star wasn't the FULL MOON? :) Just a thought. I am fine.+ GOOD for you on day 16. WOW I can't even imagine. I have not even started mine yet. STILL trying to PSYCHE up for it if you know what I mean. BUT I am on like 4-6 vicodin AND 4-6 Soma everyday for last 7 years....You know my story. I am TIRED of it all and I do not work anymore so I am thinking WHY am I taking this ****....I only have like a couple more days of vicodin and that's IF I use it sparingly. Can't refill until Sunday. I HATE this merry go round. HOPE to join you soon. I keep reading these stories, though as it helps me get ready. Thanks
hahaha It WAS a STAR!!! haha I remember just a few weeks ago...down to my last 10, and I knew I was no longer going to get a script after 3 straight years, and I spent any extra money already with 'the man'. I know where you are... Oh the stories we could tell about it. I was sick of it all, always running out early, spending money I didn't have, asking friends. Honestly, the first week was hard!, but I'm telling you, you CAN do it!!! I pretended and put in my head that I really had the flu. Now, today, for the first time in 16 days, I feel so very close to normal! HANG in there GUYS & GALS!!!
Thank you SO much! That was very sweet and meaningful. If anyone ever loses faith in our human race they can just come to this site and they will gain it back! I hope the best for your boyfriend. I was the opposite. My boyfriend has never taken a vicodin or pain med for anything. He tried hard to understand what I was going through, he always asked how I was feeling from day to day... but in reality, he has no idea what it felt like. He just sees now that I am 'much better'. He says I seem happier. I remember telling him about my vicodin use near the beginning of our relationship, and I remember him saying ' It must be terrible to have to depend on a pill to feel 'normal' and not be sick. That was so true and those words hit home. I was beginning to realize just how far I had gone. Let me know if you need anything!
Hmmmmmmmmm I LIKE that comment that your boyfriend said about "it must be terrible to have to DEPEND on a pill to feel normal and NOT be sick" THAT'S how I feel. I mean the Rheumatologist says I have fibromyalgia, had lower back pain (which is gone after out of work for a year now) Did HEAVY work on the back. I just feel like I am getting closer and closer to stopping this merry go round. I asked the Pharmasist today if I could just go cold turkey after taking 4-6 vicodin for 7 years and he said I'd get seizures??? I am a little confused but I will keep posting and reading until MY day comes. :) Thanks
Again, I am not a nurse, but it is rare that anyone has seizures. Believe me, I researched w/s before I did it and it is also very rare that its life-threatening. Its more dangerous to quit c/t from alcohol than form narcotics. And I have known people who have w/d from both without any dangerous side effects. A pharmacist is not a Dr. even though some like to think they are. They, as a pharmacist, do not have the proper education about w/ds. Its like As*holes, everyone has one. :) *** If you do a taper that will ease your mind from that. You CAN feel normal again w/o the pills. I KNOW its hard to believe it...been there! And NOT long ago! I felt today, for the first time in 16 days, myself again. 16 days ago I never thought it would happen. It has. I still have tiny stuff from the w/ds, but not enough to hardly even think about. We are here for you!!!
Yea, I found ya all!
It would appear that the original string of posts has either automatically reset itself or was re set. It was becoming rather lengthy.
What a great day today! Feeling more and more normal every day. The back pain is starting to let up and after reminding myself to LOOSEN UP in the neck area, the tension is letting up its grip on me. It’s amazing how much tension the body will build in the neck and shoulders.
Howls everyone else feeling today?
It would appear that the original string of posts has either automatically reset itself or was re set. It was becoming rather lengthy.
What a great day today! Feeling more and more normal every day. The back pain is starting to let up and after reminding myself to LOOSEN UP in the neck area, the tension is letting up its grip on me. It’s amazing how much tension the body will build in the neck and shoulders.
Howls everyone else feeling today?
HEY! You found us! whew! Doing great today, really good! I am so happy to see you are doing great also! Thats awesome Greg! I felt so good today I can't wait until tomorrow... but guessing I may up looking at that North Star again! haha
Hey Greg, glad you found us. I was starting to wonder if this website removed the forum 'cause we were bashing the medical establishment! LOL
Yeah, I tend to get lots of tension in the neck, and shoulders. When I was going through bad withdrawals I was getting mind altering tension through out my entire chest and back. OMG, that alone will keep me straight.
Today was a great day. I never thought I'd get to this point. I am sad we lost that forum, because it had so much important history, something that I, and others, could read to remember where we were and how far we've come.
You, my friend, were there from the beginning. I'll never forget that.
K/E
Yeah, I tend to get lots of tension in the neck, and shoulders. When I was going through bad withdrawals I was getting mind altering tension through out my entire chest and back. OMG, that alone will keep me straight.
Today was a great day. I never thought I'd get to this point. I am sad we lost that forum, because it had so much important history, something that I, and others, could read to remember where we were and how far we've come.
You, my friend, were there from the beginning. I'll never forget that.
K/E
You, dear, are an inspiration. :) I remember when you first posted. You were so sick. You are so brave, wow, I am in awe! You did it!!
After going through this, doesn't the small stuff seem easy?
About your comment on needing a pill to feel normal... For the longest time, years actually, I told myself I didn't need the pill, but rather I just prefered it. It wasn't until I acknowledged that the pill controlled me and everything I did that I decided to get off. I hate being controlled. I felt like a puppet. I feel so good just feeling free. Free at last.
:)
K/E
Here's to the north star, and all beautiful things in the sky.
After going through this, doesn't the small stuff seem easy?
About your comment on needing a pill to feel normal... For the longest time, years actually, I told myself I didn't need the pill, but rather I just prefered it. It wasn't until I acknowledged that the pill controlled me and everything I did that I decided to get off. I hate being controlled. I felt like a puppet. I feel so good just feeling free. Free at last.
:)
K/E
Here's to the north star, and all beautiful things in the sky.
Darn it! You brought tears to my eyes again...but happy ones. I am speechless once again. And when I am up at night looking at that huge sparkling north star, I will think of you...and the rest of you, too.
How are you guys feeling? K/E, how are you doing with your taper? Greg, how many days now? Give me an update! I'm on day 17...wow. Its all good..........
Hey, breakingfree, I am doing really good. Thanks for asking. Yesterday you mentioned that you slept until 5:00 a.m. This morning when I woke up I looked at the clock and it read 4:48, and the first thing I thought was “I almost tied breakingfree.” LOL That’s the best I’ve slept in awhile. I rarely make it through the entire night.
My taper is working out well. I didn’t really do it the right way from the beginning, though. Or maybe I did, in hindsight. It’s exactly a month today that I made the decision to get off the pills. Initially I went from many, many pills a day to two a day. In the spirit of a taper, which is supposed to adapt your body to less and less drugs, this was way too much. The first week wasn’t too bad, but on like day 7 I started having brutal withdrawal. It kicked my ***, but I hung in there. Actually that’s when I found you guys.
After my body started to stabilize I tapered a half tablet a week. I am at a half in the afternoon, and a half at night now. This Friday I am scheduled to drop another half. I might go a few days at just a half, or I might just quit totally on Friday. I seriously doubt my body “needs” a half a pill a day, or I might go two or three days at a half and be done. Either way I am excited!! I am rounding third and heading for home.
I am glad that I got a good taste of withdrawals. I never want to go through that again. I think if it is too easy to get off, it’d be too easy to get back on. The odd thing is I haven’t had any cravings. It’s like I magically lost interest in the drug. That has never happened before during any of my previous half baked and half hearted attempts at quitting. This time something was different, like I knew it was time. Have you ever been in love with someone and you worshiped the ground they walked on, and then they did something cruel or mean, and almost instantly you saw them in a different light? Pills were my lover, and they betrayed me, and I’ve put their bags on the curb, out of my life.
My withdrawals are much less intense, and less frequent now. I don’t get those hot flashes, or the creepy skin sensations. The fatigue has improved a lot. I think the worst is muscle tightness and spasms sometimes during the day. But I feel soooo much better.
I’ll tell you how I feel. It was like my soul was trapped in a dark cellar for years. Now it feels like it’s standing in the sun after a Spring shower. I feel cleansed. I see the pieces of my life in front of me, ready to be assembled, to be made whole again.
Always the best,
K/E
My taper is working out well. I didn’t really do it the right way from the beginning, though. Or maybe I did, in hindsight. It’s exactly a month today that I made the decision to get off the pills. Initially I went from many, many pills a day to two a day. In the spirit of a taper, which is supposed to adapt your body to less and less drugs, this was way too much. The first week wasn’t too bad, but on like day 7 I started having brutal withdrawal. It kicked my ***, but I hung in there. Actually that’s when I found you guys.
After my body started to stabilize I tapered a half tablet a week. I am at a half in the afternoon, and a half at night now. This Friday I am scheduled to drop another half. I might go a few days at just a half, or I might just quit totally on Friday. I seriously doubt my body “needs” a half a pill a day, or I might go two or three days at a half and be done. Either way I am excited!! I am rounding third and heading for home.
I am glad that I got a good taste of withdrawals. I never want to go through that again. I think if it is too easy to get off, it’d be too easy to get back on. The odd thing is I haven’t had any cravings. It’s like I magically lost interest in the drug. That has never happened before during any of my previous half baked and half hearted attempts at quitting. This time something was different, like I knew it was time. Have you ever been in love with someone and you worshiped the ground they walked on, and then they did something cruel or mean, and almost instantly you saw them in a different light? Pills were my lover, and they betrayed me, and I’ve put their bags on the curb, out of my life.
My withdrawals are much less intense, and less frequent now. I don’t get those hot flashes, or the creepy skin sensations. The fatigue has improved a lot. I think the worst is muscle tightness and spasms sometimes during the day. But I feel soooo much better.
I’ll tell you how I feel. It was like my soul was trapped in a dark cellar for years. Now it feels like it’s standing in the sun after a Spring shower. I feel cleansed. I see the pieces of my life in front of me, ready to be assembled, to be made whole again.
Always the best,
K/E
You know, listening to you just now and hearing how well you are coming along... I don't have words to say how PROUD I am of you, and sometimes I seem at a loss for words to convey it. We have poured our hearts & souls out to one another to get through this, and we are doing so well! You have no idea K/E what it means to me when you say you thought of me when you woke at 4:48 am. I made it until 5:11 this morning! haha We were both probably looking at the clock! I am with you, in my heart, all the way. I am on day 17! whew! It is good... very very good! I look in the mirror, and my pupils are not the size of saucers from w/d, I have a look of peace on my face, I feel happier inside, I don't feel that "I'm running low on vics feeling!" i.e. When? Where? How much? How many? Too soon? Make these last until when? Borrow from whom again? Will they know? Mom again? Auntie again? Mail again? $$$$. When I look back just 2 weeks ago, It was the beginning of the end. Thank God. I am so fortunate to have gone down this road with you K/E...and Greg too. I didn't do my taper the right way when I had the chance. I am so happy you had that. I went down FAST. But...its OK now, and I am a new person. Builds character. Any w/d will build character! Even though I have gone through this...I am happy to have known you guys and had a chance to meet you and go through it with you. I wouold not have had it any other way. Sweet dreams....
Hi breaking. I hope you had another good day. I had a suberb day. Day 18 for you? Day one seems like an eternity ago. Has it only been 2 1/2 weeks? Amazing!
I am so disappointed we lost our original forum. :/ I wanted to preserve that history so much. It was life changing. I felt like so many people were being reached and encouraged. Everyone seems to have moved on?!
I would very much like to keep in touch. With Greg too - are you out there? I want to share that 30th day clean with you, etc..
Shall we continue to greet here, or via email? Thoughts?
K/E
PS - your pupils were only the size of diner plates?! Damn, I thought I was staring at two freakin' dinner plates when I looked in the mirror. LOL :)-
I am so disappointed we lost our original forum. :/ I wanted to preserve that history so much. It was life changing. I felt like so many people were being reached and encouraged. Everyone seems to have moved on?!
I would very much like to keep in touch. With Greg too - are you out there? I want to share that 30th day clean with you, etc..
Shall we continue to greet here, or via email? Thoughts?
K/E
PS - your pupils were only the size of diner plates?! Damn, I thought I was staring at two freakin' dinner plates when I looked in the mirror. LOL :)-
Duh, I meant:
PS - your pupils were only the size of saucers? Etc....
Have a great night!
PS - your pupils were only the size of saucers? Etc....
Have a great night!
Oh, you can’t shake me off that easy! I’ve been right here every night.
Anyway, my buddy Vince came over tonight. I have not seen him sense I moved a couple years ago. I knew he was coming so I tied a string to the top shelf of my medicine cabinet to the door.
He asked where the bathroom was and I sent him, thirty seconds later SMASH! LOL!!! Man you should have seen his face! I could not believe it!
I have to tell you guys, I don’t think poor old Vinny will be coming by again any time soon.
I am all for Email contact. I miss the old board too! It really chronicled our departure quite well.
Anyway, my buddy Vince came over tonight. I have not seen him sense I moved a couple years ago. I knew he was coming so I tied a string to the top shelf of my medicine cabinet to the door.
He asked where the bathroom was and I sent him, thirty seconds later SMASH! LOL!!! Man you should have seen his face! I could not believe it!
I have to tell you guys, I don’t think poor old Vinny will be coming by again any time soon.
I am all for Email contact. I miss the old board too! It really chronicled our departure quite well.
Wow...we can come here now and lately, continually laugh about some things! That was funny Greg! We all seem to be laughing more & more. I have a smile literally from ear to ear. There is no way I want to lose touch with you guys so the answer is yes, email it is. I will email you K/E with my email address, and I'm sure Greg will do the same, if he hasn't already. I meant to print our old forum... that will teach me to procrastinate! Still will be in my mind forever. I think about some of the things you guys have said alot during my day sometimes, and I laugh to myself. And you know, I think less & less about 'getting another pill'. (way way less craving) Nearly none now. I slept until 4:48 this morning! If you can go look at the moon tonight (not the north star :) lol - it is beautiful tonight! ( I must have this secret adoration for the evening sky) I just can't convey enough how you both have helped me through this... I only hope I did half as much for you... lets go for 5:30 am K/E!
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