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[vicaddict]

WHat chem meant by "screwy" was that we COULD NOT get into see the thread, if you look above that I said I cannot view the thread anymore.
That is what was being referred to hun not you.

Hope that clears that up.

Tracy

[KMHSMB]

I am sorry honey, I am taking everything the wrong way, and I'm not going to lie right now if I could get a hold of some pills I'd probaly be on cloud nine, but it just seems like the world is turning against me, and i am snapping on the wrong people and chem was there for me when I was at work I took it the wrong way I know, I didn't know what she meant and I shouldn't have acted the way that I did. It just sucks that the one person that's supose to be there for me isn't and it's killing me inside to know that I not only have to deal with an addiction problem, but I have to deal with the fact that the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with really doesn't give 2 sh*ts about me!!! I'm sorry!!! I am screwy and she would have every right to call me that if that was what she meant (although it wasn't what she meant) I am a nut case, and I am just letting the whole world fold over on me and it seems i'm only making it worse on myself, I am being sober dealing with all of this, and it's weird cause when I was younger, 15 years old to be exact, my mom turned into a crackhead, I had to quit school and sell drugs to take care of myself, feed myself, cloth myself, pay HER rent, etc. and then I lost my first love who killed himself, and a few friends, and so much more and this is all before I ever knew anything about pills.....and I was soooooo strong then, why am I so weak now?

[vicaddict]

I totally understand...and this addiction is hell and then you add family/home/life in gerneral on top it all is a mess.
However I do have to suggest something to you...
I really would post an apology to chem as it was her post that was misunderstood.
Just a suggestion. And again I understand.

Also please try and
remember this as well:
You have to sit back..refocus...and BREATHE....right now your only concern should be your daughter and you.
Worry about the rest later....honestly..trying to tackle it all at once like this...you will have a breakdown hun. I had to learn to "re-equip" my mind in counseling b/c I ALWAYS took things to heart, no matter what it was. I also was a person who had to be doing 15 things at once, and also took everything the wrong way.
With that being said...

Breathe....and take one day at a time sweety.
You will be fine and so will everything else.
Take care of yourself and your daughter, the rest will fall into place hun.
Huggs
Tracy

[KMHSMB]

Thanks!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX YOUR THE BEST!!!!

[vicaddict]

Your welcome hun!

Huggs
Tracy

[KMHSMB]

do you think chem will forgive me? I think she won't....she hasn't answered me on aim for a while now, that was before i even posted about the whole screwy thing or whatever? I posted an apology to her!! I tried to say sorry through aim cause it says she's online too??? She probaly hates me now :( Hope not!!